Anyone have a little boy with longer hair?

[TotalSnowWhite]

DS has curls on the end of his hair. If he cut it, they'd probably be gone for good. Same thing happened to his uncle. He'll probably lose the curl at some point, but it's cute now, so we haven't cut them off yet. I don't think it's really "long," but it's longer than most of his friends' hair. He's been mistaken for a girl, maybe, twice. No big deal to us.

Here's DS and his curly (girly?) hair :

The second one was from our Poly photo shoot!! He's a little frizzy, but it was a warm May day and this was about 15 minutes post-pool! Hehe!!

We're Native, so a lot of our family members and friends (of the male variety) have long hair. DS has a friend who is also Native, and he keeps his hair in braids. They're all very "manly" men, so the length of hair has nothing to do with boys growing up to be men (as someone alluded to in a previous post).

Funny story...
My male cousins are 13 and 14. They both used to keep long hair for when they gourd danced at the Fourth of July Pow Wow. They used to bet a buck each time we went out to dinner that the server would ask what "she" wanted. Haha!! Most of the time they won their dollars. They now have shorter, shaggy hair, but it is still "long" for boy standards. Why did they cut? The older one got it caught in his rope while repelling (a fairly "manly" activity), and they had to chop it with a pocket knife. I personally like the shaggy look for them because it looks more modern, but they'll probably grow it long again. Either way, it looks nice.

 

[christa112]

My son had the most gorgeous head of Blonde hair with curls when he was about 1.5 yrs old. But after a while I would cut it because he really did look like a girl. I hated his hair short and almost cried when the hair dresser cut his hair. Keep in mind, that eventually his curls did not grow back.

Good in your decision it is not going to be an easy one.

 

[nessz79]

My first had those little curls and his hair was gorgeous! We trimmed it now and then but it was relatively "long" for a boy (but the curls helped it look shorter). Eventually we cut it all when he was a little over 2 and it's never been the same! His hair became thicker and straighter and those days are over.

OP- I don't know how old your child is, but I'd enjoy it for a while and then around 2-3 I would cut it. I know we shouldn't be concerned with our kids "fitting in", but I actually think it's pretty important for preschool boys to feel like they fit in with the other boys. It's a time that kids really start to identify with their gender. We actually had some issues there with our first. He's all adjusted now, but I'm glad he didn't have long hair still at the preschool age or it would have been more difficult.

 

[mommy-on-the-move]

My eldest son has longer hair- he'll be six soon and it's his choice, Daddy has longer hair (was down to his waist when our eldest was born, is now "Sawyer from lost" style ) Grandad has longer hair most of the time (just had it all cut off for my sisters wedding) we're not really a short hair family.

DS has really, really, really thick hair- it's got a bit of a curl to it but when short it sticks out everywhere, I don't like buzz cutting as we live in an area where headlice goes around ALOT and here (not saying everyone with buzzcuts- just where i live!) it reminds me of moms who have gotten so t'd off with treating headlice so they shaved instead!

DS's hair was down to his shoulders when he got it all cut short and feathered for sil's wedding and frankly he looked odd, nothing like himself. He grew it back, down his back but layered and then had it cut to a shoulder length straight cut for school around a year later, he had it cut in July for my sisters august wedding and had it cut curtains style, he walked into the playground the morning after having it cut and EVERYONE was stopping to turn around and look at him as he was the long haired kid and suddenly shorter hair His one teacher cried LOL because she likes his long hair! We moved over the summer and he's keeping it shorter now at his new school but it's what alot of people class as long still.

A few boys say the odd thing but he just shrugs it off- he's autistic, if they weren't picking on his hair they'd chose one of the other oddities about him. He never gets mistaken for a girl though- only occasional jibe from people who know he's a boy, he's built solidly though and deep voiced so i think that deters people thinking he's a girl.

My youngest daughter had short hair (winona ryder style pixie-crop) after a brother-haircut and she never got mistaken for a boy- again facially she looks very much like a girl

My youngest son gets confused ALL the time as he has noooooo hair at almost 2 and very pretty long eye lashes hopefully people telling him what a pretty girl he is won't damage him longterm though.

 

[I_Know_You2!]

