Would you tell your 6th grader the truth about Santa?

[KelNottAt]

I think kids are smarter than we sometimes give them credit for. IMO they're capable of figuring out the Santa truth without being told. And, by middle school, they're capable of knowing what to say (or not say) at school in a tease-tempting situation.

 

[Bob Slydell]

My 11-year old 6th grader still *believes* or so he says. Now, I think deep down inside he knows but he chooses to keep up the act. Who am I to ruin for him? There is so little "magic" in things as you get older, that I'll just let him keep it up. He doesn't seemed to get teased and is quite popular in school. Little did I know that he had a developmental problem...

But does he "keep up the act" around his friends at school (e.g. going around talking about what Santa's bringing him, etc.).

 

[jenredwolf]

Just wanted to chime in and say that I have celebrated the 29th birthday at least twice, and I still haven't admitted to my parents that I think Santa is anything but real!!!

I was a wierd kid though, everyone else wanted to get older and grow up and I always wanted to stay a kid...I am the one who did gifts from Santa when my family stopped and apparently I was successful because we all do gifts from Santa, the reindeer, the elves, etc. now and I am the youngest family member!

So, as a grown-up (ack!) dreamer with her head in the clouds, I think your daughter may already know and just not want tp spoil the magic by admitting it out loud.

End of my two cents...

 

[clarabelle]

I think I would tell her as well. Maybe you could have something for her to focus on if you think she will be hurt. Like buying Presents for a cause like toys for tots or helping you decorate -something like that.
I agree with the others that she may not really believe
Good luck

 

[Melissa M]

I was one of those kids that got picked on for believing at a late age. I was 11 and still defending Santa Claus to the other kids. I was so embarassed when my mom finally told me the truth. Please tell her.

 

[Disney1fan2002]

But does he "keep up the act" around his friends at school (e.g. going around talking about what Santa's bringing him, etc.).

That is what I was going to say. He may not get picked on at school, because he may know better than to bring the subject of Santa up around his friends.

There is a difference between a kid who knows, but hasn't admitted and a kid who truly believes. Hence the reason why Christine's DS does not get picked on.

 

[Mickey'snewestfan]

JMHO, but I think it is mean for parents to hold conditions on presents, ie, you only get fun presents if you believe in Santa, otherwise, it's appliances.

I have to assume that the original comment was made with a wink and a nod? To me if a parent said in a punitive way "No presents for you because you dared to question Santa" I'd be horrified, but if mom smiled broadly when a child announced there was no Santa and said in an obviously "fake" tone "Oh, no of course there's a Santa and flying reindeer" in a way that everyone knew was a joke or a game, I don't see the harm in it.

My 2nd grader asked me last night if there was an Easter bunny. I told him the truth He asked right in the middle of a conversation about the Tooth Fairy, and my best guess is he's wondering about EB, SC and TF, and picked the one that would be the least heartbreaking to hear about.

 

[Disney1fan2002]

I was one of those kids that got picked on for believing at a late age. I was 11 and still defending Santa Claus to the other kids. I was so embarassed when my mom finally told me the truth. Please tell her.

My nephew was 11 and he would come home so angry that other kids didn't believe in Santa. My sister told him, because she was afraid of how far he would go to defend the big guy. She didn't want him to get beat up.

 

[Disney1fan2002]

I have to assume that the original comment was made with a wink and a nod? To me if a parent said in a punitive way "No presents for you because you dared to question Santa" I'd be horrified, but if mom smiled broadly when a child announced there was no Santa and said in an obviously "fake" tone "Oh, no of course there's a Santa and flying reindeer" in a way that everyone knew was a joke or a game, I don't see the harm in it.

My 2nd grader asked me last night if there was an Easter bunny. I told him the truth He asked right in the middle of a conversation about the Tooth Fairy, and my best guess is he's wondering about EB, SC and TF, and picked the one that would be the least heartbreaking to hear about.

I found out about Santa the same time as the EB. I was sick and has slept all day. It was the night before Easter. Mom was up doing some last minute sewing. She made our stuffed bunnies. I was 11, and just chatting. Because I was awake, she told me what she was doing. She was the Easter Bunny. I took it well. I actually felt grown up. A coming of age type of thing. It occured to me that if there was no EB, then maybe Santa didn't exist either. So I asked about Santa...I am sure she was relieved that it all happened in one conversation.

 

[KristinBelle]

I wouldn't say anything, I'm sure she knows already.

 

[disykat]

Yes, I'd tell. I never insisted Santa was real. When my kids would ask I'd simply say "what do you think?" I clued my oldest in when he still was confused at about 9. I saw no need for him to remain in the dark.

