Your child's school rules: the stupid, weird, or just plain annoying

[sparklynails23]

Our school just made parent/teacher conferences mandatory, which is fine, but they only have them between 9 am and 3:30 pm.

At lunch, the principal told the boys in my son's class that they had to divide equally between two lunch tables. Then she scolded the boys the other day for not letting an extra boy sit at one table because the table had already reached its maximum kid limit.

We also have parents volunteer for lunch. Not everyone volunteers, but I do. When I've gone in, I've always taken lunch for my son, usually fast food. The new principal made a rule about no fast food.

 

[cristit14]

I agree that Columbine changed things - but for the record, kids can carry their backpacks (not clear) all day long at Columbine

They can wear hoodies too.

 

[Feckless]

The rules don't necessarily defy logic simply because someone doesn't agree with them.

Why not determine the reason or logic for all the school's rules (not just the ones one finds annoying) and work to get them changed.

Generally, such rules aren't made just for fun or to entertain the school staff or annoy parents; there's a legitimate purpose.

 

[scrapquitler]

When do your middle schoolers eat lunch and get out of school? My 13yo has the last lunch period at about noon, and they get out at 2:30. If she skips lunch, it's no big deal because it's only a couple more hours. She eats breakfast before leaving for school at 6:45. I would be ravenous by noon, but all she's usually hungry for is an apple, smoothie or pretzel. There have been days she hasn't eaten anything, and it's no big deal.:

My high school daughter gets dropped off at 6:45 (school starts at 7:30, she does tutoring some mornings, studies the others), and her lunch on A days is at 10:40. On B Days, her lunch is at 11:15. School gets out at 2, but she often doesn't get picked up until 3:30 and then twice a week goes straight to dance class (which is until 7:30). So yes, skipping lunch would be a big deal. That's why we always make sure she has plenty of money in her lunch account, and I throw food at her in the car when I pick her up at school to take her to dance.

 

[luvmy3]

Never heard of opting out of lunch, that isn't an option here in our school district.

Its common here. Alot of the students do it so that they aquire all their credits needed to graduate before Sr year. Then in Sr year they only have to take the 4 required courses. They can either leave at noon or come in late (not sure what time) and leave at regular dismissal time. My dd will be a Freshman next year and is planning on doing this. She better get used to eating a big breakfast

 

[a1tinkfans]

as far as weird crazy etc...how about

No chests (they use another word, boys and girls alike) showing but all else is okay...so the other day when I saw two young girls with shorts that barely covered their cheeks, and waistbands so low their tat's on their entire lower backs showed and the gap between their pelvis and tops were totally bare...was all OKAY...because their chests were not exposed???? by whose standards???
WHERE are the parents ???????????????
They looked terrible...and they were such pretty young girls...WHY? Is it for attention?... I suppose that is what they like?
But at school???? I think it is totally inappropriate (even if it was not worn at school IMHO

 

[pacrosby]

as far as weird crazy etc...how about

No chests (they use another word, boys and girls alike) showing but all else is okay...so the other day when I saw two young girls with shorts that barely covered their cheeks, and waistbands so low their tat's on their entire lower backs showed and the gap between their pelvis and tops were totally bare...was all OKAY...because their chests were not exposed???? by whose standards???
WHERE are the parents ???????????????
They looked terrible...and they were such pretty young girls...WHY? Is it for attention?... I suppose that is what they like?
But at school???? I think it is totally inappropriate (even if it was not worn at school IMHO

If you go over to the thread on parents who restrict teenage dating, some will tell you it's probably because their parents won't let them date

 

[Cindy B]

Never heard of opting out of lunch, that isn't an option here in our school district.

My son has opted out of his high school lunch for three years now. Because of this, he has the correct amount of credits to graduate in his junior year..

To him, a lunch period is a wasted of time.

My daughter also goes to high school. She takes a lunch, she'd rather chat and eat instead of bank credits.

 

[3boymthr]

I hadn't even thought of the "chocking someone" aspect. I was thinking more along the lines that schools may not allow hoodies espeically to be worn in case a kid went all nuts and wanted to "help hide his face" with the hoodie or as you wrote hide weapons.

