12 year olds and cell phones- what has been your experience?

I'd probably go along with this line of thought as well.

Unless the child is often alone without you or a friends parents, then I dont really see why would they need one.

Even in these situations they don't NEED a cell phone, heck NO ONE NEEDS a cell phone, but they sure make life a lot easier.
 
Is there really a need for that kind of comment?

I made the decision not to get a cell phone for my oldest daughter until she was in high school. I believe there are costs as well as benefits to having a cell phone at an early age and for my daughter and my family their was no net benefit. BTW - she had some freedom, she just didn't have a cell phone.

Most parents limit internet access and require that children use the internet in public areas of the home - right? To me, allowing children cell phones - particularly with unlimited or large texting packages - is too much like letting them hole up with a laptop in their bedroom. YMMV.

One of the most convincing arguments I read about delaying cellphones was that often children stop using the family phone and as a result parents get left out of the loop. And the opportunities for bullying also concerned me.

I also have a DD10 and she's not getting a cell phone anytime soon - but like anything else, I'll probably re-evaluate that decision every year or two based on circumstances.


M.

My mileage varies. I don't understand having to monitor your kids to death, sorry.:confused3

My kid is either going to follow the rules and be respectful or they are not going to get on the computer or have a cell phone, car keys, or whatever.

They have there OWN computers in their OWN bedroom. Shocking, I know. Well older dd is in college now and younger dd is in 8th grade.
 
I personally don't think there is a need, this is purely a case of a want. If my kids go somewhere and need a phone, they'll take one of ours, just as my parents did with us. I wasn't allowed my own phone until I was 18, and I had to pay for it.

If you DO make the decision to get a phone, I wouldn't get one that does more than phone calls. Kids that age do not need a data plan.
 
I personally don't think there is a need, this is purely a case of a want. If my kids go somewhere and need a phone, they'll take one of ours, just as my parents did with us. I wasn't allowed my own phone until I was 18, and I had to pay for it./QUOTE]

LOL -I feel old.

When I was 18 a cordless phone was a novelty (and when I was 25 a cell phone was the size of a boot!)

M.
 

I was referring to those who could let the kids some freedom, but don't. Our town is designed with all of the elementary schools in walking distance from every home in that area, and the HS and JH in the center of town - we have no busses. It's sad how many parents drive their kids to school. My DH (who coaches a few teams), was very surprised at how some parents stayed at practices in the 2nd grade, and even more surprised at how many parents drove their kids to practices when they were older - he has fond memories of riding his bike to them as a child. Although I admit we do drive ds12 to practices, even those his dad isn't coaching - he's always running late!

Wow...generalize much?!?!?

Yes, we stay for most practices.....even my son's 4th grade baseball this past summer. Why? Because the coaches around here appreciate the help. The more adults you have the more help you can give the kids on the team. Also, if some practices are only an hour it's not worth driving back and forth if you dont stay.

As far as riding a bike vs. driving...I suppose the kids could try and bike their way there, but them getting killed might be a tough lesson to learn. For my daughter to get to soccer, it's only about a mile or two but she would have to cross a road that is 4 lanes of traffic and doesnt have a stop light to help her cross...and there is no bike path.

My son would have to take this 4 lane road about 5 miles to his baseball practice...again, no bike path or sidewalks for him to ride on.

Not everyone (and I'd guess not even most people) live someplace where you can walk or ride a bike where you want to go. Most of us need cars to get from pt A to pt B.
 
My 11-year old has a cell phone from Page Plus Cellular which is a pre-paid plan. I could have added her to my AT&T plan but (1) it would have cost me significantly more, (2) I would have been 'locked' into that plan for her for the next 2 years and I was thinking about changing carriers and (3) the phones available were too much phone for her. She doesn't need a fancy phone with a data plan and a QWERTY keyboard. She needed a phone that she could use to call or text me from school or swim/dance practice. So, I bought her a cheap $25 phone and put $20 on it last year. I added another $20 a couple months ago and she has tons of minutes left.

We used it when we went to WDW and she carries it with her all the time. I like that she has it when she and her friends wander off the block and go to the park. I like that she has it when I'm late picking her up from swim practice. I like that she has it when I pick her up from school and she went out a different door than the one I'm waiting in front of (that happened yesterday).
 
LOL -I feel old.

When I was 18 a cordless phone was a novelty (and when I was 25 a cell phone was the size of a boot!)

M.
:rotfl2:

Hey, we had an old "car" phone that was the size of most textbooks!

But seriously, is there really a need here??
 
/
Wow...generalize much?!?!?

Yes, we stay for most practices.....even my son's 4th grade baseball this past summer. Why? Because the coaches around here appreciate the help. The more adults you have the more help you can give the kids on the team. Also, if some practices are only an hour it's not worth driving back and forth if you dont stay.

As far as riding a bike vs. driving...I suppose the kids could try and bike their way there, but them getting killed might be a tough lesson to learn. For my daughter to get to soccer, it's only about a mile or two but she would have to cross a road that is 4 lanes of traffic and doesnt have a stop light to help her cross...and there is no bike path.

