12 year olds and cell phones- what has been your experience?

Isn't it nice to know that people who know nothing about you were probably judging you.
Meh. I don't care what other people think about me. I have been a "drop and go" parent forever. That went for soccer, and that goes for swimming and dance. And yeah ... sometimes I pick up late which is why my DD has a cell phone :rotfl:.
 
Man some of you like to argue.

I said it was my opinion that a child that young didn't need a cell phone. If you feel they do, great - fill your boots; that is your opinion.

We don't have to agree and I don't think you would change your mind anyway. In fact, there is no need to.
 
Man some of you like to argue.

I said it was my opinion that a child that young didn't need a cell phone. If you feel they do, great - fill your boots; that is your opinion.

We don't have to agree and I don't think you would change your mind anyway. In fact, there is no need to.

No one is disagreeing with you they are saying that it is a WANT, not a NEED. NO ONE NEEDS a cell phone.
 
Why is "needing" a phone the issue? People give their kids things they "want" all the time.

OP is talking about a phone as a Christmas gift. I can't even think of a Christmas gift I gave my kids that was an absolute "need".

Who here only gives their kids things that are "needs" not "wants"?

I suspect it is because most folks in the US who have cell phones have contract plans with limited minutes, so giving your child a phone under those circumstances involves taking on a fixed expense AND taking a risk that said child *could* run up a bill of thousands of dollars without your exoress consent. It has the potential to get very expensive, and many people tend to put a limit on how much they will spend for an object meant for use by a child, but which is also quite expensive and which has high potential for loss and/or theft.

Also, cell phones are status symbols for many people: they have to have the "right" one, and will buy more phone than they really need just for the sake of appearances. An article in the NYTimes recently noted that the digital divide between those who have personal internet access and those who don't is finally closing -- because of cell phones. People who would say that they don't have the money to buy a computer and pay for DSL service will sign up for pricey cell phone data plans, because you have to if you want the latest and greatest phone. (And for people who watch their pennies, that's an example of foolish conspicuous consumption, because home internet is much cheaper than getting it via a cell phone data plan.)

Prepaid basic phones solve the problem of cost, but then there is the other factor: time spent on the phone. Even 40 years ago parents hesitated to buy a second line for the children's use, because they knew that certain kids would spend every waking moment talking on it, and would neglect homework, etc. Now that tends to happen more with texting and gaming, but it does happen, and quite often.
 

My almost-12 year old daughter wants a cell phone for Christmas. It is, in fact, the only thing she wants. She's a very responsible, well-behaved girl and she gets straight A's in school. Still, I don't know. Her father and I are discussing it. I really did not plan on getting her one for a couple of years, because I always know where she is. There have only been a few times where I have thought it would be nice if she had a phone so I could call her. Mostly when she's not with us she is at school or at a friend's house, and I know the family of that friend. I know that as time goes by she will want more freedom and spend more time away from us, in less supervised situations.

Right now I am leaning slightly toward "yes" for three reasons. 1) It will make her Christmas. She will be leaping and screaming with joy. 2) It's FREE with our plan! 3) We'll be getting her one someday anyway. We're just delaying the inevitable.

My husband is leaning toward "no" because he "just doesn't see a need for it."

Any advice?

Thanks!

I got my first phone when I was 13. I was a busy little girl though. I did two cheering squad, I took a tumbling (cheering gymnastics) class, played softball, and I had after school things. Cheering practices rarely ran the same time and my parents had things to do. They would drop me off and I'd call them to come get me. However, cells phones are really different these days. Texting had just started when I got my first phone. I would look at how many of her friends have phones and make a list of pros and cons of getting her one. First pro: You'll always be able to contact her. First con: Because she's getting a phone so early she may become very attached to having one. (Like most kids my age. Including me.) If she's a responsible kid, I would say go for it, just lay down ground rules and all that jazz. Good luck! :goodvibes
 
I suspect it is because most folks in the US who have cell phones have contract plans with limited minutes, so giving your child a phone under those circumstances involves taking on a fixed expense AND taking a risk that said child *could* run up a bill of thousands of dollars without your exoress consent. It has the potential to get very expensive, and many people tend to put a limit on how much they will spend for an object meant for use by a child, but which is also quite expensive and which has high potential for loss and/or theft.

