Academics vs. extracurriculars

[Mickey'snewestfan]

How do you decide how to balance the two?

My son is getting good grades in "on level" classes at his middle school, but putting in a fair amount of work to do so. He's become a very independent student, managing all his assignments on his own. He also plays rec soccer twice a week, and did tech for the school play this spring.

It's been suggested that he move up to "honors" in 3 of his 7 classes (2 classes don't have "honors" -- PE and arts, so 3/5 where it's an option). However, he's also decided that he wants to go back to playing hosuse league ice hockey (he took a year off when we moved to the new area last spring), and get more involved in theater. I worry that it will be too much for him.

So, I'm thinking of asking that he only move up in 2 classes, and not in science.

But then I think, "what kind of mother lets her kid choose ice hockey over honors science?"

What do you think? Am I right in supporting more of a balance for my kid, with sports, arts, and academics, or should I expect him to focus on the academics to the exclusion of other things.

 

[krcit]

I think balance is important. It also might be very overwhelming to go from all regular classes to 3 Honors. My oldest is in honors and AP classes(10th grade) and I saw the difference between the workload in regular vs. Honors. I would let him try the 2 classes and see how he does. I am going to let my middle dd stay in mostly regular classes if given the choice of honors. She has done really well in m iddle school but she is easily overwhelmed and her sanity is more important than the honors classes. Good luck with your decision.

 

[SpecialK]

I would do exactly as you're doing. Extracurriculars are important; that's where kids form friendships and gain a feeling of belonging. I think you've made a great decision.

 

[golfgal]

Since it is just middle school and his GPA doesn't matter, have him try all the honors classes and see how he does. If he doesn't like it or it becomes too overwhelming, move him back to the regular classes in all or some of them.

 

[Mickey'snewestfan]

Our school does this weird thing where certain middle school classes are factored into their high school GPA. I think that's crazy. So next year his foreign language, Chinese, will count.

Although I'd be fine with him dropping back to on level mid year, I don't think he would be. I think he'd feel like he failed and would be embarassed if the other kids figured out why he was moving. I think it would also bother him to bring home a "C". He got one C first quarter when he was still adjusting, and it still bothers him, even though he brought it up to an A for the next two quarters.

 

[princessbride6205]

What does your DS want to do? I think balance is important - it wasn't until you said, "Am I crazy" and phrased it like you were picking hockey over an honors course that I even thought of it that way. It's not as if you're saying it's okay for him to get poor grades so he can do his extracurriculars. I agree that's where he'll make friends, get physical activity and it's something he enjoys. As you say, 3 honors courses might be overwhelming.
Is there any problem with him being placed in honors courses in the future? Will these honors courses be counted as pre-reqs for anything the following year? If not, then I definitely would have him challenged with some honors work, but not worry about all 3.

 

[Mickey'snewestfan]

What does your DS want to do? I think balance is important - it wasn't until you said, "Am I crazy" and phrased it like you were picking hockey over an honors course that I even thought of it that way. It's not as if you're saying it's okay for him to get poor grades so he can do his extracurriculars. I agree that's where he'll make friends, get physical activity and it's something he enjoys. As you say, 3 honors courses might be overwhelming.
Is there any problem with him being placed in honors courses in the future? Will these honors courses be counted as pre-reqs for anything the following year? If not, then I definitely would have him challenged with some honors work, but not worry about all 3.

He really wants to take Chinese, and there is no "on level" Chinese. If he wants to get to the highest levels of Chinese in high school he has to start now, so that one seems like a good choice.

But for science and social studies, the two other classes where it's been suggested that he move up, I think he could move up after 7th rather than after 6th. I'll double check with the guidance counselor. If so, I'm thinking of having him move up in one but not the other.

He's worried about honors science, he's definitely more of a social studies kid, wants to be a lawyer or a diplomat or an FBI agent, so moving up in social studies makes sense to me.

 

[mickeysgal]

I have found that when my daughter was in marching band, her fall semester grades which was when marching band was in progress, were actually better than her spring semester grades. She had no choice but to structure her time better, focus, and get the work done. In the spring, where time is more abundant, they can fall into the procrastination trap, and slack off on the work/grades.

Other band familes have echoed this same experience.

 

[golfgal]

I have found that when my daughter was in marching band, her fall semester grades which was when marching band was in progress, were actually better than her spring semester grades. She had no choice but to structure her time better, focus, and get the work done. In the spring, where time is more abundant, they can fall into the procrastination trap, and slack off on the work/grades.

Other band familes have echoed this same experience.

