OK. I'm gonna have a hard time being at all funny today. Because. I just spent three and a half days with The General. We called it Thelma and Louise. Go North. North was pretty much like D.S., Arkansas. FYI.
I wish I were dead.
And, I would have been... had I found a cliff I could have driven over. Let's keep going! Go!
Alrighty... back to Disney. Yet again.
The five happyhaunts were tearing up MS...
Mission Sinise... when we realized we were pretty thirsty. And hungry. And, yet, we STILL needed to go and do Test Track. For Tommy. Because he had put up with our hour and a half riding MS. Because we all LOVE to ride MS. Especially me. Who didn't nearly get enough of it.
This time.
So we wandered over to Test Track and decided to just pick up FASTPASSES, instead. There was a tiny wait and we figured we would miss our ADR at Les Chefs de France. If we stayed.
Only Beth and I were really interested in making that ADR. By the way. Mellyman was none too excited and the boys didn't care. One way or another.
But Beth and I wanted to go. And since we're the bossiest two in the family. We headed out to walk to France. Plus... the boys are a little afraid of us, as well. I think.
We got to France with about fifteen minutes to spare before our lunch ADR time. Which was for a late lunch. According to Disney protocol... one should check in for their ADR about 15 minutes before their seating time. Anyway.
That's why I didn't.
I went to buy Mellyman and myself a glass of wine. Instead.
I hate protocol. And rules. Laws. Lawyers. Blah. Blah.
However... I DO enjoy watching "Dog... Bounty Hunter". On A&E. It cracks me up. Severely. I especially like Dog's wife, Beth. She cracks me up. Too. I especially like telling our Beth that she's named after "Beth... female Bounty Hunter".
Beth doesn't care for the show. Or my jokes.
But... I digress. Because neither Dog or Beth are French. Or normal. Or polite. Or too clean.
Wow. THEY ARE FRENCH. After all.
So I purchase two glasses of wine and we find a bench, in France, to sit and enjoy it on. While the kids play in the little farmyard garden and Kidcot Station across the way. I had a glass of dry white. Mellyman had red. I can't remember what we had, at this point, but it was fine. Not great. But fine. Mine was very cold. Which was all that mattered. Really.
We sat and chatted and watched the kids playing. Calvin will immediately find himself a friend. Wherever he goes. Beth will hang back a bit and watch Tommy. Tommy will barge in and, without a word, try to join whatever is already in progress. But... sweetly. With smiles and laughter. They are fun to watch. Each so different. From the other one. We finished our glass of wine and realized that we are now LATE for our lunch ADR.
Perfect.
Time to go.
I round up the troops and we head over to the restaurant. This will be a first for us. I've always meant to eat here but we've just never gotten around to it. We're seated immediately. Partly because it's late and partly because EPCOT is not really busy today. It's pretty quiet in general. We thought. There are a few tables with people eating but the front room, with all the windows, where we are seated is at least half empty. It cool and quiet and pretty in there. Lots of yellow. The waiters are dressed to the nines. And as we walk in I feel that WE are slightly underdressed. For lunch. Here. But...it's EPCOT, after all, we look like everyone else. We are seated with menus. Our waiter comes over to greet us.
He is very handsome.
Like... Gary Sinise Handsome. But handsomer. And young. Like 20ish. But handsomer.
Geez.
Ok. Get it?
We'll call him "Philippe". Because. Just because.
Philippe was all smiles. Pouring water and asking how our day was so far. Mellyman ordered a glass of wine for both of us. And the kids ordered Coke. Philippe disappeared through the doorway and turned right... walking towards the area where the washrooms are located. I know this because I watched him the whole way. I think I even may have gotten out of my chair. To see better. But I don't know for sure.
The whole thing is a little hazy.
I turned to Mellyman.
Me: Wow. Our waiter is pretty handsome.
Mellyman: Really? I would never have guessed. Here. Wipe your chin.
Me: Heh heh.
Mellyman: Actually... everyone who works here looks pretty darn good.
(pause. We both scan the servers.)
Me: Yep. And YOU didn't want to eat here. Ha, ha!
Mellyman: Perhaps I was too hasty.
Calvin: So what is a French Kiss?
Me: Come again?
Calvin: Is it kissing in France? Or what?
Beth: CALVIN!!! We're eating.
Calvin: Not yet. We don't even have drinks yet.
Me: I've got this one. Well, Calvin... remember last time we were here. In December. At Disney Studios? Waiting for the boat to ride back to the Beach Club? Remember those people kissing in line?
Calvin: Ewwwwwww! Yes! They were French?
Me: Apparently.
Mellyman: Geez, Mel.
Me: Wasn't THAT a Disney Moment? For ya? Mel.
Calvin: Beth? Have you ever kissed someone French?
Beth, Mellyman and Me: CALVIN!!!
Tommy: I so hungry. I may die.
The drinks came. The handsome waiter brought them. He asked us if we were ready to order. Calvin asked him if he was really French. We shushed Calvin. And asked for a minute to look at the menu.
I didn't need to. I knew what I wanted. I also knew what I wanted Mellyman to order. I always do. Ahead of time. I like to read the menus. For all the Disney Restaurants. For fun. On AllEarsnet. I "suggested" to Mellyman that we order The French Menu. Just one. And the Crepe Basquaise. And share everything. He agreed. But said he didn't want the dessert. Neither did I. But it was a good deal. Anyhow. I figured someone at our table would eat it. Probably Calvin. The kids all wanted fish and chips.
