Anniversary party invitation no kids

[Hannathy]

Did I misread the OP. I thought the only children invited were the couple's grandchildren.

I have been to numerous events where the only children invited were close relatives of the host. I have never been insulted because they my kids weren't invited.

In one of her responses she says it is only 1 family that has any kids that would be invited. That is why I said knowing family dynamics they are going to be insulted big time since they are the only ones with kids.

I wouldn't cause family issues over a couple kids. I"d just put them way in the back near the bathrooms

 

[yoopermom]

While I completely and totally agree with the fact that it's the host's perogative whether or not to invite children, I do have to say that when we went to weddings as children (back in the stone ages), we were expected to behave. I remember getting to dress fancy, having to sit quietly, getting to dance with my cousins, but being well enough behaved that if ANY family member had to speak to us, we knew there'd be trouble! I'm not saying that OP's event should be a "training ground" for what are obviously spoiled brats, but isn't it a shame that "good" kids have to pay the price?

Terri

 

[penn19]

Don't know much about it but can't the breast feeding mother use a pump and store some for the babysitter to feed from a bottle?

Oh, Art, you really didn't go there did you? I need to read further ahead in this thread because I have an idea it is now going to veer off topic.

 

[mombrontrent]

Don't know much about it but can't the breast feeding mother use a pump and store some for the babysitter to feed from a bottle?

Not always. Sometimes a breastfeeding baby will refuse a bottle. I know 2 out of 3 of my kids did. I am sure it's easier if you get a baby used to a bottle early on though. I never had more than an hour away from those two kids until they were over a year old.

 

[HM]

Not always. Sometimes a breastfeeding baby will refuse a bottle. I know 2 out of 3 of my kids did. I am sure it's easier if you get a baby used to a bottle early on though. I never had more than an hour away from those two kids until they were over a year old.

So to continue taking this off topic...
I agree that can be a big problem, and Pumping is not as easy as it seems and some moms have trouble doing it as well.

 

[Stacerita]

The only reason why I thought about putting that on there was so they wouldn't be surprised to see my kids and my brothers kids there. But you're right.

I would leave that wording out and just state "adults only". You don't want to confuse them and have them bring the kids. And if they see the grandkids there, so what. Not their party, not their call.

I have to say this and it is based on many years of dealing with family dynamics (and I also know your parents have the right to have the kind of party they want) But what it comes down to is there are only one set of kids you don't want there. You are inviting everyone in the family but a couple cousins. Will the hurt feelings and probably anger be worth not having a couple kids from 1 family there? This cousin is going to take it personal because they will know they are the only ones with kids and this cousins Parents -thinking your parents sibling? will probably also get their feathers ruffled. I don't know how harmonious the family relations are but this could cause a big upset since it is only relating to 1 family.

Just be ready for some hurt feelings and possibly long lasting negative effects.

Who cares? Not their party. The hosts decide no kids. If they get their feathers ruffled, too bad. Not everything in the world has to be made nice for others in case their feelings might get hurt. Seriously, its a party that the guests of honor only want their grandchild to attend. Not other children. If the parents have issue with that, tough. They can stay home with the kids.

 

[Stacerita]

In one of her responses she says it is only 1 family that has any kids that would be invited. That is why I said knowing family dynamics they are going to be insulted big time since they are the only ones with kids.

I wouldn't cause family issues over a couple kids. I"d just put them way in the back near the bathrooms

Why should the hosts have to accomodate children they really don't want there in the first place. Adults only is what they want, just because one family has kids and may or may not feel insulted that is just too bad.

 

[Planogirl]

I think that those who can't be apart from their children whatever the reason should just decline. That makes it simpler for everyone.

 

[LilyWDW]

Not always. Sometimes a breastfeeding baby will refuse a bottle. I know 2 out of 3 of my kids did. I am sure it's easier if you get a baby used to a bottle early on though. I never had more than an hour away from those two kids until they were over a year old.

But again, that is a decision that YOU as a parent made. No one else should be required to work everything around a parent that that makes that decision though. And expecting them to is just rude. (NOT saying that you ever acted like that mombrontrent, just saying it in reference to the earlier post that started this whole line).

 

[jcano]

I think the main problem is that you are going to have to figure out what you will do IF said cousins choose to ignore the "Adults only" invite and bring their kids.

 

[jodifla]

Yes, your party, so you can set the rules.

But then don't be surprised if your rules prevent people you'd really like to be there from coming as well. Or create hard feelings for years down the line, especially in the case of families.

 

[EmJay2001]

Not always. Sometimes a breastfeeding baby will refuse a bottle. I know 2 out of 3 of my kids did. I am sure it's easier if you get a baby used to a bottle early on though. I never had more than an hour away from those two kids until they were over a year old.