I personally tend to think that long hair on an older male child is a style choice the child is making based on their personal wishes. On a toddler, or early elementary schooler, it often just seems to be a parent who likes the long hair thus the kiddo gets stuck with comments about it all the time. For the same reason I don't like ear piercing on little boys or expressing a mother's feminism by dressing their daughter like a boy. It should be a child's choice to go against societal norms later in life, not a parent making a statement with their kiddo.

One more thing I will say on this topic and then I'll shut up since I'm in the minority here, a young kid will often say what their parents want to hear so if a parent says "your curls are so beautiful and long" all the time and then says "do you want to have your pretty curls cut off?" the kiddo is unlikely to say they want it cut off because they want to please their parents.

I agree with you.

Thinking of your feminism comment reminded me of a friend who is still traumatized because her mom made her wear pants to school when it was against the rules.

 

[imthatgirl]

LOL, i guess it really doesn't bother me that much what people think or say. Occasionally like yesterday, it gets under my skin, and that is usually the tone of the person saying it.
it didn't bother me or him at all last winter when he got called princess at disney......... but then again he was only 4.......hehe
Maybe it is me hanging onto my "baby", I did try to get him to let me cut it several times over the summer, because of being hot and icky and dirty and sweaty, but he wanted none of it.
my dd is in need of a haircut and i was thinking if I took her to one of those kid cut places, he may let them cut his hair, i prob wouldn't go super short for the first time..........but at least up off his shoulders,
he does still have that sweet baby face, and long lashes, so i can see sometimes why he gets called she.........but really i guess i get perplexed at it when he is definitely dressed like a boy, all boy, no mistake in the clothing........but oh well.
I am not one for doing what society thinks i should anyway.........

you say hes 4, i wonder if he isnt so much as holding on to his hair but instead just scared to get a hair cut?

 

[Belle4mygrl]

I am not a big fan of long hair on boys (curls or not). IMHO, very few can pull it off and look cute. There are lots of shorter cuts that can still show off his curls without making him look like a girl.......

I am probably in the minority here, but I like little boys to look like little boys

I with ya!


As for most older men, especially,mistaking boys and girls they don't notice the outfits.

 

[mjkacmom]

Just one more thing about hair...it's also pretty gross when a parent insists their daughter have long hair, when the hair is just not pretty and is stringy and thin. That is just the parent thinking "Oooh, we have a girl, let's keep her hair long". Ick. Please recognize that sometimes hair needs to be a bit shorter in order to keep it looking healthy!!!

Oh, I can't agree more! Don't brag that your child has never had a haircut - trim up those ends! No one (child or ADULT) should go more than 3 months without a cut - it just looks gross. My ds5 was the only one with baby curls, and yes, sometimes, when he was a baby, I'd dress him in his sister's jammies, and she in his, and put some ribbons in (she had NO hair). However, when it started to look messy, off to the barber.

 

[Russian-in-Kansas]

While it does not bother me what people do with their kids' hair, it does bother me when they get offended and rude if you make an honest mistake in regards to that child's gender because of their hair. In our school there is a boy who has diamond studs in both ears and very long hair he keeps in a pony tail. At orientation my son asked me to go and meet the new girl in his class and when we went over to them, I guess the mom had overheard my son and was quite rude to my 6 year old, saying how he should look at her son's face before assuming that he is a girl and to 'never make that mistake again'. I am sorry but we are a military family and in our world it is very rare to see earings and long hair on men, it really was a mistake. I couldn't have told it was a boy just by the face and clothes don't tell me much sometimes either as girls quite often wear jeans and a tshirt too. Keep your kids' hair long or short, but please don't assume we're trying to offend you by calling your son a daughter, it really isn't that easy to tell sometimes.

 

[KirstenB]

Just one more thing about hair...it's also pretty gross when a parent insists their daughter have long hair, when the hair is just not pretty and is stringy and thin. That is just the parent thinking "Oooh, we have a girl, let's keep her hair long". Ick. Please recognize that sometimes hair needs to be a bit shorter in order to keep it looking healthy!!!