My son would have to take this 4 lane road about 5 miles to his baseball practice...again, no bike path or sidewalks for him to ride on.

Not everyone (and I'd guess not even most people) live someplace where you can walk or ride a bike where you want to go. Most of us need cars to get from pt A to pt B.

I don't live where you live - I'm basing my opinions on my reality, not yours. And yes, it used to bug DH when parents stayed. Why? Because they didn't help at all. He has gone to ds7's practices, because ds isn't a great listener, and always asks if he can help. As for hour long practices, it takes 5 minutes to go across town. We don't have a single road in this town that is 2 lanes of traffic, never mind 4. All of our streets have sidewalks.
 
So, I bought her a cheap $25 phone and put $20 on it last year. I added another $20 a couple months ago and she has tons of minutes left.

So your minutes don't expire? That's nice. I couldn't find anything like that when I was shopping for a pay-as-you-go phone for DD a couple of years ago. I probably didn't look hard enough.
 
:rotfl2:

Hey, we had an old "car" phone that was the size of most textbooks!

But seriously, is there really a need here??

When my oldest were little, a little thing called the internet was relatively new. I felt certain my kids wouldn't be using it! :rotfl2: I also planned on getting my kids their teen phone lines, but not before the age of 13, like I did. :lmao: Heck, in 10 years, cellphones might be so outdated, it might not matter. I'm lucky that I have friends with older kids, to get advice from. Times change - I'm certainly not going to give my kids the gift of a portable word processor when they go off to college like my parents did (I was the envy of the dorm). ;) Why would someone not want to spend $10 a month to keep in touch with their children?
 
I don't live where you live - I'm basing my opinions on my reality, not yours. And yes, it used to bug DH when parents stayed. Why? Because they didn't help at all. He has gone to ds7's practices, because ds isn't a great listener, and always asks if he can help. As for hour long practices, it takes 5 minutes to go across town. We don't have a single road in this town that is 2 lanes of traffic, never mind 4. All of our streets have sidewalks.

That's my point. Most people dont live where you live.

You stated how SAD it was that parents stayed for practices, drove them to school and the like. You didnt state that it was SAD only for the kids in your town (which is still VERY judgemental), but rather as a generalized statement.

Also...I'd say your husband is easily "bugged" if a parent staying to watch practice...even if they were there reading a book, playing on a phone or talking to other parents rather than helping actually was an issue for him. It's their kid....I dont really see any harm in them wanting to watch and see how their kids is doing or even to see what kind of a coach your husband is. It's their prerogative.
 
Don't have kids, but here is my one concern: There are no more pay phones around. When I was a pre-teen, there were pay phones everywhere. If you were stuck somehwere, there was a pay phone to use. Now, not so much. I can't help but think back to the 80's (I was in my 20's at the time) when I went on a date to a Superbowl Party with a fella who I thought I knew fairly well, only to find that while at the party he did multiple lines of cocaine, which I did not know was a habit of his. Problem was that we were about an hour from my house and I had no intention of having him drive me home in the state he was in. Called my house to have the parentals come and get me...no answer. Had there been cell phones back then, I could have called theirs and had them come get me. Instead, I took a cab home to the tune of like $65...a lot of money back in 1985.

A good kid who is responsible should be OK with a cell phone. Of course, you would need to set up some ground rules as to usage, and also a list of things that will get said cell phone taken away.
 
That's my point. Most people dont live where you live.

You stated how SAD it was that parents stayed for practices, drove them to school and the like. You didnt state that it was SAD only for the kids in your town (which is still VERY judgemental), but rather as a generalized statement.

Also...I'd say your husband is easily "bugged" if a parent staying to watch practice...even if they were there reading a book, playing on a phone or talking to other parents rather than helping actually was an issue for him. It's their kid....I dont really see any harm in them wanting to watch and see how their kids is doing or even to see what kind of a coach your husband is. It's their prerogative.

I do think it's sad that so many people in this society are overly paranoid, thanks to the media's constant stream of unfortunate events, making them seem way more common than they actually are. I think it's sad that people are made to believe that crime is higher today than when they were kids. I think it's sad that 1/4 of our children are overweight, and don't get enough exercise.

And my DH is known as the most easy going guy on earth, but I don't blame him joking about how if these parents have time to sit and watch their kids practice, they might as well help him manage a bunch of hyper 8 year old boys (and it's usually the parents who sit and watch who have the worst behaved kids). He is now coaching 3 soccer teams - because no one else stepped up to the plate. If you have time to watch, you have time to volunteer (speaking as a mom of 5 who's DH is off at practice 5 nights a week).
 
My mileage varies. I don't understand having to monitor your kids to death, sorry.:confused3

My kid is either going to follow the rules and be respectful or they are not going to get on the computer or have a cell phone, car keys, or whatever.

They have there OWN computers in their OWN bedroom. Shocking, I know. Well older dd is in college now and younger dd is in 8th grade.

I don't get it either. If you EXPECT your kids to get into trouble they will. We have never put restrictions on internet, cell phones, etc. and guess what, we have NEVER had an issue. I check the history (the one in the program files) every once in a while but since they kids have been using the internet for over 14 years and we have never had an issue I don't bother to do it much.

