I am getting to the point where I just want to GIVE UP because no matter what I do, how much I exercise, or what I eat, I can't seem to get below 134-135.  I mean, I have been trying to lose weight since JULY!!!!!!!  
  I am sick of worrying about what I eat, sick of being obsessed with food and sick of not being happy with my body.  
  I haven't been doing the BFL weight routine, but I have been lifting weights for 30 minutes at least 3x a week for months, and doing cardio at least 3x a week as well.  And yes, I have firmed up, but there is still a long way to go.  I don't know if it's because I am getting older or what, but I am really upset about things right now... 
 
 I guess I am just ticked off that I am not where I wanted to be for my cruise.  Yesterday I drank 100oz of water, 2 cups green tea and a DC:
  I am feeling better about things, but still kinda frustrated with the scale.  I am going to stick with BFL (but not during my cruise 
 ).  DH got me Body for Life for Women and Eating for Life (dont worry, I asked for them 
 ) and there was a sub-chapter in BFLW that really hit home.  It was called Strive for Progress, not Perfection.  
  I drank my 100oz of water; 2 cups green tea; Minute Maid Light; a DC:
  Also, that you can even THINK about trying on a bikini, let alone wearing one, is awesome. Since you didn't have those extra few pounds before you went on the pill maybe those 5lbs will melt off after you get off of it.  I'm glad you'll have some down time to yourself for reading & getting remotivated this weekend.  You're so busy you may just need some R&R.
 )
 Good luck. 
  Not one particular thing, just 5 Goldfish here, a handful of almonds there (the bag is now gone, thankfully), a couple Hershey Kisses here....  I am at 136, and I am OK with that.  I totally understand why it went up
  
  I think this weekend I am going to take a bunch of measurements (arms, legs, waist, hips).  I know my arms are more defined and less flabby, my butt has gotten smaller and my legs dont jiggle as much as they used to.  Progress has definitely been made.  
 That is my promise to myself.  I drank 100oz of water; 2 cups of green tea and a DC:
 )  I'll keep chugging along! 
 
 
 Thanks for always being there to support me!
 
 ; More chocolate; Cone w/ice cream
  I am very sore today, but I can't wait to go back next week.  
  I was very intimidated when I went in there because I was the biggest person in there (yes, at 136lbs).  All the others were in their 20's and weighed 110lbs dripping wet.  And did I mention their legs stopped where my neck begins?  
  Anyway, I was so proud of myself because I was able to keep up with ALL the abs and I could do ALL the pushups (real ones, not on my knees).  The Skinny Minnies were struggling and taking breaks!  Needless to say, my eating wasn't great, but it could have been worse.  I got some things at Trader Joe's (High Fiber O's cereal, wheat tortilla chips, individually packaged bags of almonds).  When I was there I found some Blueberry Fiber Cakes that are only 80 calories, 1.5g of fat and 13g of fiber in each one!  I ate 2 of those for my snack yesterday - they were actually good!  I'll have to stock up on those everytime I make the trip to TJ's.  I went out to eat for lunch AND dinner yesterday... 
 I am debating on whether or not to call that my free day and behave today.  We'll see how the day goes.  I did drink 120oz of water and a peach margarita:
  

  
  
  
  
 
 I did drink 100oz of water, about 1/3 of a DC, 24oz NF Chai Latte and 1 glass of white wine:
  Sounds like you nailed it!  Real pushups are a big deal.  I can only do 8-10 of the sissy ones.  Pretty soon you'll be one of the skinnies in that class.  You're on your way with your BFL eating precruise crunch! I'll check my library for the EFL book.  They had the BFL book and tapes so they probably have the recipes too.  We can do this!!!!
  I absolutely DID NOT want to go to the gym, but I forced myself to go anyway.  I had a real lack of energy for some reason, but Im glad I toughed it out.  I tried some Jedi mind tricks (actually I used some techniques from the BFLW book) and whenever I wanted to nibble, or was trying to talk myself out of working out,  I reminded myself how much I want to prove that I can stick to something and not fail.  And if that didnt immediately snap me out of it, I reminded myself that I want to look great in my bikini, not just settle for a one-piece.  It seems to have worked, at least for last night
  
  I am going to stop posting my weight until I hit some major milestones (I am currently at 136).  The ones that I hope to reach soon are 133 (at which point I will finally get a 5lb clippie) and 129 (which will finally get me out of the 130s).  I drank 100oz of water, 2 cups green tea, 20oz AZ NoCarb Blueberry Green Tea and a DC:
 
 Were you able to get the EFL book at the library?