WTH Plus size clothes for kids!?! vent

[kristen821]

I don't have a weight problem so I am not "in denial," but both the OP and Disneyrsh's posts were completely judgemental and downright rude. I'm not sure which is worse, their posts or the posters supporting their rudeness.

 

[kristen821]

I agree with this statement. I have two acquaintences from my old neighborhood. Four years ago they both had sons in the 12 year old range who were overweight. One mom talked to her ped about it, and changed her sons diet. He's a big framed kid, so never going to be "slim" but his weight and height are now proportionate, and the mom also lost a few pounds (Dad was a twig to begin with)

The other family, the mom is morbidly obese herself, and dad is just overwhelemd with life--and probably 20 pounds overweight. Their son's weight has ballooned up, he is now morbidly obese at 16. Their younger son who was a healthy weight, is now becoming overweight at age seven. This family has a steady diet of fast food, I do'nt think their kitchen has been cooked in in three years.

Now on a personal basis, I like the overweight family a lot more. But which one do you think I have more respect for?

Anne

This is completely different because you know the facts. Other people on the thread are making general comments about people they don't know.

Although I would respect the family I like a lot more I am not sure which one you respect more.

 

[summerrluvv]

I quoted what you originally said. You said your mom made you play outside. Yes that was easier at the time. You need to realize that mothers in general if they aren't home the minute thier kids get home from school do not have the time to be outside with thier kids. When we were kids we could play outside by ourselves while mom was cooking dinner or cleaning up, but now parents need to be outside with thier children and that is where these sedentary lifestyles come in at times. All I am saying is not to be so quick to judge people on why they are overweight especially kids!

I guess it depends on where you live. Where I live, would I let my son play outside alone? No. I live in a busy development and there are a lot of people that fly through here. My sister lives on a dirt road in the "sticks" on a large lot with a semi long driveway. Her kids are fine outside alone. Growing up our favorite thing to do outside was to rake the lives and jump in them. Okay, well the raking part wasn't so fun My mom worked at night so there was plenty of time during the day to play outside and be supervised at the same time

I'm not judging anyone. I'm merely saying that I believe the weight problem is due to sedentary lifestyles these days.

 

[chobie]

This is completely different because you know the facts. Other people on the thread are making general comments about people they don't know.

Although I would respect the family I like a lot more I am not sure which one you respect more.

Yes, I would not based my respect for people based on one area of their life. For instance if one family got their kid's weight problem under control but were otherwise selfish, materialistic, judgmental etc., I might respect what they did for their kid but not them in general.

 

[BelleBoo&AmisMum]

I've read through all of the replies and I must say I'm shocked at some of the things that have been said!

I'm overweight, I have been my entire life as is my mom, aunts, grandmother and so on and so on. My children on the other hand are not. DS is 50th% for weight and 75th% for height - he's 9. He loves junk food and pop but we limit it, he gets one glass of pop one day a week and junk food is a treat not a right. DD #1 is 4, 90th% for weight and 95th% for height. She's the youngest in her class and is bigger than most of them. She's not fat at all, she loves to run and play, hates healthy foods (we give them to her anyway) and hates pop. She would live on cheese and whole wheat crackers, pizza, and yogurt if she could. Now DD#2 (17 months) is the interesting one, she's 10th% for weight and 75th% for height. She didn't gain weight for the longest time, she was at one point down to the 1st%. So when we're at the grocery store buying gallons of whole milk it's for her. She eats anything she can get her hands on too, she loves mac and cheese, though I usually make it from scratch. The only thing we limit her on is fried foods, we've made a choice to skip those until she's at least 2. Our ped says that all three are perfectly healthy and where they need to be, they're just different sizes.

I must admit I'm almost embarrassed that the OP is from my area, I have never encountered anyone like her IRL.

 

[ducklite]

This is completely different because you know the facts. Other people on the thread are making general comments about people they don't know.

Although I would respect the family I like a lot more I am not sure which one you respect more.

I like both familes, but prefer the company of the overweight one, if that makes sense.

I have more respect for the family who took the initiative to take control of their health. (The overweight family also has a plethora of weight related health issues including hypertension and diabetes--so it's not just a cosmetic issue.)

Anne

 

[kristen821]

I guess it depends on where you live. Where I live, would I let my son play outside alone? No. I live in a busy development and there are a lot of people that fly through here. My sister lives on a dirt road in the "sticks" on a large lot with a semi long driveway. Her kids are fine outside alone. Growing up our favorite thing to do outside was to rake the lives and jump in them. Okay, well the raking part wasn't so fun My mom worked at night so there was plenty of time during the day to play outside and be supervised at the same time

I'm not judging anyone. I'm merely saying that I believe the weight problem is due to sedentary lifestyles these days.

I agree that sometimes that is true, but not always and sometimes it just can't be helped.

 

[jackskellingtonsgirl]

I am 35, and I remember shopping at Sears when I was a little girl. We shopped there because they had "Slim" jeans. BUT they also had what they called "Pretty Plus", which were the same thing as "Husky" for boys. Plus sizes for kids aren't new.

