5/27/06 "Il pochi il fiero i blabbermouths" We *will* sail again Part 4

[Dancind]

So, it's only one hair-pulling kid per family? I guess we got lucky on our one shot! Actually, we did. Yeah, she drives us crazy, but like Nick, she's an entertaining one!

 

[justmestace]

How ironic is it, that the one thing I love most (other than DH and the kids) is to travel....and it's the one thing that causes me the most anxiety??

Freud would have had a field day with me.

 

[justmestace]

So, it's only one hair-pulling kid per family? I guess we got lucky on our one shot! Actually, we did. Yeah, she drives us crazy, but like Nick, she's an entertaining one!

No....they each have their moments. Trust me.

I'm really glad that everyone started talking about this, though. There are times when I thought that it was something we were doing wrong. Especially since all 3 of mine have had their share.

 

[justmestace]

Time to go....heading out to the gym with Jordan. There goes the rest of my day. Yet another thing no one mentioned about having kids....the running.

Kids are a lot like puppies and kittens, don't you think? They're cute when they're little.

 

[Dancind]

But with dogs and cats, you don't spend years shuttling them around.

 

[WVMD]

Freud would have had a field day with me.

I'm speechless...... The things I could say.......



Virgil
TFD

A T.O.P. with Sigmund and Stacey!!!!

 

[scuba.mom]

she doesnt know about the cruise...The thing about her is that she has no fear of consequences..It is like it makes no difference to her...

Well we can sure relate to that problem. We have two very different children in terms of "raw" intelligence and demonstrated ability. Matthew has the "raw" intelligence - he hasn't meet a standardized test that he doesn't like (HA HA). However, please don't ask him to do his assignments and turn them in - that is too much effort. We have fought this battle with him for years (and I do mean years). He can do well when he "chooses" to, it is not always his choice unfortuantely. If you have ever seen the movie - Good Will Hunting, I can so relate to one character telling the other - "Man, you are sitting on a lottery ticket (his intelligence) and you refuse to cash it!!"
Lisa on the other hand is such a hard worker. She tries hard and works for the success she has in school. She does well each year on her standardized tests, but no where in the best of the best category her brother tends to acheive.
In order to motive Matt we have bribed, cajoled, threatened, taken away, .. . . . nothing has worked. If anyone has found the answer to this dilemna - let us know.
t

 

[whnim64]

Stacey,
Thank you for taking the time to post this advice,based on your experience. I really appreciate it, and I will keep all this in mind when I meet with her teacher. Unfortunately, the 1st year this happened (1st grade) I thought it was her teacher. I did not care for the teacher, but I got Taylor started on Concerta and it seemed to help.Last year in 2nd grade, she had a much nicer teacherm but the same problem. Now again in 3rd grade same problem...the ony time that she had a teacher that was great with her was in K. But I talked with that teacher, and she had a son a lot like Taylor, so she really encouraged and inspired Taylor. She would accentuate the postive about her (creative, smart, etcetc etc) I wish she were still her teacher....

Boy does all of this sound familiar. Caleb was diagnosed with moderate/sever ADHD in kindergarten. He was on Concerta, but developed too many side effects. He's been on Strattera for almost 2 years, now. He went from a 10 slim to a 12 husky after being switched! The Strattera helps a lot. He's matured so much since 3rd and even 4th grade; we haven't had nearly as much fighting over homework in 5th grade. I also insist on a conference with the teacher at least once a month, but haven't needed it so far this year.

Again, I can't emphasize enough, bribery works! John Rosemond would never approve, but I firmly believe he didn't raise any kids like ours!

I can't stand to read his column! Caleb had a terrible time in the Lutheren School system (k - 2) because they could not deal with his ADHD. He had a great transition to 3rd grade public schools, had a very good 4th grade teacher that taught organization, and is continuing on that track in 5th. He did 'outgrow' his Strattera in 4th grade, though, and had to have his dosage increased.

