Advice/Help for traveling with 3 generations and differences

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

it's less of a family vacation and more of a vacation in parallel,

Purely my opinion but I think that's where the OP is at because we all could give advice on how to more effectively split up the OP from the grandkids so she could have her own vacation and have the freedom to go off on her own without feeling like just the babysitter but in the comments of the OP it seems more the issue is that she wants to be involved in it all rather than go off and do her own thing she would rather everyone go all as a group and experience things as a group or at the very least that all or most of the grandkids ride all or most of the attractions all together she she gets to experience it all together as a group.

For as much as the OP wants the vacation to be what she wants so does her adult daughter and husband and so does her son and his wife and their kids. Everyone is also trying to have their own vacations. It can definitely take talking it out to understand where everyone is at.

 

[Rory607]

We have done Disney with three different sets of grandparents and each trip was different. My IL’s were not interested in taking the kids on their own at all, which is fine. That’s their choice. We would typically start the morning together, then split off and meet back up for dinner. The kids stayed with us the whole time. I don’t do thrill rides, so if my H wanted to ride a big ride I waited with the kids and IL’s if it was in the morning. We would not go do a different ride, which I think is key! We would eat a snack and get a drink, look around at stuff, people watch. This way we weren’t getting separated. It worked well.

I would kindly approach your kids and suggest this schedule and see what they say. This way everyone gets to see the kids ride AND you can stay together. I won’t go into too much detail about our other grandparent trips. The one with my mom didn’t go so well because she had unrealistic expectations and also claimed beforehand she would help watch the kids and then was irritated when she did. So that was that.

My dad and stepmom are awesome at Disney and go with the flow. They don’t take the kids too much on their own, but always offer a date night where they stay at the hotel with the kids while my H and I go out to dinner and the parks.

 

[MickeyMouse718]

It sounds like the biggest issue for your family is meeting up after breaking up. It seems like your two previous Disney trips went mostly well other than an isolated incident each trip that was resolved through a discussion and it didn’t happen again on that trip. This issue was likely exasperated at the local theme park (like other have said) by the lay out of the adult vs kid rides and it seeming like there were two separate groups of rides. I’m also not sure what the infrastructure of the local park was regarding wait times signage and such.

As you would know from you past trips, many rides in Disney are enjoyable for the whole family, so it seems like it would be helpful to your family if you had a plan to do the rides that everyone wants to do together. That ensures all adults get to experience those rides with the kids.

Are the 6 and 7 year old still interested in smaller rides (like Dumbo) or character meets? Are you and your husband interested in the thrill rides? For the rides that the young ones can’t go on, when you split up come up with a set plan. “These people are going on this ride while these people will take the littles to either a character meet or to a ride that they can do (either ride bigger kids aren’t interested in or repeat one littles like if already done as a family).” Keep it to the same part of the park to make it easier to meet up after (Tron/Dumbo). Wait times are usually relatively accurate so that should give everyone an idea of when to be back at the meeting place set before you broke up. If the adults that stayed with the littles first want to ride the ride, use rider switch and take the bigger kids a second time!

Even though it’s an additional expense, it seems like getting the lightening lane single and multi passes would be beneficial to your group. It would reduce line time for the rides available to everyone, so even if the bigger kids don’t love the ride anymore it might be more bearable for them. It will also open up additional time in the day for using rider swap. It would also help frame a pre trip conversation about how to approach each day in preparation for booking lightening lanes. Making some ADR would also help with that conversation. There’s some pretty good resource if you google “magic kingdom lightening lane itinerary” (available for the other parks too). I used the first 2 that came up in planning our last trip and we were able to ride every ride each day using LL and still had time for a lengthy afternoon break.

