Anniversary party invitation no kids

[DopeyDame]

But in essence they are, they are just older. That is where the problem lies. This is the only cousin still with younger kids from the way I read it . So everyone in the family is being invited except for 2. They are being singled out and told not to bring their family because they are younger.

There are only 2 kids! this isn't about not inviting 12 of them it is only 2 kids from 1 family. And not friends but family, also a big difference. I think it is going to cause hurt feelings for a long time over 2 kids. But that is IMO.

Hannathy, I think you actually changed my mind on this. At first I was in the "adults only, move on" camp... I was picturing a large party with lots of people whose kids weren't invited.
But if it really is JUST those two kids who would be excluded... yeah, there's no way that the parents won't feel like the kids were left out intentionally, and that's going to sting. Might be worth the sting and the damage to the relationship depending on family issues in general, but it's understandable if the cousins are hurt to be singled out like that.

 

[okeydokey]

But in essence they are, they are just older. That is where the problem lies. This is the only cousin still with younger kids from the way I read it . So everyone in the family is being invited except for 2. They are being singled out and told not to bring their family because they are younger.

There are only 2 kids! this isn't about not inviting 12 of them it is only 2 kids from 1 family. And not friends but family, also a big difference. I think it is going to cause hurt feelings for a long time over 2 kids. But that is IMO.

Not just because they are younger, but because they do not behave. Maybe the parents will open their eyes about their childrens' behavior if they are not invited, but I kind of doubt it.

There is also a big difference between inviting your own grandchildren and inviting the children of a niece.

 

[EMode]

But in essence they are, they are just older. That is where the problem lies. This is the only cousin still with younger kids from the way I read it . So everyone in the family is being invited except for 2. They are being singled out and told not to bring their family because they are younger.

There are only 2 kids! this isn't about not inviting 12 of them it is only 2 kids from 1 family. And not friends but family, also a big difference. I think it is going to cause hurt feelings for a long time over 2 kids. But that is IMO.

The OP said the kids were misbehaved so I don't think it has anything to do with their ages.
I don't doubt it will cause hurt feelings but IMO you can't be hurt or complain about your kids not being welcomed somewhere if you as a parent don't make sure they behave themselves.

 

[msjprincess]

But in essence they are, they are just older. That is where the problem lies. This is the only cousin still with younger kids from the way I read it . So everyone in the family is being invited except for 2. They are being singled out and told not to bring their family because they are younger.

There are only 2 kids! this isn't about not inviting 12 of them it is only 2 kids from 1 family. And not friends but family, also a big difference. I think it is going to cause hurt feelings for a long time over 2 kids. But that is IMO.

No, that isn't what she said. Her other cousins don't have kids

Thanks for the suggestions. I will NOT be providing a babysitter for the night. It's only this one cousin that has kids (my other 1st cousins are all in their 20s and not married). I was thinking of wording the invitation "Together with their children and grandchildren, Mr. & Mrs. Blah Blah invite your to celebrate their 50th wedding anniversary". Then at the bottom put Adults only please. Like I said it's really just the one cousin who this would apply to.

 

[FayeW]

But again, that is a decision that YOU as a parent made. No one else should be required to work everything around a parent that that makes that decision though. And expecting them to is just rude. (NOT saying that you ever acted like that mombrontrent, just saying it in reference to the earlier post that started this whole line).

Completely disagree. The bride asked a pregnant woman she barely knew to go to trouble and expense to be part of her bridal party, and then refused to accommodate her to feed her newborn? Outrageous. Not surprised this selfish bride will soon find herself divorced.

 

[U2_rocks!]

Completely disagree. The bride asked a pregnant woman she barely knew to go to trouble and expense to be part of her bridal party, and then refused to accommodate her to feed her newborn? Outrageous. Not surprised this selfish bride will soon find herself divorced.

 

[EMode]

Completely disagree. The bride asked a pregnant woman she barely knew to go to trouble and expense to be part of her bridal party, and then refused to accommodate her to feed her newborn? Outrageous. Not surprised this selfish bride will soon find herself divorced.

Why would a pregnant woman even consider taking on the trouble and expense of being in a wedding of someone she barely knew. She knew she would be nursing did she ask about arrangements and was told no. Easy peasy then you say you can't be in the wedding.
The bride can ask, and you can turn down the invitation. If you are going to hold a grudge and whine about what wasn't done for you then you are the one who is acting selfish and entitled.