Also, cell phones are status symbols for many people: they have to have the "right" one, and will buy more phone than they really need just for the sake of appearances. An article in the NYTimes recently noted that the digital divide between those who have personal internet access and those who don't is finally closing -- because of cell phones. People who would say that they don't have the money to buy a computer and pay for DSL service will sign up for pricey cell phone data plans, because you have to if you want the latest and greatest phone. (And for people who watch their pennies, that's an example of foolish conspicuous consumption, because home internet is much cheaper than getting it via a cell phone data plan.)

Prepaid basic phones solve the problem of cost, but then there is the other factor: time spent on the phone. Even 40 years ago parents hesitated to buy a second line for the children's use, because they knew that certain kids would spend every waking moment talking on it, and would neglect homework, etc. Now that tends to happen more with texting and gaming, but it does happen, and quite often.

When I was little, only the rich families had a second line for the children. We certainly never had a second line, but I had no problem spending 4 hours a night on the phone when I was in high school. (no, not every night, but my best friend and I did our math homework together, and it took awhile. Especially when you threw in all the other stuff we had to talk about). :lmao:

We have 700 minutes, shared between the 4 of us. DH was worried that when the girls got phones that we might go over our minutes, but we usually only use about half of them. The girls mostly text. There *was* a very serious talk about not exceeding minutes when they got their phones, but it's never been even remotely a problem.

My girls don't have internet on their phones, although DD14 is begging for it for Christmas. DH keeps saying no, as she doesn't NEED it. Well, DH and I don't need it either. LOL. All I do with mine is play on Facebook. :lmao: DH says DD can surf the net on her DSi or our netbook, but you need wifi for that, and you don't with the phone. So if that's really what she wants for Christmas, she just might get it. But this is after having the phone for 2 years and being trustworthy. This would be a $120/year thing (she already has a smartphone, just no internet), so that's about what Santa would bring in our house. If it happens, there will be a HUGE talk about not downloading anything, and there would be no second chances if it happened. I have a co-worker whose 16 year old son somehow downloaded something and it was $12K! :scared1: He was able to negotiate it down to $700, which is WAY better than $12,000, but is still far too much to pay for something that likely would have been free if he'd done it on their home desktop. He lost his phone internet plan permanently, needless to say.

So yes, the fear of racking up some huge bill is there, but at some point you have to trust your kids. :)
 
my dd has one - we have little problems with it - other than texting a couple times when she was supposed to be asleep - took it away from her briefly & that was the end of that (for now).

She got hers @ 12 as well - but hers is prepaid so she can't use it all the time or she runs out of minutes
 
/
I think my biggest concern since getting my ds14 a cell phone is that neither he nor I can control what he receives as far as texting. We chose not to have the picture sending and receiving option just for that reason - we can not control what he might receive and I did not see a reason as to why he needed that option. I have been completely shocked at how bold kids are with what they will send, forward, and text eachother. Your child may be completely responsible, but their friends may not be. Other than that, I think that all of you, your dh included, will enjoy her having a cell phone.
 
