Am I the only "mean" mom during the summer?

[princess pooh]

Yes we do, and mine would be providing a roof over my DDs head and food on the table.

It makes me furious when women are attacked for doing the best they can for their families . You're doing what's best for your daughter and you shouldn't have to justify yourself to snotty strangers on the internet.

 

[Miss Inga Depointe]

Summer is about having some down time -

Yes, and also summer is about letting a child do a little thinking and exploring by himself.

When I was a kid, our imagination ran wild. Now, the moms imagination run wild and then organizes creativity for kids.

It's great to make keep the learning going in the summer, but too many moms just can't relax enough to let kids have a creative thought of their own. I'm not saying that this is true about the OP. I'm just saying I saw alot of it. Now that I've seen these kids grow up, they are either wound tighter than a clock, or have totally rebeled.

 

[~queenie~]

well, we all have our priorities...

0h my apple pie... that sounds a tad harsh, don't ya think??

 

[DWDreams]

Summers at my house are for fun also, although there is the summer reading list and project that is participated in. OP, I don't think it makes you "mean" to have your daughter do all the other school-like work, but I also think one day she won't look back at summer vacations fondly like many kids do. I also don't get the treadmill thing honestly. I do hope she isn't very strong-willed and stubborn or I suspect you'll be in for a ride in the next few years due to the amount of structure involved.

In the end, these are all opinions of course, and we all raise our own children as we see fit and obviously feel our own opinions are of higher merit. That's just the way it works.

 

[alliecats]

EXCUSE ME. but who the the he-- are you to judge me like that!!!!
before you go mouthing off, why don't check some things first.

for all you know i could be a single parent with no husband & child support!
did you ever think of that before shooting your mouth off!!!!!!


sheesh, you try to nice and you get some snotty remark like yours that's the last time i ever compliment anyone on these boards.!!!



i certainly i'm not going to explain my "priorties" to you.


i just can't believe how judgemental and nasty your comment was.

Don't worry Muffycat, we've all got your back.

I'm thinking the person who said that needs to spend less time damaging her skin getting "lean and brown" at the pool and more time with increasing her reading comprehension (then maybe she wouldn't have been so quick to spit in the face of a nice poster) and more time learning not to be judgmental, patronizing, and rude. Just a suggestion!!

 

[macraven]

well, we all have our priorities...

 

[Tracey1974]

It makes me furious when women are attacked for doing the best they can for their families . You're doing what's best for your daughter and you shouldn't have to justify yourself to snotty strangers on the internet.

Well said!!

 

[goofy's friends]

I've read this entire thread and am shocked by many of the responses. everyone here is going to raise their children a little (or a lot) differently that the next, but does that make us right, wrong, or just "different"? It sounds to me that the OP knows her child and is very well-rounded with the opportunities offered her.

As for me, I believe that as a parent, I am the one responsible for teaching my children what they need to know and knowing them well enough to know their strengths and weaknesses. That learning/teaching does not stop just because school is out for the summer. I look at it as an opportunity for them to learn new household skill like laundry and cooking (which equals chores) and translates to personal responsibility. They have a daily checklist that gives an allowance at the end of the week, so it's a win-win situation.

They do have a worksheet everyday included on their list. As a teacher, I believe it is important to keep up the skills and I have seen too many kids lose it over the summer. It's not much and they actually enjoy it, usually. It's not a structured time, just have to have 5 pages done and checked by the end of the week to get their allowance. THEY DON"T MIND! They earn TV tokens for reading. 30 min. of reading gets a token. They turn in a token for 30 min. TV (play video games or computer time). I just keep the token jar on the TV. No pressure. They LIKE the system and they like to read.

Our system is not me micro-managing, but is holding them accountable. It's very little in the scheme of things and they don't feel pressure--they just don't get the reward (allowance/tokens) if they don't do it.

 

[allie&mattsmom]

well, we all have our priorities...

Wow! From some of your posts I've read in the past, you tend to post some of the most ridiculous, rude statements. I certainly hope you are not passing this "trait" on to your kids. Remember, the acorn doesn't fall far from the tree.

 

[Miss Inga Depointe]

I've read this entire thread and am shocked by many of the responses.

I don't see what's so shocking about differences of opinion on an internet BB. The OP was provocative and there have been reactions.

I'm just going to tell you about my mom, and why the OP reminded me of her. At the beginning of summer we got "the speech" about how "if we thought we were going to laze around all summer" we were sadly mistaken. There would be work to do and she was not going to be our servant. Any kind of bad reaction to "the speech"; she'd laugh, she thought it was really funny.

Honestly we didn't object to the chores or anything like that. It was like, this was our "welcome to summer: don't think it's going to be a luxury cruise!" I get a really icky feeling when I think of that. I don't have warm feelings about summers with mom.

With my kids, when summer vacation came it was "I'm so happy you're home! It's going to be the best summer ever!" All that other stuff came along with it but it just wasn't the most important thing to establish myself as the great and powerful oz first thing off the bus.

Now I'm not saying it isn't this way for the OP, I hope it is, I just that I didn't feel it in the post .

