A lady was mean to my 4 year old today..

[cabanafrau]

True, but if someone is having such a bad day for whatever reason and they want to be left alone, then they should find a way to make sure they are alone. Find a less crowded restaurant, go through the drive-through, eat on a bench, go back home or to your hotel room etc.....
She picked a McDs at lunch time and sat next to a child, her choice then she needs to deal with it. I have no sympathy for adults who can't control their emotions especially when they are expecting a 4 year old to control themself. These threads always amaze me when the adult who should know better gets a pass because of the *what ifs* yet the child is a demon because they dare do something they shouldn't. (not saying you feel that way, just an overall observation in these types of threads).

I'm just saying, maybe it's better to be a little less judgmental. Because you never know when you may be away from home, alone, & receive absolutely devastating news -- the kind that drives you to the floor & makes putting one foot in front of the other all but impossible. I am beyond grateful never to have been in this type of situation, but I am absolutely certain it has happened. Ironically the person I'm speaking of sought refuge in a cup of coffee at a McDonald's on the road. There was no mischievous/curious four year old involved, just complete & utter horror, heartbreak & shock.

My stomach absolutely turns at the thought of her being the grouchy old witch of questionable character this woman has been branded. I hope I'm raising my kids to leave room in their heart for some empathy/sympathy for someone who clearly has no right to sit next to them at McDonald's clutching her cup of coffee for dear life. I realize the four year old is not quite capable of empathy, but I would think(and hope) adults would leave room for life's knockout punches before judging someone so completely for emotions no one should have to learn to control.

 

[NHdisneylover]

I am not sure I see why anyone has to be the bad guy in this story
I see:

4 year old--being a bit rude but nothing over the top and being corrected.
Mom--correcting as needed
Lady--validly annoyed by rudeness of four year old and let him know without being mean (mean would be to tell him to shut up or call him a brat, etc) but not sugar coating either.

Should be essentially a non issue for all involved.

 

[Mermaid02]

You've never met them.

I'm not rude to them. But I'm not their friend. I don't want text messages from them. Don't want to have 'girl time' with them. I'll be nice, polite and welcome them into my home (despite the holes in the walls and broken items) but I don't need to be buddy buddy with them.

-------

We all have different tolerances. I actually don't see this lady as being terribly mean to the child. She asked him to stop jiggling the seat and then didn't want to engage him in a conversation with him when he asked her name. Why does she have too?

Did she scream and yell at him to shut up and leave her alone? Call him a brat?

That made me laugh! Touche!

 

[TwinsinCA]

The child was corrected and was then trying to be polite and make conversation.

When someone wants to be left alone (as this lady clearly did) striking up a conversation is not exactly "polite". My children never went up to random adults and asked them their name. I know the child is young, but that is rather intrusive and I hope the kid will know better next time.

 

[luvmy3]

Bottom line: People should be allowed to frequent whatever place they want and not have to worry about being bothered by a child. It is the parents responsibility to make sure their child is behaving and not bothering other people. A lot of us parents actually do that! What a concept!

I guess its too much of a concept to expect an adult to treat people with respect, including 4 year olds. I guess in this case the old woman's parents never took the responsibility to teach her.
There is never an excuse to be rude to another, and I would expect an older woman who has had most of their life behind them to know that. A 4 year old is still learning the ropes and in this case their mother was using it as a lesson to teach him how to not behave.

 

[inkedupmomma]

while I agree she had a right to be annoyed with your kid..i have to wonder, who says none of your business anymore lolololololol

But reality check, not everyone has to or is going to nice to your kid. If it bothered you so much you should have said something. Taking him to a pet store to distract him, instead of talking out what happened isn't helpful to him or you.

 

[mjkacmom]

True, but if someone is having such a bad day for whatever reason and they want to be left alone, then they should find a way to make sure they are alone. Find a less crowded restaurant, go through the drive-through, eat on a bench, go back home or to your hotel room etc.....
She picked a McDs at lunch time and sat next to a child, her choice then she needs to deal with it. I have no sympathy for adults who can't control their emotions especially when they are expecting a 4 year old to control themself. These threads always amaze me when the adult who should know better gets a pass because of the *what ifs* yet the child is a demon because they dare do something they shouldn't. (not saying you feel that way, just an overall observation in these types of threads).

I expected my 4 year olds to control themselves. A 2 year old - not so much. Some kids are annoying, and their parents think they're being so cute. My dd13 was one of those annoying kids who talked to strangers, and dd6 is the biggest flirt. I'm trying my best, but can certainly understand if people are bothered (BTW, now that dd is 13, she no longer talks to adults unless it is absolutely necessary ).

 

[dumboiu]

I guess its too much of a concept to expect an adult to treat people with respect, including 4 year olds. I guess in this case the old woman's parents never took the responsibility to teach her.
There is never an excuse to be rude to another, and I would expect an older woman who has had most of their life behind them to know that. A 4 year old is still learning the ropes and in this case their mother was using it as a lesson to teach him how to not behave.