My DS9 is TINY. This is not because I am a good or a bad parent, he is just small. Finding pants for him is a nightmare, compounded by the fact that he has to wear a uniform! We have been squeaking by with size 7 Polo chinos, but they are getting too short. Izod makes 7X, but they are loose in the waist. I have found the very expensive brands fit him better than the less expensive brands, which sucks. But he can wear his clothes for several years before he outgrows them, so maybe it's not so bad. He can still wear size 5/6 shirts from Gap.

The school sent home a list of needy kids along with their sizes so they could be "adopted". Those kids were ALL much bigger than DS, even though they were all younger. I don't know the kids personally, but I wouldn't think it is very healthy for a Kindergartener to wear a size 12! Most of these kids are from impoverished homes. There have been several studies talking about how healthy food is more costly than junk food, and poor families have a tough time feeding their kids a healthy diet. From the sizes of the kids on that list I would tend to think that must be true. On the other hand, I know a very wealthy mom who allows her overweight child to eat a very fatty, greasy diet because she can't be bothered to argue with him! It takes all kinds.

 

[JVL1018]

Well my kids are not overweight at all, and I agree with you wholeheartedly about lifestyle choices and such, however these kids still need clothes.
Not having them available won't make kids thinner.
As for soda--if you were out you would see my 4 and 6 year olds drinking soda..because the rule in my house is no soda at home, but it's okay for a treat at a restaurant. I think a lot of people do that.
My two don't like juice really, so they drink milk or water at home.
One soda every 2 weeks is not a problem IMO.

 

[Christine]

Well there seems to be a mutual admiration club going on between some people based on their self-proclaimed perfect parenting skills and apparently their physical attributes as well.

This has NOTHING to do with parenting skills and you just need to quit trying to stir the pot and get an US against THEM mentality going. I did not find anything "rude" in the OP or with disneyrsh. Honesty, maybe, but not rudeness. Were some of the thoughts judgemental? Sure they were. We all make judgements and guesses about people we do not know. Sometimes they are wrong, sometimes not. I do know that many people cannot take honesty because it hurts. Disneyrsh has done nothing but be factual and honest--maybe a bit blunt and to the point. No one here said that their kids physical attributes made them a perfect parent. Yes, my kids are thin. If you read my other posts you will see that I also buy ice cream, Hostess products, chips, and soda. In fact, my son is upstairs eating a plate of nachos right now for lunch. Am I happy about what my kids eat? Not really. Do I consider their body types a result of my "perfect parenting?" Heck no. Do I feel like I feed my kids better than some parents? Yes, I know I do. I do not bring Bundt cakes to Tae Kwon Do, I do not walk around with "snacks-on-the-ready", I do not feed Count Chocula for breakfast, I do not consider Tater Tot Casserole a healthy well-balanced meal. For goodness sake, all you have to do is go to one of those "whatcha making for dinner tonight threads" on this board to see where the problems lie with weight gain. It actually appalls me sometimes to read them. You can go through a 4-page thread on that subject and find maybe 5 people who are eating anything healthy and well-balanced. But to read this thread you'd think everyone was eating a well-balanced diet, yet gaining weight.

 

[FSUGrad97]

This has NOTHING to do with parenting skills and you just need to quit trying to stir the pot and get an US against THEM mentality going. I did not find anything "rude" in the OP or with disneyrsh. Honesty, maybe, but not rudeness. Were some of the thoughts judgemental? Sure they were. We all make judgements and guesses about people we do not know. Sometimes they are wrong, sometimes not. I do know that many people cannot take honesty because it hurts. Disneyrsh has done nothing but be factual and honest--maybe a bit blunt and to the point. No one here said that their kids physical attributes made them a perfect parent. Yes, my kids are thin. If you read my other posts you will see that I also buy ice cream, Hostess products, chips, and soda. In fact, my son is upstairs eating a plate of nachos right now for lunch. Am I happy about what my kids eat? Not really. Do I consider their body types a result of my "perfect parenting?" Heck no. Do I feel like I feed my kids better than some parents? Yes, I know I do. I do not bring Bundt cakes to Tae Kwon Do, I do not walk around with "snacks-on-the-ready", I do not feed Count Chocula for breakfast, I do not consider Tater Tot Casserole a healthy well-balanced meal. For goodness sake, all you have to do is go to one of those "whatcha making for dinner tonight threads" on this board to see where the problems lie with weight gain. It actually appalls me sometimes to read them. You can go through a 4-page thread on that subject and find maybe 5 people who are eating anything healthy and well-balanced. But to read this thread you'd think everyone was eating a well-balanced diet, yet gaining weight.

So, now you are saying that the comments made by the OP and Disneyrsh WERE judgemental? I think it's interesting that you are saying that their comments were "honest." Just being "honest" is not a license to be rude.

You can be honest, with tact.