 

[goofy's friends]

I'm not shocked at the disagreement--I enjoy reading everyone's different opinions and consider it an opportunity for me to broaden my horizons. I am shocked at the vehemence expressed against the OP.

I am sorry that you had that experience IDP, and I know that our own experiences have everything to do with the way we see and perceive the world. It is also a primary factor for better or worse in how we raise our children. I just think there can be expectations hand in hand with fun. I'm so glad you enjoy your children during the summers--I think the OP does as well--it sounds like it to me.

 

[Miss Inga Depointe]

I am sorry that you had that experience IDP, and I know that our own experiences have everything to do with the way we see and perceive the world. It is also a primary factor for better or worse in how we raise our children. I just think there can be expectations hand in hand with fun. I'm so glad you enjoy your children during the summers--I think the OP does as well--it sounds like it to me.

I didn't tell that story for my own theraputic value, I told it so that maybe a mom out there might see themselves in it and heed the warning. How I "perceived" my childhood was the reality of my childhood. It matters very little my mother's intention.

Kids can feel very powerless, especially with moms on power trips. Of course there are expectations with the fun; there isn't a mom on this thread that has disagreed with that.

I only tell my story, not to point any fingers, but so that if it helps someone, I'll be glad of it.

 

[PooohBear]

well, we all have our priorities...

My priority today is to Thank God I am not anything like you !

 

[Bbgrizzle]

My priority today is to Thank God I am not anything like you !

Hey, now. . . . .That was pretty snarky too!

 

[VickiVM]

I can't tell by the posts if I fall into the 'not so mean mom' category or the 'lazy nice mom' category?????

I am so glad I don't have homework. When the kids are in school I help with homework/projects and my evenings (and my husbands) are all about the kids. After a school year of homework, projects that required research, and preparation for TAKS testing, we all need the break. My kids do well in school, 2 are straight A's, my middle is a straight B student. My son tested and will be in GT math and English this fall.

No academic work will be required in our house. Shame me if you want. The kids have been watching videos, playing video games, swimming daily, doing chores. They will be going to summer camp, VBS and a week long mission trip to central Mexico where they will eat sandwiches for a week straight and not have the benefit of all our creature comforts from home (like a nice bathroom) - all to help an indigent village and their people.

So while they may not be putting a pencil to paper, they have lots of downtime which they've earned and several faith-based projects to enrich their souls and character.

But I won't lie - I'm glad they don't have schoolwork. I need the break!

 

[Planogirl]

well, we all have our priorities...

That was uncalled for. It's sad when we can't appreciate each other's differences.

 

[allie&mattsmom]

We just started swim team, diving team, golf team, baseball, softball and cheer camp this week (yesterday) and I'm already exhausted just getting them where they need to be. I am sooo glad we get a break from homework, we ALL need it! I do make the kids make their beds and pick up afer themselves as well as other small chores during the summer, but they don't do major academic work. I do push them to read when we have time and I will make my DS do some math facts but that's about it. It's summer. It's fun time. Time to be a kid. Time to play in the neighborhood. Time to be able to stay up and watch movies or play video games. I must add though that they both do well in school, with the exception of my DS struggling a bit in math, so we will work on that during the summer. Otherwise, I would work with them on whatever I felt they needed to work on during the summer so that they are better prepared by the time school rolls around.

 

[PooohBear]

Hey, now. . . . .That was pretty snarky too!

Well, i'm sure if she can dish it out, she can take it !

 

[VSL]

well, we all have our priorities...

I did a double take when I saw this.

MUFFYCAT was complimenting you!

Not everyone can be a SAHM - in fact, you're incredibly lucky to be able to do so.

I would love to be a SAHM (when I have kids) and it is something that me and BF have discussed (he wants it too), but if I can't then so be it.

In fact, I'd go so far as to say MUFFYCAT's priorities (for her children to be clothed, sheltered and fed) are much better placed than your priorities of fun (and skin cancer).

 

[noodleknitter]

I can't tell by the posts if I fall into the 'not so mean mom' category or the 'lazy nice mom' category?????

I am so glad I don't have homework. When the kids are in school I help with homework/projects and my evenings (and my husbands) are all about the kids. After a school year of homework, projects that required research, and preparation for TAKS testing, we all need the break. My kids do well in school, 2 are straight A's, my middle is a straight B student. My son tested and will be in GT math and English this fall.

No academic work will be required in our house. Shame me if you want. The kids have been watching videos, playing video games, swimming daily, doing chores. They will be going to summer camp, VBS and a week long mission trip to central Mexico where they will eat sandwiches for a week straight and not have the benefit of all our creature comforts from home (like a nice bathroom) - all to help an indigent village and their people.

So while they may not be putting a pencil to paper, they have lots of downtime which they've earned and several faith-based projects to enrich their souls and character.

But I won't lie - I'm glad they don't have schoolwork. I need the break!

But, yours are just being educated in a different form. Their brains are being stimulated, as well as their bodies, charactor and souls. Sounds like it works well for your family. Each family needs to do what works best for them. IMO.

Have a lovely trip to Mexico! We've been to Haiti, and Jamaica and the Honduras for rebuilding after various disasters. It profoundly affected all of us!