A neighborly question

[jo-jo]

We have a bird feeder that we had to redesign so the squirrel didn't get to it. But all they have to do is sit under the bird feeder and wait for the seed to fall. After this weekend , we plan to move the bird feed to a tree further out in yard and not fill as often.

 

[kymom99]

I don't think it's ever "rude" for a neighbor to talk to another neighbor (in a friendly, respectful way) about a behavior that is bothering them or might possibly be impacting their quality of life. It sounds like the OP and her neighbor have a decent relationship and, honestly, I applaud him for approaching her directly with what's bothering him. It them becomes important, on both sides, to really think if your behavior is truly undesirable and does changing it harm you in any way but yet give peace to another.

Really, I'd love to see more civil discourse between neighbors such as in this example versus some of the other stuff I see: harrassing people online in neighborhood forums, reporting everything to the HOA, or setting up countermeasures without trying to resolve it like adults would have many years ago.

I think it's pretty interesting, from a pyschological perspective, that what the OP's neighbor did is construed as "rude." Are we that sensitive anymore??

We just had that thread about the barking dog

 

[Christine]

We just had that thread about the barking dog

Yes, we did. Although, I do think that poster had tried to resolve the barking with the neighbor first, to their credit.

 

[kymom99]

Yes, we did. Although, I do think that poster had tried to resolve the barking with the neighbor first, to their credit.

Yes she did. And the neighbor didn’t go anything to help. Which is what happens if the OP keeps feeding the squirrels

 

[Jenniebee]

Personally I would not be feeding them, just my take on it. I have tons and tons of squirrels everywhere in my entire neighborhood and I don't give them a thing. They don't really need to be fed, they will survive fine either way.

However I do have a groundhog that eats my flowers, and I can't stand it. If I found out my neighbor was doing something to encourage it and make the groundhog more at home I would not like that at all. But I also don't think I would ever have the balls to confront them over it... so not sure what advice to give. If I were you I would probably just stop feeding them. I mean you don't really need to. If you like having them around they will still be there. Or maybe feed them something smaller like seeds and then the neighbor won't notice? Are they hurting his flowers or his property in any way? If so I would definitley stop.

 

[marcyleecorgan]

I see squirrels with peanuts all the damn time. Now peanuts are not native to Canada, so I know one of the neighbours must feed them. Maybe to keep them out of the food gardens? That's what I do with watermelon. You want entertainment, you watch a squirrel try to gnaw down a rind bigger than their body as they drag it up a tree. LOL

However, I am NOT going to stalk my neighbours until I find the one who is feeding them peanuts!
Your neighbour can go sit in his yard in a squirrel costume and sulk about how much Nature is terrible and horrible and unfair, waaaaaaaah.

 

[Hikergirl]

I don't feed squirrels and they bury stuff in my lawn and garden all the time. It has been this way forever.
I even have cats that sit in a lower level window that watch as they are doing it and the squirrels just go about their business, they aren't deterred at all.
I think even if you did stop, they'd continue to bury stuff in your neighbors yard. That's become their spot.

 

[mjkacmom]

Switch to dried corn. Problem solved. Squirrels get a treat but nothing to bury.

Other than the destruction squirrels cause when burying nuts, most of the "Don't Feed" arguments fall flat. In the eastern half of the US anyway, there are three types of squirrels to deal with.

• The Red Squirrel (that we always called Pine Squirrels) is the little guy. Just a bit bigger than a chipmunk. Red is an aggressive jerk, not playful at all, but he also doesn't really go after the larger shelled nuts anyway.
• The Eastern Gray. This is the bread and butter tree rodent. Depending on what's around to eat, this guy will be either gray or black or some combination.
• Fox Squirrel. The Lizzo of the squirrel family. Voluptuous, Beautiful, and entertaining.

What any born and bred Michigan squirrel hunter (I gave it up early, but was good at it in my day) will tell you is that squirrels are terribly territorial and they self police their local populations. Putting out feed will not lead to infestations. It will lead to squirrels from all the nearby territories making sorties on your feed and then taking it back to their home turf. The red squirrels are actually quite mean about it but the rest end up looking like they are engaged in a very serious game.

