No in the eyes of the world she will be an adult and will be treated as such. Universities treat them as adults, it will only be in your eyes that she is still a kid.
Okay, consider this:
Next summer my daughter turns 18.
She and I go to a car dealership. Which one of us can buy a car without a co-signer?
We each go on a vacation. Which one of us will have trouble reserving a hotel room? Which one of us can rent a car?
We each need to go to the hospital for a procedure. Who's the responsible party? The insurance holder?
We each go to the liquor store. Which one of us can buy a pint of rum?
We each decide that we want to rent an apartment. Which one of us will need a co-signer?
We each need to pay our car insurance. Which one of us is paying considerably less because of years of good driving experience?
Still want to argue that the world sees her fully and completely as an adult?
Yes,
legally she's an adult when she turns 18, and some of her adult privledges (i.e., voting, joining the military, ability to make medical decisions on her own, right to enter into legal contracts) are hers on her birthday . . . but in many, many other instances
it just doesn't matter. The world will consider her a full adult only once she's accumulated experience, credit, and years of age. The reality is that people in our society don't attain the age of majority in one day; rather, it's a process that they go through from 18 to 21, 22, or even older, depending upon the individual and his or her educational choices.
Universities are set up for 18-22 year olds, and they do treat young people in a
more adult-like manner than the general world. but they aren't totally "adult" either. They offer Open Houses and Parents' Orientations. The loan companies require parents to co-sign for loans. Most universities assume that their customers are traditional students, students who are still dependant upon their parents.
I don't see it as an insult WHEN you are a kid, but when you are an adult it is an insult to be treated as a kid. And you are right it is a stage of life, A stage of life she will have grown out of when she leaves for school. I think you are the one who doesn't give her credit, the rest of us seem to give her more than you do.
I give her tons of credit for all she's done! She's an honors student, a good citizen, and a wonderful person -- she's accomplished much more than the average 17 year old, but at the same time I also know that she's not fully an adult yet. It's not an insult in the least.
I think it is hard for you to believe that many many of us have good relationships with our kids, and kids who love to be with us AND have given them their freedom to grow as independent adults without expecting them to stay tied to us with monthly visits. We aren't afraid they won't come back if we give them space.
In your own mind, you're creating insecurities that I genuinely don't have. You really don't have a clue about me or my kid.