Am I the only "mean" mom during the summer?

[Becky2005]

I haven't read through the entire thread but I'm probably one of the more lazier moms on here but that's OK, works for my kids & I.

Summer to me is about FUN. My son has a learning disability plus ADHD, so we struggle all year with not only his regular homework but the extra resource homework. I don't want to fight him all summer over extra stuff. He goes to summer school, so academics are taken care of there. Basically his mornings starting in about 2 weeks are taken up by going to school. His bus will probably come get him around 8 AM -- so no sleeping in either. My 6 year old also gets speech & OT during the summer in the mornings, so basically our mornings are taken up by scheduled school/therapies.

The afternoons are park district camps, my dd has gymnastics, tumbling, cheer. The boys have karate. There is an upcoming town festival where my dd performs so starting tomorrow her practice starts.

My daughter enjoys workbooks for fun, so she does those when she feels like it.

Anytime they have free time from doing all the scheduled activities I let them bum around. Today is one of them. We are just hanging out (until later when DD has to go to her gymanstics team awards picnic/party and DS goes to his last Cub Scout hoorah tonight).

 

[disykat]

As far as the OP not wanting other opinions, I never got that vibe from her. It seems her reply was directed towards the posters who felt the need to disagree with her opinion in a NOT SO NICE way. There's a big difference in the reply, "I, personally, feel that would be a little too much work for my child", and commenting , "I'm glad you're not my mom. I would KILL myself if you did that to me." One response is a differing of opinions, the other immediately puts people on the defensive.

Lori P.

I agree. What started out as a lighthearted post has turned into the OP having to defend herself from all sorts of attacks. Someone posts her dd doesn't get a variety of exercise or have fun activies planned, she posts that dd does all sorts of activities, then someone else posts that her dd is overscheduled. It's getting silly. Throughout it all, with the exception of ONE post that was directed at a particularly nasty poster, the OP has retained her sense of humor.

 

[PaulaSue]

I am not sure why you would ask for other opinions than be snippy when they give them to you

If you don't want to take what other parents are saying under consideration, then perhaps you shouldn't have asked.

Thank you!

 

[DISUNC]

Ok. This is most likely be my last reply to this thread. I hope it dies a quick death.

First, I would like to apologize for my nasty post last night. I was just in shock at being called a bad mother, and hearing things like if you were my kid you would kill yourself, brought out a not so nice side of me. I do sincerely apologize as I posted in hurt and am not like that normally. Thank you to those that realized that.

OP,

I was the poster who you were 'nasty' too last night. Apology accepted.
I was not hurt at all, suprised, but not hurt!

I am compelled to post one more time...

I just reread this whole thread and no where did anybody post "things like if you were my kid you would kill yourself"! Only You, yourself eluded to this in post #38!

I did post 'if I was your kid I run away"! Thats just me running off my mouth, and was not in any way meant to be hurtful! I am sort of a wisecracker, unfortunately wisecracking does not transend over the internet too well. I will be more careful about this in the future. I am sorry you took it as such.

That being said, I do standby everything else I said.

 

[redshoes]

I know the OP said that she wanted this post to die, so please forgive me for bumping it up but I wanted to share what my parents had me do as "school work" one summer. When I was 10, my parents took me to the store and had me pick out my own notebook and some stickers to decorate it. That notebook became my journal for the summer, the rules were that I had to write a full page about either the days events or I could make up a story. Then my Mom or Dad would go through and read it, they would correct the grammar, spelling, etc. I knew this was the journal my parents would read so I was careful not to write something that I would get in trouble for. I can't tell you how much I treasure that journal to this day and how much it helped me when I went back to school. It improved my spelling, handwriting, and just my writing skills in general. It also helped with my relationship with my parents, I knew that whatever I wrote in that journal they would discuss with me- so I found myself writing things down that I didnt want to say out loud to them, but that I could talk about after they had read my words. As for my math review, my Mom "made" me cook with her that summer. I had to measure, add, subtract, and divide in all of the recipes that we made. That was a great hands on activity that made me review my math skills and helped me to see that you do use math in daily life. I have very fond memories of that summer and honestly at the time I didn't really "get" that my parents were having me do "school stuff".

 

[RadioNate]

I just wanted to say that I think redshoes and bananiem both have great solutions for 'school work' without it being boring busy work. As a former homeschooler I'm sure you can come up with a more creative way to learn than worksheets.

 

[phorsenuf]

I was the one who highlighted swimming. When I did so I was highlighting all the activities the girl did. I'm sure she's pooped! I know I would be.
With all she does I just can't imagine addding treadmilling to it. I believe the OP said he DD was overweight and that's why the Dr. recommended it. Is he aware how active she is? It seems to me that if she is so active and still overweight (as the OP said) maybe she has a metobolism problem. You may want to think about having her thyroid checked.

