Your child's school rules: the stupid, weird, or just plain annoying

[lemondog]

I am really surprised at all these rules! I guess I am lucky...my kids can hold hands, carry backpacks all day, use opaque water bottles, are fed lunch if they forget it (snack too). The only thing they don't allow is stuff to be dropped off to the child once school has started for the day -- homework, books, etc. The only exception is medication. They will feed the child if they forget their lunch or snack. Our strictest "rule" is our uniform code. Specific plaid for the girls' jumpers, specific color khaki for the boys' pants, shirts must have school logo, etc. But I understand that and actually appreciate it!

Of course this is a PreK - 8 Catholic school that is probably why. I do see the clear backpacks for sale so I have wondered if some of the high schools require that. I can't imagine having to haul your books around all day with nothing to carry them in!

ETA: Okay actually I just thought of one rule they have I do not agree with! Opening prayers are at 7:55, if you arrive after that you are considered tardy. Receive 4 unexcused tardies per quarter and the child has detention on Sat. morning (for grades 3-8, if your child is PreK-2 the parents get a stern talking to). Now....I don't know of any 3rd - 8th grader that can drive, so I would blame the parents for the tardy. How is it fair to punish the children? Now granted there are some instances where the child is the reason for the tardy, however I know if my kids are late to school it's almost always because I didn't have my butt in gear and if we ever got detention for it I would probably go down there and argue my case with the principal.

 

[princessmom29]

Point taken....but rules don't necessarily make sense because others are willing to go along with them either. Some people are just followers. Many others don't care as long it doesn't inconvenience them, regardless of how dumb it is.


I happen to think that not allowing a parent to drop off a lunch/glasses/permision slip or money for a field trip absolutely defies logic.

Just because someone can come up with a reason, doesn't make it 'reasonable'

I know it's no longer popular, but I believe in common sense

I can give a little bit of insight here. Rules have to be so absolute in a lot of cases because of the small minority of parents who lack common sense. For example: the parent who drops off the kid's forotten stuff every day and gets angry when told to stop becuase "there is no rule agianst it". They go to the school board to complain, and becuase there is not a rule about the situation, if you want to stop this parent a rule has to be made. It has to be absolute becuas the definiton of "occasional" is not the same for this parent as it is for the school, and inevitably someone is going to push that beyond the bounds of common sense. Most of these "silly" school rules come about becuase someone has abused the system.

 

[princessmom29]

I am really surprised at all these rules! I guess I am lucky...my kids can hold hands, carry backpacks all day, use opaque water bottles, are fed lunch if they forget it (snack too). The only thing they don't allow is stuff to be dropped off to the child once school has started for the day -- homework, books, etc. The only exception is medication. They will feed the child if they forget their lunch or snack. Our strictest "rule" is our uniform code. Specific plaid for the girls' jumpers, specific color khaki for the boys' pants, shirts must have school logo, etc. But I understand that and actually appreciate it!

Of course this is a PreK - 8 Catholic school that is probably why. I do see the clear backpacks for sale so I have wondered if some of the high schools require that. I can't imagine having to haul your books around all day with nothing to carry them in!

ETA: Okay actually I just thought of one rule they have I do not agree with! Opening prayers are at 7:55, if you arrive after that you are considered tardy. Receive 4 unexcused tardies per quarter and the child has detention on Sat. morning (for grades 3-8, if your child is PreK-2 the parents get a stern talking to). Now....I don't know of any 3rd - 8th grader that can drive, so I would blame the parents for the tardy. How is it fair to punish the children? Now granted there are some instances where the child is the reason for the tardy, however I know if my kids are late to school it's almost always because I didn't have my butt in gear and if we ever got detention for it I would probably go down there and argue my case with the principal.

What do you think would be a good solution to a student who was continually tardy?

 

[MamaLema]

I guess we're lucky. Our school doesn't have any of these silly rules. They even have a large table set up in front of the office for parents who forgot to send lunches. The child simply goes and gets it at lunch time.

My kids can carry backpacks, purses, have water in stainless steel containers, etc

 

[pacrosby]

I tried to find information for the schools in my city, but could only find the high school and one elementary school.

It seems most posters who think the "no drop-offs" rule is ridiculous are looking at it from the individual perspective, not the school's. The elementary school has about 350 students. If even 15% of those students each day needed something dropped off, that's fifty things someone who has other real job duties has to be taken away from their regular job to notify and distribute. Our high school has over 1,950 students Even 5% drop-offs would be close to 100 parents showing up every day - with, again, those forgotten items needing to be distributed.

Point taken, however -

I honestly don't believe that many kids forget things that need to be dropped off. We have about the same number of students in our lower elementary school (K-2). We have no such rule. Nor does the upper elementary school (about twice the number of kids). Nor the middle school (same number as the uper elementary).