But hats as a whole aren't allowed in DD's school, unless it's funky hat day where kids pay 1.00 to wear a hat, which kind of boggled me.

FWIW our school banned hoodies because the kids weren't hiding their faces but rather their ears and the inserted ear buds.

Of course last year they rescinded the rule banning MP3 players - the kids can use them in class as long as the teacher is not actively instructing and they only have in one ear bud.

What I find perplexing is that while kids can have ipods and ipads, they cannot have a Kindle or similar??? So I had to go out and buy hard copies of Oldest DS' summer reading classic literature instead of getting them for free in e-book format. (and no, they did not specify specific editions of the classics the kids had to read)

 

[spaceacewannabe]

Yikes, with school rules like that, ya gotta wonder why which might make ya more than annoyed. ::

I would say understanding why the rules are in place would help with being glad they are there and enforced. OP, for most parents and kids, the rules seem pointless. That is GREAT! It means those parents and kids aren't coming up with the naughty stuff those rules are in place to prevent.

I don't know if dd can carry a purse, but you can't use backpacks to go from class to class, same as when I was there. I can't imagine where the students would put the backpacks when they got to class.

One rule in HS is that if I don't call the school and let them know my child is sick by a certain time (10:30?), the child will have in school suspension the next day.

This is another good point about backpacks---yes, there is a weapon issue, but there is also a space issue. We started last year letting kids bring backpacks to homeroom (end of the day) so they could get organized. We had to discontinue this because had there been a fire, it would have been very difficult and dangerous to get out of the classrooms---so it's a safety hazard in at least two ways.

I really don't mean to offend you.....and I have posted this in other threads......but why are people so uptight about rules these days?

Yes, I know seem silly, but I bet most are not arbitrary, and there is a legitimate reason for them. In some cases I suspect something happened and some angry parent wanted to know why there wasn't a rule against that in the first place.

And I am sincere, I don't mean to offend anyone, but sometimes I think we should just shake our heads at rules we don't like, and move on.

Very much agreed. We try to have as few rules as possible, but schools also need to protect their students and staff, as well as protect themselves legally.

DD's school has the same rules about the water bottle: this isn't a really stupid rule: they don't want kids to bring in Jack Daniels, Rum,etc and hiding it in the water bottle, however, I don't think they thought about if a kid brings in Vodka since it is clear.-this actually happened last year during field day on a few days before school got out, a kid got busted for having vodka in the 7th grade.

The backpacks not being able to be carried all day thing: This has always been a thing at DD's schools. Backpacks can carry weapons,etc. She is in middle school now, they also get a few locker breaks,so it is like high school. In the morning, get your first few subjects materials, after lunch get a locker break then get the last few classes materials.

Hoodies: that is more for safety issue to.

Schools wanting clear backpacks, safety reason.

I think the shootings at Columbine really changed how schools have certain rules. In DD"s schools, as soon as you get in the school, go to your locker put your coat away, no coats allowed in class.

People need to think about some of these rules: I think if there weren't some of the rules in place and something happened, the same people would wonder why a rule wasn't in place. generally speaking.

We weren't allowed to carry backpacks when I was in school, either, pre-Columbine. I think the rule has been in place in a lot of places for a long time---I think people are just more likely to object to rules now. I don't mean this to offend and I'm not directing this to the OP---I include myself in this. I think it it societally more acceptable to voice objections---which is not necessarily a bad thing!

Re: clear liquids, while alcohol is a concern, I think the energy drinks are the bigger problem. I actually think it might turn out that they are more damaging than alcohol, plus they are easy for kids to get because they're legally. I've had kids I've referred because I suspected they were high---and they'd just had Monster for breakfast

 

[spaceacewannabe]

My high school daughter gets dropped off at 6:45 (school starts at 7:30, she does tutoring some mornings, studies the others), and her lunch on A days is at 10:40. On B Days, her lunch is at 11:15. School gets out at 2, but she often doesn't get picked up until 3:30 and then twice a week goes straight to dance class (which is until 7:30). So yes, skipping lunch would be a big deal. That's why we always make sure she has plenty of money in her lunch account, and I throw food at her in the car when I pick her up at school to take her to dance.

