Well, I have my first nonpaying bidder.
I had listed a Belle costume (one of the terrific gold lame ones they no longer sell.) My daughter virtually never wore it because it's too "scratchy" for her. The
Disney store did not remove the security tag, which is still attached. We live hours from any Disney store, so I clearly listed it with the tag attached.
The woman who won it did so for $29.99.
No payment; no payment. It's her first ebay transaction.
I finally got an email from her today saying she's uncomfortable about the tag and is going to take a pass on it. What to do??
I tossed it around inside myself, and finally sent her this:
Her name here--
I see by your feedback level that you are brandnew to Ebay, and this was your first bid.
I am assuming you probably don't know how it works.
When someone bids, they "sign" a contract which reads:
Your bid is a contract - Place a bid only if you're serious about buying the item. If you are the winning bidder, you will enter into a legally binding contract to purchase the
item from the seller. Seller assumes all responsibility for listing this item. You should contact the seller to resolve any questions before bidding. Auction currency is U.S.
dollars ( US $ ) unless otherwise noted.
If the winning bidder then does not pay, the seller does all they reasonably can, based on their assessment of "reasonable," to encourage the buyer to "pay up."
If the bidder still doesn't come through, then the seller is out both the listing fee and the final value fee that ebay collects.
In the case of the dress, I paid 55 cents to list it with the gallery option, and have already paid the $1.45 FVF.
The standard practice is to file a Non Paying Bidder Report with Ebay, which then refunds the the final value fee.
If a buyer gets 3 NPBs or so, they are suspended from Ebay.
Many sellers also leave negative feedback, which stays on your record permanently. If you look at my feedback, you will discover there is one negative, which came from an instance from a very small purchase (the total with shipping was less than $5), which I bid on, and then my son was hospitalized--3 times in 2 weeks-- for anaphylaxis. He nearly died and was critically ill for months. The seller would only accept money orders, and I had no time to go get one. I emailed her explaining the crisis, and told her
I'd send it when there was time. That wasn't good enough and I got the negative.
What I am saying is that you need to be very careful here. You don't want to be barred from Ebay before you begin, and you don't want your first transaction to be a negative feedback. The security tag is listed in the auction, so there is no Ebay basis for backing out. You're obligated.
But, as it happens, I am a presbyterian minister, and a strong believer in grace -- especially for the mothers of princesses.
I am going to let you off the hook, free and clear, absorb both the final value fee and the fee to relist it, not file anything regarding you,and give you another chance at an Ebay future.
Please be very careful that what you bid on you really want, because you probably won't be quite so lucky the next time.
A happy birthday to your daughter.
Grace and peace,
Erin Cox-Holmes
and a post office run 