ok so I didn't read all 8 pages.... :) Just putting that disclaimer out there up front.
DD10 & DD14 both got cell phones last year in November, they've had them for almost a full year. I love that they have them, I always know how to reach them so it's a great peace of mind thing. Both have been great with them, they aren't broken or damaged at all, they stay within minutes and they follow the rules (ie no texting after 9 or at the table when we are all eating together) with no problems. DD14 is in band so it's great to know she can reach me whenever she needs to and DD10 walks home from school, she and I chat while she's walking. IMO every family needs to decide when the kids phones, and for every family it will be different. We needed to have them last year (for DD14 anyway) so that's when we got them. Both girls were surprised, DD10 knew we were getting DD14 a phone but she had no idea she was getting one too, we got them when we upgraded our phones so the girls thought that was why we were there, we came home, programmed different ring tones for them, wrapped them and then called them on the phones. LOL DD10 came out and saw the box with her name on it and freaked, she was so excited she was screaming into the couch cushions. LOL DD14 came out and was excited too but not screaming into the couch cushions. :) Next year when it's time to upgrade again we plan on letting them help chose their new phones.
 
I suspect it is because most folks in the US who have cell phones have contract plans with limited minutes, so giving your child a phone under those circumstances involves taking on a fixed expense AND taking a risk that said child *could* run up a bill of thousands of dollars without your exoress consent. It has the potential to get very expensive, and many people tend to put a limit on how much they will spend for an object meant for use by a child, but which is also quite expensive and which has high potential for loss and/or theft.

Prepaid basic phones solve the problem of cost, but then there is the other factor: time spent on the phone. Even 40 years ago parents hesitated to buy a second line for the children's use, because they knew that certain kids would spend every waking moment talking on it, and would neglect homework, etc. Now that tends to happen more with texting and gaming, but it does happen, and quite often.

Judging from your response, you don't have a teen with a cellphone. We have the lowest number of minutes on our plan they allow (5 of us), and we don't get close to using them up (maybe 1300 minutes, and we'll use 250 total). One does not have to worry about a teen using up minutes, because they don't talk, they text. I had my own teen line, as did all of my friends, and we spent HOURS talking (and still did quite well in school). Texting is so quick, it's not time consuming. I don't know a single parent who's teen has racked up crazy charges - they all have unlimited texting.

As for phones being expensive, if you don't have any extra hanging around, put insurance on the new one (usually inexpensive with contract renewal), and when you have a spare (after the next contract renewal), you no longer need insurance, because you can activate the spare if something happens to a phone. We only have one spare right now, but will have 2 more in January, when 2 of our contracts are up for renewal.
 
As for phones being expensive, if you don't have any extra hanging around, put insurance on the new one (usually inexpensive with contract renewal), and when you have a spare (after the next contract renewal), you no longer need insurance, because you can activate the spare if something happens to a phone. We only have one spare right now, but will have 2 more in January, when 2 of our contracts are up for renewal.


We've never paid a dime for a phone. :thumbsup2 Every two years we get free ones for renewing our contract. We got free phones for our DDs because we were adding a line. We took them to the website for our carrier and told they could pick any phone they wanted...as long as it was free. :lmao:

The only expense to us was the $120/year for adding a line. We didn't add extra minutes. We did add unlimited texting last year, but we signed up during a promotion, so it's only $120/year as well, and we were already paying $72/year for 400 texts a month, which is nothing!

ETA - I meant 400 texts a month is nothing, not that $72 is nothing! LOL

We also keep our old phones just in case, although none of us has ever lost or damaged our phones. (although DD12 did turn her iPod into an iTurd...but we saved it with the bowl of rice!)
 
I got both my girls phones at 11 yrs old. My oldest is very responsible, my youngest I didnt think so much, but I got surprised. My youngest doesn't take her phone to school, outside to play, nothing. She is very good about it. My oldest is great with hers.

With my plan, I can limit and monitor online how many minutes they can have access to. I limit them both to 200 mins and they have unlimited texting, which is great because my oldest usually has over 5000 a month.

I really wanted my kids to have a phone because I want them to be able to call me whenever they need me. If they are with friends and want to call me, I don't them to feel uncomfortable asking to use their phone. It gives me peace of mind.

If you feel its a good idea, go for it. I really don't see anything negative with doing it. Besides, it gives me an easy punishment for bad behavior. I got it for you, I can take it away.
 

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