Am I the only "mean" mom during the summer?

[Divamomto3]

Well I ought to let my kids read this thread!

My kids are finishing their last year at Catholic school. (We are moving.) They always had 3 books they had to read over the summer, and I plan on gently reminding them that they are required to read over the summer. The school also gave out math packets over the summer to review what they learned. I personally understand the need for review, but I, along with my kids, found it to be drudgery. I'm glad we won't have to do them this summer.

My older kids will stay up until they can't keep their eyelids open anymore. They will sleep until their eyelids open up. They will swim and play neighborhood baseball games. They will ride their skateboards, they'll have sleepovers, they'll go to soccer camp. They'll play Playstation, they'll IM their friends on the computer, they'll talk on the phone. We'll go to Disney World.

My youngest (6) will probably go to bed around 9. I'll read with him. He'll also swim all summer and go to soccer camp. He'll play outside with his friends. All 3 will come home dirty, tired, and tan. Two weeks before school starts, we'll have to "practice" how to go to bed early and get up early.

 

[kydisneyfans]

Another twist here is that if a student does too much over the summer and is too prepared to go back...they will be bored to tears and learn nothing the first few weeks back in school-a difficult launch to the new school year is never a good thing.

I would not appreciate my boss handing me paperwork the day I leave the office for vacation just to keep up on my skills while I am away, although schools get 10 weeks off, doing daily worksheets just isn't going to happen in my home.

My wife and I discussed rebellion last evening-I was forced to read and decipher books throughout high school, whether I liked them or not. Forcing me to read those books turned me off to reading books for life. The only book I have picked up since college is the Bible. My wife has 3 sisters and Sundays were a rigid go to church, have lunch, read the Bible, and go back to church. No TV, nothing. Out of the 3 sisters, one converted to Hindu, one claims to be Scientologist, the other is just lost.

Learning is good in moderation, we like the idea of having a child learn when they do not realize they are learning. We have our 7 year old read highway signs while travelling, or read animal descriptions at the zoo to us. What he does this summer is his choice...this week he wanted to attend a baseball camp.

Our child was the only one in his class this year to have no behavior warnings, and other than neatness, is doing 3rd grade classwork in 1st grade. He did no structured work last summer, and is not doing any this year. As parents, we are using the good methods our parents used, and are trying to improve on the things we did not like in our childhood. I cannot remember doing any schoolwork in the summer as a kid, and I had a 4 year full academic scholarship upon graduation. There was no structure to my summers at all.

To the OP-it seems that you may be turning your DD off by giving too many school related things. Maybe a once a week review on a rainy day would suffice. Let your kid be a kid.

 

[disneyjunkie]

well, we all have our priorities...

 

[EthansMom]

I also have learning activities/opportunities scheduled for my DS4, though not as formal as the OP.

We'll be working on DS's writing his ABC's in preparation for Kindergarten. Also, DS reads most evenings before bed. We'll visit the aquarium, zoo, and dinosaur museum. We'll attend hydroplane races, a fair, an outdoor art sale/show. For fun, we'll play board games, do puzzles & mazes, shoot off model rockets, color, paint, and play with play doh. DS and DD will have playdates and swim lessons.

I don't subscribe to the attitude that kids need an entire summer of downtime, but that's me. I also don't think that my children's days need to be strictly scheduled. If DS4 isn't having a good day, we put off working on his writing until tomorrow -- no big deal. If DS doesn't want to read to me, I'll read to him.

I do find, as another poster mentioned, that DS is more advanced in his curriculum than other kids his age. But I don't think that that is sufficient reason to put off giving him the opportunity to learn.

 

[goofy's friends]

You've got to have a sense of humor if you are going to have kids... I've laughed at all of the histronics of my children...Imagine...they all still love me!

I don't see any problem with doing some bridge activities. Maybe if more parents did, there would be less children that cannot read or write. Teachers spend an average of 4 - 6 weeks every school year just reviewing. I would pick field trips, and outings over worksheets, but worksheets won't kill anyone.

My kids were always looking for physical, and mental stimulation during the summer. It is a time to play and sweat and enjoy. Studying and chores do not take that long, IMO.

Very well said!!

 

[mommaU4]

well, we all have our priorities...

That comment seems a little rude, but maybe that's just me.

By the way, while you are taking your 6 and 7 year old girls and helping them to get "lean and brown" I hope you are remembering to use sun screen on them as the number of skin cancer cases in young children is on the rise.

 

[AdventurerKat]

well, we all have our priorities...

Judge much?

 

[macraven]

well, we all have our priorities...

and yours might be what.......





i thought muffycat had a great plan
what problem did you have with it?

 

[Missy1961]

well, we all have our priorities...

Well, some moms have to work. Especially when they live in an expensive area. And some moms want to work.

I thought muffycat was wishing she could do what you do.