I was referring to those who could let the kids some freedom, but don't. Our town is designed with all of the elementary schools in walking distance from every home in that area, and the HS and JH in the center of town - we have no busses. It's sad how many parents drive their kids to school. My DH (who coaches a few teams), was very surprised at how some parents stayed at practices in the 2nd grade, and even more surprised at how many parents drove their kids to practices when they were older - he has fond memories of riding his bike to them as a child. Although I admit we do drive ds12 to practices, even those his dad isn't coaching - he's always running late!

I have to agree. In our old town parents stayed at practices for younger kids mainly because it wasn't worth going home for a few minutes then turning around and picking them back up again. As the kids got older and the practices got longer it was drop them off at the door, see you later. When we moved here we signed the kids up for soccer. We walked them up to their first practice (3 blocks away) met the coach, left. We came back after practice to walk them home (we had only lived there for a week so just making sure that they knew the way) and we got in trouble for not staying to watch practice. I was SHOCKED. It was REQUIRED to stay-for 6th-8th graders :scared1::scared1::scared1: I am sure most coaches would prefer parents NOT stay because it is just way to distracting for the kids.

We drive kids to practices for band and golf because they can't ride their bikes with all of their "stuff". Once they get their licenses they will be driving themselves!! For marching band many of the parents come watch the last half hour of practice because they do full run through of their show and the directors like them to have an audience so there are usually 50 or so parents on the hill watching for that=not because we can't let our kids be at practice alone.
 
My son doesn't know it but he is getting one for his 12th Birthday this Christmas. My daughter will be made because that is 1 1/2 younger than she got hers, but that is life.

The main reason I am getting his now is because we have tmobile and they had the kids are free until 2012 promotion. I was able to get him a phone (free) and our bill went down $10 a month because his line is free and made our daughter's line free also. Our daughter pays $20 a month towards the bill and starting in January our son will too. (He agreed to this.)

We always know where our son is and he is always with other adults, but I think it will be an enhanced communication tool for us. We go to high school football games, etc with 10,000 fans there and he is allowed to walk with friends. He checks in with me once a quarter, but it will be nice to be able to reach him at any time.
 
You said NO 12 year old needs one. Did you read my post? Do you think in a situation such as that (child taking public transit for an hour or more home involving two connections and times fluctuating) a parent and child might see a need? Obviously, you child does not NEED one, but other people are in other situations (plus--I think kids can have wants, just as adults do, but that is a separate point).


Did you not read my post? :confused3

If you feel your 12 year old needs one, by all means buy one. I am of the opinion that they don't. I took public transit to school from grade 3 to 7 and never needed a cell phone. I understand they provide a level of comfort to people but I still don't think a child needs a phone. It has nothing to do with giving the child freedom as some may think.
 
There are, sadly, some kids who will never need cellphones. There parents will never allow them any freedom, away from adults. They will never be allowed to spread their wings, make mistakes, or learn how to be confident and capable without someone holding their hands.

Lol - I'm the same way. If 3 pm comes around, and I haven't received a text from dd14, letting me know where she is, I text her and let her know that is not acceptable. We just went on a cruise, turned off the cellphones, and I had to learn how to be a free range parent!


Who is not letting go of their childs hand?
 
My 11-year old has a cell phone from Page Plus Cellular which is a pre-paid plan. I could have added her to my AT&T plan but (1) it would have cost me significantly more, (2) I would have been 'locked' into that plan for her for the next 2 years and I was thinking about changing carriers and (3) the phones available were too much phone for her. She doesn't need a fancy phone with a data plan and a QWERTY keyboard. She needed a phone that she could use to call or text me from school or swim/dance practice. So, I bought her a cheap $25 phone and put $20 on it last year. I added another $20 a couple months ago and she has tons of minutes left.

:thumbsup2 This is what we do. Works great for school trips, sleepovers and practices but is otherwise no frills. Pay phones are impossible to find and my kids were having to bum minutes off friends before. It is a convience. I know they can check in if they need something and I am not left worrying.
 
Who is not letting go of their childs hand?

If she didn't have a cellphone, she would have to come home after school, and let me know where she is heading. When I was 14, I either came home when school let out, or used a payphone to call my mom, letting her know where I was going, and when I'd be home. Sometimes I need her to come straight home, because I forgot about an orthodontist appointment, or need her to watch her siblings.

I call her, because she's getting a little big for her britches (forgetting to call, or telling me she's eating at someone's house, instead of asking). She's on a pretty long rope, but as a parent, I have to remind her that I'm still holding the other end.
 
If she didn't have a cellphone, she would have to come home after school, and let me know where she is heading. When I was 14, I either came home when school let out, or used a payphone to call my mom, letting her know where I was going, and when I'd be home. Sometimes I need her to come straight home, because I forgot about an orthodontist appointment, or need her to watch her siblings.

I call her, because she's getting a little big for her britches (forgetting to call, or telling me she's eating at someone's house, instead of asking). She's on a pretty long rope, but as a parent, I have to remind her that I'm still holding the other end.

We just text those things :lmao:
 

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