20lbs vs 200lbs

[wdwfan16]

Try to alter his family favorite mexican dishes to remove the fat.

Find mexican dishes that are higher in vegetables.

He is a grown man so it is really up to him what he wants to eat. No adult can make him changes his diet.

When one lives with his mommy and moves his GF in with him he has to accept that his mommy can do as she please in her kitchen.

 

[SandrA9810]

Sorry I'm not as talented as you are when it comes to quoting.

Let's me play the devil's advocate here. Let's assume you had the 2 slices of bacon, the 2 eggs scrambled without any added fat, and a regular english muffin, dry... that would be the smallest portion of the breakfast you mentioned.

2 large eggs = 150 calories

2 thin slices bacon = 80 calories

2 oz english muffin = 140 calories

Not bad at 370 calories.... but that is assuming everything dry (no butter, no margarine, no jam) and assuming the smallest of the portions you mentioned, and no drink (no coffee with cream/sugar, no juice, no milk).

2 eggs and an english muffin is usually standard for breakfast. Bacon is a treat, and only 2 slices every once in a while. I don't drink milk, just OJ, and he'll either drink OJ or water. And I don't use any butter on anything for breakfast. He's actually not a fan of most common seasoning like butter, salt, or pepper.

For dinner meats, 4 oz might be okay, depending on what kind of meat it is. I would probably never serve a 6 oz serving of meat, unless it was fish.

Like when I buy a package of ground beef, I usually try to get it between 1-1.25lbs and then divide it into 4 and only use one section for cooking. Unless I'm making extra for left overs. Like the pork chops, I buy the package of 10 slices, so it's only a few ounces per piece. I try to buy the larger packages with the smaller pieces and then divide before freezing so I don't over cook.

You mentioned before that beef brisket is one of your standard meats. A standard 3 oz portion of marbled beef brisket (the grade between the lean and the fatty), braised, is 250 calories. Put that along side a plain 7 oz baked potato (which is a large potato) at 220 calories and you are at 470 with no other sides, no butter or margarine or sour cream, no sauces/gravies, no added fat during the cooking, and no drinks (other than water).

Beef brisket isn't something I cook all the time, in fact it's something I've only cooked a few times in my life. It's just something that he likes to eat as well, that I know how to cook.

Do you see where I am going with this? I think your portions are out of whack. I think you need to do some reading and research to start discovering that healthy portions sizes should be.

I know I need to figure that sort of thing out. I'd love to talk to a nutritionist, but I think it'd be too expensive. But I have heard a fist size is usually a good estimate of a serving.

I'm laughing about the taco truck... never heard of that! We only have ice cream trucks here in New England... DS would LOVE a taco truck!
I've seen them before in Miami, just usually lunch trucks that drive around business districts selling food. But these are trucks with mini kitchens in the back end. Most of them go to the same spot all the time, and often times on the weekends you'll find them at the flea markets. There's one that makes a good quesadilla, but they're not my favorite. And a mexican taco is way different than what you'd find at a chain restaurant.

Well... I disagree with the reaction to the green beans. There have been plenty of times when I've introduced something new or unusual or unexpected to my family... and other than when my son was a toddler, I would never expect or tolerate a gagging reaction (unless there was truly a physical reason, like a food allergy). I mean, this is FOOD you are giving him, not trash or manure!!

I've had worse reactions in the past from other people. So it doesn't really bug me too much. It just gives me something to poke at him with.

The Thomas's english muffins and bagels are pretty big. You might want to start considering eating just a half.
He eats the english muffins, I usually have a slice of bread with my egg. Or a bagel with a little bit of cream cheese for my breakfast.

Even though fruit is healthy....and it isn't usually the reason we end up fat, it is still CALORIES and there are still portions that are normal. For most of the higher water fruits, like watermelon, 1 cup is considered a serving... same with strawberries and blueberries. I believe a 1/4 of a medium cantaloupe is considered a serving. Half a banana is considered a serving on Weight Watchers.

I'll try to keep this in mind. It's so easy to go way overboard.