You don't put silly rules in place because your afraid of what will happen if you don't. You deal with problems as they come. If a lot of kids are forgetting things and it's inconveniencing the front office you call a parent meeting to discuss it. You discuss the problem with the kids in the classrooms. You set some guidelines. If it's becoming a chronic problem for some kids/parents, you set some consequences. But not allowing to eat, or see, or go on the field trip next Wednesday because they (and their parent) had the nerve to be human and make a mistake is....


UNREASONABLE.


There, I rest my case

 

[luvmy3]

I do know our schools have a rule of no unnatural hair colors and nothing like big spiked Mohawks. No earrings on boys, no unnatural piercings like lips and eyebrows.

I can't believe there are even parents out there who think it is ok for a kid to go 7 hours with no food. OH THEY'LL LIVE. I feel sorry for your kid with that attitude.

There's NO WAY I would allow that school to tell me I couldn't drop off my kid's lunch or lunch money. WATCH ME!

Well, they will live so its not really that big of a deal. When my dd was 12 she was responsible for making her own lunches if she forgot to bring it she knew I was not driving it in for her. She was also responsible for telling me that her acct balance was low since the kids are told by the cashier. So, even though her school doesn't have that rule, mom does.
Ironically at the age of 13/14 when a student starts HS they can opt to not have a lunch period, which means they go without food for 7 hours by choice. Oh the horror

 

[pacrosby]

I can give a little bit of insight here. Rules have to be so absolute in a lot of cases because of the small minority of parents who lack common sense. For example: the parent who drops off the kid's forotten stuff every day and gets angry when told to stop becuase "there is no rule agianst it". They go to the school board to complain, and becuase there is not a rule about the situation, if you want to stop this parent a rule has to be made. It has to be absolute becuas the definiton of "occasional" is not the same for this parent as it is for the school, and inevitably someone is going to push that beyond the bounds of common sense. Most of these "silly" school rules come about becuase someone has abused the system.

I completely understand what you are saying but this just goes against the way I want my world to work. I rarely support blanket policies. I don't support punishing everyone with unreasonable rules because of a few bad apples. In the case of the example you put forth I believe the school would need to work with that parent and student to try and find a solution. While I know there are some difficult parents out there, few want to be running to school everyday to drop off something their child forgot. I find it very hard to believe that in the overwhelming majority of cases it couldn't be handled effectively by simply working with the parent/child in question. No need to over react and make a federal case out of it.


When we react to every situation by creating a new 'rule', we risk creating a society that no one really wants to live in.

 

[pixiefairy]

I've been a mom for 16 years, and I have to say I don't know of any totally unreasonable rules at the schools they've attended in our district. I wish that they'd actually ENFORCE some of them more often (i.e. the clothing that they "ban" at the high school not being actively banned. As soon as the weather turns nice, the "denim underwear" appear, lol). But, they don't have a rule about not dropping lunches, or money or any other thing. My high schooler will not lower himself to bring a lunch from home (insert sarcasm), so he either brings money, shares with friends, brings a protein bar, or goes hungry. His choice. He starts school at 7:05, and lunch is around 11:30, so if he doesn't eat there, he comes home at 2:30 and eats then. I brought him lunch once this year, just as a treat. I was a little amazed at the plethora of things that were on the table in the attendance office waiting for the kids to retrieve. I have never had to bring anything to him (he's a junior), so I never noticed, lol. My 10 year old has never forgotten lunch, my dd7 has multiple times, however. I did institute a "make sure you have it before we go, because I will not bring it" rule myself this year. I remind them on the way out the door and the way out of the car. The school will give cheese and crackers if they forget a lunch and if they have money in their lunch account (or have one set up) they do allow a negative balance that will be settled up the next time you deposit money into that account. They have automated calls to remind you, as well.

I have found some of the rules a hassle in the past, but they are there for a reason. As parents, we stop in the front office after getting buzzed in, our license has to be scanned, and we are given a pass. No parents wandering the halls. A few years back a man came in to pick up his girlfriend's child, went through procedure and was found to be in the sex offender database and was flagged. The secretaries kept calm, called the police and it was quietly handled. I called them after I found out and told them, "I know I've gotten fed up sometimes, but thanks for doing your jobs". Things like that bring home the reason for some of the rules. Others, like no snacks (too many food allergies) are there for a reason, but they can't police non healthy snacks, so they did away with them completely. Also, their class parties are pretty much snack free, except for animal crackers and water. My older kids remember the old parties, and mourn the loss, but the younger ones have NO idea all the sugar and goodies that used to be passed out, so they have no idea what they missed, lol. Again, food allergies were just too prevalent, so they had to make changes.

 

[kaytieeldr]

Point taken, however -

I honestly don't believe that many kids forget things that need to be dropped off. We have about the same number of students in our lower elementary school (K-2). We have no such rule. Nor does the upper elementary school (about twice the number of kids). Nor the middle school (same number as the uper elementary).

