Your input please!

[RickinNYC]

Hi folks. I have a hypothetical situation and wanted to get some input from the DCL pros.

As many of you already know, I'm half of a gay male couple. Neither of us are flamboyant by any stretch of the word. In fact, we look like the typical husbands who's wives have ditched us for the day. Anyway, we've taken a cruise on Royal Caribean before and had a wonderful time.

I've often been intrigued by DCL. I'm a huge Disney fan and love everything about their vacation destinations. That said, we've pondered taking a cruise but have always been concerned that it's much more family oriented.

Plus, to be perfectly honest, I really don't know that I want to feel uncomfortable during meals. Although we're not "obvious" at first glance, it's pretty clear that we're a couple (of many years I might add). Is this concern unfounded? I know that there are dozens and dozens of open minded DIS board members out there, but I'm still a bit worried nonetheless. I certinaly don't want to spend a week at a table with a family who is intolerant. It'd be a terrible vacation!

I should also mention that my partner and I are extremely friendly, well spoken, outgoing and tend to be a lot of fun. We're great conversationalists and have HUGE senses of humor. I personally think we'd be fun at your table, but sometimes folks can't or won't look at that and just see two gay guys sharing their space.

I'd really like to take a Disney Cruise, but if we're not a family in the traditional sense, is this a smart move? Also, do you think that we'll feel out of place and uncomfortable?

I very rarely care about these issues. But to be locked on a ship for a week and not be able to enjoy it, I'd hate it.

Your thoughts?

 

[plutojudy]

Go and enjoy!

 

[KEH]

I think (hope) that you wouldn't find it a problem. However, I have one suggestion. How about if you tried to team up with some fellow Diser's on the same cruise as table mates? Then you needn't feel awkward as you would all know all about each other beforehand. I feel bad even typing that - I hope it doesn't sound as though I think you need to reveal all or that you have anything to be ashamed of. I certainly don't mean it like that. Perhaps I'll just shut up now - I hope you know what I am trying to say.

 

[geffric]

Rick.. I personally feel that you and Joe will not have any issue what so ever...As you are aware, there are many areas on the ship are for adults only.. so if you do or do not have children with you is not obvious..

in fact if you want to take a cruise at the same time that we do, you can have my children for the length of the cruise and I'll sit in the adult areas.. . Also we would be very happy to have you join us at the dinner table..

no worries....

 

[Roemama1]

Originally posted by RickinNYC
Hi folks. I have a hypothetical situation and wanted to get some input from the DCL pros.


I should also mention that my partner and I are extremely friendly, well spoken, outgoing and tend to be a lot of fun. We're great conversationalists and have HUGE senses of humor. I personally think we'd be fun at your table, but sometimes folks can't or won't look at that and just see two gay guys sharing their space.

Your thoughts?

I personally wish I was going on the same cruise. You guys sound like alot of fun and would love for you to be sitting with my family! Just my .02.

 

[RickinNYC]

Originally posted by KEH
I think (hope) that you wouldn't find it a problem. However, I have one suggestion. How about if you tried to team up with some fellow Diser's on the same cruise as table mates? Then you needn't feel awkward as you would all know all about each other beforehand. I feel bad even typing that - I hope it doesn't sound as though I think you need to reveal all or that you have anything to be ashamed of. I certainly don't mean it like that. Perhaps I'll just shut up now - I hope you know what I am trying to say.

No worries KEH. I do know what you're trying to say.

I guess I should also clarify something as well. Neither my partner nor I are ashamed of ourselves in the slightest. Although we don't march in any parades, shout it to the roof tops or wave a rainbow flag, we're still very much proud of ourselves, each other and of our 13+ year relationship.

Nevertheless, we're both still very aware of the reality and there are some folks who 1.) do not accept homosexuality, 2.) do not want to socialize with homosexuals, 3.) would be upset having to share a table with a gay couple, 4.) and most of all, make no bones about the glares, comments, etc...

I may not like the reality, but it's one I live with daily.

 

[sillysmom]

Rick, I don't think there will be any problem. But I guess it depends on a number of things. I have an 8 year old daughter, and she is aware of the differences between hetero couples and gay couples, BUT, I wouldn't want to sit with a hetero couple that was all over each other during a meal, and the same goes for a gay couple. That being said, I would have no problem sitting with a bunch of fun people that made myself, hubby and DD feel welcome, no matter what their sexual orientation.

 

[RickinNYC]

Originally posted by sillysmom
Rick, I don't think there will be any problem. But I guess it depends on a number of things. I have an 8 year old daughter, and she is aware of the differences between hetero couples and gay couples, BUT, I wouldn't want to sit with a hetero couple that was all over each other during a meal, and the same goes for a gay couple. That being said, I would have no problem sitting with a bunch of fun people that made myself, hubby and DD feel welcome, no matter what their sexual orientation.

Yikes! No worries there! Overly "touchy" or "kissy" public displays of affection or gross no matter the situation! LOL! Yeesh!

At best, Joe and I would potentially smile at each other, finish the other one's sentence, crack the other one up, laugh, perhaps touch an arm or shoulder or maybe a hand. But that's about it. We're pretty old school.

 

[62travelDisney]

The question is not whether we would want to sit with you (yes, absolutely) it's whether you would want to sit with US (4 kids, yikes!) Go, enjoy, live your life, probably just as in your everyday life there will be very loving people and those that are intolerant. Pray for the former.....

