Any Guys Out There ?

[Hercules10]

Is it time to start recording DID Man Rules?

Think they'll listen???


Please note.. these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!

1. Men are NOT mind readers.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down.You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a Problem. See a doctor.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.

1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't Expect us to act like soap opera guys.

1. If you think you're fat, You probably are. Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

1. You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it done.
Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really.

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as SEX, CARS, the shotgun formation, or BASKETBALL.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes

1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!

 

[BunsenH]

Good list Herc, but I was thinking more specific to Disney (I corrected my post from DID to DIS.)

For example, "Men will only ride Small World once every 2 years, and only after bribery."

 

[Amity 3]

if the women don't leave, I'm going to perform a Dutch Oven.

 

[Hercules10]

For example, "Men will only ride Small World once every 2 years, and only after bribery."

Gotcha...

Howz about a time (and dollar) limit on shopping Main Street?

 

[Cantw8]

if the women don't leave, I'm going to perform a Dutch Oven.

that's only funny once

 

[marc1477]

This is the perfect list!

Think they'll listen???




Please note.. these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!

1. Men are NOT mind readers.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down.You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a Problem. See a doctor.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.

1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't Expect us to act like soap opera guys.

1. If you think you're fat, You probably are. Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

1. You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it done.
Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really.

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as SEX, CARS, the shotgun formation, or BASKETBALL.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes

1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!

 

[Monte Cristo]

*hands you a six-pack and some money for the strip joint*

Enjoy!

Awesome, now that's my kind of wife! Are you married?

j/k of course.


Another man checking in.

 

[Amity 3]

if you know how to fold a two dollar bill correctly, it'll look like a twenty. you'll be be a star at your local strip club for the first set.

 

[apirateslifeforme]

Okay, guys, here's one thing I don't understand, so I know your confusion on this issue...

I walk in to the ladies room at work, and there are half of my coworkers, having a party in there. Seriously, they're all just standing there chit-chatting and gossiping. I won't even mention the cloud of hairspray that I walk into. Or the thousands of lotions and perfumes and soaps littering the counter.

I don't know...I go in, do my business, and get out of there. Maybe that's why the women here aren't too fond of me

Of course, that said, I'm not like the guys who you see wandering into the men's room with a newspaper or magazine in their hand...

 

[ryanmilla]

Another manly man signing in here.

Is "manly man" and the "Disboards" and oxymoron?

 

[Hercules10]

Of course, that said, I'm not like the guys who you see wandering into the men's room with a newspaper or magazine in their hand...

It's the best place to read. If the wife bugs me about anything I just gas her out and in there it's "legal" to do that.

 

[Towncrier]

I am most definitely the Disney nut in our household. My DW registered as the 40,000th DISer and posted exactly once. My DD used to post all the time on the Teen Board, but I think that she has gone on to other things. DS was never interested in anything that has to do with the DISboards. All of us are Disney fans. I'm just the only one who hangs around here.

 

[Amity 3]

It's the best place to read. If the wife bugs me about anything I just gas her out and in there it's "legal" to do that.

a Gameboy DS beats reading. Mario Kart on the grump stump is manly behavior at it's best.

 

[WIcruizer]

Regarding edcrbnsoul's 'photo':

While many men strive for the six-pack abs, I aim higher and proudly maintain my quarter-keg abs.

Is it time to start recording DIS Man Rules?

You mean like DIS Man LAWS? Like the Miller Lite commercials?

1) We shall not complain, pout, or whine when DW asks to go on "It's a Samll World"

2) While walking down Main Street, we shall not utter the words "wow...look at HER"

3) For DH with children, especially small children along, we shall not attempt to "drink around the world and back again" at Epcot.

Any others?

 

[L107ANGEL]

Another manly man signing in here.

Is "manly man" and the "Disboards" and oxymoron?

Yes

 

[officer tigger]

another male checking in. I am also the one in the family that plans the trip from start to finish.

Man rule: Don't let your wife catch you staring at "Jasmine" during the princess breakfast.

 

[BunsenH]

You mean like DIS Man LAWS? Like the Miller Lite commercials?

1) We shall not complain, pout, or whine when DW asks to go on "It's a Samll World"

2) While walking down Main Street, we shall not utter the words "wow...look at HER"

3) For DH with children, especially small children along, we shall not attempt to "drink around the world and back again" at Epcot.

Any others?

WIcruizer,

Those sound like laws FOR men, not laws BY men.

Guys, please help me drag WIcruzier back over from the dark side.

 

[StanH]

There are at least two of us! My entire family loves Disney, but I am the planner in the family so I am the one who spends much of his free time looking for tips to make the next trip even better.

Ditto. That's me too.

 

[AKLRULZ]

Man rule: Don't let your wife catch you staring at "Jasmine" during the princess breakfast.

Busted on that one!

Another guy checking in.

 

[StanH]

another male checking in. I am also the one in the family that plans the trip from start to finish.

Man rule: Don't let your wife catch you staring at "Jasmine" during the princess breakfast.

Oops. Too late...My daughter caught me too. Her dirty look was worse than my wifes!