 

[mommaU4]

Hmm, guess I should rethink my plan of letting my kids play video games all summer long.

 

[XYSRUS]

It's called Summer VACATION. Yeah, That's a lot of stuff to do. As long as she isn't losing skills over the summer, I see no reason she has to do all that boring paper work. Are you a teacher? Sounds like busy work...I hate busy work, bell work whatever name you slap on it. Exercise is ok, maybe she could listen to some music while doing it. Household chores are alway good... distributes work among the family memebers, contributes to the overall running of the house smoothly, teaches your kid they're not the center of the universe. Again, Cut the school work, unless she needs the extra help. Kids are kids...not little grown-ups. Just my 2 cents.

 

[Missy1961]

Boy, if my mom had been this strict, I think I would have hated school. I guess because I loved to read, she left me alone. Of course, I had chores to do--that's a given--but that was the only thing I "had" to do. But she was sneaky--she had me cook with her--a great way to learn math, follow directions, reading. She took me shopping-- again, a way to learn. I did go to a summer day camp, where we did arts & crafts, played sports & went on field trips. Of course, somehow I managed to graduate with a BA in English Lit & I've worked in publishing for 20 years.

Of course, your kid, your plan.

 

[Skylarr29]

I think children typically do what is expected of them... if you don't expect much you wont get much. Expect alot and you will get alot. I see nothing worng with letting her have structure even though it is the summer. And it's not like she isn't used to it if she was home schooled. Alot of children forget things during the summer and do have a hard time re-adjusting once school begins again. A good amount of fun and structure will keep her from being bored. And yes children should have chores and responsibilities.

 

[MUFFYCAT]

I haven't read all the pages so i don't knw how everyone feels about the subject.

Call me a bad mom, but it's summer vacation. I never pushed work on them.
My younger DD likes to read. Whenever she wants to , she does.

 

[ElizaB39]

I think children typically do what is expected of them... if you don't expect much you wont get much. Expect alot and you will get alot. .

This especially struck me as funny although I think Skylarr29 certainly didn't mean for me to burst into spontaneous laughter!

 

[SamIAm21]

Ok! Now, I am not a nasty person, but I can say that I am going to be nasty right now. Maybe if your mom had made you do grammar pages you would know that is it "allowed" and "BEcause" and "exactly". Not going to comment on the rest, as those are a few of the glaring ones. BTW, my dd is as happy as a child can be that is required to be accountable for her actions. Guess I should just let her be, and then she can grow up to be like my brother: in jail.

PUHLEESE. Do you have kids? My dd is a drama queen. She is going to give a drama if I make her clean up a game she played for the day. That is just how she is. She isn't ready to commit suicide yet. SHe seems happy child for the most part.

I'm sorry but if my DD, who is 6, was wrapped up in the fetal position holding her head in her hands and having a meltdown, I'd be taking notice. Like many others here have said, if you didn't want other opinions, don't ask. And honestly, no one likes a spelling nazi.

 

[disneymom3]

I'm sorry but if my DD, who is 6, was wrapped up in the fetal position holding her head in her hands and having a meltdown, I'd be taking notice. Like many others here have said, if you didn't want other opinions, don't ask. And honestly, no one likes a spelling nazi.

Okay, when DD was 6 I might have thought that too, but have you lived with a 9 yo girl? Let me tell you, it is nooooo picnic! They are the most dramatic oversensitive people you have ever met. My friend's DD had a 45 min tantrum because she didn't want something they were having for dinner. No lie. This is not a bad mom or an overly controlling mom or a psycho daughter, no she is a 9 yo. My friend was also told she was killing her DD and it was the most horrible thing ever. Now, my DD does not go to those extremes but when I would not let her go to theater camp(It just wasn't in the budget) you would have thought her grandmother had died. She stubs her toe and you are sure it is going to need to be amputated.

As for the OP, you said you weren't checking in, but just in case. I homeschool too (I know you don't anymore) and I agree with the idea of not totally letting everything go by the wayside in the summer, but I know that my kids would really not like to do school via worksheets all summer. We do have a science day, cooking day and art day each week. I work various math and writing things into those. As far as reading comprehension, we read together and discuss the books. Growing up I was required to read certain books every summer and I did hate it sometimes but I was one of the most well read college freshmen you would ever want to meet!

 

[Disneyrsh]

I take the girls (6 & 7) over to the pool most days, and we spend a few hours swimming and goofing off. By the end of the summer, we're lean and brown.

Last week we went to the Botanical Gardens and ran around for about 3 hours. Man, I was beat. Took lots of pictures of the flowers, the girls got a quarter for every flower they could identify. Both earned enough for an ice cream.

This week we're going to the aquarium, the library's doing a thing about fossils and havign a dragon illustrator come in.