I don't know that it is a matter of "too much fruit", but you could certainly easily eat yourself over your daily calories by eating too much fruit and it could certainly cause some gastric distress! But if you are eating the fruit in lieu of a candy bar, I say go for it! .............P
Actually it's really not in lieu of anything else, I'm not much of a candy eater. And if the snack isn't in the house, I don't eat it.

I know it's up to him in the end. But I'm his starting point. And he looks to me to tell him what's healthy and what he should avoid. I'm no expert, and he knows that. But he trusts my judgment a lot more than any one else. And time will tell if it's something he wants to keep up for the long run. Once we're in our own place, I'm gonna start showing him how to cook. Then he'll have to make the decisions for himself when I'm not around.

 

[SandrA9810]

So pesto roasted red potatoes are the new favorite. When we went to his aunt's, he asked me to make them. When his cousin came to stay for a couple days, he asked me to make them.

So if the potato is going to be the main dish... how much should I make?? And he's really loving the red potatoes. Are they healthier than the other brown potatoes?? How much healthier are sweet potatoes?? I got some of those at the farmer's market last weekend, and wanted to make the sweet potato dish my grandmother used to make on thanksgiving. Ok, maybe not the healthiest, but it'll be something new for him.

 

[SandrA9810]

Ohh goody another big surprise.

One of his aunt's husband works for an egg processing company. So we just came home with 5 dozen eggs. And they're huge eggs. Bigger than the extra large eggs sold at the grocery store.

I know I still need to limit how many we eat per day, but I've got 6 dozen eggs to go through (we just bought a dozen a couple days ago). Looks like I need to find new egg recipes.

 

[SandrA9810]

Woo Hoo. I just got my own bread maker. I love the flea market. It looks like it was only used a couple of times, and in good condition for a whoping 5 bucks. I was able to d.l. the manual off the internet too.

I hope i'm able to make some yummy breads with this thing. It's one of those kitchen gadgets I've always wanted. I'm gonna try to make breads with white whole wheat to see how he likes them. Now I just need to find a toaster oven.

 

[pjlla]

I know it's up to him in the end. But I'm his starting point. And he looks to me to tell him what's healthy and what he should avoid. I'm no expert, and he knows that. But he trusts my judgment a lot more than any one else. And time will tell if it's something he wants to keep up for the long run. Once we're in our own place, I'm gonna start showing him how to cook. Then he'll have to make the decisions for himself when I'm not around.

Nice that he trusts you... and nice that you know that you are not an expert and that you are smart enough to look for HELP! Glad you found us. (not meaning to say that we are experts, of course, but just offering help!)

So pesto roasted red potatoes are the new favorite. When we went to his aunt's, he asked me to make them. When his cousin came to stay for a couple days, he asked me to make them.

So if the potato is going to be the main dish... how much should I make?? And he's really loving the red potatoes. Are they healthier than the other brown potatoes?? How much healthier are sweet potatoes?? I got some of those at the farmer's market last weekend, and wanted to make the sweet potato dish my grandmother used to make on thanksgiving. Ok, maybe not the healthiest, but it'll be something new for him.

Potatoes should NOT be the main dish most of the time. But if they are combined with other veggies in a low fat recipe, they would be okay for the occasional meatless meal. Sometimes we have baked potato night at my house.... everyone gets a large baked potato and I put out a toppings bar... lowfat chili (usually homemade with extra beans), cheese sauce (again, homemade, low fat), salsa, broccoli, bacon bits (as a condiment, not a protein source).

Red potatoes are no healthier than standard yellow/brown potatoes... they are usually younger and newer and a bit less starchy though. The healthiest potatoes are SWEET potatoes! Loaded with fiber and vitamins! Try peeling, dicing, tossing with a bit of EVOO, and oven roasting them. It really brings out their natural sweetness.

I would avoid fixing sweet potatoes with the usual holiday trimmings of marshmallow, brown sugar, and nuts... you are overpowering the good qualities of the potato with the unhealthy toppings.

Ohh goody another big surprise.

One of his aunt's husband works for an egg processing company. So we just came home with 5 dozen eggs. And they're huge eggs. Bigger than the extra large eggs sold at the grocery store.

I know I still need to limit how many we eat per day, but I've got 6 dozen eggs to go through (we just bought a dozen a couple days ago). Looks like I need to find new egg recipes.

