Are people who have weddings on holiday weekends selfish and rude?

[onecoolmama]

LOL! I dunno about DC being southern, but ok.

I just have such a big family that I wanted to include everyone. And family that came from out of town..I wanted them to feel appreciated. It was hard for me becuase I was living in Philly, so I knew what the rest of the out of towners were going through!LOL!

We paid for the entire wedding, but my aunt threw the dinner and the BBQ's. It was just nice that soo many people were there and I had such a big wedding party..I tried to accomidate everyone as much as possible!

But it is a blast too! Everyone still talks about it!

 

[disney4us2002]

Add us to the rude and selfish list. We got married on Saturday Aug 30th which meant Monday was Sept 1st and therefore Labor Day. I really did not even realize it was a holiday weekend when we picked the date over a year in advance. I was just a numbers kind of gal and like 8-30-86; all even numbers. Might be a strange thing but then I'm strange anyway. I got to pick my kids' birthdates as they were planned c-sections and they're all even dates as well, lol.

Some of our relatives travelled more than 8 hours to come to our big day and we received grateful notes that it was a long weekend. I guess our wedding wasn't as much of an imposition as your family's get togethers.

 

[Beth E. (NJ)]

My sister got married on Saturday of Mother's Day weekend. THe wedding was in New Hampshire where they met. We are from NJ and his family is from upstate NY -- so it was a bit of a trip for all of us.

They had a dinner Friday night for anyone who was in town. The wedding was Saturday evening and then on Sunday my parent's threw a Mother's Day brunch.

Inconvienient? Perhaps but lots of people made the trip. Not everyone stayed for Sunday but a surprising number did.

I'm rude too -- I got married the day after my sister turned 21. My mom wouldn't let her go out and drink the night before my wedding because she didn't want her hung over the next day. She was able to drink at my reception though.

 

[CamColt]

ROFL! I never realized this before now, but out of my 4 close friends, 3 are married. One got married Memorial Day weekend, one was Thanksgiving weekend, and the last one was on Columbus Day weekend. Honestly it didnt bother me at all, in fact it works out well for me. Since we spend 1 weekend day at the wedding, its nice to still have 2 weekend days...especially nice to have extra time to recover from a big night out partying without the kids.
On the other hand I do see your point about having to give up a long weekend away. I guess if you have plans to go away somewhere and dont really want to go to the wedding then you have a perfect excuse to decline the invitation.

 

[spagheddie]

Originally posted by onecoolmama
Well, my wedding was a week long and NOT on a Holiday Weekend!

As much fun as everyone had...they said next time someone plans that much, please make sure it is over a holiday weekend so that they dont have to take off work!

Tuesday was a BBQ, Wednsday - my wedding party was big so I took them all to an amusement park for the day as my gift.)

Thursday - rehersal and then dinner

Friday - wedding

Sat BBQ with everyone that came in

Sun - opening gifts (most family came..)

Also, I schedule to have my kids over holiday weekends. That way people dont have to take off work to take care of my other kids.

I guess I am rude and selfish...but I still like me. If people don't want to come..please dont; i would rather not have you there if you don't want to be there!

Now what everyone else was thinking:

Tuesday: Guests thinking to themselves: "Why am I here 3 days before the wedding?"

Wednesday: Guests thinking to themselves, "Amusment parks are fun, but when is the wedding again?"

Thursday: Email disbelieving friends at work and confirm, Yes I did take a weeks vacation for someone else's wedding. Guests thinking to themselves, "FINALLY! Something to do with the wedding".

Friday: Guests thinking to themselves, "It'll all be over soon."

Saturday: Guests thinking to themselves, "Why haven't we left yet?"

Sunday: Guests thinking to themselves, "How thoughtful that they would allow us to watch them open their presents. I haven't had this much fun since I had a root canal. Can someone get these two a cab for the airport? PLEASE!"

 

[onecoolmama]

WOW! I am soo sorry you dont have fun people around you! What a bummer.

My family all says that was the best wedding they had been to in a LONG time!

But then again, I have a huge loving family that all likes spending time together and joking around. It is too bad that everyone doesn't have that!


By the way..if you saw my wedding party, you would realize that everyone in it was my cousin..not a guest! And nope, as a matter of fact two of them ask me to help them plan theirs becuase it was soo much fun.

But then again, not everyone has a loving family!