 

[scuba.mom]

It's so natural now, I don't think we even notice it anymore. But Jim should chime in about some of his bribery techniques. He's got some good ones, though I think some of them are more for him (like a certain diving trip to the Great Barrier Reef).

You would think that was a "big" enough bribe, but unless he "pulls it together" and he absolutely can - neither Jim nor Matt will be seeing that part of the world on Jim and my "dime". I guess, Jim and I will have to hit Austrailia when the kids go to college. But, I know that would REALLY disappoint Jim. He wants to go with his "dive buddy".

Now bribery works big time with Lisa. A new leo for XX All Around Score at a meet, $20 for all A's at school, whatever.

 

[Dancind]

Well, there goes my bribery theory. Only one thing is certain, they are all different. I would think the Australia trip is too far away, though. Matt must be one of those kids that don't care if things get taken away, but the jeep keys might give you a little more leverage! Of course, when you get used to them driving themselves around, it's more like you're the one being punished!

 

[Dancind]

I am hoping, though, that this alternative charter (performing arts) school is the ticket for Alicia. Number one, it's really small, and so easy to get in touch with her teachers, and they know exactly who she is and what she's been up to. The curriculum is accelerated, the classes are longer, they have the opportunity to do work at school. If the teacher actually REQUIRES them to do the work when given the opportunity (we had to ask one teacher to require it), she does it. And she starts the day with vigorous exercise, advanced ballet, and I think that helps a lot too. Beyond that, it's a school full of bright, creative children, so the teachers are either geared toward teaching kids like that anyway, or they have adapted. They all LOVE teaching at the school, the kids like the teachers, the new principal is fantastic. The only down side so far, it's taking Alicia a while to find her niche, a close group of friends. Most of them have been together since 6th grade, and she's new. But she seems to be chipping away at it.


Sorry, everyone. I guess we WEREN'T done!

 

[dzneprincess]

Ok guys, I was so hoping this would get easier with age.. I guess not :-( sigh.....

 

[whnim64]

What do you mean a diagnosis? Like something on paper? No, I do not. So taking something like that will help me?

We had DS diagnosed by a child psychologist after the school called in Lutheren Family Services to his class to have him observed. The psychologist did a 2 hour evaluation and diagnosed him after that, even though she said that she rarely gives a diagnosis after the 2-hour testing.

Let me clarify the bribery plan a little bit. It's not anything major, it's just immediate. I do give her $20 for an A on her report card (offset by any C's), but that's a little long term. You just have to look at things from the opposite direction. Instead of taking away a favorite game or music time if they don't do what they're supposed to, you promised time to do the favorite game or music if they DO what they're supposed to. Making my DD do "homework busywork" would NEVER have worked. She would have been so MAD. Really, it's just trial and error with these kids. The one thing that DOES NOT work is the thing that every teacher, and other parents, will tell you to do. That is, "they have to learn to sink or swim". They always, always sink. So here we are wondering how long we have to micro manage their studies. I can tell you that I'm seeing signs, in 9th grade, that my daughter HATES having me supervise her schoolwork. So that's sort of a motivation there. We still check web sites, demand progress reports, look at her planner (not there's anything there usually, though I do bribe for planner use), and occasionally get involved in major projects (like last weekend), but she does do most of it herself. If she tells me she has homework, I demand that she does it soon after getting home from school. But I no longer have to sit there and WATCH her do it, like I did when she was younger. That's progress, right?

I had a 'mommy store' when DS was younger. Every once in a while he asks if I can do that again. I printed 'mommy money' on business card stock. He earned 'mommy money' for homework, chores, etc. and then could go shopping at the mommy store (stuff from the dollar stores, clearance items, etc.). Now when he does homework, we have him finish x amount and then take a 10 minute break. That has been working well for him.

Hey, everybody else, I think we're done with this line of discussion now. You can come back!

Sorry, I put in my 2 cents worth before I got to this post.