 

[alliecats]

well, we all have our priorities...

What a snarky thing to say. It's too bad we are not all able to share the same priorities, isn't it? Some moms have to keep "putting food on the table" as the #1 priority, and who is anyone to judge? Muffycat's post to you was nice and just explaining why she couldn't do as you do. I don't see why you felt you had to show your tail with this sarcastic answer.

 

[Mom21]

Ok I think I am going to ask that this thread be locked. Not because people don't agree with me, but because I hate to see it turn so ugly. I think we all parent our children differently. We all love our children, and our goal is to see them grow up as happy, productive individuals. I think where we differ is how to achieve this goal. I did respond in a not-so-nice manner to a poster, but I apologized. Apology was accepted, and that was that.

For the record, my dd is a happy, productive, albeit lazy child. She isn't afraid of me. She still climbs in my lap at 88 pounds and likes to cuddle. She tells me all about her day and what everyone said. She says she is going to live with me forever.....LOL. Yes, bad mom that I am, I groan and say "Oh NO, not that" when she says it. She knows I am kidding and we laugh and laugh. I am so sorry for those that have bad memories of their childhood. I sincerely hope my dd doesn't have that, and right now I see no signs of it. I don't ever, ever disregard my dd's feelings. I know enough about her to know when it is appropriate to laugh and when she needs a big ole hug.

I will admit I am tough, yet lenient if that makes sense. My dd knows what is expected, and she does make a big drama about it. Even she jokes that she is a drama queen. Unfortunately a light hearted post turned into a chance for people to be not so nice. Like I said, I really didn't expect many to do what i do as none of my friends do. So there were those that said something along the lines of "no we don't do anything and we like it that way" ( that was a great response), and those that were downright nasty. I am not here to be my dd's best friend. I am here to be her mom, and I think I do a darn good job of it as evidenced by the last year. Granted the few years before I had my doubts.

Please let us all remember that we all love our children and want to do the best we can with them.

 

[Mom2Ashli]

well, we all have our priorities...

What exactly does that mean in reference to the post you quoted? I didn't think her posted called for that kind of remark.

Some people work because they always have or want to. Other because the HAVE to. Does that make them bad parents? I think not.

 

[tevagirl]

Here you go:

Main Entry: 1com·pli·ment
Pronunciation: 'käm-pl&-m&nt
Function: noun
Etymology: French, from Italian complimento, from Spanish cumplimiento, from cumplir to be courteous -- more at COMPLY
1 a : an expression of esteem, respect, affection, or admiration; especially : an admiring remark b : formal and respectful recognition : HONOR
2 plural : best wishes : REGARDS <accept my compliments> <compliments of the season>

Seems there are some people who don't recognize one.

 

[Beca]

Thank you. That does make sense. I was honestly having trouble understanding where you think finding something amusing equates being uncaring. I'm sorry you had that experience growing up. I really did find your circus comment humorous, although I don't agree with it.

Here is an example about drama king moments. This one my SON actually laughs about. The day they were choosing band instruments in 5th grade, my son had a little meltdown before school. "Why are you making me do this, it's supposed to be a choice, other people's parents aren't making them, you're so mean, I'll do it but I'm not going to enjoy it - I hope you're happy to see me so miserable" etc. All the while, I kept calmly saying that this is the way it is in our family, he will play for two years as a matter of course, and then he can choose whether to continue when he reaches junior high.

Well, he came home from school in LOVE! He had found his calling. He was going to be a band director when he grew up. He is in 7th grade now. The trumpet is his first love. One of his biggest dilemas is figuring out how he can practice on vacation because I can't possibly make him go two weeks without his trumpet.

Even my son sees the humor in that dramatic moment. Looking back at my childhood I see similar moments in my childhood and find humor in them, as I'm sure my parents did - like the time I ran away from home in 2nd grade because I didn't want to go to Sunday School. I lasted about 5 minutes. My parents certainly didn't laugh at my face, they really didn't say anything except to calmly tell me to get in the car it's time to go, but I'm sure they had a good chuckle out of my hearing.

That's great!!!

My dd is definitely a "drama queen"...I even bought her such a shirt, and put it on her when she was TWO!!!!

She is now 4, and when she starts "dramatizing", I look at her and start laughing....in just a matter of minutes, she is laughing at herself....yep, she knows she's a "drama queen"!!

I think BALANCE is the key word. Some kids need summer work, others do not. Some parents want it for their children, others do not....you know what...it's all okay!!! I cannot look through a crowd of people and tell you definitively who had school work in the summer, and who did not.

I think families just need to be true to their own personal values, but I think a few guidelines should be followed:

1) Summer should be a fun time for children to be children, foster friendships, family relationships, see fun places, and enjoy more freedoms than normal...I'm sure those are the things we all remember most fondly of summer.

