10:00 lunch for first grade?!?

[deirdrefitch]

Because of the new laws here in Texas regarding the regulation of snacks and meals, the problem of buying extra food is a ghost of the past. I go to lunch everyday at 10:30 A.M., and then take 43 kindergarten children to lunch at 11:15 A.M. As an adult, it takes me several weeks after summer break to get back into my schedule of eating so early. As for needing a snack, I usually try to have a piece of fruit around 2:00 P because my bloodsugar starts to drop. I would think it would be appropriate for a healthy snack in the afternoon as long as it does not take away from, or interfere with the normal afternoon activites taking place in your child's classroom.

Regarding the second subject of a child realizing he/she can control the adults in charge, I too have some thoughts on this subject. First of all, I can understand getting duped by a child once or twice, but after that...????? If you have informed the cafeteria staff, teacher ref supplies already in the lunchbox, and about your child's uncalled for demands, then basically all you can do is tell your child to knock it off, throw the notes away, and not let the little things get to you. For the life of me, I just can not understand why the staff is letting him get by with this. I would have already checked the lunchbox, explained the consequences of his actions, and given the child time out during recess for telling
a lie. I think this would probably solve our problem.
As for loading up on junk, if you have requested in writing that your child only be alloted certain items, this is an infraction that can be taken to your local school board to resolve the issue.

Children are all very different. No two are alike! For some reason your child has gotten the message that he is in charge.
He may have started out testing the water to see just what he can get by with. If it were me, (my opinion only) I would tell him the next time I got a note ref supplies, or found out about too many extra items on lunch account, there were going to be consequences that he would not care for. Loss of TV, toys, etc.
Good luck, honestly, someday you will sit together at the dinner table and laugh about this.

 

[vhoffman]

Hi, Diedrefitch!

I' in Texas, too. Could you elaborate on the new laws concerning snacks? When did that law take effect? Actually, buying extra snacks is not the only problem ds has with his school. He has a strong need to be in control, and is actually quite good at it. He manages to play the adults in his life like a violin. I know his games, and try to head them off, but I get nowhere. I try talking with his teachers about his various games, but they always seem to resent it. Their attitude is that I'm somehow trying to tell them their job. Then ds "goes to work" manipulating them, while they play right into his hands. Eventually, it reaches a point where it becomes a problem, then they contact me. Note I said contact me, not listen to me. At this point they acknowledge that there's a problem with ds, but they can't admit that it has anything to do with how they respond to him. They don't want to admit that they've been manipulated by a 5-6 year old kid, nor do they want to admit that I had something of value to share with them and they wouldn't listen. So the only thing they can do is make out that I'm a bad parent. And they continue to play his games, while complaining to me about it. At that point its hard to break him of whatever pattern of interaction he's established with them, because they've let it go on so long. I'm going to give it the good old try again this year. Talk with his teachers, let them know that he's manipulative, some of my tricks for dealing with his games (the snack thing is just one of his games), then let the pieces fall as they may. In the end, that's all I can do. They don't want to take my advice because that would be admitting that I had something of value to say, they didn't listen, and they allowed him to get the upper hand. I've all but given up. My tact last year, when approached about a misbehavior I tried to warn them about and tell them how to handle, was just to say "What did you do when that happened? Why do you think it didn't work? What do you think might work? How can I help?" After all, I've tried, they have some responsibility to at least listen!

 

[deirdrefitch]

The laws regarding snacks and lunches started changing last year, and have been revised this year to even tougher standards due to the percentage of obese children. To get the specifics, you can contact the lunch superviser, or even the school principal.
I know that the cafeteria is only allowed to serve so many grams of fat, amount of sugar per meal. Fries can only be served once a week and can not weigh over a certain amount. Icecream can only be served a certain amount of times per week. No FRIED foods. Strict serving sizes, and no seconds on food. There are also rules regarding the restriction of sugared drinks, carbonated drinks, vending machines etc. There are even strict guidelines we have to follow in the classroom as to what can be used for snacks, class parties, and as learning activities. Food also can not be used in the classroom as a motivational tool. Must use stickers, pencils, etc. We go back to work on Tuesday, and will be the update. Hope this helps some! You might even be able to find something on the tea (texas educational agency) website.