YUMM... eggs! Lots of healthy ways to prepare. If you can't go "yolk-less", at least try using just one whole egg to two or three whites. Most egg recipes can be made with just whites or a mix of whole/whites. Frittatas are delicious, quick, easy, and can incorporate lots of veggies. Egg salad made with egg whites and lowfat mayo is good (you could toss in a bit of yolk for effect). I make crustless quiche using egg whites, lowfat cheese, tons of veggies (onions, peppers, spinach, broccoli) and a bit of lowfat Bisquick to hold it together.

If you aren't eating the yolks, I would not worry about the quantity of eggs eaten per day. If you are eating yolks, I would limit it to two whole eggs per day. The protein is in the white, which is very low calorie... all the yolk adds is fat/cholesterol. Just to keep it in perspective... a whole extra large egg is 80 calories and 5 grams of fat.... but an extra large egg white is just 16 calories and NO FAT.

Woo Hoo. I just got my own bread maker. I love the flea market. It looks like it was only used a couple of times, and in good condition for a whoping 5 bucks. I was able to d.l. the manual off the internet too.

I hope i'm able to make some yummy breads with this thing. It's one of those kitchen gadgets I've always wanted. I'm gonna try to make breads with white whole wheat to see how he likes them. Now I just need to find a toaster oven.

Be sure you are using the bread machine to make whole grain breads (like you mentioned)... and perhaps try some new things... like homemade whole wheat pizza dough and homemade whole wheat soft pretzels.

Personally, my bread machine has taken up residence in the basement. All of the warm, chewy bread was just too tempting.. and even whole grains must be taken in moderation. I pull it out occasionally for something special, like cinnamon rolls at Christmas.

I was gone for a while on vacation. I am glad to see you are still posting. Hopefully you are still working on making healthy changes to your eating and your DBF's eating habits.

Well... I gotta run! (Literally! ).....................P

 

[SandrA9810]

These eggs are huge, and usually have two yolks in them. But usually the yolk breaks when I'm opening them, so it makes it a bit harder to separate them. But I'm now down to my last 2 dozen.

He wasn't a fan of the sweet potatoes. And some of them didn't cook all the way through, making them a bit tougher than it should have. That was my fault. I might try it again, because I do like them.

I've run into another problem now... I've been yelled at "why can't you cook like a normal person??" I prefer to do a lot of baking, especially meats because they turn out better and healthier. I've also made a couple loaves of bread that require baking in a different dish. But until I find a toaster oven, and someplace to store it in this room, I ain't changing the way I'm cooking.
She would prefer that I cook on top of the stove with a quart of oil in the pan... eww gross. and heck no.

 

[tinkrebell]

Have you ever considered privately (with him only) addressing his relationship with his mother, as well as yours?

Quite honestly, I married into a family of 3 kids, all of which who had been emotionally abused by both of their parents (one an alcoholic, one a spiteful and mean-spirited man). I had many issues with both of the parents - but the one in particular with the mother was also about food. She used to try and tell me what I was making wasn't good, or that I wasn't chopping my mushrooms the right way, and I'm a chef. . . She did everything she could to criticize the way I was feeding her son. Now, her poison was alcohol, but I'm sure the addiction to thinking diet pills are working can function similarly in the mind of a woman destined to loathe you -

So, I think the first step is talking to your husband about the need for you to be a team. A real 'team', in constant support of each others' efforts, and with some separation from his mother. I don't know your living situation, but if you live with her, maybe designate some nights as "your cooking only" nights, and say that if she criticizes the way you do things, she is allowed to leave the table because she's insulting your honest effort to feed the family. Then, allow her to do the same thing, and bite your tongue when she feeds you all lots of oil. THEN, try and compare, with your husband, alone together, how you both felt afterwards - I've found it's helpful in these situations (I've been helping my mom lose weight for a couple years, she's 25 lbs down with 25 to go) to ask things like "Now, isn't it nice not to feel weighed down/poopy/farty/lethargic?" Asking them about their physical reaction to food is a great way to put them in touch with the feelings of their body, and to start making the mental connection between the mind and body.

Hope this helps! I'm subbing to this thread, I'd love to help support you!