I was in my best friends wedding 6 weeks after I gave birth, I was nursing there were no arrangements made and I managed just fine. So did the other bridesmaid who was nursing her 4 month old. Its not really that big of a deal.

 

[DWGal210]

Why would a pregnant woman even consider taking on the trouble and expense of being in a wedding of someone she barely knew. She knew she would be nursing did she ask about arrangements and was told no. Easy peasy then you say you can't be in the wedding.
The bride can ask, and you can turn down the invitation. If you are going to hold a grudge and whine about what wasn't done for you then you are the one who is acting selfish and entitled.

I was in my best friends wedding 6 weeks after I gave birth, I was nursing there were no arrangements made and I managed just fine. So did the other bridesmaid who was nursing her 4 month old. Its not really that big of a deal.

It was my friend and I can guarantee you, we talked about it once. She told me the story over dinner one night, and that was it. We haven't talked about it since. She certainly didn't whine.

 

[EMode]

It was my friend and I can guarantee you, we talked about it once. She told me the story over dinner one night, and that was it. We haven't talked about it since. She certainly didn't whine.

That was in response to the pp who was calling the bride selfish, it was meant in a general way. I'm sure I read your post but I don't remember anything about it so no need to take it personal, or take it personal for your friend.

 

[DWGal210]

That was in response to the pp who was calling the bride selfish, it was meant in a general way. I'm sure I read your post but I don't remember anything about it so no need to take it personal, or take it personal for your friend.

Sorry, I misread. I apologize.

 

[leebee]

It was my friend and I can guarantee you, we talked about it once. She told me the story over dinner one night, and that was it. We haven't talked about it since. She certainly didn't whine.

I would guess (and it's only a guess) that your friend was asked to be in the wedding of a virtual stranger because her DH was close to the groom and a groomsman. The bride asked your friend to be in the wedding party so she could be partnered with her husband. Many folks are very touchy about their spouses being asked to be in a wedding party and partnered with a stranger… they usually attend functions together, sit together, dance together. We've seen enough comments about this on these boards ("I can't believe I can't sit at the head table with my DH who is in the wedding party") to know it happens. Perhaps the bride was just being nice when asking your friend to be a bridesmaid.

I don't' understand why so many people are "love me, love my kids" these days. Kids are kids, adults are adults, and sometimes there ARE functions for one and not the other (I don't go to parties at Chuckie Cheese, for example!). I say, if the guests of honor don't want children other than their grandkids at their party, then send the invitations "adults only." However I like the idea of putting a handwritten note into the invitation of the cousin who will insist upon attending with her kids. SOmething polite, like "We hope you can find a sitter for the kids so you can join us at this joyful celebration of my parents' marriage; however, if you can't, Mom and Dad will understand." It's more personal, but it gets the "no kids" idea across CLEARLY. If they choose not to come because they want their kids there too, well, that's their choice.

 

[okeydokey]

I would guess (and it's only a guess) that your friend was asked to be in the wedding of a virtual stranger because her DH was close to the groom and a groomsman. The bride asked your friend to be in the wedding party so she could be partnered with her husband. Many folks are very touchy about their spouses being asked to be in a wedding party and partnered with a stranger… they usually attend functions together, sit together, dance together. We've seen enough comments about this on these boards ("I can't believe I can't sit at the head table with my DH who is in the wedding party") to know it happens. Perhaps the bride was just being nice when asking your friend to be a bridesmaid.

I don't' understand why so many people are "love me, love my kids" these days. Kids are kids, adults are adults, and sometimes there ARE functions for one and not the other (I don't go to parties at Chuckie Cheese, for example!). I say, if the guests of honor don't want children other than their grandkids at their party, then send the invitations "adults only." However I like the idea of putting a handwritten note into the invitation of the cousin who will insist upon attending with her kids. SOmething polite, like "We hope you can find a sitter for the kids so you can join us at this joyful celebration of my parents' marriage; however, if you can't, Mom and Dad will understand." It's more personal, but it gets the "no kids" idea across CLEARLY. If they choose not to come because they want their kids there too, well, that's their choice.

I like this idea. Makes it super clear in a nice way.

 

[DWGal210]

I like this idea. Makes it super clear in a nice way.

I agree, I like it too.