You don't put silly rules in place because your afraid of what will happen if you don't. You deal with problems as they come. If a lot of kids are forgetting things and it's inconveniencing the front office you call a parent meeting to discuss it. You discuss the problem with the kids in the classrooms. You set some guidelines. If it's becoming a chronic problem for some kids/parents, you set some consequences. But not allowing to eat, or see, or go on the field trip next Wednesday because they (and their parent) had the nerve to be human and make a mistake is....


UNREASONABLE.


There, I rest my case

I don't think they set the rules because they're afraid of what might happen, but rather to control what has happened.

 

[pacrosby]

I don't think they set the rules because they're afraid of what might happen, but rather to control what has happened.

Honestly, it really doesn't change my point. You can't control everything. IMO, it's about time we stopped trying and started to use our heads again.

 

[princessmom29]

I completely understand what you are saying but this just goes against the way I want my world to work. I rarely support blanket policies. I don't support punishing everyone with unreasonable rules because of a few bad apples. In the case of the example you put forth I believe the school would need to work with that parent and student to try and find a solution. While I know there are some difficult parents out there, few want to be running to school everyday to drop off something their child forgot. I find it very hard to believe that in the overwhelming majority of cases it couldn't be handled effectively by simply working with the parent/child in question. No need to over react and make a federal case out of it.


When we react to every situation by creating a new 'rule', we risk creating a society that no one really wants to live in.

In my experience, no these parents cannot be reasoned with to work toward a solution. Typically those that continue to abuse whent they have been asked to stop and given a reason why they need to stop are not interested in working it out. They want thier way and that is pretty much it, and it isn't just lunches. That was just the example that had been given. Most of the time we are dealing with much larger issues. In an ideal world yes everyone would be rational and willing to compromise but unfortunately, we don't live in that kind of world. I agree with you that I really don't like having to make blanket policies, but oftentimes it is the only way a school can cover their legal rear end when someone decided to file a discrimination suit. "This is the policy for everyone" seems to be the only real defense anymore. A school offical using thier common sense to decide on a case by case basis is wide open to being labled and drummed out of a job.

 

[Mrs.Toad]

When do your middle schoolers eat lunch and get out of school? My 13yo has the last lunch period at about noon, and they get out at 2:30. If she skips lunch, it's no big deal because it's only a couple more hours. She eats breakfast before leaving for school at 6:45. I would be ravenous by noon, but all she's usually hungry for is an apple, smoothie or pretzel. There have been days she hasn't eaten anything, and it's no big deal.

I understand everyone is different and some middle schoolers might still have a hard time concentrating without a lunch, but for many, it's not a problem. Her school has a "no drop off" policy, too, but they have bread, PB, jelly and deli meats in the office for kids to make themselves a sandwich if they've forgotten their lunch. But most of them would rather go hungry than go to the office to make a sandwich.

 

[pacrosby]

In my experience, no these parents cannot be reasoned with to work toward a solution. Typically those that continue to abuse whent they have been asked to stop and given a reason why they need to stop are not interested in working it out. They want thier way and that is pretty much it, and it isn't just lunches. That was just the example that had been given. Most of the time we are dealing with much larger issues. In an ideal world yes everyone would be rational and willing to compromise but unfortunately, we don't live in that kind of world. I agree with you that I really don't like having to make blanket policies, but oftentimes it is the only way a school can cover their legal rear end when someone decided to file a discrimination suit. "This is the policy for everyone" seems to be the only real defense anymore. A school offical using thier common sense to decide on a case by case basis is wide open to being labled and drummed out of a job.

While I respect your point of view, we're just going to have to agree to disagree(again ).

The fact that it's already been stated here that many schools have no problem allowing parents to drop things off makes it clear that other schools have found ways to work reasonably with the issue.

And I will NEVER agree that we should simply lay down and defend the existance of blanket policies because....well, what else can we do. To me (no offense), it's a cop out. And a bit of a scary one at that.

 

[Mrs.Toad]

ETA: Okay actually I just thought of one rule they have I do not agree with! Opening prayers are at 7:55, if you arrive after that you are considered tardy. Receive 4 unexcused tardies per quarter and the child has detention on Sat. morning (for grades 3-8, if your child is PreK-2 the parents get a stern talking to). Now....I don't know of any 3rd - 8th grader that can drive, so I would blame the parents for the tardy. How is it fair to punish the children? Now granted there are some instances where the child is the reason for the tardy, however I know if my kids are late to school it's almost always because I didn't have my butt in gear and if we ever got detention for it I would probably go down there and argue my case with the principal.

Since parents have to get up and get the child to school on Saturday morning for detention, too, I guess it's a good punishment for both parent and child.