I agree with this. During the school year our kids have band practice starting at 6:00 PM so they HAVE to get their homework done right after school. It sure helps teach them time management skills .

 

[bellebud]

Our school does this weird thing where certain middle school classes are factored into their high school GPA. I think that's crazy. So next year his foreign language, Chinese, will count.

Although I'd be fine with him dropping back to on level mid year, I don't think he would be. I think he'd feel like he failed and would be embarassed if the other kids figured out why he was moving. I think it would also bother him to bring home a "C". He got one C first quarter when he was still adjusting, and it still bothers him, even though he brought it up to an A for the next two quarters.

I totally agree w/ this... that would do more harm to his self esteem that it's worth. I like the balance thing... let him figure out whats "important" to him, and as long as it's moderate (not like "hey mom, it's really important I play xbox all day - LOL), let him decide w/ your guidance.

 

[mjkacmom]

My ds13 is on 4 teams every season (most travel), and participates in community theater. He is 3 out of the possible 4 honors classes, and has always been on the honor roll. If his grades were being affected by his activities, he would have less of them. So far, so good.

Although these things really don't matter much in middle school, I expect my kids to take honors classes in high school (dd14 has all honors, plus some excellerated honors). If he's going into 8th, see if he can do it all. Ds's friend plays hockey, many weekend tournaments away, hockey every night, and still does well in school.

 

[kamik86]

He really wants to take Chinese, and there is no "on level" Chinese. If he wants to get to the highest levels of Chinese in high school he has to start now, so that one seems like a good choice.

But for science and social studies, the two other classes where it's been suggested that he move up, I think he could move up after 7th rather than after 6th. I'll double check with the guidance counselor. If so, I'm thinking of having him move up in one but not the other.

He's worried about honors science, he's definitely more of a social studies kid, wants to be a lawyer or a diplomat or an FBI agent, so moving up in social studies makes sense to me.

The bolded is the most important part in your decision on which he should move up in IMO. If he wants to work for the government a foreign language will held ALOT, social studies and knowing about other cultures will also help. Science yeah the basics are still important but its not like he is going to need to take top level science classes to get into a good school for what he wants to do. If you had said he wanted to be an engineer I would say go the other way.

I would only have him move up in 2. Social studies and Chinese and not worry about moving up in science until you see how he does in the first two.

 

[jrmasm]

In our house, academic decisions are made with no consideration for extra curricular activityies. I expect rigor in my children's schedules but recognize that that they have strengths and weakness. A mixture of AP, honors and college prep classes are acceptable based on which areas they are strongest in.

 

[shortbun]

I can tell you that my son was encouraged to take AP/honors classes in math, science and english/humanities(which is a combined social studies-literature course). I approved science only because it's bio-chem, a two period course. He plays two sports and says he wants to get more involved in theatre this year. By senior year-in two more years-maybe he'll be doing all AP, maybe not. I've encouraged him to go slowly. I think the social is just as important as he grows.

 

[mhsjax]

How do you decide how to balance the two?

My son is getting good grades in "on level" classes at his middle school, but putting in a fair amount of work to do so. He's become a very independent student, managing all his assignments on his own. He also plays rec soccer twice a week, and did tech for the school play this spring.

It's been suggested that he move up to "honors" in 3 of his 7 classes (2 classes don't have "honors" -- PE and arts, so 3/5 where it's an option). However, he's also decided that he wants to go back to playing hosuse league ice hockey (he took a year off when we moved to the new area last spring), and get more involved in theater. I worry that it will be too much for him.

So, I'm thinking of asking that he only move up in 2 classes, and not in science.

But then I think, "what kind of mother lets her kid choose ice hockey over honors science?"

What do you think? Am I right in supporting more of a balance for my kid, with sports, arts, and academics, or should I expect him to focus on the academics to the exclusion of other things.

You are the same kind of mother that I am. My DD is in all pre ap classes this year, well for what is left of it. She has just made an all star cheer team and the commitment level is intense, but she LOVES it.

I had to pick next years classes, the school does also tell you that your life outside school is important and to consider that. She will be in honors algebra next year in 7th grade, (she loves math) She will be in pre ap science, but that is it. I took her out of pre ap history and english because there is a lot of reading, and can I tell you my child hates reading. She is very good at it, but can't stand it. I don't want her love of learning to be stifled by her hatred of reading at this point in her life. I do realize that she has to read and that she will have to for the rest of her life, but for now as a 12 year old, I think more damage can be done by forcing her into these classes.

 

[kirbsam]

Since it is just middle school and his GPA doesn't matter, have him try all the honors classes and see how he does. If he doesn't like it or it becomes too overwhelming, move him back to the regular classes in all or some of them.

love this answer. now is the time to find out.