 

[ShannyMcB]

We did a three generation trip in 2021, my kids first trip and my in-laws first time returning after MANY years. BIL and DN (dear niece) were there as well. Kids ranged in age from 9 to turned 3 on the trip. Many different interests and willingness to try things. In 2021 you still had to make park reservations for the first park and could hop where ever after 2. We all had our first park the same and would decide the night before what time we were arriving and if there were any must dos as a group. Beyond that we had three ADRs/fireworks events we did together and ended up meeting up for lunch and dinner a few times beyond that.
It was very fluid and there weren’t lightening lanes yet at that point.
For us it worked pretty well.
Each family had one or two things they wanted to do as the full group and we were able to make those all happen so I suggest whomever really wants to do something all together decides on those and (if possible) books lightening lanes.
But the logistics of knowing where everyone is at all times? Nope. Short of having everyone carry an AirTag and one person monitoring all movements.
Pick some must experience together experiences, things that will make memories and schedule a couple ADRs or state we are having dinner at this QS at this time on this night and let the rest just kind of happen. Over planning and strategizing will lead to frustration and disappointment. But a few well planned and timed group events will create memories to last years while keeping the stress levels down.

 

[North of Mouse]

Op, your post and situation is exactly why we do 'not' all vacation together. Yes, we are the parents/grandparents, but we like Disney too. All different ages/families vacation differently - some situations work perfectly, but not many from what I see/hear.

Some may disagree, but even tho' we all love each other, we agree to vacation separately. Togetherness is for our home areas. DH and I (in our late 70's) just returned from Disney and had a fabulous vacation. Our children enjoy their family time alone also - it works for us and we're all happy. I've heard too many horror stories - just recently from other relatives - their trip was basically ruined by one adults pettiness. We pay way too much money for that.

Good luck to you - whatever works - have fun!

 

[easyas123]

Op, your post and situation is exactly why we do 'not' all vacation together. Yes, we are the parents/grandparents, but we like Disney too. All different ages/families vacation differently - some situations work perfectly, but not many from what I see/hear.

Some may disagree, but even tho' we all love each other, we agree to vacation separately. Togetherness is for our home areas. DH and I (in our late 70's) just returned from Disney and had a fabulous vacation. Our children enjoy their family time alone also - it works for us and we're all happy. I've heard too many horror stories - just recently from other relatives - their trip was basically ruined by one adults pettiness. We pay way too much money for that.

Good luck to you - whatever works - have fun!

Spot on. Plus, the OP (if I remember correctly) also watches her grandkids 5 days per week...OP, maybe it would be better to consider something along the lines of you & your husband joining in on the trip for the last day or two and then spending some time there by yourselves on vacation?

 

[Dakota731]

Op, your post and situation is exactly why we do 'not' all vacation together. Yes, we are the parents/grandparents, but we like Disney too. All different ages/families vacation differently - some situations work perfectly, but not many from what I see/hear.

Some may disagree, but even tho' we all love each other, we agree to vacation separately. Togetherness is for our home areas. DH and I (in our late 70's) just returned from Disney and had a fabulous vacation. Our children enjoy their family time alone also - it works for us and we're all happy. I've heard too many horror stories - just recently from other relatives - their trip was basically ruined by one adults pettiness. We pay way too much money for that.

Good luck to you - whatever works - have fun!

I can’t imagine that! Grandparents here, and we all do 2-3 vacations a year together - beach, WDW and the national parks, and the memories have been unforgettable. To be able to watch my grandkids experience all these places is the highlight of my life, and I cherish every minute!
But I guess it just shows you the vast differences in people, so just do what works for your family and try not to stress and over analyze everything!

 

[North of Mouse]

I can’t imagine that! Grandparents here, and we all do 2-3 vacations a year together - beach, WDW and the national parks, and the memories have been unforgettable. To be able to watch my grandkids experience all these places is the highlight of my life, and I cherish every minute!
But I guess it just shows you the vast differences in people, so just do what works for your family and try not to stress and over analyze everything!

That's great! That's why I said "some situations work perfectly, but not many from what I see/hear". The lady that started this post was already talking about issues they had in the past. Happy traveling!

 

[mjkacmom]

We’ve traveled with my parents and our 5 kids, we’d start each day with a plan starting with rides everyone can go on, and later we might split up, usually my parents bringing the youngest back to the resort for a swim/nap, and H and I would take the older kids on rides the youngest were too short for.

 

[Madteaparty001]

I agree with others that it sounds like the caregiving roll during the week is crossing over into you feeling like second parents vs. grandparents. Most parents don't see all of their children's firsts let alone the grandparents, you'll need to let that one go.