 

[SaraJayne]

See bolded. Far from it, actually. I agree with the no drop offs. My kid has forgotten homework, drum sticks and gym clothes and has suffered the consequences.

I think the "no food" rule is stupid, and I will not support it. Good for you that you feel that it is ok for your child to go without food from breakfast to pick up time. I know my kid would not be able to function, and I don't feel that it is worth it for him to mess up his entire day because he's hungry. And yes, he would be HUNGRY. He's a growing boy.

I have only had to bail him out once from grades 1-7 (so far)....I don't have one ounce of guilt over it. Not one ounce. (and no driving into town for me- the school is walking distance, and only a few seconds by car.)

Not to mention, he has high school football practice after school and won't be home until 6:30 to get something to eat. I won't allow him to go that long without eating. FTR, I've never had to bring him food, but I would if it was a screw up on my part (forgetting to send lunch money or something like that).

Luckily, our school doesn't have any rules I find annoying or stupid (yet! ). Kids can carry backpacks, wear hoodies, have breaks between classes for water, etc.

I've found our district does a great job of balancing safety vs. common sense.

 

[princessmom29]

While I respect your point of view, we're just going to have to agree to disagree(again ).

The fact that it's already been stated here that many schools have no problem allowing parents to drop things off makes it clear that other schools have found ways to work reasonably with the issue.

And I will NEVER agree that we should simply lay down and defend the existance of blanket policies because....well, what else can we do. To me (no offense), it's a cop out. And a bit of a scary one at that.

I agree with you about the little things. Some you just have to let go, and the lunch example was a poor one. What about larger issuses, such as safety? We have a blanket policy that ALL visitors must sign in before going to classrooms, and that only those listed on the child's transportation form can pick them up. Do you think that a blanket policy is ok in cases like this or is it something you would fight, becuase these are the types of situaitons where our hand has been forced in the past.

 

[LIDisneyFan]

How about a Performing Arts HS where you MUST practice every night but cannot bring instruments on the bus?

 

[pacrosby]

I agree with you about the little things. Some you just have to let go, and the lunch example was a poor one. What about larger issuses, such as safety? We have a blanket policy that ALL visitors must sign in before going to classrooms, and that only those listed on the child's transportation form can pick them up. Do you think that a blanket policy is ok in cases like this or is it something you would fight, becuase these are the types of situaitons where our hand has been forced in the past.

I think that I would accept that policy as being reasonable AS LONG AS there was room for common sense.

Case in point: my 8 yr old is a tennis player. Has been taking tennis at the YMCA for 3 years. ALL the coaches know us. He went to tennis camp this summer. The rule (blanket policy) is that you need a photo identification for pick up (of course why I don't need the same when I pick up after a lesson is beyond me LOL). I came the first day to pick him up. He was standing with two coaches I've known all these years (one is a jerk). The jerk asks me for my photo ID (after saying hello and calling me by name). I had just lost it and therefore didn't have one. He made a huge to do about it. Insisted I go back to my car and get my credit card and physically present it for inspection to be sure it had my name on it. Why? Because it was 'the rule'.

That there is the definition of stupid.

Bottom line IMO is, in theory, sometimes blanket rules do makes sense BUT there should always be room for common sense.

 

[Minnesota!]

The clear bottle rule is new at my DD's high school this year. And liquid has to be clear as well. Guess vodka is ok then.

Ha! We used to drink Zima out of our water bottles!

Didn't you carry a backpack to class when you were in school? Plenty of kids did back in the stone ages when I was in middle/high school.

Yeah, I think this is a stupid rule too.

nope, backpacks (well, actually Esprit bags thumbsup2) got carried into school, put in locker. Just grabbed needed books between classes.


Hearing these rules some have to put up with - I am glad my kids go to a small private school. No real rules. I agree that a kid isn't going to starve if they have to go for 7 hours or so without food (they make it through 10+ hours at night!). But my school will let them get hot lunch even with a $0 balance. They just need to remember their PIN. Last week I packed ODS' lunch. Nanny drops him and YDS off. She is helping YDS empty his back pack (preschool) and realized I put ODS' lunch into the wrong backpack.

So, completely my fault...and I am so glad she was able to run back to ODS school and drop it off. Mom-nesia at it's finest!

But this is just another shining example of why I chose small private schools. Less ridiculousness!

 

[mhsjax]

Well, they will live so its not really that big of a deal. When my dd was 12 she was responsible for making her own lunches if she forgot to bring it she knew I was not driving it in for her. She was also responsible for telling me that her acct balance was low since the kids are told by the cashier. So, even though her school doesn't have that rule, mom does.
Ironically at the age of 13/14 when a student starts HS they can opt to not have a lunch period, which means they go without food for 7 hours by choice. Oh the horror

Never heard of opting out of lunch, that isn't an option here in our school district.