Yup, my dd refused a bottle. Screamed bloody murder while my DH tried and tried. I had spent a lot of money on a good pump, bottles and all the crap that goes with it. Did not bother with my second but my third took a bottle like a champ (found out the hard way at sick kids hospital).

My DSIL had a 3 month old at my wedding and I would not have dreamed of not having the babe there, did not even cross my mind. They are the parents responsibility and are not part of the cost at all, really, zero impact. Honestly, I don't even remember much about the babe being there. My DSIL was in my wedding party too.

 

[Hannathy]

Yes, your party, so you can set the rules.

But then don't be surprised if your rules prevent people you'd really like to be there from coming as well. Or create hard feelings for years down the line, especially in the case of families.

That's what I was saying especially since you are only talking about 2 kids and it is family. If it was a lot of kids it would be easier but when it is only 2. people will be offended. As long as you are OK with dealing with this for years over 2 kids then go for it.

 

[goofinoff]

Yup, my dd refused a bottle. Screamed bloody murder while my DH tried and tried. I had spent a lot of money on a good pump, bottles and all the crap that goes with it. Did not bother with my second but my third took a bottle like a champ (found out the hard way at sick kids hospital). My DSIL had a 3 month old at my wedding and I would not have dreamed of not having the babe there, did not even cross my mind. They are the parents responsibility and are not part of the cost at all, really, zero impact. Honestly, I don't even remember much about the babe being there. My DSIL was in my wedding party too.

How did this turn into a breast feeding debate?

Anyway, spoke to brother #1 and he agrees. Adults only. If cousin doesn't come he doesn't come.

 

[elphaba91]

It's your parents' party so they can have whomever they want! I would address the invitation clearly to the parents only, write 'adults only' (or maybe something a bit more polite, like, 'please note that this is an adult-only affair' or even something like 'we have reserved 2 seats for you') and then make sure you confirm numbers for the RSVP, either by getting them to send a reply card back with the number of attendees (you could even put '___ of 2 attending; ___ of 2 not attending') or, if over the phone, saying something like, 'so both you and Jane are coming?' or 'we're so pleased that you and Jane can make it'. If people still don't get it then you should at least have some warning and be able to talk to them.

 

[tinah159]

The bridesmaid made the decision to exclusively breastfeed. The bride shouldn't HAVE to accommodate her. I personally would never have even asked for accommodation or, if I did ask, I would not expect it at all.

OP, you can hire me (just feed me) and I will guard the door that night. If they show up with kids, I will turn them away. They can get upset with me. I don't care.

Exactly how I feel!

 

[Disney Doll]

One family member did a kids-free wedding, and it was great. She was very careful with the wording, that didn't directly say no children, it was more along the lines of parents get a night out, with free babysitting. She went out of her way to make up a special kids movie-night invitation for the kids. She hired two moms to babysit all the kids/cousins. They had a movie night with popcorn, snacks, slushies, etc. I could easily see thing being arranged for your party. Either in a room within the facility or a location near-by.

This is a really nice idea but invariably there will be the person who doesn't leave their kid with a stranger.

 

[chicagodisneyfan]

Yes, your party, so you can set the rules.

But then don't be surprised if your rules prevent people you'd really like to be there from coming as well. Or create hard feelings for years down the line, especially in the case of families.

Really? People hold grudges if their snowflake is not invited somewhere?!

 

[eliza61]

I have to say this and it is based on many years of dealing with family dynamics (and I also know your parents have the right to have the kind of party they want) But what it comes down to is there are only one set of kids you don't want there. You are inviting everyone in the family but a couple cousins. Will the hurt feelings and probably anger be worth not having a couple kids from 1 family there? This cousin is going to take it personal because they will know they are the only ones with kids and this cousins Parents -thinking your parents sibling? will probably also get their feathers ruffled.

I don't know how harmonious the family relations are but this could cause a big upset since it is only relating to 1 family.

Just be ready for some hurt feelings and possibly long lasting negative effects.

See even that Hannathy I have a problem with.

You have kids and now you get mad because your kids are not invited to an Adults event.

Why does some one giving a party now have to factor in the emotional state of every cousin and nephew.

I took it that they were inviting everyone but no kids. When did it start that everyone has to love kids or want them at a party.

Seriously, not being snarky. Some events children cannot attend. I mean has it gotten to a point where if everyone doesn't love our little snowflakes we no longer want to be related?

And this is an adult we're dealing with???

 

[Hrhpd]

I would put on the invite:

Adults only
Adult entertainment is planned

Let their imaginations go wild.

(a big band for ballroom dancing is adult entertainment )