 

[vhoffman]

Thanks, Diedrefitch!

This gives me something to "chew" on. I'll look into this. I'm glad I "met" you!

 

[tonyswife]

To the OP. I think it's just awful that your DD will have to eat lunch so early and not have a snack in the afternoon. If there is nothing you can do about changing the time of her lunch, this is what I would personally do;

Offer her something very light for breakfast when she wakes up, such as a piece of fruit ir a cup of drinkable yogurt. Or, if you find she's still not hungry at "lunch" time, offer her a glass of OJ and a cracker.

For lunch, try to pack her something that will stay with her for the afternoon. Maybe some soup in a thermos, a sandwich, some cheese and a fruit or veggie. God that seems like a lot of food for 10 AM. This is really such a quandry.

Anyway, maybe start a few weeks before school starts on this schedule. That way she can get used to it and you can tweak the food choices to see what works best. I wish you the best of luck.


On the off topic of chocolate milk; Chocolate milk is not "bad" for kids. Sure, there is sugar in it, but as long as the rest of their diet is healthy, a little bit of sugar in the name of getting the kids to drink their milk for the necessary vitimin D and calcium is not a deal breaker. I'm not sure if it's the same as Strawberry milk, I'm betting the same concept applys though. My DD (2.5) will not drink white milk, after extensive research and in-depth discussions with her Pediatrician, I feel pretty comfortable offering her chocolate milk everytime she drinks milk. The only other thing she drinks is water and her diet is relatively healthy (lots of fresh produce, whole grains and lean meats) so I'm not concerned. Just a thought.

 

[disneyjunkie]

Originally posted by vhoffman
Hi, Diedrefitch!

I' in Texas, too. Could you elaborate on the new laws concerning snacks? When did that law take effect? Actually, buying extra snacks is not the only problem ds has with his school. He has a strong need to be in control, and is actually quite good at it. He manages to play the adults in his life like a violin. I know his games, and try to head them off, but I get nowhere. I try talking with his teachers about his various games, but they always seem to resent it. Their attitude is that I'm somehow trying to tell them their job. Then ds "goes to work" manipulating them, while they play right into his hands. Eventually, it reaches a point where it becomes a problem, then they contact me. Note I said contact me, not listen to me. At this point they acknowledge that there's a problem with ds, but they can't admit that it has anything to do with how they respond to him. They don't want to admit that they've been manipulated by a 5-6 year old kid, nor do they want to admit that I had something of value to share with them and they wouldn't listen. So the only thing they can do is make out that I'm a bad parent. And they continue to play his games, while complaining to me about it. At that point its hard to break him of whatever pattern of interaction he's established with them, because they've let it go on so long. I'm going to give it the good old try again this year. Talk with his teachers, let them know that he's manipulative, some of my tricks for dealing with his games (the snack thing is just one of his games), then let the pieces fall as they may. In the end, that's all I can do. They don't want to take my advice because that would be admitting that I had something of value to say, they didn't listen, and they allowed him to get the upper hand. I've all but given up. My tact last year, when approached about a misbehavior I tried to warn them about and tell them how to handle, was just to say "What did you do when that happened? Why do you think it didn't work? What do you think might work? How can I help?" After all, I've tried, they have some responsibility to at least listen!

Have you punished your son for buying the extra snacks or for the way he acts with the teacher?

It sounds like he knows that the school will not stop him from getting what he wants and you'll blame the school instead of him.

Since there aren't any consequences for his actions, why stop?

 

[vhoffman]

DS does get punished for his actions. We've tried everything from taking away toys, spanking, taking away TV, video games, talking until I'm blue in the face--nothing works and nothing will until the school that I "blame" realizes that he is playing a game with them and the only way to stop it is to stop playing their part. Like I said in an earlier post, I usually don't know about these things on a timely basis. I just know when I get a note that his lunch account is empty, several days before it should be. It would be better if I knew on a day-to-day basis. However, then general feeling is that its somehow my fault that this is going on. I've done everything I can. The school doesn't listen to me anymore than ds does and they actually reinforce his behavior by allowing it to go on. But I guess that calling his bluff and not playing their part would be admitting that they were playing a part in the first place. Its so much easier to blame the parents--after all, teachers are never wrong! At least I'm trying to address this issue, they don't even bother.

