Any Unschoolers here who ditched that method?

[okeydokey]

I don't know, does the world still need ditch diggers? A kid who can't read can't even get a drivers license.

 

[fimac]

She reads to them every day, they go to the library and the kids choose the books, but the oldest isn't interested in even being read to anymore. He says it's "dumb". I've asked him doesn't he want to learn to read so that he can read the instructions on his erector sets etc, and he says they come with picture instructions.

She's a good mom in that she gives them tons of attention, but when they want to watch TV for hours all day and draw, she backs off because they need to do what they need to do.

What does "dumb" mean to the child ? Does it mean that he has tried and failed ? Is he embarrassed that he cannot read ?

When reading about unschooling it the schooling should be student led, it did not say that the child could not be taught something he is interested in. How do they cope with the reading on video games ?

 

[Coconut36]

In my opinion that isn't unschooling. That is nothing, especially if she does nothing to foster any desire in them to learn.
.

I have to agree. I grew up knowing an "unschooler" although at the time I had no idea that would be what it was defined as. She pulled the oldest out in 1st grade, middle girl out in Kinder and the 2 younger kids never went to school. When I moved and started to lose touch with my friend we 6th or so grade. My friend had never progressed beyond a 1st grade level in her reading or writing abilities and we struggled to keep in touch as she couldn't really read or write so my letters to her were impossible for her to read and she couldn't write to me at all.

Mother did nothing at all to foster or encourage learning and the kids really suffered. I to this day wonder what ever became of my friend as she was so so far behind (I can remember trying to teach her my spelling words and sharing my math worksheet info and so on with her to try to help..it was the best I could think of as a child) and how she ever could have moved forward in the world. How do you get a job if you can't read or properly fill out the application? My hopes for her are that she managed to grow and learn despite what her Mom was doing (Dad hated Mom's approach but caved to Mom constantly. When I moved Dad had renewed his campaign for the older kids to return to school but I don't know what ever came of it and how that would have worked as she would have been entering 6-7th grade unable to read and write).

I personally don't get "unschooling" at all (I am sure I am terribly biased based on what I saw as a kid).

 

[pigletgirl]

I think the total concept is absurd. How is "unschooling" them going to prepare them for the real world? Sounds like lazy parenting to me.

 

[tink_lover]

I posted something about unschooling a couple of years ago (if my memory is right). At that time, it was new to me, but unfortunately, I have a family member doing this. It is sad. The two younger girls can't read (8 and 10). The mom travels a lot so the kids go camping with her a ton. I believe there is a strong connection with unschooling and a sort of hippy back-to-nature vibe. Oldest kid wanted to go to college, but had no transcripts, GED or whatever would be needed for application. There is a HUGE difference between home schooling and this. I have to agree with many that it is just lazy parenting or no parenting.

 

[lemondog]

I honestly have never heard of un-schooling until I opened this thread, but I find it incredibly sad. I agree with those who feel that having a 9 year old who cannot read because he is not taught (by either a teacher or parent) borders on child abuse. And I agree with another poster....the child probably feels reading is "dumb" because he is embarrassed that he can't.

Shame on your friend. She is not doing those children any favors AT ALL and hopefully the husband will step in and get serious. If I were her spouse I would file for divorce AND full custody of those kids. I don't know of too many judges who would look kindly upon un-schooling when you have a 9yo that can't even read.

 

["Got Disney"]

Iv seen a few documentaries on this and in some of the documentaries they started showing kids unschooled starting at a youn age than up to teenage years....the teenagers were useless human beings and very rude...just like how you would think they would be being unschooled...

In one documentary there were 3boys and 2were teens....around like 18 and 16...neither could hardly read or write and could care less...they ran the house..their parents were older but were hippies still....

What I don't get is why don't these parents just homeschooling and add in some unschooling with it...I know they don't agree with traditional schooling...

Your friend is involved taking them here and there so I don't think it is like some parents that do this because they are to lazy to homeschooling..

Would she really rather end her marriage over this? And not compromise with her husband?

Letting her kids be illiterate is not helping her children...she should at the least teach them phonics...and how to write...and as for hearing anything positive on this I have not....sorry

 

[Aisling]

After being hit with a ton of bricks posts about reporting her, I took a breather and decided to just show her this thread. If it scares her half as much as it is scaring me, she'll do some thinking. It never even occurred to me that people would be wanting to report her to the authorities. I was looking for some hard criticism of the thing to show her. I had no idea it could be so serious as someone reporting her.

Thank you for your posts. Leaving the thread now.

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

After being hit with a ton of bricks posts about reporting her, I took a breather and decided to just show her this thread. If it scares her half as much as it is scaring me, she'll do some thinking. It never even occurred to me that people would be wanting to report her to the authorities. I was looking for some hard criticism of the thing to show her. I had no idea it could be so serious as someone reporting her.

