Addressing your own thank you card

[ksjayhawks]

Hostess can provide a list of addresses--I would actually hope that if a guest is invited, the honoree would know how to get their address anyway.

For the drop in shower, get the church directory from the grandmas, moms, etc or let them help with addresses.

 

[MAKmom]

Tacky I would refuse to do it.

 

[Handbag Lady]

I find it tacky.

 

[LisaInNc]

I think that is totally tacky. If they want the addresses they could have a pretty address book and ask you to enter in your information and give that to the bride, but addressing envelopes. I wouldn't do it.

Lisa

 

[pirateofthecarolinas]

I would agree for a shower like that, but mine was partially word of mouth, 2 whole churches invited through bulletins, etc. I hope that makes sense. In small towns in the south, particularly when you're from a politically involved family, things can get a little out of hand. The "grandma network" of phone calls and talking at the grocery store can mean that invites get to people that wouldn't get a mailed invitation.

I'm betting that people from big cities can't even begin to understand what I'm talking about. Things can be SO different...and the funny thing is, the small town group is the group that would NEVER do the self-addressed thank yous, but you need them more there!

I so know what you are talking about. The church ladies also included dish towels with every gift. I had a 20 year supply of dish towels. I thought it was a joke. I also find addressing my own TY note tacky.

 

[NancyK]

Add me to the people who think it's tacky. I wrote one out a couple of months ago and I still didn't get a thank-you.

 

[Kitty 34]

I think it's very tacky. I'm glad it's not only me.

 

[Pigeon]

Add me to the people who think it's tacky. I wrote one out a couple of months ago and I still didn't get a thank-you.

You were also supposed to fill in why the bride was thankful for your gift and sign her name. You probably were too lazy a guest to do it, so shame on you. The poor bride can't be expected to do all that.

It's beyond tacky. And if the bride doesn't have all the addresses on hand, she might have to do a few minute's worth of research (gasp!) to find the addresses for the missing ones. Oh, the tragedy!

I had this happen with a cousin's daughter recently. I was sitting next to my elderly and very proper aunt at the shower, and I thought she was having apoplexy.

 

[crz4mm2]

Doesn't bother me at all.
If I can help in some small way, then I will.

 

[mousey]

I find it tacky. I also filled one out at a shower several months ago and no thank you yet.

 

[rie'smom]

Tacky

Here's another one:

Just received a thank-you note- it's a picture of the honoree at the shower and a generic thank-you for the gift and for being there to share her day computer printed on the card.
I sent a gift and couldn't attend. No thank you note would have been better.

 

[OceanAnnie]

Tacky.

 

[powellrj]

It really doesn't bother me at all. I have seen them do it at showers for years, so I guess my tacky meter is set on low!

 

[Carly_Roach]

I agree with most here that think it's tacky to have your guests fill out their own envelope and even write what they brought and reasons for why the bride or mother-to-be is thankful for the gift.

I think that is totally tacky. If they want the addresses they could have a pretty address book and ask you to enter in your information and give that to the bride, but addressing envelopes. I wouldn't do it.

Lisa

If it must be done because people were invited from work or word-of-mouth rather than a mailed invitation, I would think the proper thing to do would be to have a guest registration book with columns for addresses and, perhaps, a short comment to the mother-to-be or the bride. This can be either set up by the door or circulated through the crowd. It can be passed off as both a lasting memory book for the GOH as well as a reference for sending thank you notes to the people who gave gifts, therefore not seeming as tacky as filling out your own envelope.

I don't know if anyone remembers the movie Steel Magnolias, but there is a scene where Annelle is having a wedding shower amongst the small group of friends. Clairee was writing in the register who gave what (Meline, applique). Now obviously these were friends who knew where everyone lived so addresses weren't a necessity, but the act of making note of who gave what obviously was considered proper etiquette.

It's a shame that this doesn't seem to be done anymore.

 

[MushyMushy]

I would never do it, but it doesn't bother me to fill them out at showers.

 

[aprilgail2]

Tacky

Here's another one:

Just received a thank-you note- it's a picture of the honoree at the shower and a generic thank-you for the gift and for being there to share her day computer printed on the card.
I sent a gift and couldn't attend. No thank you note would have been better.

LOL- when I started reading this I thought about something I did once for my daughters thank you's for Christmas gifts she was given. If it was clothes I dressed her in that outfit and took a pic, if it was a toy I took a picture of her playing or holding that toy and enclosed it in the thank you card for the gift giver- but I also wrote a personalized thank you note to the person and put the picture in the card- didn't just send the picture!

 

[bballmom56]

I don't know if anyone remembers the movie Steel Magnolias, but there is a scene where Annelle is having a wedding shower amongst the small group of friends. Clairee was writing in the register who gave what (Meline, applique). Now obviously these were friends who knew where everyone lived so addresses weren't a necessity, but the act of making note of who gave what obviously was considered proper etiquette.

It's a shame that this doesn't seem to be done anymore.

This is SOP in my area. I think the major reason being that the card with the gift giver's name can become separated from the gift, leaving the bride-to-be not knowing who actually gave her that specific gift.

 

[mjkacmom]

Back when I got married and had babies, this just wasn't done. However, a friend threw a shower for another friend, who was having her "oops" baby (her other kids are 6 and 7). It was more of fun night for us 40+ gals to be silly, and we filled out our own envelopes (with some creative names ). We had no problem with it - we were just happy that someone was having a baby!

 

[chicagodisneyfan]

Ignorant!

Just comes off as extremely lazy.

 

[Melmac]

I do think it is tacky and when I was married, I did not do this for my shower. I only had a couple of friends do this however. All of the invitations to my shower were mailed so I just got a copy of the address labels. Since I was writing personal notes to everyone in the thank you card anyway, addressing an envelope only took an extra 30 seconds.

I do not think it is tacky to have someone write on the back of a card what gift went with which card (and person). That way, I could remember who gave what and thank them for the item specifically instead of a generic response.