Adoption: Agency vs. Private Attorney

[LukenDC]

You can use your eggs and sperm for surrogacy. The surrogate is just the gestational carrier. And from personal experience once that baby is born it doesn't matter whose egg or sperm was used to make him or her. You all love them the same

We are a same-sex couple, so no eggs to give. My ever down-to-earth mother also suggested surrogacy and recommended that my DH and I each give a "donation" that could then be mixed before deposit so that we could each have an equal chance of being the biological father.

 

[LukenDC]

OP, I would think you would have better luck going though an attorney, at least in my experience. When we were trying to adopt there were no agencies in our area that placed with same-sex couples, and I don't believe that my state will either. There were a lot of other restrictions as well; many agencies in our area won't place an infant if one parent is over age 40, for example, but I know there are some who do.

If you live in a more liberal area of the country than I do (I live in Virginia) you may have better luck with an agency, but I'd say you might start by finding an attorney who has handled same-sex adoptions before.

I live in Washington, DC. Coincidentally, Virginia is the one state that our social worker and attorney strongly cautioned us against trying to adopt in.

If we go the agency route, we will select an agency that has offices in multiple states that permit gay marriage and adoption. That will make things much easier.

 

[Prose]

We adopted 14 years ago through a private agency. We talked to an attorney, as well, but were much more comfortable with the way the agency handled it - it felt much less like 'buying a baby.' I am sure there are great attorneys out there that are better than the one we talked to, though.

What we liked was that the agency was there to help us every step of the way - informational classes, a social worker who was assigned to us and stayed with us throughout the process, help developing an album of photos and letters for the potential birth mothers to see, follow up, etc. Our adoption was partially open - we met the birth mother, birth father and the birth mother's mom (birth mother was a teen). but we didn't have to share last names or any other identifying info. All correspondence goes through the agency, and they handled all requests from the birth parents for money. We had a flat, set fee to pay. It was a great experience.

 

[dakcp2001]

I know a same sex couple who did surrogacy, used the sperm from one partner and an egg from the sister of the other. The children look like both of them, and they are a"happily ever after" with a beautiful happy family!

Best of luck on this endeavor! Your Dis family is here if you need to vent or have any questions, we are here for you!

 

[Robbi]

Worked with an agency for 3 or 4 years without success. We met with a private attorney in August 1993, had a birth mother in Oct. 1993, and took our 1 week daughter home on February 23,1994. Our attorney has since retired. He started doing adoptions when working in family law so if you can't find a specialist adoption attorney, start with someone in family law.
The adoption agencies will probably tell you to put ads in papers, Facebook, etc. I don't know of one person that's helped- not to say it never helps. If you have ob-gyn friends, nurse friends, parents of teenagers, or family doctor friends, talk to them.

 

[LukenDC]

Best of luck on this endeavor! Your Dis family is here if you need to vent or have any questions, we are here for you!

Don't I know it! I love the DIS and it has been a wonderful resource above and beyond Disney trip planning. I'm very grateful to be a member of this community.