A man in the women's dressing room...what would you do?

[chicagodisneyfan]

men in dressing room do not bother me - unless they are peeping toms!

A few years ago my mom broke her arm and had surgery several weeks before a cruise. She could not dress herself and needed new clothes. What they did at the stores they were shopping at (Nordstrom and NM) was announce that a man was walking in (so everyone could stay in their changing room),then took my parents into the first or second room. Mom and dad did not leave the room as numerous outfits were tried on. When ready to leave, the salesperson made another announcement "man in the dressing room".

This seemed to work well and alleviate anyone walking around half dressed without knowing a man was there.

 

[Beth E. (NJ)]

I think it would depend on the style of dressing room for me. Some TJ Maxx and Marshall's around here have wooden doors that go to shoulder height. If anyone came close to them they could easily see over. I might be upset to see a man standing in the aisle of the fitting room - but I wouldn't worry unless I saw him coming close to my door.

Others have just curtains for doors and in that case it would bother me because they dont close well and someone just walking past to get to another fitting room could cause mine to blow opened. I would not be a happy camper in that situation.

 

[JunieJay]

I think it would depend on the style of dressing room for me. Some TJ Maxx and Marshall's around here have wooden doors that go to shoulder height. If anyone came close to them they could easily see over. I might be upset to see a man standing in the aisle of the fitting room - but I wouldn't worry unless I saw him coming close to my door.

Others have just curtains for doors and in that case it would bother me because they dont close well and someone just walking past to get to another fitting room could cause mine to blow opened. I would not be a happy camper in that situation.

Almost all of our dressing room doors in stores around here are like you described. And I am almost 6 feet tall, so those "shoulder" height doors are more like waist length for me!!

 

[cardaway]

I'm still shocked that many women thought it was just fine to bring boys into a womens restroom and have a problem with somebody in a dressing room. IMO there is far less privacy in most rest rooms and people are far more exposed.

IMO a "womens" dressing room and restroom should be just that, no exceptions.

 

[Beth E. (NJ)]

But here is another situation that is similar.

A couple of years ago I was dress shopping at Loehmann's. It is a woman's store known for it communal fitting rooms. So the fitting room is basically a big room with mirrors on the walls and hooks and all the woman get changed together. Lately they have installed some separate stalls as well -- if you are lucky you can get one of them.

They have added men's departments and now have mens fitting rooms, but not being male I've never been in them and have no idea what they are like.

So I was lucky enough to be in a private stall -- with a slotted wooden door. Due to the angle of the slotting I could see out if I tried, but no one could see it. This allowed me to see some of what transpired.

There were a couple of woman using the communal section of the fitting room -- which was right across from the stalls. I heard a voice and it was coming closer. I realized it was a male voice. It went into the stall right next to mine. The man was there with a woman and a baby in a stroller. When he walked in there was at least 1 woman in her bra in the communal section. Also, in the stall he could look out between the slats and see any woman in the communal area getting dressed.

The woman working the dressing room had special needs and while she was very nice and did a good job in the fitting room, she did not have the ability to say to the man you cannot be here. The woman in the communal area quickly got herself a stall and I stayed in mine only coming out to use look at my dresses in the other mirrors. He stayed in the fitting room for a short time and then they left. We (the other shoppers in the fitting room.) were shocked. I found the manager and told her what happened. She was really mad that a man was in the fitting room. She was going to speak to the fitting room attendant and let her know that it was not allowed and she should tell someone if it happens again. She wanted to speak to the man, but they left the store after leaving the dressing room.

That type of store is not the place for a man in the ladies fitting room.

 

[dcgrumpy]

IMO a "womens" dressing room and restroom should be just that, no exceptions.

no exceptions?

So if a woman is out alone with her 4yo son, she should just leave him alone?

 

[Chattyaholic]

I'm still shocked that many women thought it was just fine to bring boys into a womens restroom and have a problem with somebody in a dressing room. IMO there is far less privacy in most rest rooms and people are far more exposed.

IMO a "womens" dressing room and restroom should be just that, no exceptions.

So if you feel there should be "no exceptions" for men going into a women's restoom, my elderly mother should not bring my elderly father, who has alzheimer's and parkinsons disease, into the women's room with her?

What are they supposed to do, stay home? What about traveling?

Before my father went to a nursing home my mother took him into the ladies room with her because he needed help. She took him right into the stall with her, it wasn't like he went first, then waited outside the stall for her, they were in the same one.

The stalls in bathrooms have doors that lock. You go inside, lock the door and do your business. Why should it bother you if my mother brings my dad in?

 

[Art Vandalay]

As a single dad of a young daughter, I feel the need to chime in. While I don't think it's a big deal, this is precisely the reason that if my daughter needs to pick, I'll take her to the men's dressing rooms (or bathroom) with me. Nobody cares over there

 

[JunieJay]

I definately think exceptions exist. Anyone under the age of 8 or so or anyone who is mentally or physically disabled accompanied by a female is definately welcomed in my restroom or dressing room. Like anything in life, its not black and white, but for the most part I prefer men use their own facilities to try on clothes and/or use the bathroom.

 

[Crankyshank]

Well then yes, this would bother me. I feel like I have the right to come out of the dressing room and look in the mirror and adjust my clothing without having a man in the dressing room. And I feel like my right to be comfortable in a dressing room trumps your right to have your husband in there with you.

Different strokes, I guess. Fortunately, it was only one time in all my years trying on clothes that I've encountered a man in the dressing room. Hope its the only time too.