 

[SandrA9810]

We're not married. Marriage isn't exactly something either one of us wants at this time, even when there is long term planning.

She doesn't cook for us, and I don't cook for her. But she always has to have something to complain about. Literally EVERYTHING. So when she complains about one thing, I find an alternate way to work around it. But I do my best to avoid her, or letting her watch what I do.

He does appreciate my fresh cooking. Even though sometimes I have to tell him "slow down and actually taste it". But I mostly figure out what he wants when he tells me to make it again and again.

 

[Domas]

I just want to say that he is happy to have you and that I also need to lose a lot of kilos and I know how hard it can be when you don`t see results right away.

 

[SandrA9810]

I think my next concern is getting him to figure out when he's full. He says he eats a lot less now than before (being full), but sometimes if there's a lot of food in front of him, he doesn't know when to stop.

He says it mostly because his mom would only cook like every other day or so. So he would gorge one day and not eat much the next couple of days. Which isn't healthy either.

We were at his cousin's birthday party, at pizza hut. They brought out like 10 pies. And i don't think he even knew how much he was eating. He did stop after i said something.

Mostly when i cook, i only fix enough for the two of us. So it's portioned controlled already. And he can be full from that. But i don't know what to say to make him realize he needs to figure out when enough is enough when i'm not cooking.

Well for me. Some days i feel skinnier, but i don't think i've lost a pound. And i'm too afraid to step on a scale.
We're still getting out and walking. And i ride around on my scooter. But swimming time is coming to an end.

 

[Noah]

Hi I heard that it helps to take a lot of small meals a day. Perhaps you can get him fruits and nuts that's starchy. How about trail mix? I also heard that by chewing the food more before swallowing, it would prolong the eating time thereby helping that person to get full sooner. There are many creative ways out there.

And of course, walking also helps. The less painful and obvious it is for him, the easier it will be to integrate into everyday living.

 

[SandrA9810]

His problem is, he's lived so long off of almost all starchy foods. That I'm trying to get him off of it. Not succeeding so well, at least that's the way I feel.

Maybe I'm just getting in over my head about all of this.

 

[Alexander2010]

i have had trouble with weight for the last couple of years. i have lost 50 lbs 5 years ago and then gained it back in two years. then loss 30 lbs again. and now back up.

why did i say this? because i know what it's like not liking what i eat when i'm eating healthy. or how my wife doesn't like it.

Whole grains! that's the biggest thing i can tell you. i know it is on here already, but it's important. i read that 1 slice of white bread is equal to 8 tablespoons of sugar in the body during gestation. remember that when you eat a hard roll, bagel, hamburger or a hotdog.

Natural PB. I like Smart Balance brand because of the extra omega 3 mixed in, and it doesn't separate as much as other naturals. if you do buy the other you can keep it in the fridge, it wont separate as much.

Eat every 3 to 4 hours in the day. small meals.

Protein. powder or bars are good for the snack times in between the Breakfast/lunch/dinner meals. protein makes you feel fuller longer.

Exercise. walking is a good start. when you move up to a treadmill or jogging, intervals are the best way to go with jogging or running jog/run for 30 sec, walk or a min, repeat. (most treadmills have a interval setting) it get the heart going and then get it back down and then back up again. i read somewhere that when you run/jog a mile a day, you will lose weight in the beginning, then you body adjust itself to conserve that energy for the run, so now you run 2 miles to get the body to react. intervals are tricking the body. weight training is also good, cause mussel burns more calories then fat.

i hope i could be of help.

PS yoga is also a good exercise believe it or not.

 

[SandrA9810]

Finally stepped on a real scale today... 148 pounds.

 

[SandrA9810]

Well I decided to bring a few pots and pans from my aunt's. A couple of skillets and two small sauce pans. Surprisingly enough, the sauce pans are just the right size for cooking for two. It's much harder to make too much food. Even pasta fits just fine in it (and that's one I usually over cook on).

I'm also happy to be going back to the flea market. Lots of veggies that I love are finally in season. Corn, carrots, broccoli, green beans.

