A neighborly question

I agree with not feeding wildlife, but if it brings you joy then I would be tolerant of it. We had a wonderful neighbor for years who fed deer and there was a literal herd of 12+ deer who would come through her yard and into my yard every single day. They ate my flowers and set my dog off barking like crazy. And every time I looked at them I just would think, “LYMES LYMES LYMES!!!” But it made my neighbor very happy to see all the deer so we never said anything. We started using deer spray on our plants and got a white noise machine so the dog stopped waking up the baby barking at the deer. We maintained a lovely relationship with that neighbor and when she moved last year we stayed in touch... and the herd stopped coming around. Your neighbor has options like using squirrel deterrents or cutting down trees. He’s not helpless if you do continue to feed the squirrels.

I am a big fan of encouraging people to be adults and have adult conversations with neighbors. I would hope you would consider his request and if you objectively find that your habit is negatively impacting him, consider stopping. But I find it a little worrying that your neighbor said “it wouldn't be neighborly to continue now that I know it upsets him.” Your neighbor has the right to make a request and you have the right to consider it. I think it was rude that he implied you are under pressure to change your behavior or else risk your relationship with him.

If it was me and I truly loved feeding the squirrels... eh, life is too short to give up the harmless things that make you happy. But maybe try to do it out of sight of the neighbor.
 
If he's annoyed by the squirrels he can call a pest company. Maybe they have something to keep them off his property?
 

I'd be really annoyed if my neighbors were intentionally feeding squirrels. Here, squirrels will get into your attic and eat your wiring and into your house - we had one eat almost into my son's bedroom. We do everything we can to avoid feeding them, and have resorted to trapping and relocating occasionally. My neighbors do as well.
 
I vote for stop feeding due to damage concerns for anyone in your neighborhood.

They are still a wild animal. What happens if they bite you, a family member, or a guest?
 
Feeding squirrels brings in rats and all kinds of other critters.
I haven't found this to be true. I guess I've been feeding my squirrels for a couple of years now. What I did notice, that I never knew was that they eat these god forsaken "Palmetto bugs" aka: Glorified Cockroaches that live in trees...and FLY! I watched one of the young squirrels catch one in the grass and eat it! :crazy2: Had no clue. I'd rather have the squirrels around. Those nasty roaches are the worst thing about living at the beach. If you stay long enough at closing time at Disney, it's like they KNOW when the coast is clear. I was sitting on a wall with bushes behind me in Epcot once and we were some of the laaaast people there just watching everyone leave and I heard something rustling in the bushes behind my butt and I turned around and there were TONS of roaches eating spilled popcorn!! So many that you could HEAR them!:dancer::eek::faint::crazy2::crazy2::crazy2: (that was me jumping up off of that wall lol)
 
I think it's pretty interesting, from a pyschological perspective, that what the OP's neighbor did is construed as "rude." Are we that sensitive anymore??


I don't think asking the neighbor to stop was rude, but the last remark about, "Now that I've said something, YOU'LL basically be a jerk if you don't stop" definitely was crappy. Pretty much saying "Now you HAVE to, or else, see what I'll think of you?" It's already implied when he made his initial request. To mention it out loud is rude. Made me think, "Thanks Captain Obvious". I mean who would say, "Hey do you mind turning your music down?....btw, now that I've asked you, you know it bothers me, and if you turn it back up again, you're a jerk." Yeah....I got that part. :rolleyes2 lol
 
Let's put the feeding squirrels in another context.. What if you have a neighbor that simply left food garbage spread out on their lawn and it attracted all kids of wildlife... there all would agree you have a nuisance, a problem. As much as feeding squirrels seems harmless, it's the same thing.. As a human you just get more enjoyment by the one.. For the animals its really the same thing.. This house " territory" has food.
 
Lots of squirrels around here, I guess due to the oak trees. Anyone feeding birds is often also feeding squirrels. Between their acrobatics and the birds knocking lots of seeds to the ground, the squirrels do OK, even when not being fed directly. I do notice that houses with food sources do attract them, almost a parade of them coming from several directions at certain times of the day. They can get into other things too, digging in the yard, eating bulbs, stealing tomatoes, and now in the fall I see lots of pumpkins and gourds being chewed into. Thankfully I am not aware of them chewing into anyone’s house so far.

I am not one much for telling others what to do on their own property, but think everyone needs to take a look at the whole picture and decide what really is best for all parties.
 
In our last house, after living there for 12 years suddenly was attracting voles under our porch. We tried everything to get rid of them. They would be gone for awhile then be back. Other neighbors were battling them also. It sometimes looked like they were traveling from our porch to a neighbors garden. Both families knew this but we never asked them to stop the garden. We just were more vigilant with protecting our property.
 
I don't think it's ever "rude" for a neighbor to talk to another neighbor (in a friendly, respectful way) about a behavior that is bothering them or might possibly be impacting their quality of life. It sounds like the OP and her neighbor have a decent relationship and, honestly, I applaud him for approaching her directly with what's bothering him. It them becomes important, on both sides, to really think if your behavior is truly undesirable and does changing it harm you in any way but yet give peace to another.

Really, I'd love to see more civil discourse between neighbors such as in this example versus some of the other stuff I see: harrassing people online in neighborhood forums, reporting everything to the HOA, or setting up countermeasures without trying to resolve it like adults would have many years ago.

I think it's pretty interesting, from a pyschological perspective, that what the OP's neighbor did is construed as "rude." Are we that sensitive anymore??
:scratchin You know, after pondering your post I really like what you’re saying here. Not about squirrels necessarily but about community living in general. My initial reaction was that people should just live-and-let-live as much as possible; absorbing minor irritations themselves rather than passing them on. This is how I govern myself and I would be loathe to mention something like this to a neighbour.

Your approach though is actually superior for fostering a respectful and mutually cooperative environment. I’m not sure it isn’t just a tad idealistic but it is a pleasant goal to strive for. :flower3:
 
At my old house, my neighbor fed squirrels. I was forever finding peanuts in my flower beds. They also ate all the tulip bulbs I planted.

Animals will eat our bulbs regardless of whether anybody was feeding them other food. Crocus, snowdrop. daffodil... they are all dined on by squirrels, chipmunks, groundhogs, or other woodland creatures.
 
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Threads like this make me happy I’m not friendly with any of my neighbors (there’s no issues, we’ve just got the occasional wave hi neighborly relationship) . What people feel they can say to someone amazes me.
 
Your neighbor could get coonhounds to chase squirrels off his property. My 2 are the great, brave squirrel hunter/chasers. Then you'd have to listen to hounds baying next door which may get annoying after awhile...
 
Funny this thread came up when it did. We have lots of animals in our yard from time to time. We basically take a live and let live approach unless damage is being done. We are not fond of the skunks for obvious reasons plus the fact they dig up the yard looking for food. My neighbor was outside yesterday when my husband went out. The guy said he had just run off 4 deer from his front yard and asked if we knew anyone who wanted to bow hunt. My husband said he rather likes looking at the deer and it’s not legal to bow hunt in our city.
 
Your neighbor could get coonhounds to chase squirrels off his property. My 2 are the great, brave squirrel hunter/chasers. Then you'd have to listen to hounds baying next door which may get annoying after awhile...


Um, I have a coonhound and a beagle. 🐕 🐕 :rolleyes1

And the same neighbor is understanding about the noise, said to me that hounds bay. No big deal.
 


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