This was my wedding party

http://www.geocities.com/onecoolmama77/onecoolmama.html

The few family members that werent able to come...they were actaully very upset. It was the last wedding my grandmother attended and I was very fortunate to have her at all of the events! (with the exception of the amusement park!)

http://www.geocities.com/onecoolmama77/my_family.html

 

[aprilgail2]

I owuld prefer not to go to weddings on three day weekends as I normally make plans to go away or do something fun with my duaghter those weekends. I really do NOT like going to weddings...even weddings of family and friends...I just don't like them...the last wedding I went to people were taking bets as to how long before they got divorced! I try to turn down all that I can but the family ones I have to go to but I really would like to stay home....I think worse than the holiday weekend weddings are the Friday ones.....by the time I get home from work on a Friday the LAST thing I want to do is go back out until 1am at a wedding.

 

[aprilgail2]

Originally posted by onecoolmama

Sun - opening gifts (most family came..)

Wow, that is one I have never heard of...people coming over to watch you open gifts.....actually I have never seen anyone bring or give gifts for a wedding...the gifts come at the bridal shower..weddings are strickly a cash/check gift thing around here.

 

[powellrj]

we were married in June, so there was no 3 day weekend to worry about, but I did have my DD over memorial day weekend and DS was born during the NCAA semi-finals weekend. My ds is 13 now and my DF still says every year at his birthday " I don't know why anyone would have a baby during the NCAA tourney" I will never forget, they were all gathered around the TV watching the game, but I did make them keep it on mute! The only day I really think is rude is to plan a wedding on Christmas day and the minister then has to give up his family christmas to marry someone.

 

[onecoolmama]

Nope, we did get alot of cash, but we had no China or anything so we registered.


I have over 150 family members just on my mom's side, they didnt all make the wedding and that picture was take at the very end of the night..so even more people had left.

But, I had a lot of gifts brought to the wedding. People dont register for gifts where you are?

 

[arminnie]

Originally posted by Minnesota!
I am obviously in the minority, but I agree with the OP. I don't want to spend my holiday weekend at a wedding, a birthday ANYTHING! I want to be able to do whatever I want, and trust me, dressing up and going somewhere formal is NOT something I want to do. I think it IS rude.

So who is "making" you do what you don't want to do? I decline any wedding invitation that I don't want to go to whether it's on a holiday or not.

Don't you know how to say "No, thank you"? That's a phase that comes in very handy in a lot of situations.

 

[aprilgail2]

Originally posted by onecoolmama


But, I had a lot of gifts brought to the wedding. People dont register for gifts where you are?

Yes, they register for the bridal shower gifts but no one brings gifts to weddings..

 

[stinkerbelle]

Originally posted by aprilgail2
I think worse than the holiday weekend weddings are the Friday ones.....by the time I get home from work on a Friday the LAST thing I want to do is go back out until 1am at a wedding.

Well...this was our reasoning for having a Friday wedding...

those that want to be there to celebrate with us, will take the time off of work to be there. Those that don't, won't. No biggie.

Just like with holiday weddings...sometimes you can't find a Saturday available.

I much rather attend a Friday wedding over a Sunday wedding...I like a day to recoup from the festivities/traveling.

And that whole 'opening gifts' in front of people...man...I hated doing that at my shower...like I would want to go through it again after my wedding. We only had, really, 4 or 5 "gifts" to open, the rest were cards.

 

[Rock'n Robin]

I have seen the grief caused by selfish family members. Last year we had a surprise dinner for my in-laws 40th wedding anniversary. I invited MIL's sister and her husband who live 2 hours south of here. Well they couldn't come because they were going to the Lake. This was not a holiday weekend and they go to the Lake EVERY weekend, but they wouldn't skip one precious moment at the Lake. FIL's brother and his wife came though and we had a great time.
Now this year MIL's nephew, who's mother is the same sister, gets married. They obviously didn't go to the Lake THAT weekend, LOL. But MIL said for months that it would be a cold day you-know-where before she went to that wedding, her reason being it was the day after her own anniversary! Now I know David didn't schedule his wedding to conflict with her day but I think the real reason was her being snubbed by her own sister and her sister's houseboat. Turns out she broke her back in March and was unable to travel anyhow--but it was sad, because all of her surviving siblings were there and other family she hasn't seen since their mother died in 2001.
As I get older I don't do anything that doesn't really excite me--for instance I'm going to watch more Reagan funeral stuff instead of going to see Davy Jones at a local festival tonight, I can't get my lazy butt motivated (if it was Micky Dolenz I'd go ). We got 3 graduation party invites and we're only going to one of them. We don't have "the shore" or "the Lake" to go to, but 3 day weekends for me really only mark the end or start of my summer vacation so weddings don't bother me. If I have a conflict or it is someone I like but don't care enough to get dressed up for, I'll just send a nice card. All the people in my immediate social circle (a small one I admit) are already married and we have a few years before their kids start getting married. I am going to a fellow teacher's wedding this summer (she student taught for me) but I skipped her bachelorette party and her shower. If your heart isn't in going, don't!
Robin M.