2) Educational experiences during the summer should be more creative than the traditional schooling methods. The best learning situations are those where children do not realize they are learning. I saw a show on that guy on the internet who was doing the "Evolution of dance" video that covers the last 50 years of dance and pop culture. If I had a late elementary thru high school student, I might make them analyze the origins of every number he danced to...that would be a neat summer assignment....and, one they would likely not forget!! Here's the link if anyone wants to see him. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BIeIWkK0t4s&search=evolution of dance

3) Don't forget to encourage physical activity that your child feels is "fun" in the summer. Swimming, biking, different "camps" (cheer, dance, gymnastics, soccer, baseball, volleyball)...whatever they feel is "fun". My dd is only 4 1/2, but we sat down together and talked about how she wanted to spend her time this summer. Inactivity is not an option, but in reality, my job came down to limiting, not requiring her activity...she wanted to do too much!!

4) Take any "special needs" of your child/ren into consideration. Some kids thrive on schoolwork...the mental challenge is a game to them. Others struggle and DESPERATELY need a "schoolwork break". This is not a "one size fits all" solution.

5) And, whatever you do....do it in a LOVING way. Make sure your children know WHY they are responsible for certain things. Even my 4yr old, when she asks me "Why" I am requiring something, says: And, Mom...I refuse to accept 'Because I said so' as the answer....surely you can come up with something better than that." And, this brings me to my last point...

6) Remember, kids learn by example. If you are a "lifelong learner"....chances are, they will be too!! If you want your kids to read...make sure they see you reading, too.

Wishing everyone the best!!

Beca

 

[daisy_77]

well, we all have our priorities...

wow.

 

[MUFFYCAT]

well, we all have our priorities...

EXCUSE ME. but who the the he-- are you to judge me like that!!!!
before you go mouthing off, why don't check some things first.

for all you know i could be a single parent with no husband & child support!
did you ever think of that before shooting your mouth off!!!!!!


sheesh, you try to nice and you get some snotty remark like yours that's the last time i ever compliment anyone on these boards.!!!



i certainly i'm not going to explain my "priorties" to you.


i just can't believe how judgemental and nasty your comment was.

 

[makinorlando]

well, we all have our priorities...

Yes we do, and mine would be providing a roof over my DDs head and food on the table.

I have no CHOICE but to work full time as I am the SOLE FINANCIAL support for the two of us.... as I have never received a dime of the child support since DD was 5 months old that is court ordered as my ex-DH has done a disappearing act.

I work at home, and DD9 will be spending most of the summer at home - only a two weeks right now of organized activities. I let her go to bed when she wants and get up when she wants - still usually by 9:30pm and up by 8ish). She does read some, and plays educational games (and others) on the computer, Game Cube or Game Boy. All require reading and concentration! We usually play in the pool during my lunch hour, we have plans on going to the library as well. She also walks the dog. Oh and yes - we both watch MINDLESS TV reruns some days! Heck I watched I LOVE LUCY today!

Summer is about having some down time -

 

[MUFFYCAT]

Yes we do, and mine would be providing a roof over my DDs head and food on the table.

I have no CHOICE but to work full time as I am the SOLE FINANCIAL support for the two of us.... as I have never received a dime of the child support since DD was 5 months old that is court ordered as my ex-DH has done a disappearing act.

I work at home, and DD9 will be spending most of the summer at home - only a two weeks right now of organized activities. I let her go to bed when she wants and get up when she wants - still usually by 9:30pm and up by 8ish). She does read some, and plays educational games (and others) on the computer, Game Cube or Game Boy. All require reading and concentration! We usually play in the pool during my lunch hour, we have plans on going to the library as well. She also walks the dog. Oh and yes - we both watch MINDLESS TV reruns some days! Heck I watched I LOVE LUCY today!

Summer is about having some down time -

you know she'll report us to child welfare services for being bad working moms

I love "I love Lucy"
I watched Leaver it to Beaver

 

[disneyjunkie]

Yes we do, and mine would be providing a roof over my DDs head and food on the table.

I would be happy to stay home.

However, my son has become accustomed to food, electricity, having a roof over his head and trips to WDW

 

[makinorlando]

you know she'll report to child welfare services for being bad working mothers

I love "I love Lucy"!
I watched Leaver it to Beaver!

I would be happy to stay home.

However, my son has become accustomed to food, electricity, having a roof over his head and trips to WDW

Well, I could quit my job and let the other nice citizens of these United States put food on my table and a roof over my head, and then I could spend all my time with DD! I'd probably have to give up my APs to Disney though!

I just really get upset when people GO THERE about working Moms! If ex-DH (D does not equal DEAR) would have stepped up to his responsibilities maybe I could be a "stay at home" mom too.

I've worked full time since I was 21 years old. I would love to PLAY all day with DD! Heck - I'd love to clean my house during the week and not have to do it in the evening or on weekends too rather than be working some days!