 

[RickinNYC]

Actually having those kids around at the table would be par for the course. It's Disney for cryin' out loud! If he/I/we minded children, we'd certainly never go to WDW, let alone be locked up on a floating ship with hundreds of them! LOL!

Kids make it more fun/entertaining. Besides, it's just a meal right? You're the one that has to stay in the same cabin with them for hours on end... Just kidding!!!

Honestly? We don't have kids and for obvious reasons, we likely never will. It's nice to live vicariously through another family.

 

[cadburysmom]

Hi Rick!

DS9 and I would be honored if you and Joe would dine with us on our cruise next January......you crack me up and I know I'd be laughing throughout dinner........but just know that if you get out of line, I'm definitely gonna smack you upside your big ol' 6'4" head.......and I'll try not to get any Cheeto crumbs on you....

 

[jrabbit]

Here's my opinion:
Go, have fun, enjoy your tablemates at dinner have a great time.

I think that the following suggestions would help to minimize any negativity from you fellow cruise mates.
*Definately have late dinner seating - less kids present.
*Don't be blantant about your sexuality (even something as innocent as holding hands at dinner - because there are many, many people who will be uncomfortable with that).
*Enjoy the adult activities
*When participating in family activities (like the sail away parties) keep a low profile (ie no dancing with each other - it's a double standard - 2 ladies dancing together - "must be sisters or friends", not lesbians, but 2 guys dancing - gotta be gay). *Dancing in the adult clubs in the evening you probably won't even be noticed.

If this thread dosn't get yanked (have no idea if it will) I'm sure many people will be saying "stay away from my kids".

I'm pretty sure that there was a gay couple on one of our past cruises. We stood in line waiting to board the ship with them. We had a nice visit with them and ran into them a few times during the course of the cruise. They said that they really enjoyed the DCL cruise and that they had been on many, many other cruises.

Good luck. If you decide to go I hope that you have a fabulous time.
----
Dang, there were no responses when I started typing and 5 by the time I posted this.

 

[DisneyForLife]

Go for it, I would love to have you both at my table with my family if we were on the same cruise.
It is such a shame that in the world we live in today that you would even have to think of something like that.
Please go and enjoy yourselves, if you happen to be at a table you do not feel comfortable at (and I highly doubt that will happen), you can always make a request to move.

 

[CGC33A]

Personnally I would love to have you as table mates. Interesting male companionship is a dream of mine (glad my spouse doesn't read these boards!) My husband does not like to vacation so I go with girlfriends (and kids) all of the time. Who knows, maybe others think we are gay (but I think 2 women together does not attract the kind of attention 2 men do). That said, do you have siblings or close friends with nieces and nephews or kids? A Disney cruise is a lot of fun seeing it through kids eyes & there are the adults only areas (or kids to the clubs) so you don't have to be around them all of the time. Of course you would have your own rooms so no problem there. If you don't have possible children traveling companions, what about going with some other adults. People might just think you are cast members on vacation. I know some people are not tolerant but as sillysmom said, they wouldn't like to see hetero couples all over each other either. So if you are "conservative" around families, I would hope you wouldn't have any problems and be able to enjoy yourselves.

 

[zyezye]

Hi there,
My partner and I have just booked our third Disney cruise. We are a lesbian couple that has met wonderful tablemates. Just be your kind, wonderful selves and things will be fine!
Wish you were going on our cruise!
Bobbi

 

[RickinNYC]

We are indeed "conservative" behaving but not because we feel the need to hide anything. It's just the way we both are. I was raised on a Naval base in a military family my whole life!

And we're not hand holders. My hand gets too darn sweaty and gross. I can only tolerate it for minutes at a time. Besides at dinner, I'm too busy putting food in my mouth!! I don't wanna worry about holding someone's hand passionately.

 

[AprilN]

I think you would have a great time on the cruise. Yes, the potential for unfortunate tablemates is there (and difficult to anticipate), but you can always change your seating arrangements after the first night! I'm sure your head waiter would be more than happy to move you to another table if the first table is just plain unfriendly, and would probably have good instincts about which tables would be more friendly.

Of course, it might have nothing to do with the tablemates' feelings about you - some people are just duds.

My DH and I would love to share a table with you and Joe.

P.S. - are those trip reports done yet?!?

 

[Scratch42]

come in All Shapes, Sizes, and whatever!

I for one would love to have you guys as dinner mates!

So let us know when you guys are planning on sailing then you can pick which ones here are the lucky ones!

Scratch

 

[tksbaskets]

Ricky,
I sure can see you point about not wanting to be saddled w/intollerant table mates. I think the suggestion of linking with a nice DIS couple or family is a great one and then you wouldn't have to worry about that.

I felt the atmosphere on the Disney ship was wonderful for letting everyone have fun and 'do their own thing'. You and your partner should have no problem having a blast!

We are booked for the 10-day Christmas cruise. Come with us. We have early seating. I must warn you that my 13 yo twins will talk your ears off and that the DH and I are usually the last to leave. We enjoy lingering over desert and coffee.

Be yourselves, be happy, come cruising with DISers!!

 

[ScrapHappyMama]

Rick,

I have not yet cruised (going May 1st!) so I can't give you any really "insider" info, but I think no matter what a person's sexual orientation or skin color or whatever else might make them different, they should not be expected to tolerate getting dirty looks or snide comments all week long at dinner. Unfortunately, as you are aware, there are some people in this world that are not tolerant. And I say, if you encounter those type of people as dining companions, ask to be moved to a different table. You and your partner have just as much right to go and enjoy the cruise as any one else does!!!

Linda