As far as he goes, I'm ready to ring his neck. Although I was peeling a carrot, and decided to use the peeler to shave some carrots into the dish I was making, and he actually ate the carrots that way. But it probably only amounted to one bite of a carrot.

 

[SandrA9810]

Well it's really rather amazing how a person can change when a doctor scares them.

About two months ago, he passed out from his mother's screaming. Something about really loud noises makes his ear pop, he gets dizzy, then blanks out. Paramedics came and his heart rate was really high up there. It managed to get back down after about a 1/2 hour or so, but still higher than normal. It was recommended to see a doctor about it.
So off to the doctors we went. Found a clinic place, and they also did lab work right there. Of course the doctor scared him by saying "well it's possible you could have high cholesterol, diabetes, and so on and so forth (anything that goes with being overweight)". After $200 (including the lab work), all he has is a bit of high blood pressure. Everything else came back normal, although he's on the verge of having a fatty liver. He was also happy to be able to step on the scale, 350lbs. He's lost about 30lbs with me being around. He can no longer just stick his gut out to hold his pants up.

But that has scared him into eating his fruits and veggies. Carrots, spinach, lettuce, and Chinese broccoli are a staple to almost every dinner. And every morning he eats a banana. He also loves his beans, which I know he needs to be careful on, but it's better than some of the other options he could be chowing down on.

I'm also much better at making wheat bread from scratch. Well it's honey wheat bread, and it tastes so great. But I still make some other specialty breads, like the rosemary knock off from Macaroni Grill.

One other thing... who would've thunk eating healthy could make your hair grow?? It's one more noticeable difference to show him. And prove that eating healthy is a good thing.

On a sadder note however, and a life opening moment, his uncle has been diagnosed with diabetes. He's only in his 50's, but doesn't take care of himself at all. Also a major alcoholic. His family is riddled with alcoholics, so he doesn't touch it with a 10 foot pole and has no desire to ever try it in his life. Hopefully this will also teach him that he needs to take care of himself and eat right so he doesn't have to get diabetes or anything else. Or take meds in order to stay alive. He's terrified of needles, and I don't think he could ever deal with insulin shots.

Well that's the update for now. I'm glad things aren't so much of a battle anymore.

 

[lovetoscrap]

But that has scared him into eating his fruits and veggies. Carrots, spinach, lettuce, and Chinese broccoli are a staple to almost every dinner. And every morning he eats a banana. He also loves his beans, which I know he needs to be careful on, but it's better than some of the other options he could be chowing down on.
.

That is great that he is losing! Seeing results really helps to keep the motivation going. As does a good kick in the pants about the health problems. I know diabetes is a huge fear for me. I had myself checked and am fine for now and I want to keep it that way.

What beans does he like? Wondering what he needs to be careful about with them? And what is Chinese Broccoli? I haven't heard of it and am looking for some new veggies that my family will eat.

 

[SandrA9810]

Chinesse broccoli has a milder taste, it also has tall thin stalks and small florretts on top. I believe it's part of the choy family (yu choy, bok choy, baby bok choy). Which are all a big part of the asain diet. It's mostly a cold season vegatable as it enters late spring and early summer they start to flower very quickly.

He mostly eats a can of pork and beans every few nights for dinner. I believe it's white kidney beans in tomato sauce, but since it's canned the sodium is a bit on the high side. With 7g of sugar. He also really loves pinto beans, which is a staple for any mexican. I just haven't perfected cooking those. I have a 4lb bag of dried pinto beans, I'm gonna try cooking them in my crock pot I just bought, then canning and freezing them.

I'm headed back to Dallas in a week once again for nearly 2 months. His biggest worry is how is he going to get fed. I really need to work on showing him how to cook, but it goes against every grain in my body. My WHOLE family is like this, no one is allowed in the kitchen to help. The kitchen was always so small, so there really wasn't room for two butts. And some how we all ended up pretty good cooks. My grandmother, my aunt, my aunt's son (he's a professional chef), and me. Hopefully in the next couple of days I can make up some big pots of soups and stews for him to eat. That's the other way of getting him to eat veggies, he has no problem if they're in soups.

Ohh and for the first time, I have made my very own chicken stock. It smells so yummy and tonight I'm gonna make something with it. I hope it's as good as it smells.