 

[ripleysmom]

vhoffman, a couple of things......

Find out if your PTA has a food service committee and sign up for it. Our school district has a food service committee and cafeteria and food purchase guidelines are enforced by them. Go to your school board and complain if there is no committee. You can't be the only parent with the problem.

Having said that......instead of packing his lunch periodically, pack it everyday. That eliminates the need to have him buy anything.

Let your child know that they are not permitted to purchase anything from the cafeteria now. If he does then he will be confined to their room for a day, week whatever without video games, TV and telephone. Escalate the punishments, start out with grounding for a day then work your way up.

Then check with the cafeteria on a daily basis to see whether he has purchased anything or not. If they won't let you call then go there. A punishment should always be administered as close to the transgression as possible.

Have you not figured out that there is something wrong if your child is not obeying your instructions whether you are there or not? You are responsible for teaching your children that they cannot purchase x y and z. If you don't do it, no one else should have to.

Also if you truly cannot control your child then you should consider whether there are deeper issues here. You might want to consider having an evaluation done. Seriously, it sounds as though there is more going on than the school letting him have his way. Part of being a parent is realizing that sometimes our children have needs that cannot be met without outside help.

 

[tinkerbellsfan]

I agree, that is too early. My DS is 11 and in 6th grade will have lunch at 10:30. By the afternoon, students will be so hungry and that don't allow snacks for that age

 

[Rock'n Robin]

vhoffman, I realize that your DS must be handful for these people but they are making it worse themselves. That is the strangest cafeteria setup I've ever heard of. If DD#2 has an empty account, she can charge a day or two (if she forgets her lunch) but a note comes home right away--and the last two weeks of school, no charging, so if they don't have food they have to beg from their buddies!
I can't remember if you have tried talking to the principal--if that hasn't worked, try talking to the head of food service for your district about the disregard for your instructions from his or her staff. Most school districts are in a "customer service" mode where the last thing they want is an upset parent.
I pack for my kids each day except twice a month--we look at a menu at the start of the month and decide what they want to buy. It's just too darned expensive otherwise. And as for milk money, I pack a juice box (100% juice, LOL, they would love capri sun type stuff but get juicy juice or Motts) so they don't even need the 50 cents. I would say that might work for you--as someone else suggested, pack each day, and put in a juice box. We always shoot for a sandwich (PB & J), one healthy snack, one "junk" snack (not TOO junky, usually, but cookies or cheezits) and a juice box.
Robin M.

 

[vhoffman]

Thanks for the suggestions. Do you realize that ds was 5 years old and new to the whole cafeteria thing? That's no excuse for disobeying my directions. However, I think he just can't handle being able to buy things sometimes and sometimes not. Especially when the other kids are lined up to buy lunch, and I've seen the teacher just about coaxing him into line "Are you sure you don't want to buy something? I know Mommy sent your lunch today, but wouldn't you like to buy some nice chocolate milk or chips?" I've "spied" on ds many times by slipping in the cafeteria and standing just out of his sight. Well, my ds, like most children his age, wants to please the authority figures in his life. During the day, the teacher is the authority figure, I'm not there. Therefore, he gets in line to buy something because he thinks its expected of him. I used to pack his lunch 2 days a week, when they served items he didn't like. The other days I let him buy lunch because it was a novelty and he wanted to be like the other kids. However, I'm thinking like the above poster--just cut out any purchases, including drinks. I always want to have some money in his lunch account, just in case he forgot his lunch, drops something, etc. However, since the school is so willing to run a tab, I shouldn't even do that. I've had a summer to "influence" him, and he understands more about good choices, nutrition, etc. He now understands that chips, soda, candy, etc. are not good for him and says he wants me to pack a good lunch for him. However, I really do think that expecting kindergarten kids age 5 to understand about nutrition is unrealistic. Expecially if they're going to encourage him to buy all the junk he wants. Then run to get him extras, things he has such as spoons, etc. They have allowed him to be in charge and turn a deaf ear to my complaints and suggestions. Even when I get notes home to please pack necessary items with his lunch, such as spoons, etc. I do pack those items! DS just makes a game out of repeatedly asking the cafeteria moniters for items he has just to get attention. I can't stop them from playing his game. Like I've told them, just check his lunch first to see if he has what he's asking for rather than jump to do his bidding. I can only do so much. Well, I'm going to eliminate the lunch line, period. He will bring his lunch every day. However, I can't stop him from going through the line for extras, nor can I stop him from playing games with the cafeteria personnel. If they are going to not only allow but encourage his games, they have to take the consequences. I can't do their job for them!