The OP's kid was initiating the touching, talking, etc. This woman just wanted to be left alone!!!!!! How is it her fault???? The onus lies with the parent reading the cues of strangers and teaching their children accordingly!

Do you happen to have a child this age and experiences similar to the OP's? Inquiring minds want to know!!!!

 

[luvmy3]

I'm just saying, maybe it's better to be a little less judgmental. Because you never know when you may be away from home, alone, & receive absolutely devastating news -- the kind that drives you to the floor & makes putting one foot in front of the other all but impossible. I am beyond grateful never to have been in this type of situation, but I am absolutely certain it has happened. Ironically the person I'm speaking of sought refuge in a cup of coffee at a McDonald's on the road. There was no mischievous/curious four year old involved, just complete & utter horror, heartbreak & shock.

My stomach absolutely turns at the thought of her being the grouchy old witch of questionable character this woman has been branded. I hope I'm raising my kids to leave room in their heart for some empathy/sympathy for someone who clearly has no right to sit next to them at McDonald's clutching her cup of coffee for dear life. I realize the four year old is not quite capable of empathy, but I would think(and hope) adults would leave room for life's knockout punches before judging someone so completely for emotions no one should have to learn to control.

I don't know if this woman is a crotchety old hag every other day of her life, I'm not judging her that way. However I will judge her behavior in this incident and I think its awful that an adult could be that rude to a someone, much less a 4 year old child. I was rasied to be respectful of others, even if they were annoying, but apparently this woman felt that she was the only one who should have been respected in this case.

 

[glitterkittyy]

I guess its too much of a concept to expect an adult to treat people with respect, including 4 year olds. I guess in this case the old woman's parents never took the responsibility to teach her.
There is never an excuse to be rude to another, and I would expect an older woman who has had most of their life behind them to know that. A 4 year old is still learning the ropes and in this case their mother was using it as a lesson to teach him how to not behave.

I only saw that the mother corrected the touching of the purse. I don't see where she told him to stop tapping on the bench. I also don't see where she told him to leave the lady alone and/or to not talk to strangers. If my kids are annoying others (or ME), we leave if they don't stop. I don't want their behavior to ruin someone else's meal.

While I agree that "none of your business" is rather harsh to say to a small child, it didn't have to go that far if the mom had followed up with more correcting. JMHO

 

[inkedupmomma]

I'm still curious as to why this old woman sat next to child in the first place? kids are annoying..all kids. even those of you with perfect ones that leave stores immediately fresh behavior starts. this is not a secret.. so why did the lady decide to sit there of all places?

I know shes got a right to sit there, but the kid has a right to be annoying lol! I think both parties were wrong, mom should have stopped behavior out of courtesy to all, but the old lady should have been respectful in her choice of words. telling a child none of your business isn';t teaching the child anything but how to be nasty, which is just as bad as being annoying.

jmho!

 

[si-am]

I'm still curious as to why this old woman sat next to child in the first place? kids are annoying..all kids. even those of you with perfect ones that leave stores immediately fresh behavior starts. this is not a secret.. so why did the lady decide to sit there of all places?

I know shes got a right to sit there, but the kid has a right to be annoying lol! I think both parties were wrong, mom should have stopped behavior out of courtesy to all, but the old lady should have been respectful in her choice of words. telling a child none of your business isn';t teaching the child anything but how to be nasty, which is just as bad as being annoying.

jmho!

Kids have a right to be annoying? That's weird-- I never learned that as a kid. Guess my mom was wrong all those times when she told me to behave.

 

[nuke]

Because that's life. We're all sharing this small blue marble together and we are brought together at times we'd rather be alone. World peace begins with our daily interactions with other people. We should "man up" and be decent to one another, even if we don't feel like it.

You are so right and that includes not touching other people's stuff and minding your own business.

 

[luvmy3]

The OP's kid was initiating the touching, talking, etc. This woman just wanted to be left alone!!!!!! How is it her fault???? The onus lies with the parent reading the cues of strangers and teaching their children accordingly!

Do you happen to have a child this age and experiences similar to the OP's? Inquiring minds want to know!!!!

Did I ever say that what the child was doing was acceptable, NO. I am commenting on how the old lady handled the situation. And IMO an adult woman acting like that is far worse than a 4 year old tapping a seat and trying to make conversation.

Yes, actually I have 3 kids my youngest 6 and if I were in that McD's that day I would have told my children to stop (just as the OP did). My oldest 2 would have but my youngest probably would have pushed it to see how far he would get. If he continued I would apologize to the woman and dealt with his behavior the way I saw fit.
Then after we ate we would leave and I would have explained that some people don't like to be bothered and are very rude about letting other know, and you should respect them no matter how nasty and rude they come acrosss, and that they have just witnessed a perfect example of how not to act towards others

 

[glitterkittyy]

I'm still curious as to why this old woman sat next to child in the first place?

There could be lots of reasons:

It was the only table available.
It was the only table clean.
It was close to the counter so she didn't have to walk far with her tray.
It was close to the bathrooms.
It was close to the door.
She wanted a table where she could watch her car.
etc etc

 

[RadioNate]

That made me laugh! Touche!