I am guilty of not reading the whole thread, but I will say that the lunch times stink. As a teacher, I understand how it works in the schedule. As a human, I hate it. I eat lunch at 10:15 a.m.

 

[mhsjax]

Its common here. Alot of the students do it so that they aquire all their credits needed to graduate before Sr year. Then in Sr year they only have to take the 4 required courses. They can either leave at noon or come in late (not sure what time) and leave at regular dismissal time. My dd will be a Freshman next year and is planning on doing this. She better get used to eating a big breakfast

I would love that option. Our HS starts late enough that DD would eat in the am, DS in 9th grade eats enough for a small army in the am, but you know how those growing boys are. that would be great to be able to get out early. Just doesn't work that way here, oh well.

 

[torinsmom]

DS12 is in middle school (7th grade). They do not allow drop offs of any kind. No forgotten homework, books, instruments, gym clothes, etc. While I understand WHY, and I do agree with the sink or swim on those things, and hopefully the lessons learned, they also do not allow drop offs of lunch or lunch money.

I have a HUGE problem with that. If your child does not have money in their lunch account, and they forget their lunch, they will not get ANYTHING to eat. They do not get a sandwich, or crackers, or anything. They don't get three strikes. You forget even one time, and you are S.O.L. I don't know how this is going to teach them any kind of lesson- except that they will be hungry and will not be able to focus on school lessons that day.

I did strong arm my way into the office once last year, and the secretary made me feel like garbage for dropping of my DS's forgotten lunch. It only happened one time. I told her there was no way I was letting my kid starve for the day. If he forgot his homework, then he would have to deal with those consequences. But I won't let him go hungry all day.

If this is a public school, that is illegal. Schools must provide a minimal lunch to any child who does not have a lunch. At our school, it is PBJ sandwich, fruit and milk. If my DS17 forgot his lunch money, I wouldn't be able to bring it to him, as I teach in another district. He forgot one day, and now we have a $5 bill hidden in his backpack, just in case. I'm an adult and I forget things all the time, so it doesn't bother me that he forgets once in a while.

DD (12) started middle school (7th grade) this year, and they have the clear water bottle, water only rule as well.
They do not have a rule about no backpacks.
There are a couple of rules I thought were kind of odd while going through the 33 page handbook...one was gum chewing. I get they don't want the kids chewing gum, as then it gets stuck under desks, etc and the janitors are forever cleaning it up. BUT, in DD's school they have a demerit system, and chewing gum counts as 3 demerits, worse than swearing at a teacher, and the same as defacing school property. Really? I got caught with gum in middle school, and had to stick it on the end of my nose for the rest of the class.
The other one is about carrying something like Advil or Tylenol. If you have it in a purse, or on you anywhere, it counts the same as if you had an illegal drug and you would get suspended for 10 days. I get that they don't want you having any kind of pills but not sure it should carry the same punishment as true illegal drugs?!
There is nothing specified about getting your lunch or forgotten homework brought to you at school, but DD forgot her lunch once in elementary school, and they just had her borrow $ to buy lunch that day, and I reimbursed it the next day. If she forgets her homework, too bad really. She'll have to turn it in late, as it's her responsibility to bring it on time. Good thing she does 99% of the time!

DS's school has that policy too, and it's one we ignore. He carries 10 ibuprofen in his backpack, and knows to take them in a bathroom stall if he needs to take them. He gets headaches, but would never take the time to go to the nurse's office. He came home a few days with migraines from not taking anything early on, and I decided it was worth the risk for him to have some meds with him.

 

[mjantz]

If this is a public school, that is illegal. Schools must provide a minimal lunch to any child who does not have a lunch. At our school, it is PBJ sandwich, fruit and milk. If my DS17 forgot his lunch money, I wouldn't be able to bring it to him, as I teach in another district. He forgot one day, and now we have a $5 bill hidden in his backpack, just in case. I'm an adult and I forget things all the time, so it doesn't bother me that he forgets once in a while.
.