 

[kristen821]

There were posters that were bashing parents of overweight kids including the op. I do believe in some case parents may be blamed, but not all. I don't even think I would say most. I think every parent loves thier child and wants the best for them. As you said your kids eat junk and are thin. My kids also can eat junk and are fine. My son is actually to skinny and can eat like a horse. Not all children can do that. I think what everyone is upset about is the judgemental, rude comments being made about people the poster doesn't even know. There are several things that can make a child overweight. It should not be assumed that the parents aren't doing a good job.

 

[chobie]

This has NOTHING to do with parenting skills and you just need to quit trying to stir the pot and get an US against THEM mentality going. I did not find anything "rude" in the OP or with disneyrsh. Honesty, maybe, but not rudeness. Were some of the thoughts judgemental? Sure they were. We all make judgements and guesses about people we do not know. Sometimes they are wrong, sometimes not. I do know that many people cannot take honesty because it hurts. Disneyrsh has done nothing but be factual and honest--maybe a bit blunt and to the point. No one here said that their kids physical attributes made them a perfect parent. Yes, my kids are thin. If you read my other posts you will see that I also buy ice cream, Hostess products, chips, and soda. In fact, my son is upstairs eating a plate of nachos right now for lunch. Am I happy about what my kids eat? Not really. Do I consider their body types a result of my "perfect parenting?" Heck no. Do I feel like I feed my kids better than some parents? Yes, I know I do. I do not bring Bundt cakes to Tae Kwon Do, I do not walk around with "snacks-on-the-ready", I do not feed Count Chocula for breakfast, I do not consider Tater Tot Casserole a healthy well-balanced meal. For goodness sake, all you have to do is go to one of those "whatcha making for dinner tonight threads" on this board to see where the problems lie with weight gain. It actually appalls me sometimes to read them. You can go through a 4-page thread on that subject and find maybe 5 people who are eating anything healthy and well-balanced. But to read this thread you'd think everyone was eating a well-balanced diet, yet gaining weight.

Looks like not everyone agrees with you, huh?

If you don't want people stirring the pot here, then I suggest you chide people who bash other people's percieved lack of parenting skills. Nothing starts a fight faster than that.

A better example of an us/them mentality would be --we're good parents; they're bad ones.

 

[Christine]

Looks like not everyone agrees with you, huh?

If you don't want people stirring the pot here, then I suggest you chide people who bash other people's percieved lack of parenting skills. Nothing starts a fight faster than that.

A better example of an us/them mentality would be --we're good parents; they're bad ones.

I don't care if people agree with me or not. I never expect that. I guess I'm not "seeing" perceived lack of parenting skills being brought up by the OP. The only thing I can figure is that because she stated that "why do parents let their kids drink all this soda" as a bash on parenting skills--well, I just didn't take it that way. I let my kids drink soda. At home, at the mall, wherever. Doesn't bother me if she asks the question, I comfortable with my choices. I guess I don't see the need to get defensive about it.

 

[Christine]

So, now you are saying that the comments made by the OP and Disneyrsh WERE judgemental? I think it's interesting that you are saying that their comments were "honest." Just being "honest" is not a license to be rude.

You can be honest, with tact.

Must just be a difference in senstivities. All I can chalk it up to. I didn't find either poster to be rude. Just blunt. And yeah, we all make judgements whether we think we do or not. That doesn't mean we are walking around and judging people all the time.

 

[The Dark Dancer]

Sarah, I just wanted to say this is a wonderful post. And so true!

Thank you very much!

Trust me, honey, adults can be every bit as shallow and immature as the next guy. But we're not all like that. You just have to learn to ignore their ignorance and rest easy knowing you have the higher moral ground.

Thank you!

And Thank you~

 

[chobie]

I don't care if people agree with me or not. I never expect that. I guess I'm not "seeing" perceived lack of parenting skills being brought up by the OP. The only thing I can figure is that because she stated that "why do parents let their kids drink all this soda" as a bash on parenting skills--well, I just didn't take it that way. I let my kids drink soda. At home, at the mall, wherever. Doesn't bother me if she asks the question, I comfortable with my choices. I guess I don't see the need to get defensive about it.

If your'e so secure about your parenting choices then why are you bothered that the majority of people did see at as bashing other parents for not making the same choices as the OP? Why are you even on a thread like this if you don't care about other people's choices?

 

[justhat]

I haven't read the entire thread and probably shouldn't jump in now, but I just wanted to say I don't think the OP was bashing anyone's parenting skills. I think she thought more of "it's terrible that so many people, especially kids, are overweight that it is necessary to have a plus size line of clothing." Not "Plus size kids shouldn't wear anything but old lady clothing," more of a concern that so many people are overweight in today's society.

 

[kristen821]

i just looked at the original post and it was editted a bit

 

[chobie]

Usually anything titled a vent, that then gets into a "some parents" tirade is is asking for trouble.

Childhood obesity is a problem, no one disagrees with that. But lashing out at parents whom you don't know is not helpful to anyone or anything.