 

[mhsjax]

Since it is just middle school and his GPA doesn't matter, have him try all the honors classes and see how he does. If he doesn't like it or it becomes too overwhelming, move him back to the regular classes in all or some of them.

The only problem here with us, and may not be for the OP, is that our school won't let you move during the school year, so if you decide it is too much during the first grading period, you are stuck for the whole year. They tell you for carefully consider your home life and the home life and social life of your child, because once in, you can't move for the year, you are stuck.

 

[golfgal]

The only problem here with us, and may not be for the OP, is that our school won't let you move during the school year, so if you decide it is too much during the first grading period, you are stuck for the whole year. They tell you for carefully consider your home life and the home life and social life of your child, because once in, you can't move for the year, you are stuck.

Our school says that too-mainly to keep people from jumping classes too often and making sure kids are serious about taking the advanced classes but in reality, they DO move kids as needed. I would be surprised if your school did not do the same, behind the scenes. I would have a very hard time not having my child take advanced classes at the recommendation of their teachers just so he/she could play hockey.

Keep in mind that these classes build on each other and if he doesn't do the classes in 7th grade, he will be very far behind in 8th grade and they may NOT let him move in 8th grade because of that. You are much better off starting in the classes, being realistic in your expectations and moving as needed then you are trying to catch up in 8th grade. Also, how will his 7th and 8th grade placement affect his high school placement? Will he be eligible for honors classes in high school if he doesn't take them in middle school--or more applicable, will HE be ready for honors classes in high school if he doesn't take them in middle school?

Our school "counts" some classes in middle school for high school placement but the grades for those classes do not show up on their actual transcript (language classes). Are you positive his 7th and 8th grade grades end up ON his transcript? If so, they will show up as classes taken in 7th and 8th grade and will have very little, if any, affect on his college acceptance. Not taking honors classes will have much more of an impact on that then getting a C in a 7th grade Chinese class.

 

[mhsjax]

Our school says that too-mainly to keep people from jumping classes too often and making sure kids are serious about taking the advanced classes but in reality, they DO move kids as needed. I would be surprised if your school did not do the same, behind the scenes. I would have a very hard time not having my child take advanced classes at the recommendation of their teachers just so he/she could play hockey.

Keep in mind that these classes build on each other and if he doesn't do the classes in 7th grade, he will be very far behind in 8th grade and they may NOT let him move in 8th grade because of that. You are much better off starting in the classes, being realistic in your expectations and moving as needed then you are trying to catch up in 8th grade. Also, how will his 7th and 8th grade placement affect his high school placement? Will he be eligible for honors classes in high school if he doesn't take them in middle school--or more applicable, will HE be ready for honors classes in high school if he doesn't take them in middle school?

Our school "counts" some classes in middle school for high school placement but the grades for those classes do not show up on their actual transcript (language classes). Are you positive his 7th and 8th grade grades end up ON his transcript? If so, they will show up as classes taken in 7th and 8th grade and will have very little, if any, affect on his college acceptance. Not taking honors classes will have much more of an impact on that then getting a C in a 7th grade Chinese class.

YOur school works differently, and no they won't let you move, I know people that have tried. As far as building on each other, my son started pre ap classes this year in 8th grade, except for math, he is in honors since 6th, and he has had no problem at all keeping up. And they will let a child that hasn't had honors classes in the past take them. Maybe not where you live, but here they will.

I come from a balance in my life school of thought. I won't have my kid tied down in middle school unless he or she wants to be. If other people disagree that is fine, but for us, it isn't. Now my older one is going on to one AP class in 9th grade, this is the only true AP class they offer for 9th graders. He will be in honors geometry and honors biology. He won't be doing honors english, he hates it and I won't have it ring down his GPA. He will survive and be successful in all areas not just school. Each child is different, and each person has to do what is right for their child.

ETA, and no they don't show up on his transcript, I don't think I ever said they did if I implied that, it was in error. Now DS's Algebra will, they had to take a test for HS credit. But as for my DD, I won't ask her to do pre AP english, because she hates it and I won't have it squashing her love of school in other areas, at this point in her life, she is only a 7th grader next year.

 

[LuvOrlando]

I like how you think OP. Academics are important but if your son has found his groove and is doing well with a fair amount of work then why push? I don't. My children are all in the top tracks with straight A's and I fail to see how pushing them harder will result in happier adults. They are not in honors because I don't want them there, I did it and it didn't improve my life one bit, it's prestigious I guess but after that what? No payoff in happiness.