 

[EMom]

I would guess (and it's only a guess) that your friend was asked to be in the wedding of a virtual stranger because her DH was close to the groom and a groomsman. The bride asked your friend to be in the wedding party so she could be partnered with her husband. Many folks are very touchy about their spouses being asked to be in a wedding party and partnered with a stranger… they usually attend functions together, sit together, dance together. We've seen enough comments about this on these boards ("I can't believe I can't sit at the head table with my DH who is in the wedding party") to know it happens. Perhaps the bride was just being nice when asking your friend to be a bridesmaid.

I don't' understand why so many people are "love me, love my kids" these days. Kids are kids, adults are adults, and sometimes there ARE functions for one and not the other (I don't go to parties at Chuckie Cheese, for example!). I say, if the guests of honor don't want children other than their grandkids at their party, then send the invitations "adults only." However I like the idea of putting a handwritten note into the invitation of the cousin who will insist upon attending with her kids. SOmething polite, like "We hope you can find a sitter for the kids so you can join us at this joyful celebration of my parents' marriage; however, if you can't, Mom and Dad will understand." It's more personal, but it gets the "no kids" idea across CLEARLY. If they choose not to come because they want their kids there too, well, that's their choice.

Referring to them as "the kids" can be seen as abrupt and rude. I would encourage the use of their given names, Helter and Skelter. (Or was it Chaos and Mayhem......Devastation and Destruction......Oh well, something like that.)

Seriously, who cares if the parents are offended? They don't care that their kids disrupt family functions. Maybe this will be a wake up call. But I wouldn't count on it. Hey, maybe they drag the kids along because no one is WILLING to babysit them.....

 

[NFLDERS]

Referring to them as "the kids" can be seen as abrupt and rude. I would encourage the use of their given names, Helter and Skelter. (Or was it Chaos and Mayhem......Devastation and Destruction......Oh well, something like that.)

Seriously, who cares if the parents are offended? They don't care that their kids disrupt family functions. Maybe this will be a wake up call. But I wouldn't count on it. Hey, maybe they drag the kids along because no one is WILLING to babysit them.....

1st paragraph: I agree use their names b/c I too think it best. But, not b/c I think kids is ie rude.
Last sentence was the winner of this thread for humour!!

2nd paragraph. . Made me SMILE!

 

[goofinoff]

But in essence they are, they are just older. That is where the problem lies. This is the only cousin still with younger kids from the way I read it . So everyone in the family is being invited except for 2. They are being singled out and told not to bring their family because they are younger. There are only 2 kids! this isn't about not inviting 12 of them it is only 2 kids from 1 family. And not friends but family, also a big difference. I think it is going to cause hurt feelings for a long time over 2 kids. But that is IMO.

No, that's not what I said. He is my only first cousin (out of 8 first cousins) who has kids. The other 7 cousins are all in their 20s and not married. There are a couple other people who are invited who have children and those kids are not invited as well. But those people know that when an invitation doesn't say "and family" or "the blah blah family" that means no kids. This one particular cousin has come right out and said that he doesn't go anywhere without his kids. Even if the kids were well behaved they wouldn't be invited.

 

[goofinoff]

OP here. Haven't heard from the cousin yet! Rumor has it he's mad that his kids aren't invited. Oh well!

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

We have a family member getting married in June fighting this battle right now. She has a cousin with two (sorry to say bratty) kids who is literally making the kids not being invited into a family war. The bride and her mom have called and tried to talk some sense into this woman, and so far, it's not working.

So, if I were you, I'd have a backup plan if they just plan on coming and bringing their kids anyways. It seems like for those kind of people, no matter what you write on the invite, they're probably going to ignore it...

Terri

How about this for a backup plan:

"We are sorry you cannot make it."


While I like being able to take kids to weddings and had children come to mind-requests to not do so should be respected.

Showing up with uninvited people is a no no.

My cousin showed up we my wedding with 3 of her children. I has not invite her and though we made room and accommodated (proper etiquette thing to do), or really messed up seating and because the spare table is where the "help" (as my aunt called the photographer and DJ), it was the only place to put them. This it ended up insulting my aunt (mother and grandmother to the uninvited). Now--that was too had so sad. But if people come uninvited, they will have to deal with how they are accommodated.

*i had not invited my cousin as I had no contact with her for years. Had the Aunt requested this earlier, I would have been happy to have them. Telling me the night before was just not nice.

 

[Pigeon]

If you want an adults only party, wedding, whatever, that's fine, put that on the invitation and only invite the adults.

But do it knowing some people may not attend. Those who choose not to attend shouldn't be harassed about their decision.

We never went to adults only functions when my kids were younger. We weren't offended, we just didn't go. It's an invitation, it's not a command performance.