Anniversary party invitation no kids

[DopeyDame]

Thanks for the suggestions. I will NOT be providing a babysitter for the night. It's only this one cousin that has kids (my other 1st cousins are all in their 20s and not married). I was thinking of wording the invitation "Together with their children and grandchildren, Mr. & Mrs. Blah Blah invite your to celebrate their 50th wedding anniversary". Then at the bottom put Adults only please. Like I said it's really just the one cousin who this would apply to.

No no no no no. that will just totally confuse the issue, and the cousins will surely think that their kids can come since the grandchildren will be there.
Just keep it simple.

 

[Hannathy]

See even that Hannathy I have a problem with.

You have kids and now you get mad because your kids are not invited to an Adults event.

Why does some one giving a party now have to factor in the emotional state of every cousin and nephew.

I took it that they were inviting everyone but no kids. When did it start that everyone has to love kids or want them at a party.

Seriously, not being snarky. Some events children cannot attend. I mean has it gotten to a point where if everyone doesn't love our little snowflakes we no longer want to be related?

And this is an adult we're dealing with???

Normally I would agree with you 100% But this is a family party that all the relatives are being invited to and there are only 2 kids in the whole family that are being excluded. seems a bit harsh, and I"m sure the grandparents of the said 2 children will feel the same way. Now if they were neighbors or friends I can see it no problem. Or if this were a wedding and we were talking a bunch of kids I could see it but we aren't we are talking only 2 kids to a family thing. I have seen family arguments and hard feelings that last decades over smaller things.

All I'm saying is, is the OP ready to deal with family hard feelings possibly for a long time over 2 kids? That is all.

 

[msjprincess]

Normally I would agree with you 100% But this is a family party that all the relatives are being invited to and there are only 2 kids in the whole family that are being excluded. seems a bit harsh, and I"m sure the grandparents of the said 2 children will feel the same way. Now if they were neighbors or friends I can see it no problem. Or if this were a wedding and we were talking a bunch of kids I could see it but we aren't we are talking only 2 kids to a family thing. I have seen family arguments and hard feelings that last decades over smaller things.

All I'm saying is, is the OP ready to deal with family hard feelings possibly for a long time over 2 kids? That is all.

If they can't understand why the couple would only want their own grandchildren there and not the children of a niece or nephew that's their problem. It's not the same relationship to the the couple. It doesn't matter if it's 2 kids or 20 kids they only want their grandchildren there.

If I had a relative get mad at me for something similar I would say good riddance.

 

[HM]

OP, does the fact that this party is adult only (accept for the grandkids) actually exclude other children besides the aforementioned two bratty kids? Posters seem to be under the impression that the cousins would take this as an affront to their two kids (being the only ones left out). But, if they aren't the only ones, then that couldn't really be the case, right?

 

[Luvchefmic]

Normally I would agree with you 100% But this is a family party that all the relatives are being invited to and there are only 2 kids in the whole family that are being excluded. seems a bit harsh, and I"m sure the grandparents of the said 2 children will feel the same way. Now if they were neighbors or friends I can see it no problem. Or if this were a wedding and we were talking a bunch of kids I could see it but we aren't we are talking only 2 kids to a family thing. I have seen family arguments and hard feelings that last decades over smaller things.

All I'm saying is, is the OP ready to deal with family hard feelings possibly for a long time over 2 kids? That is all.[/QUOTE]

OP and her brother are hosting her parents 50th anniversary party Let's not forget that it is their parents party and their parents wishes A little handwritten note on the inside of the invitations " Mom and Dad are really looking forward to celebrating their special anniversary with you They have requested adults only and know everyone will understand"

Done...let the chips fall where they may who cares Any future grumblings about it, " This is what my parents requested" end of story

 

[BadgerGirl84]

Normally I would agree with you 100% But this is a family party that all the relatives are being invited to and there are only 2 kids in the whole family that are being excluded. seems a bit harsh, and I"m sure the grandparents of the said 2 children will feel the same way. Now if they were neighbors or friends I can see it no problem. Or if this were a wedding and we were talking a bunch of kids I could see it but we aren't we are talking only 2 kids to a family thing. I have seen family arguments and hard feelings that last decades over smaller things.