Ha ha.
Yeah, right! This IS FRANCE. I said. NOT the UK!!!! Fools.
Beth showed me the kid's menu.
Oh.
Apparently fish and chips is ALSO big in France.
Shhhhh. Don't tell the French. Or that'll be the end of that.
Handsome Hot French Guy came back. We ordered. I asked for two spoons for the first course which was the Onion Soup. He said "Of course!".
And winked.
I giggled.
Mellyman rolled his eyes.
I also asked for the dressing for the salads on the side. He said "My pleasure!"
Or something.
With his accent.
There was more eye rolling.
Then the soup came. "Voila!". I said "Du rien". And hoped it was the correct response.
Insert LARGE EYE ROLL. Here.
Let me just say this: The Onion Soup was SOOOOOO GOOD!!! SO GOOD! It was the best french thing I had EVER had in my life. Thus far. It was better than French fries, French beans, French braids, French cuffs, French dressing, a French manicure. And a French horn.
Then again, lots of things are better than the French horn. I know. I used to play it.
Anyhow... it was very good. Mellyman and I were practically fighting for it.
I mean... fencing. With our spoons. And... we were pretty close to each other with our spoons. So it was "Classical" fencing. As opposed to "Sport" fencing.
Geez. THAT'S gonna start a heck of a debate. Here. On the Dis. I KNOW it.
Heh heh.
Handsome waiter came back to ask about our soup.
What soup?
Gonzo soup. We ordered more wine.
And why not? We're at EPCOT... after all. Monday. Lunch. That's happy hour, right?
I'll bet it is in FRANCE. Anyway.
Then our mains came and the kids' fish and chips. Which I think was takeout from the Counter Service in the UK. But... whatever. Floats your boat. Our extremely handsome waiter brought a bowl full of the salad dressing. Which was a balsamic cream. Dressing.
A WHOLE bowl. Wow.
I said, "Wow. That's a lot of dressing. There. Philippe. But... thanks."
Phillipe smiled and said in his adorable accent, " You need the energy. I wouldn't want you to fade away in the heat this afternoon."
Giggle.
Tremedous eye roll. From Mellyman's corner.
Philippe had better watch out. Mellyman is a Classical Spoon Fencer.
Again the food was amazing. We shared the Ham and Cheese sandwich and the crepe. Mellyman got the lion's share of both. Because it was SO RICH. Now... I love a good ham and cheese. It is a lunch standby. It is impossible to dislike a ham and cheese. Everyone LOVES a ham and cheese. And... everyone loves a clown. Too. Anyhow this was a fried sandwich. Which had the flavour of butter. Yum. Tons of cheese inside and big, thick and crisp. It was delish. YUM. So was the crepe. It had smoked chicken inside with peppers and onions. Also very good. So far this was one of the BEST lunches. EVER. At Epcot.
Go... if not for the service. Go... for the food. Go. GO!
The kids really enjoyed their fish and chips too. From the UK take out stand.
I think.
The salads were good. Crisp and fresh. The dressing was delish. We barely put a dent in the bowl of it. Tho.
Then Philippe came back and started chatting with me. I told him where we were from and started talking about Quebec. Which is French but NOT French. If you know what I mean. Philippe got confused by something I said and I tried to explain it better. He pulled up a chair. And sat down. I tried to explain better but we were both confused now. I started laughing and blushing. He started laughing too.
Now... at our table... were all five happyhaunts. And Philippe. Mellyman's eyeballs were spinning.
I think.
I don't really know. Because I was busy talking to our waiter. Who was sitting with us. Touching my knee.
Whew.
That was fun.
Have I mentioned that Les Chefs de France is a romantic restaurant. Too?
At least we thought so.
Me and Philippe. That is.
Calvin broke up our little chat by telling Philippe that he was French too. He said his name is French. It means "bald". I told Philippe that I really like french things. Like French onion dip, French poodles, French roast coffee, French vanilla ice cream and French rolls.
Except for French poodles.
I hate poodles.
Pardon my French!
Philippe then served our dessert. Which we all just stared at. We were full. Too full for dessert.
We paid the bill and Mellyman tipped Philippe large. For putting up with Me(l). I guess. Then we wandered out of the restaurant. I asked Mellyman if he enjoyed the lunch. He said he did. He loved the food. The atmosphere. And that someone actually made me BLUSH. I am not easy to make blush. FYI. He said he enjoyed that. Greatly.
And...especially... the fact that this lunch made up, completely, for the dinner last trip where he ignored me and stared at the Bellydancer in Morocco for our whole meal. And told me she was "way hot". And admired her stomach muscles. Then tried to tell me that I was prettier. But, clearly, he didn't mean it. Geez.
See. I remember!
Now I'm jealous. I think.
To be continued. Up next: Rating our meal on the PeptoB Scale. Getting picked out of a crowd in Japan. And more! Much MORE!
& walk away! ahhhh but who
...[ok it's just the closest thing chewing
into lou's lieb'ary ? 
on her. thanks for the "heads-up!
] add your "separated"
out!
