A Plea: People Posting Confidentially

[stashbin]

Nobody is violating their privacy except them. Nobody is forcing them to put their private business out there. They do it themselves.

And as to the second bolded, yes. . . .YES!!!

The way I see it, a user ID on a message board is fairly anonymous anyway. If you have to create an alias to veil your anonymous user ID, that should be a sign to you that you probably shouldn't be posting whatever it is. If it is so personal in nature that you have to create another ID to hide your already anonymous user ID, then it's too personal in nature to be posting on the internet.

As far as outing someone. .. maybe it's a friendly reminder to the OP that they aren't as anonymous as they think they are. . .kinda like a PSA.

But this could be done in a PM don't you think? Unless the person gets personal satisfaction by publicly outing someone, what would be the point?

 

[ols386]

Nobody is violating their privacy except them. Nobody is forcing them to put their private business out there. They do it themselves.

And as to the second bolded, yes. . . .YES!!!

The way I see it, a user ID on a message board is fairly anonymous anyway. If you have to create an alias to veil your anonymous user ID, that should be a sign to you that you probably shouldn't be posting whatever it is. If it is so personal in nature that you have to create another ID to hide your already anonymous user ID, then it's too personal in nature to be posting on the internet.

As far as outing someone. .. maybe it's a friendly reminder to the OP that they aren't as anonymous as they think they are. . .kinda like a PSA.

Creating an anonymous i.d. here on the community board is so that the poster won't have to catch flack from stalkers.

There was nothing friendly about outing the op in the thread I'm thinking about right now. Nothing friendly AT ALL.

 

[Uncle Remus]

Creating an anonymous i.d. here on the community board is so that the poster won't have to catch flack from stalkers.

There was nothing friendly about outing the op in the thread I'm thinking about right now. Nothing friendly AT ALL.

Right!



Hey, I know who you are!!

 

[DEA]

Nobody is violating their privacy except them. Nobody is forcing them to put their private business out there. They do it themselves.

And as to the second bolded, yes. . . .YES!!!

The way I see it, a user ID on a message board is fairly anonymous anyway. If you have to create an alias to veil your anonymous user ID, that should be a sign to you that you probably shouldn't be posting whatever it is. If it is so personal in nature that you have to create another ID to hide your already anonymous user ID, then it's too personal in nature to be posting in the interwebs.

As far as outing someone. .. maybe it's a friendly reminder to the OP that they aren't as anonymous as they think they are. . .kinda like a PSA.

If so, then can't that PSA be a Private Service Announcement instead of a public one?

They are making an attempt to post anonymously. Whether this is possible or not, this is clearly their intention. They are trying to preserve their privacy while still getting help. Again, going back to my Dear Abby analogy, are those people who write in for advice, keeping their identities hidden behind signatures like, "Bereft in Boise" violating their own privacy by writing in for help?

I completely understand the position that no one should post anything private on the Internet (hundreds of online support groups functioning quite well notwithstanding). I do. However, not everyone does, and I think it can be a rude awakening in a time of great stress to find out that their veil of anonymity has been breached.

Perhaps the people making these anonymous posts are new to the whole Internet thing. Maybe they get a false sense of security. Maybe they think the "Disney bubble" covers stuff they post here. Maybe they think that people will respect their desire for privacy. Maybe they are mistaken about all these things.

Do they therefore deserve to be outed? Maybe even publicly humiliated? I just don't think so. And that is, clearly, the position in which people who post here anonymously (or try to) find themselves. They are of the belief that they can get help without their privacy being violated. I simply ask that people respect their wish for as much privacy as they can get.

 

[SaraJayne]

Creating an anonymous i.d. here on the community board is so that the poster won't have to catch flack from stalkers.

There was nothing friendly about outing the op in the thread I'm thinking about right now. Nothing friendly AT ALL.

Unless it's happened in the last few hours, the OP of that thread wasn't "outed".

 

[DEA]

Unless it's happened in the last few hours, the OP of that thread wasn't "outed".

There have been (some number > 1) threads on which this has been an issue. You may even be talking about a thread I haven't even seen at the moment.

 

[eliza61]

I have a different plea. If you have something so private you don't want your already obscure online persona associated with it the Internet is probably not the right place to put it.

Just sayin'

Gotta go with this one. It's the nature of the beast, internet opens up the possibility of intrusion.
The only 100% safe way to keep your privacy is to not play on the net.

 

[Aisling]

[/B]
But this could be done in a PM don't you think? Unless the person gets personal satisfaction by publicly outing someone, what would be the point?

People shouldn't post private things on the internet blah blah blah. But if they do, if you feel the need to OUT someone, you're a crappy person inside.

 

[SaraJayne]

Gotta go with this one. It's the nature of the beast, internet opens up the possibility of intrusion.
The only 100% safe way to keep your privacy is to not play on the net.