I've been trying to find a tactful way to explain this to my 10 yr old dd. She and I have the same straight thin hair. Mine is very short. Like most girls her age, she had to have LONG hair. It's past her shoulders, and I make her wash it every day. Still I keep hoping she'll want it shorter. I can't figure out a way to say this without really hurting her feelings. She's a girly-girl, and having long hair is such a big deal to her. We put it in rollers before bedtime, which helps give it some lift.

 

[npmommie]

you say hes 4, i wonder if he isnt so much as holding on to his hair but instead just scared to get a hair cut?

hmmm I don't think he is afraid, but he could be. He does let me snip the ends to straighten it up a bit.
he comes along when dd gets her hair cut, and last time he said he wanted a cut too.......but when it came time for his turn, he said no he didn't want to do it. He didn't act scared or upset. So I didn't push it, I don't want him to be scared.
That is why I was thinking of one of those fun kid places where they sit in an airplane or something, that may entice him. I didn't even think of doing it at Disney last time. that may have worked out too........
I am not on the computer with all my pics right now, later I can post a pic so you all can see how long it is!! LOL

 

[nessz79]

hmmm I don't think he is afraid, but he could be. He does let me snip the ends to straighten it up a bit.
he comes along when dd gets her hair cut, and last time he said he wanted a cut too.......but when it came time for his turn, he said no he didn't want to do it. He didn't act scared or upset. So I didn't push it, I don't want him to be scared.
That is why I was thinking of one of those fun kid places where they sit in an airplane or something, that may entice him. I didn't even think of doing it at Disney last time. that may have worked out too........
I am not on the computer with all my pics right now, later I can post a pic so you all can see how long it is!! LOL

This is sounding more and more like my oldest...remember, the one who had some gender issues around this age. It's normal at this age to experiment with "other gender" things- my oldest would wear the princess dresses at the dress-up center at preschool. He was also obsessed with long hair at the time and would often pretend he had long hair.

I'm not saying it's not ok to experiment with things that aren't their own gender, it's just that we really had to encourage him to do boy things. We finally got him to cut his hair when we cut his younger brother's hair and made a big fuss. Since then, he's always kept it short. At 5.5 years old he realizes the social norm of boys now and wants to act like a boy. He's still my quiet, sensitive, creative little boy, but he's definitely a boy.

Anyway, this may not be your situation, but my oldest did go through the phase I just described. Just an FYI in case you do find yourself in this situation.

 

[imthatgirl]

hmmm I don't think he is afraid, but he could be. He does let me snip the ends to straighten it up a bit.
he comes along when dd gets her hair cut, and last time he said he wanted a cut too.......but when it came time for his turn, he said no he didn't want to do it. He didn't act scared or upset. So I didn't push it, I don't want him to be scared.
That is why I was thinking of one of those fun kid places where they sit in an airplane or something, that may entice him. I didn't even think of doing it at Disney last time. that may have worked out too........
I am not on the computer with all my pics right now, later I can post a pic so you all can see how long it is!! LOL

sitting in a chair to get your hair cut and having mommy snip the ends are two entirely different things. i would think the longer you wait the more frightening it will become. although he is going to get to an age that he could except it. but at 4 usually anything they havent done before and are unsure about is a little scary.

personally i wouldnt worry about ti being a gender issue. not just from him not wanting a hair cut. if hes demanding he only wear skirts to school you might have an issue, but not just from his hair. i have 2 sons they both wore dress up clothes. they both wanted to carry a pocket book just like mommy. they would both put on wigs too. its so very normal. kids, no people in general are curious about anything thats different.

 

[eh24fan]

I am not a big fan of long hair on boys (curls or not). IMHO, very few can pull it off and look cute. There are lots of shorter cuts that can still show off his curls without making him look like a girl.......

I am probably in the minority here, but I like little boys to look like little boys

I'm with you! My 20 month old had his 1st hair cut @ 4.5 months...yup. He was born with a head FULL of black hair and by then there were long pieces below his ears. DFi's family freaked and kept talking about how we should have left it to see if it got all curly like DFi's was and how cute it would be blah blah. I told 'em that he was a boy and would look like one...DFi looked like a girl.

I'm not into this long, shaggy look on boys unless they have a wave to it or thick curls...even then I hate the long hair. My ex let his grow long after we split. YUCK! I always beg him to let me cut the ponytail off. Thank goodness our 8 yr old hates the long hair.