Advice/Help for traveling with 3 generations and differences

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

it's less of a family vacation and more of a vacation in parallel,

Purely my opinion but I think that's where the OP is at because we all could give advice on how to more effectively split up the OP from the grandkids so she could have her own vacation and have the freedom to go off on her own without feeling like just the babysitter but in the comments of the OP it seems more the issue is that she wants to be involved in it all rather than go off and do her own thing she would rather everyone go all as a group and experience things as a group or at the very least that all or most of the grandkids ride all or most of the attractions all together she she gets to experience it all together as a group.

For as much as the OP wants the vacation to be what she wants so does her adult daughter and husband and so does her son and his wife and their kids. Everyone is also trying to have their own vacations. It can definitely take talking it out to understand where everyone is at.

 

[Rory607]

We have done Disney with three different sets of grandparents and each trip was different. My IL’s were not interested in taking the kids on their own at all, which is fine. That’s their choice. We would typically start the morning together, then split off and meet back up for dinner. The kids stayed with us the whole time. I don’t do thrill rides, so if my H wanted to ride a big ride I waited with the kids and IL’s if it was in the morning. We would not go do a different ride, which I think is key! We would eat a snack and get a drink, look around at stuff, people watch. This way we weren’t getting separated. It worked well.

I would kindly approach your kids and suggest this schedule and see what they say. This way everyone gets to see the kids ride AND you can stay together. I won’t go into too much detail about our other grandparent trips. The one with my mom didn’t go so well because she had unrealistic expectations and also claimed beforehand she would help watch the kids and then was irritated when she did. So that was that.

My dad and stepmom are awesome at Disney and go with the flow. They don’t take the kids too much on their own, but always offer a date night where they stay at the hotel with the kids while my H and I go out to dinner and the parks.

 

[MickeyMouse718]

It sounds like the biggest issue for your family is meeting up after breaking up. It seems like your two previous Disney trips went mostly well other than an isolated incident each trip that was resolved through a discussion and it didn’t happen again on that trip. This issue was likely exasperated at the local theme park (like other have said) by the lay out of the adult vs kid rides and it seeming like there were two separate groups of rides. I’m also not sure what the infrastructure of the local park was regarding wait times signage and such.

As you would know from you past trips, many rides in Disney are enjoyable for the whole family, so it seems like it would be helpful to your family if you had a plan to do the rides that everyone wants to do together. That ensures all adults get to experience those rides with the kids.

Are the 6 and 7 year old still interested in smaller rides (like Dumbo) or character meets? Are you and your husband interested in the thrill rides? For the rides that the young ones can’t go on, when you split up come up with a set plan. “These people are going on this ride while these people will take the littles to either a character meet or to a ride that they can do (either ride bigger kids aren’t interested in or repeat one littles like if already done as a family).” Keep it to the same part of the park to make it easier to meet up after (Tron/Dumbo). Wait times are usually relatively accurate so that should give everyone an idea of when to be back at the meeting place set before you broke up. If the adults that stayed with the littles first want to ride the ride, use rider switch and take the bigger kids a second time!

Even though it’s an additional expense, it seems like getting the lightening lane single and multi passes would be beneficial to your group. It would reduce line time for the rides available to everyone, so even if the bigger kids don’t love the ride anymore it might be more bearable for them. It will also open up additional time in the day for using rider swap. It would also help frame a pre trip conversation about how to approach each day in preparation for booking lightening lanes. Making some ADR would also help with that conversation. There’s some pretty good resource if you google “magic kingdom lightening lane itinerary” (available for the other parks too). I used the first 2 that came up in planning our last trip and we were able to ride every ride each day using LL and still had time for a lengthy afternoon break.

 

[ShannyMcB]

We did a three generation trip in 2021, my kids first trip and my in-laws first time returning after MANY years. BIL and DN (dear niece) were there as well. Kids ranged in age from 9 to turned 3 on the trip. Many different interests and willingness to try things. In 2021 you still had to make park reservations for the first park and could hop where ever after 2. We all had our first park the same and would decide the night before what time we were arriving and if there were any must dos as a group. Beyond that we had three ADRs/fireworks events we did together and ended up meeting up for lunch and dinner a few times beyond that.
It was very fluid and there weren’t lightening lanes yet at that point.
For us it worked pretty well.
Each family had one or two things they wanted to do as the full group and we were able to make those all happen so I suggest whomever really wants to do something all together decides on those and (if possible) books lightening lanes.
But the logistics of knowing where everyone is at all times? Nope. Short of having everyone carry an AirTag and one person monitoring all movements.
Pick some must experience together experiences, things that will make memories and schedule a couple ADRs or state we are having dinner at this QS at this time on this night and let the rest just kind of happen. Over planning and strategizing will lead to frustration and disappointment. But a few well planned and timed group events will create memories to last years while keeping the stress levels down.

 

[North of Mouse]

Op, your post and situation is exactly why we do 'not' all vacation together. Yes, we are the parents/grandparents, but we like Disney too. All different ages/families vacation differently - some situations work perfectly, but not many from what I see/hear.

Some may disagree, but even tho' we all love each other, we agree to vacation separately. Togetherness is for our home areas. DH and I (in our late 70's) just returned from Disney and had a fabulous vacation. Our children enjoy their family time alone also - it works for us and we're all happy. I've heard too many horror stories - just recently from other relatives - their trip was basically ruined by one adults pettiness. We pay way too much money for that.

Good luck to you - whatever works - have fun!