Strategy wise I think a ground rule of everyone staying in one section of the park at a time can greatly reduce the anxiety and then making a plan around that. For example Fantasyland: Pick 3 rides everyone does together such as PhilharMagic, Voyage in Little Mermaid, Peter Pan's Flight. Group splits up for a few rides, the older ones can ride Seven Dwarfs Mine train and Barnstormer while the littles can ride Dumbo, It's a Small World, and/or Winnie the Pooh. Pick a place to meet and take a break together, grab a meal, a snack, take some pictures, etc.. Repeat.

If everyone has to be together for sake of sanity and happiness I agree with investing in LLMP or if you all can swing it, LLPP (or a VIP tour) but that's a large investment for you ideal vacation. 8 people is a very large group to try and keep together at all times.

 

[unrequited23]

We took both sets of grandparents with us on our first trip to DW with kids that were 5 & nearly 3. In hindsight, I feel like there was not enough pre-trip communication regarding each groups 'must do's' and limitations.

Some things that did go right were planning for the whole group to stay in near the same area when breaking up. For example, we split our group in two to ride Expedition Everest while the non riding group stayed with the kids playing in The Boneyard. Another thing I did was to make a free customized touring plans for each day that listed rides and the approximate times we would be there and gave electronic and paper copies to each group. This way everyone had a rough idea of where the main group would be if someone overslept or wanted to opt out of an activity.

Our 'planned days' together only ran from rope drop to about 2pm with the only meal we ate together being lunch. Some days we all hung out longer, some days we split up. One day, my in-laws took the kids to get ice cream and secure a parade spot while DH and I got to ride Space Mountain alone.

 

[katyjeka]

We have done several multi-generational trips, and they are a lot of stress! What works for us is allowing everyone to go their own way and meet up for meals. It is almost impossible to do everything as a large group. Another idea is to plan a couple extras that can be enjoyed together. A dinner show, bike riding, canoeing at FW, miniature golf, all allow you to spend time as a group without fighting your way through crowds.

 

[thanxfornoticin]

We have done several multi-generational trips, and they are a lot of stress! What works for us is allowing everyone to go their own way and meet up for meals. It is almost impossible to do everything as a large group. Another idea is to plan a couple extras that can be enjoyed together. A dinner show, bike riding, canoeing at FW, miniature golf, all allow you to spend time as a group without fighting your way through crowds.

ABSOLUTELY (sorry for the caps, but it's appropriate here!). We've done many of these trips over the years, and this suggestion is the key to a great trip without extreme stress and bickering. We'd set up a straw man of plans and options each day, and each of the family groups with us could pick and choose what was best for them. It led to different sub groups each day spending large parts of the day together, and quality family time/memories when we all got together for a meal or a show or a pool day. We learned valuable lessons each time we did these trips, but katyjeka has the best advice - it will make for a much better trip!

 

[Judique]

This seems complex and more so because you guys are making it complex.

Everyone should be on the same page about what attractions everyone wants to do instead of going all Willy Nilly about it.

On attractions EVERYONE wants to ride then EVERYONE should be riding it.

Do all the TOGETHER attractions first.

THEN split off and then meet back up for meals.

But even when you split up again it should be like ok the 7yr old and the parents go on Space and Tron while the grandparents take the younger ones on something or just wait for the other group.

When we had a multi generation go several years in a row my mom who doesn't like thrill rides would sit with the kids that were too young and they would just SIT not start wondering off to other attraction that then everyone would have to message each other to figure out where everyone went.

Kids need to learn how to be "bored" again.

Your mother was a saint. I'm a grandparent to 4 aged 5 months to 9 and a half. No way am I going to just sit. Me and whatever kid I might be left with are gone and we'll get back with whoever later. Also, if I'm taking a kid you better show some gratitude.

All said, I LOVE a big trip but it can get overwhelming. Usually either too much planning or not enough planning.

Anyway been there done this will do again. Just don't forget to be a bit selfish and have a bit of fun. Also, that parent with 4 kids may need a break and a bit of understanding.