IMO Santa is magic whether you understand the reality of who buys the presents or not. Even adults who are buying the presents can still "believe" in Santa - but they know the whole story.

 

[Ticket Man]

I knew by the time I was about 6, and kept up an act until I was 12. I didn't want to ruin it for my parents, but I felt awfully dumb and immature sitting around at 11 years old acting like Santa was real. I don't think I ever told my parents he was fake, they just realized that I had to have known he wasn't real.

I don't know that I knew a single person over the age of 8 that ever believed in Santa. Many charaded with their parents, but all of my friends figured it out on their own before or around 2nd grade.

 

[cheyita]

I was one of those kids that got picked on for believing at a late age. I was 11 and still defending Santa Claus to the other kids. I was so embarassed when my mom finally told me the truth. Please tell her.

I agree you should tell her. I made that decision a few months ago with my DD10 when I heard her strongly defending Santa's existence to her good friend. She needed to know the truth so as not to look like a fool to her friends. Girls in this age group are tough enough to deal with as it is.

 

[Tinker'n'Fun]

We told our kids last year DS10 and DD12 at the time. We also told them about the spirit of Christmas. The love that is there and the idea of giving and not receiving. We are a family of very little means. But I make sure that their gifts are there. I explained to them without the spirit of Christmas where would all the gifts come from... They understand that there is little money and that the spirit of people and Christmas exists... Its just not a man dressed in a red jacket flying through the sky....


And to be honest, I believe in the spirit! Every year no matter what my children are blessed with gifts that they need and a few that are luxury... It takes me all year... but I do it!!! Good Luck and may your family enjoy the "Spirit of Christmas" this year.

 

[cstraub]

I didn't stop believing until I was 23!! The moment I first really new for sure, without a doubt that there was no Santa was my first Christmas as a homeowner. I was on my own and had to put all the gifts out while my DS and DH were asleep. When I woke up the next morning and all the presents were just as I had placed them and there was nothing under the tree that I had not put there it hit me- Santa really was not real. I always knew that he was not real in my mind but not until that morning did I know with my heart.

When I ask if my DS15 is glad I "lied" to him about Santa he says yes! I feel the same way!

If your DD still believes I say let her! If she is just pretending to still believe let her do that too. What's the rush? Would you really compromise that feeling your DD still has about magic so your sister will be happy?

 

[Melissa M]

And if you choose to tell her, reading "Yes Virginia, there is a Santa Clause..." might help.

 

[transparant]

My DD believed until she was 12. And she just thanked me and my dh for NOT telling her a few days ago. She said she "kind of new...but wasn't sure" - but that she LOVED the magic of all of it and wasn't ready to let go of that.

I would not tell your DD. Chances are she isn't going around in school telling kids that Santa is real. She's probably quiet about it - knowing that the other kids don't believe. I'd just wait a little longer IMO.

 

[transparant]

I didn't stop believing until I was 23!! The moment I first really new for sure, without a doubt that there was no Santa was my first Christmas as a homeowner. I was on my own and had to put all the gifts out while my DS and DH were asleep. When I woke up the next morning and all the presents were just as I had placed them and there was nothing under the tree that I had not put there it hit me- Santa really was not real. I always knew that he was not real in my mind but not until that morning did I know with my heart.

When I ask if my DS15 is glad I "lied" to him about Santa he says yes! I feel the same way!

If your DD still believes I say let her! If she is just pretending to still believe let her do that too. What's the rush? Would you really compromise that feeling your DD still has about magic so your sister will be happy?

 

[va32h]

Yes, I would tell her.

My oldest daughter is 10. She knows about Santa, and the Easter Bunny, and the Tooth Fairy. I presented it to her as a rite of passage.

I told her that there was a Santa, but that he died many years ago, and parents pass on the spirit of giving by playing Santa for their kids. And one of the most fun things about growing up and becoming a mom was getting to play Santa.

This year she will get to stay up with me and help stuff the stockings, but she has already said that she wants me to wait until she goes to bed to get out her presents because surprises are still fun.

I just don't think it has to be either/or. You can "know" about Santa and have Christmas spirit. And still believe in magic. Every year there is at least one gift under the tree that my kids really wanted, but never actually told me they wanted. Maybe they mentioned it five months ago, or maybe I just saw that look in their eye when we saw it in the store. Moms have magic, too.

My niece is 11, and I am not sure if she still believes. As of last year, she did, and my brother was stressing out about how much she would hate him for lying to her...I just think that's the wrong attitude to have.

 

[OkieDisney]

I knew there would be great input from both sides.

DD is a young 6th grader and has minor ADHD (the inattentive dreamy kind) so I could believe either way. She believes or is just pretending to.

I will keep you posted.