All I'm saying is, is the OP ready to deal with family hard feelings possibly for a long time over 2 kids? That is all.

I agree 100%.

For any party (birthday, wedding, anniversary), the host gets to choose the guest list--end of story. It's up to those invited to determine if they want to attend or not.

The term "adults only party" really does not apply to this anniversary party as there will be many children there--just not the two labeled as "bratty." The hots wants to pick and choose which specific children are invited and still use the term "adults only." Like Hannathy said, I would definitely be prepared for hurt feelings and maybe worse by doing this.

I know I would have my feelings hurt if my child was not invited to an event but others were--but then again, I have a little angel who is very well behaved and adored by all.

 

[EMom]

My siblings and I are giving my parents a 50th wedding anniversary party. My parents are coming up with the guest list. They have specifically said they don't want any kids there except their 7 grandchildren (the youngest is my 11 year old). Do I put on the invitation no children or adults only or something like that. My one concern is a cousin who goes nowhere without his two (misbehaved) children. We know we have to invite him and his wife but do not want his kids there. I don't really care if he comes or not to be honest.
Suggestions?

Hannathy, unless the OP cleared it up in another post, I didn't get that the only two children affected were the cousin's. What I took from her post was that anyone else with kids would respect the fact that kids weren't invited and not get in a snit. The cousin was the only one who would pitch a fit, as cousin takes those kids everywhere.

OP, do what you have to do to make it plain his ill behaved kids are not invited. This sounds like the sort who would show up with the kids and put you on the spot. A simple "Adults Only" may not suffice. Maybe you could enclose a personal note that says, "I know you usually bring Helter and Skelter along, and since children are not invited to this event, we will understand completely if you and your wife are unable to attend."

 

[rodeo65]

Used to be children were left home and it was a nice night out for the parents. Now the people need to show their children off I guess, it's so cute when they run around and scream. Free range children we call them.

Love that!!

Did I misread the OP. I thought the only children invited were the couple's grandchildren.

I have been to numerous events where the only children invited were close relatives of the host. I have never been insulted because they my kids weren't invited.

OP said the only children invited were the grandchildren, but also said that only the cousin's family has children that would be affected. Regardless, it is still the couple's choice. Cousin will just have to deal.

At my parent's 50th they invited only their grandchildren. Maybe because at that point there were only three of them, one being three weeks old it didn't seem like there were kids running all over. My own kids were 8 & 9 and were given jobs; handing out the wedding cake my mom had made up for example so they were busy and not disruptive. No one else kid crashed that event.

I think the main problem is that you are going to have to figure out what you will do IF said cousins choose to ignore the "Adults only" invite and bring their kids.

I agree that this should be considered. We stated Adults Only for our wedding but of course there was one couple (wife) that refused to leave their 6 month and three year old children at home. They sat at the back of the church. Which didn't help. I have a lovely reminder of that on my wedding video with the screaming baby through the ceremony. She skipped the reception, though, I believe at her husband's insistence. And yes, they have long since divorced.

Some people are just rude on this topic and as PPs have mentioned, they are usually the ones that have the unruliest kids and where the need to actually include the Adults Only memo comes from.

 

[eliza61]

Normally I would agree with you 100% But this is a family party that all the relatives are being invited to and there are only 2 kids in the whole family that are being excluded. seems a bit harsh, and I"m sure the grandparents of the said 2 children will feel the same way. Now if they were neighbors or friends I can see it no problem. Or if this were a wedding and we were talking a bunch of kids I could see it but we aren't we are talking only 2 kids to a family thing. I have seen family arguments and hard feelings that last decades over smaller things.

All I'm saying is, is the OP ready to deal with family hard feelings possibly for a long time over 2 kids? That is all.

Actually I think the blanket order to exclude all children is the way to go. this way let's say grandmom comes back and says "hey, why can't Arthur and Annie" come? Answer could be a simple, "we're not having anyone under 18".

This way you don't make it personal.

LOL, with a wedding it's easy, just blame it on the opposing family.

My wedding reception was an adult affair. It was pretty cut and dry. no kids.

What's really funny is that most of the adults that I know are happy when they get an adults only invite. We so rarely get a chance to go out with just adults.