That was my understanding as well. I thought it fell under the national lunch program. You can't deny lunch as punishment in school so I'm surprised non ones called them on denying kids food.

 

[DisneyLoverUSA]

Our schools don't have very many rules. We are kind of a small town. 25k residents. My kids school has 600 students and there is no policy about not being able to drop anything off for the kids. About once a week my son forgets to take his medicine in the morning and he will go to the office and call me and I drive back up there and take him his pill and the office just calls him to the office and I give him the pill and a bottle of water and leave. It is partially his fault and partially mine. I remind him (most mornings) to take his pill after he eats but sometimes I forget to follow up and ask him if he really took it or not. Those are usually the days he forgets. He is only 10 and doesn't have a fully functioning organized brain like some older kids might. He is good about keeping up with all his school books, homework, folders, etc. Last year he called me to bring in a library book he forgot at home that was due back in that day and it was his day to go to the library. I took it. I didn't mind.

Our school has lunch accounts where you put money on your kid's account or they get it reduced or free if they qualify, but you put money on it and if for some reason you forget to load it they will still let the kid get a lunch and the account goes negative until you put more money on it. They would NEVER turn a kid away and tell them they couldn't have a lunch. I would be horrified if they would do that to any kid. And for a parent to refuse to take their kid a lunch they forgot just to teach them a lesson is pathetic. Trying TOO HARD to push your kids to act like adults isn't any better for them then coddling them and babying them. Anybody can forget or make a mistake. And YES ABSOLUTELY 7 hours is WAY TOO LONG for any kid to go without food. You may go 10 hours at night while you are asleep but that is what our bodies are built to do. Our brains and organs shut down, our metabolism shuts down, there are no processes running that require calories, so comparing sleeping to going awake all day without food is just not very intelligent. Think about that one a little bit. They are not even the same thing AT ALL. I do feel sorry for kids with parents like that. Especially if they see how loving their friends parents are if they forget something and get it brought to them and then to know OH WELL MY MOM WON'T BRING ME ANY FOOD I am just S.O.L. That's sad.

Our school makes the kids put the backpacks in their locker after they take their things out of it for the day. But there is no rule about the backpacks being clear or mesh.

Our school allows water bottles of any color and they do not restrict what the child has in it to drink. They do not tell us it has to be water. It can be juice or Coke or whatever you want them to have. Mine don't usually take a water bottle just because they don't like keeping up with it. But I am glad they give them the option. Kids should have more than just 5 or 6 ounces of water at lunch time. If they are in school for 7 hours they should have a few ounces of water every hour or two minimum to stay hydrated.

Our school allows hoodies or any kind of jacket and they SAY it has to be school colors, red, khaki, blue or black. But they don't enforce that. My daughter has a black hoodie that she wears but my son's light jacket is brown and he wears it every day because it stays so cold in the school. He doesn't have a jacket that are school colors. He wears what he has. Nobody says anything.

All of our district's schools have a zero tolerance policy on weapons, alcohol and drugs.

And the one my DD11 hates, no unnatural hair color. She wants a pink stripe in her hair so bad she can't stand it but they have that rule all the way through junior high and high school, so she just can't do that to her hair, unless she just does it for the summer and puts it back before school starts. I am not sure I would even let her. It's not an issue yet.

OH, they do have a rule about no open toe shoes, but that is just for safety reasons. I get that one. No sandals or flip flop. Jeans and pants can't have rips or holes in them, not even the kind you buy that way on purpose.

Uniforms shirts are suppose to be tucked in and all students are suppose to wear a brown or black belt. They don't enforce that one either. Hardly any of the kids actually tuck and most don't wear belts.

 

[marcyinPA]

If this is a public school, that is illegal. Schools must provide a minimal lunch to any child who does not have a lunch. At our school, it is PBJ sandwich, fruit and milk. If my DS17 forgot his lunch money, I wouldn't be able to bring it to him, as I teach in another district. He forgot one day, and now we have a $5 bill hidden in his backpack, just in case. I'm an adult and I forget things all the time, so it doesn't bother me that he forgets once in a while.