Next week they have basketball camp in the morning.

Week after that we've going to see Beautiful Butterflies at the nature center and then over to Fernbank Museum a few days after that to see the "Chocolate" exhibition.

Week after that we're going to the Zoo.

It's all on the calendar I make the last week of school and stick up over the computer-that was for June. Last week of June I'll sit down with them and we'll figure out what we'd like to do for July. They definitely have a say.


Usually the day after we go out I'll have my 7 year old write about what we saw and did in a journal, and the (almost) 6 year old draws pictures in hers and does a few words.


There are ways to learn, and we're all about experiencing as learning, instilling curiosity, and applying learning to discovery.

 

[Skylarr29]

This especially struck me as funny although I think Skylarr29 certainly didn't mean for me to burst into spontaneous laughter!

Hey whats so funny? lol

 

[MUFFYCAT]

I take the girls (6 & 7) over to the pool most days, and we spend a few hours swimming and goofing off. By the end of the summer, we're lean and brown.

Last week we went to the Botanical Gardens and ran around for about 3 hours. Man, I was beat. Took lots of pictures of the flowers, the girls got a quarter for every flower they could identify. Both earned enough for an ice cream.

This week we're going to the aquarium, the library's doing a thing about fossils and havign a dragon illustrator come in.

Next week they have basketball camp in the morning.

Week after that we've going to see Beautiful Butterflies at the nature center and then over to Fernbank Museum a few days after that to see the "Chocolate" exhibition.

Week after that we're going to the Zoo.

It's all on the calendar I make the last week of school and stick up over the computer-that was for June. Last week of June I'll sit down with them and we'll figure out what we'd like to do for July. They definitely have a say.


Usually the day after we go out I'll have my 7 year old write about what we saw and did in a journal, and the (almost) 6 year old draws pictures in hers and does a few words.


There are ways to learn, and we're all about experiencing as learning, instilling curiosity, and applying learning to discovery.

i like your method

unfortunetly i work full time (that's another debate ) and
was unable to do what you did.

it sounds like you and the kids are having fun!

enjoy the summer

 

[Wish I lived in Fl]

.....I'm sorry but if my DD.. was wrapped up in the fetal position holding her head in her hands and having a meltdown..

My DS13 is a Drama King. The whining and moaning for unloading the Dishhwasher,taking out kitchen trash and feeding the dog is unbelievable.

OP has inspired me to require more of him. He is going to complain no matter how little i ask so i might as well require a lot. Then he will still be complaining the same but learning a lot more.

Reading Farmer Boy by Laura Ingalls Wilder. My son needs to read it to know how good he has it now!

 

[Julia M]

Okay, when DD was 6 I might have thought that too, but have you lived with a 9 yo girl? Let me tell you, it is nooooo picnic! They are the most dramatic oversensitive people you have ever met. My friend's DD had a 45 min tantrum because she didn't want something they were having for dinner. No lie. This is not a bad mom or an overly controlling mom or a psycho daughter, no she is a 9 yo. My friend was also told she was killing her DD and it was the most horrible thing ever. Now, my DD does not go to those extremes but when I would not let her go to theater camp(It just wasn't in the budget) you would have thought her grandmother had died. She stubs her toe and you are sure it is going to need to be amputated.

As for the OP, you said you weren't checking in, but just in case. I homeschool too (I know you don't anymore) and I agree with the idea of not totally letting everything go by the wayside in the summer, but I know that my kids would really not like to do school via worksheets all summer. We do have a science day, cooking day and art day each week. I work various math and writing things into those. As far as reading comprehension, we read together and discuss the books. Growing up I was required to read certain books every summer and I did hate it sometimes but I was one of the most well read college freshmen you would ever want to meet!

Oh my gosh, that's my dd, too. Life between 10 1/2 and 11 1/2 was a NIGHTMARE!! (it was what I expected at 13!!!)

On the plus side, now at 11, who will be 12 in 2 months, she's gotten alot better.

I'm sure people would flip at dd's schedule.......this year she did baton (it's 11 months a year), school volleyball in the fall, soccer in the fall and spring, school softball in the spring, Girl Scouts and horseback riding, as well as the school newspaper. She also is an alter server. I am overscheduling her? I don't think so, she's just the kind of kid who wants to do EVERYTHING.

Oldest ds, on the other hand, doesn't want to do as much, and tells me so. He does baseball in the fall and spring, and takes guitar lessons. That's it.

Anyway, just a comment that it's about what is right for your child.......some kids do well with more, some need less.

As for summer work, oldest ds has homework assigned by the school. I also have bought 2 computer programs to play around with for him...spanish and math. I'm doing the same for the younger two. I require 1/2 hour of reading per day, in the morning, but they usually read 2 or 3 hours per day. That's because I limit tv and video games.

Julia