Despite being rodents, and really just like most free-dwelling rodents (outside rodents living outside) they carry little risk of rabies. And you aren't inviting them to chew their way into attics, that's something they would be doing anyway.

We have a ton of gray squirrels (and a brown one who jumps from hanging basket to hanging basket on our porch daily (8) and then goes to town on the walkway pots). We have 50 x 100 lots here with mature trees, the squirrels stay in their own yards, the amount of squirrels depends on the amount of trees, not who feeds them. I do not it when they drop acorn on me (or when they get into the garbage for the yogurt containers and then drop them from the trees). My dog runs around the yard a dozen times a day to chase and bark at them.

 

[John VN]

I don't think it's ever "rude" for a neighbor to talk to another neighbor (in a friendly, respectful way) about a behavior that is bothering them or might possibly be impacting their quality of life..................................... I'd love to see more civil discourse between neighbors such as in this example versus some of the other stuff I see: harrassing people online in neighborhood forums, reporting everything to the HOA, or setting up countermeasures without trying to resolve it like adults would have many years ago.

I think it's pretty interesting, from a pyschological perspective, that what the OP's neighbor did is construed as "rude." Are we that sensitive anymore??

first bold >> Our new backyard neighbor decided to skinny dip during DAYLIGHT HOURS revealing all to our DDIL. Finding it awkward with a face 2 face approach, DW wrote a letter mentioning what was observed and asking that he consider altering the swim time. Letter was sent Registered so we received notice of delivery and the result was he continued to swim during daylight hours but a fence was installed that blocked the view. He recently removed the fence; however, the hedges I planted now provides an Au naturel barrier.

second bold >> Present day thinking by many who simply feel that it's my property and I can do whatever I WANT even if it impacts your property and the ability to enjoy your life.

BTW -- we do not feed the wildlife.

 

[fly girl]

Just because your neighbor is opposed to something and tells you doesn't mean you are obligated to change what you do. What if he said he didn't like petunias/geraniums or wind chimes? Would that mean you can't have those things either? You also mentioned a fence, but I don't know the exact layout of your yard. Does the neighbor sit by the window all day watching what you are doing? Perhaps you could feed the squirrels on a different side of your house that he can't see. Honestly, anywhere that has certain types of trees (evergreen, oak, etc.) will tend to attract squirrels as a food source for their seeds. Unless you neighbor wants to cut down all of those types of trees, squirrels are a common wild animal you find in many places.

Not the same. Those don't wreak havoc on his yard. The squirrels are. Whether or not it is directly from OP feeding them remains to be seen. If it were me, I would stop feeding the squirrels as my good standing relationship with him is by far more important than the squirrels.

The thing is this ... you are living in a neighborhood, TOGETHER. It isn't always all about you. If your actions are impacting your neighbors (kind of like the barking dog post) then the right thing to do fix the problem. The neighbor sounded like he handled it in a very tactful way. He wasn't a jerk, he just let her know that even though she didn't realize it, the squirrels she is feeding is causing havoc on his yard. OP had no idea, and he knew that! So if I were OP, I would stop feeding them. It is simple, maybe a slight bummer, but in the scheme of life it really isn't that big of a deal.

 

[Skywalker]

Yes she did. And the neighbor didn’t go anything to help. Which is what happens if the OP keeps feeding the squirrels

Good point, we had a poster who asked her neighbor to stop his dog from barking...neighbor refused. Since polite requests didn't work, poster took matters into her own hands and bought a product that hurts dogs ears to make them stop, if I remember right?

So, what if the neighbor in this case, getting nowhere after a discussion, decides to take matters into his own hands and I don't know, buy poison or traps or a BB gun or something?

You can have happy neighbor and happy squirrels (elsewhere). Or mad neighbor and dead squirrels. Don't lure innocent squirrels to their death, OP.

 

[mjkacmom]

Ok I just read an article that said one reason not to feed squirrels is that if you stop, there is a strong chance they will destroy neighboring properties.

 

[mefordis]

So was out talking to a neighbor at the fence. He asked what it would take to get me to stop feeding the squirrels. Seems they are hiding nuts in his lawn and he is not a fan.