Thank you for your posts. Leaving the thread now.

I think that is the pOint.

Even veteran homeshoolers such as myself find issues with what she is NOT doing.

Humans need 2 basic skills--reading and basic math.

If her child could learn to read--then his unschooling can take off. He can pick and choose what he wants to study or learn how to do. That is how my unschooling peers can be successful, learning not just by doing, but reading also.

As another said---keeping him illiterate does him no favors.

I would personally not choose unschooling as I need structure and a map of our homeschool plan, but I don't begrudge those who do.

If she wants to unschool--she needs to look at people who are actually successful at it and not some group that let's children be unparented. Does her child have to go to Harvard? No...but good gravy, unless she plans on supporting him for the rest of her life--he will need to read.

I had a friend who had a child who could not read until about 9. Nothing worked, he just wasn't interested. But she still read aloud to him. Heck, I still read aloud to my 6th grader. It actually helps language skills because the child can be exposed to material they may not be ready to absorb if they were reading it on their own. My friend just continued reading to her son. No way would she have accepted him declining her offer. When he did finally read--she found little issues with his abilities.

Sidenote, there is research that does show that boys may not be ready as girls would be. But that isn't an excuse to drop the matter entirely. She still needs to read to him.

I wonder if she let's her kids not do chores. While certainly her choice, it would tell me that she just doesn't like to tell her kids what to do. That is unschooling defiance and irresponsibility. The talent of unschooling is making sure the child desires to learn something other than just being lazy.

Parents like her is why some states have much more harsh homeschoolIng laws than necessary and one of the reasons we chose VA over MD. I don't mind minimal oversight, but I have no desire to document clock hours or attendance days especially since our curriculum is 4 weeks shorter than the standard curriculums.

 

[poohbear227]

Would this school be considered "unschooling" ?? I have heard that it has a high success rate:

http://www.sudval.org/

 

[usd2bmd]

I must be living under a rock...until I opened this thread I had never heard of "un-schooling". I am extremely confused. Even if you are home schooling your kids, don't they ahve to stillt ake the state standardized tests, to be sure they are keeping up with their peers. If this is true, then wouldn't the "un-schoolers" have to take the same tests. I would think that if the state comes in and tests these kids and sees that they can't read to take the tests that they would have to step in and force the parents to make changes.
Children need boundaries and rules, so they know what is and isn't acceptable behavior in every day society. If it isn't taught to them, it will not JUST COME to them.. I just don't agree that this will develope them into productive members of society. It may develope them into lazy young people and lazy adults who can't support themselves.

And to the poster who asked if they still need ditch diggers... I have a friend who is a ditch digger, and he works harder than most people I know and makes a fairly decent living, AND he can read and write (which he needed to be able to do to get the job) This country still needs blue collar workers, because there are plently of blue collar jobs that go unfilled every year. But these jobs are not for "stupid People".

 

[DisneyBamaFan]

...And to the poster who asked if they still need ditch diggers... I have a friend who is a ditch digger, and he works harder than most people I know and makes a fairly decent living, AND he can read and write (which he needed to be able to do to get the job) This country still needs blue collar workers, because there are plently of blue collar jobs that go unfilled every year. But these jobs are not for "stupid People"...

Amen.

 

[rwdavis2]

She reads to them every day, they go to the library and the kids choose the books, but the oldest isn't interested in even being read to anymore. He says it's "dumb". I've asked him doesn't he want to learn to read so that he can read the instructions on his erector sets etc, and he says they come with picture instructions.

She's a good mom in that she gives them tons of attention, but when they want to watch TV for hours all day and draw, she backs off because they need to do what they need to do.

What does "dumb" mean to the child ? Does it mean that he has tried and failed ? Is he embarrassed that he cannot read ?

When reading about unschooling it the schooling should be student led, it did not say that the child could not be taught something he is interested in. How do they cope with the reading on video games ?

She is NOT a good mother. Good parents do wat they can to make sure their children learn (are they?), have manners (does not sound like it), and make sure the kids are not a burden to the rest of us because they will be uneducated and unemplyable.

Parents should neve be their childrens' friends. Someone has to be the adult and it sounds like the father is finally getting a grip.
BD

 

["Got Disney"]

Would this school be considered "unschooling" ?? I have heard that it has a high success rate:

http://www.sudval.org/

I don't know what the statistics are for this school....how many struggle and don't succeed to those that do...how any move on to college compared to how many don't...can't find any info on this except from the school and parents itself...

Also this is a school .....that unschools...with other students that are involved...a student can see kids learning to read and write and want to learn it....they have teachers to help them with it if they need it....

It is not 2children learning on there own in their own house with no one to motivate them to want to read....

This school also charges a lot of money....it may not be a traditional school but it is a school non the less.....this school also has rules....the OP friend has no rules at all and let's their children run the show....