 

[Nancyg56]

We have a family member getting married in June fighting this battle right now. She has a cousin with two (sorry to say bratty) kids who is literally making the kids not being invited into a family war. The bride and her mom have called and tried to talk some sense into this woman, and so far, it's not working.

So, if I were you, I'd have a backup plan if they just plan on coming and bringing their kids anyways. It seems like for those kind of people, no matter what you write on the invite, they're probably going to ignore it...

Terri

My DD had this problem when she got married. DSIL had some cousins who were very badly behaved so they decided no kids under some age (I forget what cutoff was). It was a deliberate age that included DD's cousins, but excluded the fresh kids. Holy Smokes! What an uproar! DH and I had offered to pay for everyone, offered to patrol the brats, etc, but DD and DSIL wanted no part of it becasue those kids had a track record. There was a lot of backlash, including accusing DH and I of refusing to have DSIL's family. To this day, DSIL said he is not sorry, and would do the same thing all over again, he has seen the wreckage left behind when other family members caved.

Used to be children were left home and it was a nice night out for the parents. Now the people need to show their children off I guess, it's so cute when they run around and scream. Free range children we call them.

LOL, with a wedding it's easy, just blame it on the opposing family.

This causes a lot of hard feeling down the line when families need to get together for celebrations,. Trust me, DD has been married for 12 years adn I still hear about the age limit at her wedding.

OP- stick to your guns, Your parents have every right to enjoy their celebration in any way they want. People who love them will understand.

 

[leebee]

Hannathy, unless the OP cleared it up in another post, I didn't get that the only two children affected were the cousin's. What I took from her post was that anyone else with kids would respect the fact that kids weren't invited and not get in a snit. The cousin was the only one who would pitch a fit, as cousin takes those kids everywhere.

OP, do what you have to do to make it plain his ill behaved kids are not invited. This sounds like the sort who would show up with the kids and put you on the spot. A simple "Adults Only" may not suffice. Maybe you could enclose a personal note that says, "I know you usually bring Helter and Skelter along, and since children are not invited to this event, we will understand completely if you and your wife are unable to attend."

 

[JanaDee]

I agree 100%.

For any party (birthday, wedding, anniversary), the host gets to choose the guest list--end of story. It's up to those invited to determine if they want to attend or not.

Agreed. I have a birthday party coming up at the end of the summer, and due to the venue, we are only able to invite a limited number of people.

I choose my guest list and yup, I excluded people, on purpose. It is my birthday and I get to choose who I want to celebrate with.

OP, I don't know if this will work, but what DH did was write "you will receive X number of tickets" so it was clear who was invited.

Otherwise, "ADULTS ONLY" is probably the best option.

 

[design_mom]

Hannathy, unless the OP cleared it up in another post, I didn't get that the only two children affected were the cousin's. What I took from her post was that anyone else with kids would respect the fact that kids weren't invited and not get in a snit. The cousin was the only one who would pitch a fit, as cousin takes those kids everywhere.

OP, do what you have to do to make it plain his ill behaved kids are not invited. This sounds like the sort who would show up with the kids and put you on the spot. A simple "Adults Only" may not suffice. Maybe you could enclose a personal note that says, "I know you usually bring Helter and Skelter along, and since children are not invited to this event, we will understand completely if you and your wife are unable to attend."

Actually, I think she did clear it up that only the cousin's children are being excluded. The anniversary couple's grandchildren are included (so it's not really "Adults only") and nobody else has kids:

Thanks for the suggestions. I will NOT be providing a babysitter for the night. It's only this one cousin that has kids (my other 1st cousins are all in their 20s and not married). I was thinking of wording the invitation "Together with their children and grandchildren, Mr. & Mrs. Blah Blah invite your to celebrate their 50th wedding anniversary". Then at the bottom put Adults only please. Like I said it's really just the one cousin who this would apply to.

The party hosts have every right to determine their guest lists, but this sounds like a mess. The invitation will say "Adults only" but when guests arrive it obviously won't be Adults Only because the grandchildren will be there. If the grandkids were there, but a lot of other kids weren't invited, you could probably explain it as an exception/special request from the couple... but I really don't see how this can be viewed as anything but "we invited the entire family except your two kids." I probably wouldn't blame them if their feelings were hurt. You're free to do it, of course, if that's the host's wishes... but those kids must really be little devils if it's "worth it" to exclude them.