.

That was my understanding as well. I thought it fell under the national lunch program. You can't deny lunch as punishment in school so I'm surprised non ones called them on denying kids food.

Interesting. I didn't know this. It is a public school, and they implement this "sink or swim" attitude in middle school through high school. In elementary, they will give you a pb and j or a cheese sandwich.

I find it to be cruel, but apparrantly, according to the Dis, it's ok not to feed kids all day.

 

[erincon23]

Our high school seems relaxed in comparison! Parents can drop stuff off, they make a general announcement during passing period (although how kids can hear it, I don't know). Backpacks carried from class to class are ok -- the school is large, and there's no way you'd get to your locker between classes. Water bottles -- clear and otherwise -- are allowed. They allow hoodies, which is good, because DS won't wear a coat, and has an entire hoodie wardrobe. They've gotten very strict about visitors lately -- you used to be able to walk in, sign in, and go where you need to go (I'm in and out of the school all the time, because I volunteer in the fine arts areas), but now you have to make an appointment with a teacher, the teacher has to notify the office, and a student runner has to walk you down to the classroom (which has complicated my volunteer life no end). But student safety has to be the primary guiding idea, and I'll abide by the rules.

The elementary school my boys went to was much stricter -- they're one school out of 9 in the district, and the only one to not allow the kids to have water bottles at all in the school. Every other school in the district let the kids have them to one extent or another (some classes, you had to keep all water bottles on a counter and had limited access, but you still had them) (and I know this because I was a substitute teacher in all the buildings). Our school was stricter about several other things as well, but fortunately I've blocked them all out.

 

[palavra]

I really don't mean to offend you.....and I have posted this in other threads......but why are people so uptight about rules these days?

Yes, I know seem silly, but I bet most are not arbitrary, and there is a legitimate reason for them. In some cases I suspect something happened and some angry parent wanted to know why there wasn't a rule against that in the first place.

And I am sincere, I don't mean to offend anyone, but sometimes I think we should just shake our heads at rules we don't like, and move on.

You are a true voice of wisdom.

Schools rarely make rules just to annoy the parents. In most cases, a rule is made because irate parents have threatened to sue the school over an issue. Schools have to cater to a wide variety of people who all want things to be "their" way. There is no way to please everyone!

 

[palavra]

That isn't the issue -- it's the issue that the rules are overbroad and the baby is being thrown out with the bathwater.

Banning colored "water bottles" as a way to interdict alcohol is a ridiculous exercise in beating around the bush. Simply ban the consumption of alcohol on school premises. If the problem is alcohol then address the actual problem.

Don't want guns and knives? Then ban guns and knives, not handbags.

If a school wants to ban backpacks in the halls because people are getting bopped with them in crowded hallways, then that makes a certain amount of sense, but can be overcome by saying that bookbags cannot be carried on the back during passing times. Banning them because you MIGHT be able to put a hip-flask or a handgun in it is overkill.

The reason that I hate overbroad rules that are supposed to serve a sort of "dragnet" role is that they actually encourage people to ignore rules. Rules need to have a reasonable and narrow focus in order to have a decent chance at being obeyed by the majority. Make them too broad and they won't be respected.

Then get out there and work on the real issue-parents who sue over anything that they don't like. Rules have to be broad. Some of you may not believe that schools are sued over issues like these. As someone who is on the inside, I'll tell you that it happens more oftwn than you would think.

 

[palavra]

I completely understand what you are saying but this just goes against the way I want my world to work. I rarely support blanket policies. I don't support punishing everyone with unreasonable rules because of a few bad apples. In the case of the example you put forth I believe the school would need to work with that parent and student to try and find a solution. While I know there are some difficult parents out there, few want to be running to school everyday to drop off something their child forgot. I find it very hard to believe that in the overwhelming majority of cases it couldn't be handled effectively by simply working with the parent/child in question. No need to over react and make a federal case out of it.


When we react to every situation by creating a new 'rule', we risk creating a society that no one really wants to live in.

Idealism is wonderful; realism, at times, not so much.