Advice needed on teenagers, dating and curfews!

[traces7]

OP here, thanks again for all your input. I know in the long run it's up to us to decide what's right for our family, but it is nice to get ideas and advice from other people on what works for them. It's been so helpful!

 

[barkley]

i'll just say that our dd had a curfew in high school as well as college-at least last year when she was living with us. it just came down to me not wanting to be staying up all hours of the night worrying-so our house/our rules. she lives on her own now so she can do as she pleases-her house/her rules.

I have to share this though, cuz this thread is kind of timely on the subject of what age/grade spread in high school is appropriate for dating. I had lunch w/dd today and I was asking her what was up with some of the friends from high school she's still in contact with. I was floored when she told me that one of her friends-currently a senior/turning 18 in about a week will be moving out of her parent's home to live with her 27 YEAR OLD BOYFRIEND when I asked about it dd said very matter of factly 'well mom, you know she was dating high school seniors when she was a freshman because she said the guys her own age were to immature, so each year she kind of 'aged up' with who she dated so none of us were that surprised when she started doing dual attendance at the university and began dating the guy'.
if this weren't enough then dd starts updating me on another friend from high school-19 years old, who while she's not planning on moving in with him anytime soon, is in a 'serious relationship' (drum roll please).......................................................................................with a 53 YEAR OLD, and again dd explains it with 'she dated seniors as a freshman and was bored with them by the time sophomore year in high school rolled around so..........' I gotta wonder if those 2 sets of parents that had no problems with their daughters dating older boys in high school aren't kicking themselves.

 

[luvsJack]

That is sad and scary for those girls but lots of girls date older boys and don't go to that extreme. Dd dated a junior as a freshman and a sophomore her sophomore year and now hangs out with juniors and seniors.

 

[Wishing on a star]

Yes, the age-peer thing is an interesting aspect.

When my son was in school, in First Grade he was held back... (his learning disabilities).. so he would be older than many of his age-peers.

I have seen threads here about other parents who think their young child is academically ready, and might want to be challenged, who are thinking of having their child moved forward.

On those threads, I have always posted that the parent should really be thinking ahead, long term, to high school, when that 15 year old girl is in classes with 17 year old guys, and is wanting to do everything that her older classmates are doing. Or that very, very, smart, but possibly developmentally and socially immature 16-17 year old boy is graduated high school, and is facing college, or 'the real world', if they might not yet be quite ready.