I agree with you and Frank. If you don't want people to find out who you are, maybe you shouldn't be putting it on the internet.

 

[Aisling]

And by the way, I've posted under a different name once to get advice for an embarrassing problem, and you know what, IT HELPED ME. I got tons of advice from tons of people with tons of different perspectives, something I never could have gotten off the computer.

So for those who say "why post your problems here" whatever, it's because IT CAN HELP. Duh.

 

[Aisling]

I agree with you and Frank. If you don't want people to find out who you are, maybe you shouldn't be putting it on the internet.

I agree with this.

BUT, I'm commenting on the character and integrity of the people doing the "outing". They're low-class slugs who get pleasure from hurting people. They should go back to junior high school where they'd fit right in.

 

[hambirg]

[/B]
But this could be done in a PM don't you think? Unless the person gets personal satisfaction by publicly outing someone, what would be the point?

I don't see it that way. The OP has already put their personal business out there. If they wanted it to be a private dialogue then they should have kept it private. KWIM?

 

[SaraJayne]

I agree with this.

BUT, I'm commenting on the character and integrity of the people doing the "outing". They're low-class slugs who get pleasure from hurting people. They should go back to junior high school where they'd fit right in.

That's your opinion. Reading this thread, obviously not everyone feels the same way.

 

[a1tinkfans]

I would think it's just common decency to NOT call someone out who is trying to remain anonymous. Do we need to be told that?

Simple, Common Decency. And yes, some apparently need to be told/reminded...sad commentary...
Tho I have not sought confidentiality, I think that these people deserve respect and ask for help, not to be ridiculed or "sought after" but really seek anonymity in the way they know how or feel comfortable. As one who has responded with (hopefully) honest answers/opinions for them, I hope they still feel comfortable to come here in an otherwise "mostly friendly" atmosphere to seek the solace they apparently need.
Kick people when they are down..Be Kind...geeze, is it really that difficult?

 

[Scurvy]

Unless it's happened in the last few hours, the OP of that thread wasn't "outed".

That's what I was thinking as well. Unless I'm mistaken about which thread most people are referring to (and I don't think I am, since this sort of discussion is now going on in that thread as well) no one ever posted the other person's real username. They just said it was easy to figure out who she is. I wouldn't consider that "outing" someone.

Now posting someone's username on a thread where they are trying to be anonymous is probably somewhat mean-spirited, unless the anonymous poster is clearly trying to stir up trouble. But pointing out that someone isn't as anonymous as they seem to think they are just doesn't seem like a big deal to me. Saying "I know who you are because you posted about this yesterday under your real name" doesn't give anyone any more to work with if they want to search for the poster than the poster has already given everyone. I don't see why someone pointing it out would make it any more likely that other posters will attempt to figure out who the anonymous poster is. If they are trying to puzzle out the anonymous poster's identity, they are probably doing it whether or not someone else says they've already figured it out.

 

[SaraJayne]

That's what I was thinking as well. Unless I'm mistaken about which thread most people are referring to (and I don't think I am, since this sort of discussion is now going on in that thread as well) no one ever posted the other person's real username. They just said it was easy to figure out who she is. I wouldn't consider that "outing" someone.

Now posting someone's username on a thread where they are trying to be anonymous is probably somewhat mean-spirited, unless the anonymous poster is clearly trying to stir up trouble. But pointing out that someone isn't as anonymous as they seem to think they are just doesn't seem like a big deal to me. Saying "I know who you are because you posted about this yesterday under your real name" doesn't give anyone any more to work with if they want to search for the poster than the poster has already given everyone. I don't see why someone pointing it out would make it any more likely that other posters will attempt to figure out who the anonymous poster is. If they are trying to puzzle out the anonymous poster's identity, they are probably doing it whether or not someone else says they've already figured it out.

Even though I'm pretty good at remembering details about people, I still have no idea who that OP is. And really, I don't care.

 

[Liberty Belle]

That's your opinion. Reading this thread, obviously not everyone feels the same way.

True, and it's interesting who does and who doesn't.

 

[SaraJayne]

True, and it's interesting who does and who doesn't.

Like I said earlier, the poster never "outed" anyone. They didn't say "OMG, this poster is Liberty Belle!". So I really don't see what all the fuss is about.

 

[Aisling]

That's your opinion. Reading this thread, obviously not everyone feels the same way.

Ok, the peopke who deliberately "out" posters are kind-hearted, nice people.

 

[DEA]

I don't see it that way. The OP has already put their personal business out there. If they wanted it to be a private dialogue then they should have kept it private. KWIM?

It is not the content that they want to be private (the dialogue). They are actively seeking a response. It is their identity that they want to keep private. "People Posting Privately" would have made for better alliteration, but is inaccurate for this discussion thread. Nor are they posting anonymously; there is material that can tie them back to some other data store that contains their real name. At best, it is an attempt at confidentiality, in the strictest sense.