I swear I'm not a grouchy horrible human being. There have been many incidents over the years that have taken their toll. These kids are not at all innocent and I might like them better if that hadn't repeatedly broken things in my home, lied to me, stole from me and been general pains in my rear.

Even thought I have children, and love my own, I'm not really a kid person. I wouldn't dare be a kindergarten teacher or nanny. I wasn't one of those teens that loved babysitting. Sorry.

Maybe this woman wasn't either.

Not everyone has to love your children. I don't expect my friends to hang out with my kids. I don't allow my kids to call my friends. My friends are my friends, not playmates for my children. My kids have their own friends (and so far only the one who googled porn on my computer has annoyed me.)

I don't expect anyone to entertain my child when we are out. But I've noticed that sometimes parents think that because you have kids you should be tolerant to the bad behavior of their kids. I'm understanding if the parent is trying to correct the behavior but less so if they aren't.

 

[FireDancer]

I don't know if this woman is a crotchety old hag every other day of her life, I'm not judging her that way. However I will judge her behavior in this incident and I think its awful that an adult could be that rude to a someone, much less a 4 year old child. I was rasied to be respectful of others, even if they were annoying, but apparently this woman felt that she was the only one who should have been respected in this case.

I have yet to have a day in my life where I was unwilling to interact with any child, even a stranger. Maybe I just have more patience with little kids, and 4 is still little. If a kids smiles at me I smile back. If one asks me a question I answer it. I don't have kids yet I am not annoyed by them. As long as the parent is doing what they can and not letting them run amuck I have no problems with them. Tapping on a chair isn't ramming a cart into them. Asking a name isn't shinning a spotlight on them and interrogating them.

I have found life is much more pleasant when you are pleasant yourself. Sometimes you can't control the situations life puts you in but you can always control how you react to them once you are an adult.

 

[Eeyore'sthebest]

There could be lots of reasons:

It was the only table available.
It was the only table clean.
It was close to the counter so she didn't have to walk far with her tray.
It was close to the bathrooms.
It was close to the door.
She wanted a table where she could watch her car.
etc etc

Or at my McD's you take tha table facing away from the scary looking guy that's always there. Then you all squeeze in on one side so no one has to look at him.

 

[merryweather20]

I've read the story over and over again and can't see for a second where the lady was being rude The woman's name was none of his business. I also don't give my name out to toddlers who are misbehaving in restaurants. I wouldn't have smiled at the child either. I would consider that to be encouraging his bad behaviour.

When I opened the thread, I thought someone would be reprimanding the OP's child or called him a name

I'm still curious as to why this old woman sat next to child in the first place? kids are annoying..all kids. even those of you with perfect ones that leave stores immediately fresh behavior starts. this is not a secret.. so why did the lady decide to sit there of all places?

I know shes got a right to sit there, but the kid has a right to be annoying lol! I think both parties were wrong, mom should have stopped behavior out of courtesy to all, but the old lady should have been respectful in her choice of words. telling a child none of your business isn';t teaching the child anything but how to be nasty, which is just as bad as being annoying.

jmho!

Being as she was elderly, I wouldn't be surprised if this was an "easy" seat for her. When I was healthy I would be quite happy to tromp to the other side of the store, or sit wherever, but thats not the case now.
It doesn't much matter the child should behave regardless, and the woman did nothing wrong. I don't see how "none of your business" is nasty, its the truth. "None of your business twerp" would have neem nasty.

 

[Scurvy]

Bottom line: People should be allowed to frequent whatever place they want and not have to worry about being bothered by a child. It is the parents responsibility to make sure their child is behaving and not bothering other people. A lot of us parents actually do that! What a concept!

Exactly!

When someone wants to be left alone (as this lady clearly did) striking up a conversation is not exactly "polite". My children never went up to random adults and asked them their name. I know the child is young, but that is rather intrusive and I hope the kid will know better next time.

I agree. I don't think it is ever polite for a child to ask a random stranger their name. I don't really think it's appropriate for the child to try to strike up a conversation, but I don't think it's that bad. Asking their name is very intrusive and rude, though.

the kid has a right to be annoying lol!

No, he really doesn't. Kids may have a tendency to engage in activities that can be annoying, but that's what parents are for - to teach them how to behave in public.

I am not sure I see why anyone has to be the bad guy in this story
I see:

4 year old--being a bit rude but nothing over the top and being corrected.
Mom--correcting as needed
Lady--validly annoyed by rudeness of four year old and let him know without being mean (mean would be to tell him to shut up or call him a brat, etc) but not sugar coating either.

Should be essentially a non issue for all involved.

I agree with this. Sure, the woman could maybe have been a little nicer, but nothing she said was actually rude. She didn't call him names, and her name really was none of his business. The kid shouldn't have been touching her stuff or asking her name but if the parent is trying to teach him to respect people's boundaries then hopefully he will have learned from this and he won't do it any more.