I've been feeding the squirrels and birds for years and years. This is the first I have heard of it offending anyone. And he also said it wouldn't be neighborly to continue now that I know it upsets him.

The squirrels run to me when I'm out in my yard and I find them very cute. It would make me sad to stop feeding them.

What would you do?

Can you feed them out if his line of sight?

 

[ohiomom28]

Squirrels were eating all of the sunflower seeds we had out for the birds until we put baffles on the poles. We have had a buckeye tree sprout in our yard every year from squirrels burying in our yard. Sunflowers too.

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

Just because your neighbor is opposed to something and tells you doesn't mean you are obligated to change what you do. What if he said he didn't like petunias/geraniums or wind chimes? Would that mean you can't have those things either?

That kinda becomes the issue when these discussions happen. When people bring all sorts of other things to the table (even the OP saying mentioning the fire pit as a direct internal response to someone bringing up something they don't like that they are doing even if it indeed has been bugging them for a while) it just becomes a distraction here. The neighbor isn't saying "I don't like the sight of squirrels" (akin to your flower comment) or "I don't like the sound of squirrels" (akin to your wind chime comment). Couple that with the inevitable "can't have" aspect it's not really the same things being discussed. I'm not completely on the neighbor's side either not because of his approach but because there's no guarantee the squirrels won't still continue to mess up the yard but at the same time it's not about bringing all the other things one can think of in a "what if" thing.

 

[disykat]

For me, the wildlife is the issue. Obviously we need to coexist with the wildlife, but we don't need to send out an invitation.

I actually took out flowers - and not even because I was asked to. For years, my neighbors had lovely day lilies. I received a gift of one lily plant and promptly planted it in my front yard. The very next day my lilies had obviously been chewed on by deer. The following day, her lilies, which had never once been disturbed prior to me planing mine, were decimated. (the neighbor didn't have to tell me, I could SEE it.) The deer smelled mine, came into my yard to eat them and from there smelled hers. I had unknowingly created a "pipeline" to her beautiful flowers from an open space beyond my yard. I immediately removed mine and removed the issue. Her lilies recovered and she has never again had an issue.

To me it was clear, I don't do something that invites wildlife into my neighbor's yard. When we had a bear in the neighborhood going after trash, most of us moved our trash cans in our garages except for garbage pick up day. I've got to say we did not have a favorable impression of the neighbors who wouldn't. Bear gets into trash and knocks it over, then racoons, rats, etc. follow.

 

[brockash]

So was out talking to a neighbor at the fence. He asked what it would take to get me to stop feeding the squirrels. Seems they are hiding nuts in his lawn and he is not a fan.

I've been feeding the squirrels and birds for years and years. This is the first I have heard of it offending anyone. And he also said it wouldn't be neighborly to continue now that I know it upsets him.

The squirrels run to me when I'm out in my yard and I find them very cute. It would make me sad to stop feeding them.

What would you do?

Lol...I mean honestly just him making statements like that would really make me not want to really stop doing something I enjoy.

I've never heard of ppl feeding squirrels, but maybe a happy medium could be that you don't do it quite as often.

 

[brockash]

Ok I just read an article that said one reason not to feed squirrels is that if you stop, there is a strong chance they will destroy neighboring properties.

Well now she's stuck...lol.

 

[PrincessShmoo]

You want entertainment, you watch a squirrel try to gnaw down a rind bigger than their body as they drag it up a tree. LOL

Oh, no! Now I'm worried about the one watermelon we've managed to get growing in our garden!!!!

There are a whole lot of squirrels in the neighborhood (at least 4 of them living in the huge city tree in front of our house alone), and they use our cinder block fence as part of their highway around the neighborhood. But, our next door neighbor has a cat that she's deemed large enough to let out to roam the neighborhood and it patrols our backyard on a frequent basis. I've not seen as many squirrels running the fence as I used to.

Maybe my watermelon is safe........

 

[maxiesmom]

I think I will try to find some critter chow or corn. Thanks for all the opinions and suggestions. I don't want my neighbors to hate me.