You wouldn't try clothes in this store on then. Like I said, it's in the main floor which means any additional mirrors would also be on the main floor. Anyone shopping in the store, men included, would be able to see someone checking themselves in the mirror. It is the only type of store I have ever brought DH in with me and it has completely private locked doors with mirrors.

I'm not sure why you are going on about who's right trumps who. I never said anything about my rights superceding anyone. The OP asked a question and I answered it. I was never disparaging about anyone who was uncomfortable with it.

 

[MushyMushy]

I'm still shocked that many women thought it was just fine to bring boys into a womens restroom and have a problem with somebody in a dressing room. IMO there is far less privacy in most rest rooms and people are far more exposed.

IMO a "womens" dressing room and restroom should be just that, no exceptions.

I'm willing to bet the same people who have a problem with males in the restroom have a problem with males in the dressing room. I know I do.

 

[TurboKitty]

I wouldn't be bothered by a father helping his daughter in this circumstance. I know I'd also have a thought running through my head about his not seeing anything new to him, no matter my state of undress if he is a father. I just don't quite get the "eek, that perv might look at me" vibe some of you have.

As described in the opening post, he wasn't doing anything wrong or even turned his head or hinted at any sort of impropriety, yet he should be banned from access his daughter. I do not agree. I'm sorry you weren't comfortable with his presence, though.

 

[Mkrop]

I would not have a problem with it especially if he was helping his daughter. I know as a mom of two boys it is tough decision when to allow them to use the restroom and or dressing room on their own. I also know several dads who have girls and they too struggle with this decision if they take them anywhere solo. One dad who has primary custody told me it was a real pain and was so glad his girls were old enough now so that he could wait outside. Maybe this dad thought she was old enough to handle the dressing room solo and really had no intention of going in there but when she called him, he responded. I like the idea of someone even the dad announcing "hey warning guy in here just helping my dd will be out as soon as I can"

 

[suzannen]

I wouldn't have any problem with this. And, while I don't know the specifics of the OP's store, I know that the TJ Maxx near us does not allow you to walk out of the dressing room to show someone your outfit. Apparently too many folks just kept on walking or something. I think it's sweet that he was helping her. I can so see my DH trying to help my DD like that.

 

[flipturngirl]

We went swim suit shopping at Macy's last summer. My mom was trying on suits and my sis and I were waiting to see.. This guy came in with his wife and she was trying on the clothes with the door closed. ick.

 

[belle&beast]

I wouldn't be bothered by a father helping his daughter in this circumstance. I know I'd also have a thought running through my head about his not seeing anything new to him, no matter my state of undress if he is a father. I just don't quite get the "eek, that perv might look at me" vibe some of you have.

As described in the opening post, he wasn't doing anything wrong or even turned his head or hinted at any sort of impropriety, yet he should be banned from access his daughter. I do not agree. I'm sorry you weren't comfortable with his presence, though.

I never said he should be banned from helping his daughter, just that I was surprised he was allowed in the women's dressing room and it made me uncomfortable.

 

[belle&beast]

I would not have a problem with it especially if he was helping his daughter. I know as a mom of two boys it is tough decision when to allow them to use the restroom and or dressing room on their own. I also know several dads who have girls and they too struggle with this decision if they take them anywhere solo. One dad who has primary custody told me it was a real pain and was so glad his girls were old enough now so that he could wait outside. Maybe this dad thought she was old enough to handle the dressing room solo and really had no intention of going in there but when she called him, he responded. I like the idea of someone even the dad announcing "hey warning guy in here just helping my dd will be out as soon as I can"

I agree, he was not in there to peek at me. It was the element of surprise. So, had the attendant told me he would be in there, the surprise would have been eliminated and I probably would have waited until they were finished. I guess I am just more modest than some, but I really didn't want to be seen by a strange man while I was changing.

 

[Mkrop]

I agree, he was not in there to peek at me. It was the element of surprise. So, had the attendant told me he would be in there, the surprise would have been eliminated and I probably would have waited until they were finished. I guess I am just more modest than some, but I really didn't want to be seen by a strange man while I was changing.

Im pretty modest but bc I think I am a bit pudgy right now

But like I said I feel for people who have to deal with their kids who are the opposite sex. It is hard to figure out when it is safe or not to let them in there by themselves. As a mom of 2 boys I struggle all the time.

I think announcing it could have avoided your uncomfortableness but I bet drawing attention to himself made him uncomfortable. He probably wanted to just get in there help her and get out, IMHO

 

[Ladybison]

No exceptions? My son is going to be 8. When we are out alone he comes into the womens restroom and if we are shopping he comes into my dressing room. I will not send him into a mens restroom alone. Not with the increase of pedophiles out there. And as far as being in the dressing room- he isn't even concerned with what anyone else is doing. We are having a conversation about something else or either he is telling me that the skirt I just tried on should be a little longer. Of course I will not do this when he gets older but for now- I surely will.

 

[rigs32]

I'm willing to bet the same people who have a problem with males in the restroom have a problem with males in the dressing room. I know I do.

I somewhat disagree. I think a lot of the males in the woman's restroom controversy is about age - at what point is it inappropriate to bring a boy (preteen? teen?) into the restroom with mom. The dressing room issue has focused more on adult men.

I think a lot of moms who would not think twice before bringing their son into the woman's restroom would be uncomfortable with a grown man in the woman's dressing room.

For the record, I agree that there is less privacy in a restroom. I don't have a chance when nature calls, but I can choose not to try on clothing at the store. As long as my dressing room offers coverage, I wouldn't care about a man being there.

In all fairness to OP, the TJMAxx dressing rooms doors have VERY LITTLE coverage. I'm 5'9" and the doors barely cover my breasts. A 6' person would be able to completely see me if they looked in that direction.