I see a big difference between the two.

 

[DebIreland]

I've been looking for personal stories of unschooling gone bad to show her it may not be all that she thinks it is. I can't find any.

You have an example of unschooling gone bad right there with your friend. A 9 year old who can't read, can't understand a sign for the men's toilets, can't write a letter or type an email, can't read a book and partake of a treasure trove of wonderful books that have been written through the ages, can't read a bank slip or even read the titles on toy boxes; can't read a street sign. That's tragic and it shows how badly it's all gone wrong already.

Honestly if my parents had never taught me to read (or sent me to school to learn to read) I would have turned my back on them as soon as I was old enough to walk out of home and never looked back. How can she deny her own children the joy of reading? Has she got some sick desire to keep them shut off from the rest of society by limiting their communication skills?

My mother's best friend teaches literacy classes to adults. It is so unbelievably difficult for teenagers and adults to learn to read. It takes a long long time and is very frustrating. Your friend's son is already approaching the pre-teen stage. Another couple of years and he'll be in situations where his inability to read will be so awkward and downright dangerous. Stupid moronic parents.

 

[horseshowmom]

I respect a parent's rights to teach their children in whatever way they wish, but in a society in which we are forced to support those who cannot support themselves, I would hope that the government has at least some minimum standard that the parents have to sustain.

We need blue collared workers in America as much as white collared workers, but keeping any job requires a work ethic - and (generally) an ability to read and write at least at a fundamental level.

Yes, and generally it requires doing what you're told. I tell students in school that while children sometimes like to think that they can't wait until they're all grown up and nobody can tell them what to do anymore, the overwhelming majority of humans will always have someone in authority over them in a work environment.

As a former homeschooler (daughter is grown now), I am hesitant to say anything negative because I have heard ad nauseum all the negative and often incorrect assumptions about homeschooling. However, there is no way that I could rear my child in an environment where they viewed themselves as being in charge. That's not their place in a family. Further, my involvement with homeschooling was to provide my child with the best possible education. This whole thing makes me very nervous (open admission here that I tend to be a structured individual).

ETA: I will add here that if her husband is as fed up and dissatisfied as you say he is (and I know that mine would be) and if he should decide to file for divorce, she is probably going to be in big trouble. Regardless of whether she is or not, in court she more than likely will be seen as a parent who is irresponsible, and there's a strong chance he will be given custody. Can you imagine the chaos and stress when they enter a school setting?

 

[Queen2PrincessG]

A close friend is unschooling her children, ages 1, 7 and 9. They're doing Radical Unschooling, which means it goes beyond academics and is a general lifestyle where the children do whatever they want and learn from their experiences through that freedom. The 7 and 9 year olds can't read at all and my friend doesn't believe in teaching, that when they;re ready, they'll pick it up. Her husband is totally against this and it's ruining their marriage. He says she's creating monsters by allowing the children to live without rules and discipline. She says this is the best way to raise kids to be free-thinkers.

Have any here been unschoolers and then saw it was a mistake as your children got older? All we hear her say is that those kind of children are better adults. She has no proof,though, except from all the reading she's done on Radical Unschooling websites. I'd like to show her the other side, the negative side. I respect her and don't belittle her choice, but I'd like to discuss both sides with her when we talk about it, which is very often, as it's the focal point of her life.

Anyone?

Sadly you will never find someone that will admit it failed. However if you are truly concerned call child and family services. Do the right thing by the kids.

 

[knitster]

Even if you are home schooling your kids, don't they ahve to stillt ake the state standardized tests, to be sure they are keeping up with their peers.

No, this is a common misconception about homeschooling. In some states, like Texas (hallelujah!), homeschoolers are not required to report anything to anyone and are not required to take any standardized tests.

Homeschooling laws vary from state to state - some states being very controlling and some being completely hands off. We, as a homeschooling family, would never chose to live anywhere but a hands off state.

 

[DisneyBamaFan]

No, this is a common misconception about homeschooling. In some states, like Texas (hallelujah!), homeschoolers are not required to report anything to anyone and are not required to take any standardized tests...

Question - if you knew of a "homeschooling" parent who was not teaching their children at all, what would be your options if the state doesn't regulate it in any way?

 

[declansdad]

I admire her for her efforts, and it was sort of working when the kids were smaller, but now it looks like the kids just want to laze around with the brief ooh blue whales are cool, what do they eat" kind of thing. She says in their own time they'll learn what they personally NEED to learn and not what society wants them to learn. She sounds kooky, but she's not, really. She does get them excited about some really cool programs on National Geographic channel, but the kids can't do multiplication. (YET, she says.)

There is nothing to admire in this situation. She has created an environment that is terrible and allows her kids to run the show. Not only is she creating kids that will have little chance for success in life, she is destroying her marriage. Her husband also has to take some responsibility for this travesty as well.