Would you tell your 6th grader the truth about Santa?

[OkieDisney]

DD (11 years old) still believes.....

My 45 year old sister who is single and childless yet knows everything about child rearing says this is ridiculous.

DH is also worried that she will get made fun of at middle school.....


What do you think? She has always been a bit of a dreamer and had her head in the clouds. Seems sad to have to tell her the reality.....

Thanks for your help.

 

[noodleknitter]

It is not developmentally normal to still believe in Santa by that age. So, yes I would tell her. Chances are she already knows, and pretends because she (and you) enjoy it.

 

[Steffi]

If she hasn't asked yet, I wouldn't tell her. Why take that away from her if you don't have to?

I'll say this, though: I stopped believing in Santa very early on, but kept up the ruse anyway, because I was sure I'd start getting appliances or something for presents (like my older siblings) if I told them I didn't believe in Santa anymore.

That may not be the case with your DD, but, still, believing in Santa's nothing to stress about! She'll figure it all out soon enough, and until then, just enjoy it!

 

[SC Minnie]

It is not developmentally normal to still believe in Santa by that age. So, yes I would tell her. Chances are she already knows, and pretends because she (and you) enjoy it.

I agree. We have never told DD the truth but I know she no longer 'believes'. If your DD truly believes then I would tell her. It can be awfully embarrassing if she talks about Santa to other kids.

 

[Bob Slydell]

Chances are she already knows, and pretends because she (and you) enjoy it.

I'd guess this is the case.

 

[CheshireVal]

I agree with others that she may not really believe but is putting on an act for your sake.

However, I'd tell her just in case. Middle school can be pretty cruel.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

On my old court, 2 families also had the same issue. Both of them did tell their dd's.

Being naive in Middle School is not the best plan socially. I suppose you need to decide how you want her to find out.

My kids stopped believing around 3rd grade.

 

[*Fantasia*]

I told my son (10) that if he thinks Santa is not real then they will not be getting any surprise present from Santa either. I also told him not to worry about what his friends think. If he believes, his wish (from the list) may just come true.

Every year.. they write a letter to Santa and the kids get one thing from their list.

My son asked how come the adults don't write or ask Santa anything for Xmas. I just told him that Santa's shop only makes toys for the children. And I told him that Santa loves good children.

 

[Hedy]

I agree with others that she may not really believe but is putting on an act for your sake.

However, I'd tell her just in case. Middle school can be pretty cruel.

Agreed.

 

[DVC-Don]

My two kids figured out on their own (maybe with classmates help) in the 3rd grade.

 

[dmslush]

Yes, if she is 11 and is in middle school, chances are she already knows. DD and I have never actually had the talk. But, at 15, she still plays along with us!

 

[Disney1fan2002]

I agree, 11 is the absolute cut off date. My ds is 10 and in 5th grade, I am tempted to clue him in this year, but I think I will wait to see if he still believes next year. Next year, age 11, 6th grade...the jig is up. If only for his own safety at school. I would hate for the kids to target him for believing at that age.

I am nervous this year. We have tickets to the Polar Express train ride in NH. The kids are over the moon. I am so scared that he is going to go to school the next day and just gush about his ride to the "North Pole".

 

[Maleficent13]

JMHO, but I think it is mean for parents to hold conditions on presents, ie, you only get fun presents if you believe in Santa, otherwise, it's appliances.

Having said that, yes, middle schoolers need to know the truth. Naivete is not a social plus, and I don't know anyone who wants to make middle school any harder than it actually is.

 

[maddiel]

Does she believe or does she choose to believe? My DD13 chooses to believe. If she hadn't made a joke about it a year or so ago, I'd never have known for sure because she acts like she believes.

Is she the oldest or youngest or an only child? That might factor in too.



M.

 

[Bob Slydell]

JMHO, but I think it is mean for parents to hold conditions on presents, ie, you only get fun presents if you believe in Santa, otherwise, it's appliances.

ITA

 

[The Mystery Machine]

Just wanted to add my 15yodd "believes" and my 10yodd doesn't. Younger one thinks it is stupid... aaack....she is too logical. She started questioning Santa in Kindergarten!!! ..stinker ....Who is this kid?

 

[CheshireVal]

JMHO, but I think it is mean for parents to hold conditions on presents, ie, you only get fun presents if you believe in Santa, otherwise, it's appliances.

I agree!!!! That kind of takes the fun out of Christmas presents, huh?

 

[Christine]

My 11-year old 6th grader still *believes* or so he says. Now, I think deep down inside he knows but he chooses to keep up the act. Who am I to ruin for him? There is so little "magic" in things as you get older, that I'll just let him keep it up. He doesn't seemed to get teased and is quite popular in school. Little did I know that he had a developmental problem...

 

[noodleknitter]

JMHO, but I think it is mean for parents to hold conditions on presents, ie, you only get fun presents if you believe in Santa, otherwise, it's appliances.

Having said that, yes, middle schoolers need to know the truth. Naivete is not a social plus, and I don't know anyone who wants to make middle school any harder than it actually is.

I agree.

Learning what is real, and what isn't is a developmental stage. Denying the child trying to work this out is, IMHO, a diservice to him/her. Holding gifts as ransom for lying...not cool.

 

[Evil Genius]

6th grade? Yeah I'd talk to her. My guess is that she probably all ready knows, she just doesn't want to give up the loot!!