 

[BrerMom]

I could never be a kindergarten or first grade teacher!

I have to eat lunch at 10:35 and I thought that was way too early. For the kids that have to eat at 10:00, they will NEED a snack in the afternoon. Didn't the teacher say she'd decide in two weeks whether they'd have one or not? I've had diabetic and hypoglycemic kids eating in my class before and it hasn't been disruptive. Ask if your DD can discretely have an afternoon snack if you pack it, even during those first two weeks.

 

[Megan's Mom]

I think that maybe more lunchrooms need to adopt what our school does. We have a really great lunchroom with 6 different stations. they do sell ice cream and "fruit" drinks and other "junk" but they only will sell it to you if you eat lunch and it doesn't come out of you lunch account. You have to have cash. You can't charge for the junk and you can only charge for two days of lunch so no long charge account. They also make the students buy french fries. Every now and then they will be on the lunch line but very seldom. As the lunch room coordinator said if they want to eat unhealthy they will have to pay for it. We have a very high free and reduced lunch count and they get good nutrious lunches for the money. Extras cost but you have to eat first. I don't think lunchrooms are suppose to take from lunch accounts for junk. It has something to do with the federal money they get for free and reduced. They have to meet certain guidlines. You might want to check that out with your lunchroom.

 

[vhoffman]

Good point! What they're doing, in essence, is taking from my kids lunch account to buy junk. An occassional treat is one thing, but when an entire two weeks of lunch money goes in two days for junk, that's using their money for another purpose other than which I intended. It must violate some sort of Federal school lunch program policy. I really think my problem with the teachers allowing and even encouraging ds to spend all his money on junk is really directed at me. I dared complain about one of them once, (about a year ago) and I've had ridiculous problems like this ever since. They want to make out that somehow I'm the problem, not them. So they create problems, such as allow ds to do whatever he wants in the cafeteria (and elsewhere) then complain to me that its somehow my fault. Anything I try to do, suggestions, letters, conferences, just seems to play into their hands and gets their back up even more. This year I'm going to send his lunch every day, not put any money in his lunch account, make sure he understands he's to mind my rules, not whatever they let him get away with, then if they continue to allow him to buy whatever and run a tab refuse to pay it. Then I will have an itemized list of the junk he bought and can complain to the school board that they're encouraging him to buy junk.

 

[tjmw2727]

My oldest dd had a 10:15 lunch in first grade and I was worried but it worked out ok - not great but ok. I made sure she ate a good breakfast and sent a lot of breakfast and lunch type foods for lunch. I did things that were easy to open and quick to eat as they also had a very short lunch period.

Luckily they did have an afternoon snack at the desk and I made sure she had healthy choices. She always came home with extras but on the days where she was hungry I knew she was set. Many times she would have a sandwich or soup as an afternoon snack and still eat a great dinner!

Now they have changed the schedule to have the younger kids eat around the noon hour with the older kids getting the early or late lunch times in hopes they can handle it better.

Hope things go well for your dd as well.

TJ

 

[sm4987]

HOw funny. I just had this conversation with my husband about my daughter and kindergarten. She eats sporadically, and eating so soon after breakfast is going to be hard for her. She will get and and have breakfast about 7:00 to 7:15, around that time and lunch is at 10:45. Sounds so stupid to me. School isn't over until 3:15, so she's gonna come home hungry.