Addressing your own thank you card

[MaryAnnDVC]

Doesn't bother me at all. I've done it at most showers I go to. Seriously, there are bigger things to get upset about.

Was someone "upset"? I thought people were just expressing the opinion that it was tacky...very. And honestly, whatever is posted on the DIS, there's usually something out there "bigger".

I think it's very tacky. I'm glad it's not only me.

So am I! This is one of those threads that could make me wonder whatever happened to etiquette. I'm glad to see the majority are on the "it's tacky" side.

You were also supposed to fill in why the bride was thankful for your gift and sign her name. You probably were too lazy a guest to do it, so shame on you. The poor bride can't be expected to do all that.

It's beyond tacky. And if the bride doesn't have all the addresses on hand, she might have to do a few minute's worth of research (gasp!) to find the addresses for the missing ones. Oh, the tragedy!

I had this happen with a cousin's daughter recently. I was sitting next to my elderly and very proper aunt at the shower, and I thought she was having apoplexy.

And I agree about the tackiness and the bride making a little effort.

 

[focusondisney]

Tacky

Here's another one:

Just received a thank-you note- it's a picture of the honoree at the shower and a generic thank-you for the gift and for being there to share her day computer printed on the card.
I sent a gift and couldn't attend. No thank you note would have been better.

Yep this is the next tacky thing. The generic picture thank you. I have relatives who are now doing this for everything. Weddings, showers & kids birthdays. No personalization what so ever.

We went to a wedding recently for a business associate of my DH. Son af a successful businesman. Huge affair, probably 500 people at least. Thank you arrived before the bridal couple was even back from the honeymoon. Generic text inside, preprinted with the couple's names & preprinted address. Boy, we felt special.

 

[Ceila]

I don't know if anyone remembers the movie Steel Magnolias, but there is a scene where Annelle is having a wedding shower amongst the small group of friends. Clairee was writing in the register who gave what (Meline, applique). Now obviously these were friends who knew where everyone lived so addresses weren't a necessity, but the act of making note of who gave what obviously was considered proper etiquette.

It's a shame that this doesn't seem to be done anymore.

This has been done at every single shower I've ever gone to, even the ones held at work. It's even done at the children's birthday we've gone to parties when the kids actually open their gifts at the party and not after.

 

[lg3]

I think it is very tacky for a bridal shower. I would give a new mother to be at a baby shower a little more slack.
A side note: I did attend a baby shower where we were asked to do that and was rather shocked, but did so. It turned out later that the new mom had no idea the person throwing the baby shower for her was going to ask people to do that and she was mortified. My ob/gyn's office now has us filling out the follow up visits for the following year. I'm not sure how I like that really. Is that keeping medical costs down? LOL

 

[Bluestars]

I think that is totally tacky. If they want the addresses they could have a pretty address book and ask you to enter in your information and give that to the bride, but addressing envelopes. I wouldn't do it.

Lisa

That's what I was thinking. I find addressing your own thank you envelope to be very tacky. I have never seen it done.

I think it would be better to have a guest book and let people sign in with their name and address.

 

[NikitaZee]

I think that is totally tacky. If they want the addresses they could have a pretty address book and ask you to enter in your information and give that to the bride, but addressing envelopes. I wouldn't do it.

Lisa

This is what they did for me at my first baby shower. The address book was given to me after the shower, with everyone's names, addresses, and phone numbers in it. I thought it was a great idea, and I still have the address book.

 

[Buckalew11]

I like the idea of the nice address book with up to date addresses in it.

However, if I went to a shower that asked me to address my own envelope, I'd have no problem with that.

 

[Buckeye Princess]

Please don't automatically assume that it was the bride/mom to be. At my bridal shower my maid of honor did this. I had no idea as she planned the entire shower without my input. I was embarrassed, but hoped that when I wrote the thank yous expressing my gratitude that my friends and family would overlook the addressing situation.

 

[Buckalew11]

True, she probably heard of it, thought it a good idea and went with it. I'm sure it happens a lot. Some people care and some don't. She didn't so she went for it. Probably should have asked you but I'm sure she thought she was *helping* you out.

 

[Scurvy]

Having the guests address their own envelopes is terribly tacky, as are the generic thank you notes that don't actually mention anything personal. I do really like the idea of giving the guest of honor a nice address book that everyone enters their information into, if it seems that she doesn't already have all the information already.

ETA - I know often the guest of honor doesn't know that guests are going to to be asked to address the envelopes until it actually happens. In that case, I think it would be better if she copied the addresses onto her own envelopes and sent those instead.

 

[Ceila]

ETA - I know often the guest of honor doesn't know that guests are going to to be asked to address the envelopes until it actually happens. In that case, I think it would be better if she copied the addresses onto her own envelopes and sent those instead.

And then we'd see ths post on the Dis: "Do you think this is tacky? I went to a shower where I had to fill out my address on the thank-you envelope. Then, when the thank-you came, the bride had written my address herself on a new envelope! Can you believe that? What, was my handwriting not good enough for her? Why did I both doing that when she was just going to re-write them anyway?!?"

 

[Scurvy]

And then we'd see ths post on the Dis: "Do you think this is tacky? I went to a shower where I had to fill out my address on the thank-you envelope. Then, when the thank-you came, the bride had written my address herself on a new envelope! Can you believe that? What, was my handwriting not good enough for her? Why did I both doing that when she was just going to re-write them anyway?!?"

True - I hadn't thought of that! I guess the poor guest of honor just can't win.

 

[chloelovesdisney]

I think it's efficient and don't mind at all. I'm happy at this point to receive a thank you card.

 

[wdwiala]

It would have been interesting to know people's area of the country along with their opions on the topic. It makes me wonder if it is a regional issue.

 

[ZuZugal]

It is probably a little on the tacky side, but I don't mind filling out the card at all.

At the last shower I attended we filled out the envelopes with our addresses and they were all put in a basket. During the shower envelopes were pulled out...those people "won" the little gifts that were given away. Guess they were put to use in more ways than one!

 

[Disney Doll]

This doesn't faze me a bit. I've been to a few showers where I've done it. I've also been to a few showers where I've done it and they have used the addressed envelope to hold a raffle. I thought that was a cute idea. You addressed your envelope, maybe got a little prize and the bride to be got all her envelopes addressed.

 

[Rora]

It's pretty tacky, IMO.

I'm a newlywed and didn't do this. I was working, planning a wedding and still found time to address my own thank you cards.

To each his own, I guess.

 

[PigletsPal2]

I've been to showers where I KNEW the honoree wouldn't ever get around to buying and sending out thank you cards, so I anonymously wrapped a box of TY cards and a book of stamps with a card saying "Open me last." I'm pretty sure the honoree never knew it was me, but all the guests received TY cards! (BTW, that wasn't my only gift...)

Queen Colleen

 

[happygirl]

Not a big deal to me at all

 

[PatsMom]

Put me in with the group who thinks having guests address their envelopes is tacky. I would do it and not be upset but I would think that it is tacky.