 

[U2_rocks!]

The party hosts have every right to determine their guest lists, but this sounds like a mess. The invitation will say "Adults only" but when guests arrive it obviously won't be Adults Only because the grandchildren will be there. If the grandkids were there, but a lot of other kids weren't invited, you could probably explain it as an exception/special request from the couple... but I really don't see how this can be viewed as anything but "we invited the entire family except your two kids." I probably wouldn't blame them if their feelings were hurt. You're free to do it, of course, if that's the host's wishes... but those kids must really be little devils if it's "worth it" to exclude them.

This is how I feel too. It's just not worth the drama to exclude these two kids unless it will be even more drama to include them! i.e. I would weigh the relative benefits of each option. If it would hurt the grandparents that much to have those 2 kids there (can't imagine why), or if you think you'll lose your damage deposit at the venue thanks to them and their rambunctiousness, then maybe exclude them. Otherwise there would probably be less drama to just invite them, and see if you can get the grandchildren to occupy them somewhere out of the way for the more boring parts of the evening.

 

[EMode]

I'm going to assume that these 2 kids are hell on wheels and that is what they aren't wanted at that party. If that is the case then its their parents who created any family drama when they didn't teach their kids about appropriate behavior.
I'd stick with the "adults only" written on the invite since you and your siblings are throwing the party, your kids are an extention of that and therefore aren't technically being invited Let your cousins have their fit, maybe someday they will realize why their kids are excluded.

 

[sunnyday123]

One family member did a kids-free wedding, and it was great. She was very careful with the wording, that didn't directly say no children, it was more along the lines of parents get a night out, with free babysitting.

She went out of her way to make up a special kids movie-night invitation for the kids. She hired two moms to babysit all the kids/cousins. They had a movie night with popcorn, snacks, slushies, etc.

I could easily see thing being arranged for your party. Either in a room within the facility or a location near-by.

Why does everyone have to be accomodated?? Adults only, means just that. Not, "Kids in the other room". Find a sitter or stay home. If someone has a temper tantrum, then they fall into the "Kids" category and shouldn't be there anyway.

 

[msjprincess]

Every wedding I have gone to as an adult has been adults only except for kids in the wedding party and the children/nieces/nephews of the couple. I have never heard of anyone being insulted because only some children were invited. And I think it's bizarre that an adult can not understand that someone would only want the children close to them invited.

If the children of other cousins were invited then I could understand feelings being hurt.

 

[Gumbo4x4]

Every wedding I have gone to as an adult has been adults only except for kids in the wedding party and the children/nieces/nephews of the couple. I have never heard of anyone being insulted because only some children were invited. And I think it's bizarre that an adult can not understand that someone would only want the children close to them invited.

If the children of other cousins were invited then I could understand feelings being hurt.

See, the problem starts when you expect illogical people to be logical

 

[Hannathy]

If the children of other cousins were invited then I could understand feelings being hurt.

But in essence they are, they are just older. That is where the problem lies. This is the only cousin still with younger kids from the way I read it . So everyone in the family is being invited except for 2. They are being singled out and told not to bring their family because they are younger.

There are only 2 kids! this isn't about not inviting 12 of them it is only 2 kids from 1 family. And not friends but family, also a big difference. I think it is going to cause hurt feelings for a long time over 2 kids. But that is IMO.

 

[Missy1961]

If the people who are hosting the party (and thereby paying for it) don't want those 2 kids there, then those kids shouldn't be invited. We've all seen it - those holy terrors who don't behave and their parents don't make sure they behave because they think the stuff their kids do is "cute". Even 2 of them can make the rest of the guests have less than a good time. And if their parents & others don't understand and their feelings get hurt, well, I'm sorry for their pain, but I don't want them at my party.

When my parents had their 50th Wedding Anniversary party, they did not invite the kids of their nieces and nephews, because there were so many of them. (I have 15 cousins on one side, and 22 on the other. Almost every single one of them is married, and they were all very fruitful and multiplied!) Well, one of my cousins doesn't go anywhere without her kids, and she replied for 4. My dad called her up and told her, sorry the kids were not invited, so she said "I won't be there either." My dad told her we'd miss her, and that was that. If her feelings were hurt, so be it.