 

[dzneprincess]

I am hoping, though, that this alternative charter (performing arts) school is the ticket for Alicia. Number one, it's really small, and so easy to get in touch with her teachers, and they know exactly who she is and what she's been up to. The curriculum is accelerated, the classes are longer, they have the opportunity to do work at school. If the teacher actually REQUIRES them to do the work when given the opportunity (we had to ask one teacher to require it), she does it. And she starts the day with vigorous exercise, advanced ballet, and I think that helps a lot too. Beyond that, it's a school full of bright, creative children, so the teachers are either geared toward teaching kids like that anyway, or they have adapted. They all LOVE teaching at the school, the kids like the teachers, the new principal is fantastic. The only down side so far, it's taking Alicia a while to find her niche, a close group of friends. Most of them have been together since 6th grade, and she's new. But she seems to be chipping away at it.


Sorry, everyone. I guess we WEREN'T done!

Diana,
it sounds like you all were really blessed to be able to get Alicia into this school! It sounds like an all around great thing. I think Taylor would excel in this type of school as well, too bad we dont have one in our county.

 

[Dancind]

And thanks, Sharon! I need to put Good Will Hunting on my Netflix queu. Good one for Alicia. But I'm thinking it was rated R?

 

[Dancind]

Charter schools are really new here, Amanda. Just the last four years, I think. School systems tend to fight them, but they are really the best thing for some kids. Maybe your state will pass a charter school program in the next few years.

 

[dzneprincess]

Well we can sure relate to that problem. We have two very different children in terms of "raw" intelligence and demonstrated ability. Matthew has the "raw" intelligence - he hasn't meet a standardized test that he doesn't like (HA HA). However, please don't ask him to do his assignments and turn them in - that is too much effort. We have fought this battle with him for years (and I do mean years). He can do well when he "chooses" to, it is not always his choice unfortuantely. If you have ever seen the movie - Good Will Hunting, I can so relate to one character telling the other - "Man, you are sitting on a lottery ticket (his intelligence) and you refuse to cash it!!"
t

In RE to the above, I want to share a bit of the note from Taylors teach that I got last night

"We are deeply concerned about Taylor. There is absolutely no reason why she is not progressing satisfactorily in the 3rd grade. She is smart and certainly has the ability to do everything that is required of her. Taylor is either choosing not to do what she is told/and/or she is not listening and paying attention. Consequences dont seem to matter to her. SHe does what she wants most of the time and uses excuse after excuse for not having her work."
(of course teacher wrote with much better splling than me! HAHA)

THe part in blue concerns me, becasue it seems as though the teach thinks she is doing this n purpose.....

 

[whnim64]

My (not so) little guy is under the weather today. He wasn't feeling well when he got up, but thought he was just hungry. Well, that wasn't it... That means his Strattera came up with breakfast. One of his ADHD symptoms is non-stop talking; a true blue blabbermouth. He's been doing that between naps. We didn't take him off of his medicine over the summer, and it was a good choice for us. He definitely doesn't have a problem with his appetite! He doesn't 'live' for screen time, but it does give him a little nudge.

 

[dzneprincess]

Sandi, I am sorry CJ is feeling bad today. :-( My CJ is at school today, along with the other 2.

 

[dzneprincess]

We had DS diagnosed by a child psychologist after the school called in Lutheren Family Services to his class to have him observed. The psychologist did a 2 hour evaluation and diagnosed him after that, even though she said that she rarely gives a diagnosis after the 2-hour testing.
I had a 'mommy store' when DS was younger. Every once in a while he asks if I can do that again. I printed 'mommy money' on business card stock. He earned 'mommy money' for homework, chores, etc. and then could go shopping at the mommy store (stuff from the dollar stores, clearance items, etc.). Now when he does homework, we have him finish x amount and then take a 10 minute break. That has been working well for him.
Sorry, I put in my 2 cents worth before I got to this post.

Sandi, I love reading everyine's ideas and advice.