 

[Christine]

Well, everyone of my weekends is precious to me since both DH and I work full-time and our commutes are hell. The only time I can get my house clean and do the chores is Saturday and Sunday. If I go to a wedding on Saturday, my whole weekend is blown and I'm tired. So, I am GRATEFUL when someone has a wedding on a 3-day weekend. It give me time to enjoy the wedding and leaves me enough time to get all my other weekend stuff done.

Also, Friday night weddings are even better. I'm usually in a fabulous partying mood on Friday night and what better way to start the weekend then a nice wedding and party with two more days after to rest up.

 

[Sammie]

Are people who have weddings on holidays and weekends selfish and rude?

To me absolutely not. It is their choice as to when they get married, just as it is my choice to attend or not attend. I would say if one can not attend in a spirit of wanting to be there, then staying home would probably be appreicated by all especially the bride and groom.

Not everything can be scheduled to fit the wants of everyone else. There would be no time perfect for everyone invited and I am sure there is a reason a date is chosen for a wedding. Many times that is the only time the bride and groom can get off from work or get the church.

It most certainly is not chosen to incovenience anyone.

 

[Duchie]

Count us in as one of the "rude, selfish" couples who scheduled their wedding on a holiday weekend. We were married on Labor Day weekend because it was the only day the church was available. ALL of our family had to travel from out of town so they all told us they appreciated the extra day. We didn't get any complaints from anyone - I suppose those who had an issue with it just didn't attend.

 

[C.Ann]

Originally posted by Rock'n Robin
I have seen the grief caused by selfish family members. Last year we had a surprise dinner for my in-laws 40th wedding anniversary. I invited MIL's sister and her husband who live 2 hours south of here. Well they couldn't come because they were going to the Lake. This was not a holiday weekend and they go to the Lake EVERY weekend, but they wouldn't skip one precious moment at the Lake.

-----------------------------

I don't think anyone has the right to dictate how someone else chooses to spend their time - even if it's family..

I'm one of those "lake" people myself and have turned down numerous invitations over the years during our "lake season".. However, there is a couple that has a place across the street from us who are lucky to make it up to the lake ONCE from May till October - because they have so many invitations to various events EVERY SINGLE WEEKEND - Friday, Saturday and Sunday.. They paid a hefty price for their lake house, pay hefty taxes and beach fees every year, dropped a bundle on a boat, and have NO time to make use of any of it because they feel "obligated" to accept all of these invitations from family and close friends.. They might as well have taken all that money they invested for a place at the lake and threw it in their fireplace..

If someone truly "wants" to accept an invitation that's fine - but to imply that they "must" is not acceptable to me.. Each and every one of us has only a limited amount of free days in our lives and no one else has the right to tell us what to do with them or where we should spend them..

 

[stinkerbelle]

Originally posted by disney4us2002
I was just a numbers kind of gal and like 8-30-86; all even numbers. Might be a strange thing but then I'm strange anyway.

how funny - all my dates are odd! never realized/noticed that!

 

[J.Cooper]

Call me selfish or rude but I personally dislike being invited to ANY function on the long holiday weekends. I look at it as my only day off. I don't like being tied down to parties/weddings etc... Just look forward to having a long weekend to chill out. That extra day off means a lot to us. Even 4th of July. That holiday can fall during the week or weekend. Sorry, but I prefer to stay home an enjoy my day off, than being stuck at some party all day long.

Now in regards to the couple having holiday weekend wedding, I don't necessarily think the couple having there wedding on the long holiday weekend is selfish. It's there choice. Just decline to go. Trust me, I do. Not just for a wedding, but any function I don't want to attend. Remember, no one can force you to go. People will try and lay the guilt trip on you if you decline, but it's your life. Do as you please!!