would you let your 16 year old spend the night at the boy/girl friends house?

[Mkrop]

my dh dose not want my dd ever to go my friends house because he feels that she cant be trusted and might let our dd get into @#$!@.. so I have to make up excueses all the tim to why the girls can not hang out ( any way my dd really dose not want to hang out with her dd ) so i have to bite my tounge all the time and we have felt this way sense we new she was letting boys spend the night at 14 ( and letting them sleep over)
did I mention my friend buys her daughter sexual p.js and still thinks her dd is a virgin???? alll righty then ok just wanted to vent i have never really said anything to her

My GF's mom did this all the time when we were growing up, she bought her this purple pushup corset thing with the thigh highs for under her prom dress

Well guess who wound up pregnant at 19

Yet I was the bad influence bc her DD once drank vodka and OJ at my house while my parents were out.

I was just laughing about this with my mom today bc we are now 38 and Mrs M just LOVES me now, she was having lunch with my mom and told her what a great friend I have been to her DD, so I guess I was forgiven


BTW the kids will figure out some place to have sex if they really want to no matter where they are.

 

[Camicar]

BTW the kids will figure out some place to have sex if they really want to no matter where they are.

Yup, but I'm not going to turn down the sheets and place a mint on their pillow either. If they want to have sex, they need to do the traditional thing and sneak around and find uncomfortable locations like the back seats of cars.

 

[Mkrop]

Yup, but I'm not going to turn down the sheets and place a mint on their pillow either. If they want to have sex, they need to do the traditional thing and sneak around and find uncomfortable locations like the back seats of cars.

Well yes and they will but I almost feel like I have more control of them not having sex while they are at my house BECAUSE I can keep an eye on things. Hey I would do the duct tape on the door thing if I had too. Or stay up all night.

 

[eliza61]

I was just wondering. Do you have a problem with your teenagers sleeping at the girl/ boyfriends house?

Mother to a 17 year old son. No sleep overs

 

[Jeafl]

I find all these answers so interesting! Where were all of you when I needed support back in May????

Pretty close to 90% of the parents in our high school allowed co-ed sleepovers after prom. I was THE ONLY mom who said no in my daughter's large group of friends. And I mean that sincerely. Even all the level headed parents that I associate with on a regular basis let their kids sleep over at their boyfriend/girlfriends' house that night.

Of course there were tears and incriminations that I RUINED my daughter's life, and that she would be the laughingstock of the school because she had to sleep in her own bed between the hours of 5 am-10 am. (between the post-prom party and the next-day party). The irony of it all was my daughter ended up being crowned prom queen, so her friends must have overlooked the fact that she was such a geek for having to sleep in her own bed .

 

[Cool-Beans]

No way in hell.

 

[mommiepoppins]

I find all these answers so interesting! Where were all of you when I needed support back in May????

Pretty close to 90% of the parents in our high school allowed co-ed sleepovers after prom. I was THE ONLY mom who said no in my daughter's large group of friends. And I mean that sincerely. Even all the level headed parents that I associate with on a regular basis let their kids sleep over at their boyfriend/girlfriends' house that night.

Of course there were tears and incriminations that I RUINED my daughter's life, and that she would be the laughingstock of the school because she had to sleep in her own bed between the hours of 5 am-10 am. (between the post-prom party and the next-day party). The irony of it all was my daughter ended up being crowned prom queen, so her friends must have overlooked the fact that she was such a geek for having to sleep in her own bed .

lol

 

[Teacher03]

Well, I now have my heavy duty flame suit on so here goes....I have done it in the past, DD and her BF have slept overnight here and at his parent's house. She is 18 now, but she was 16 or 17 the first time we allowed it. He slept on the floor in her room with the door open. I raised her to know right from wrong but I also know that if it is going to happen, the last place it would happen is in the room down the hall from her parents. Right now her friends are always kidding her because she is the ONLY one that has not had sex. She has also slept over night in her boyfriend's dorm room. She is adamant that she will not have sex until she is married and I believe her. She knows we trust her and she has not let us down.

I am not talking about your daughter, I'm sure you know her better than anyone, but don't kid yourself into thinking that kids won't have sex down the hall from their parents. I had friends who had sex in the next room while their parents watched TV in the other room. Personally, there is no way I would allow my daughters or son have a sleepover with their boyfriends or girlfriends. My two older are adults, but my youngest is a senior in high school, and I do trust her. But why on earth would I allow her to spend the night with her boyfriend? Can they not be apart for one night? I don't understand the reasoning behind it.

 

[FoundMyPrince]

Heck, no!

 

[chager]

When I was 17/18 years old my then BF (now DH) lived off and on with us. He slept in the basement and I slept in my bedroom. My parents room was literally straight across the hall and I think my mom slept with one eye open whenever he was there!!
This is not an issue for us yet, but having a DS that is 13, it could be soon. I guess we will cross that bridge when the time comes.

 

[yasmina]

My dh let his 17 yr. old son stay overnight w/ his 16 yo. girlfriend (they are now married and expecting our first grandchild) stay at her house while her mom was out of town. Her mom actually wanted him to stay to keep her safe.

I was opposed to it, but didn't have much say-so, since he isn't my son. I asked dh if he would allow one of our daughters' boyfriends to sleep over some day, and his answer was an emphatic NO! Which I agree with, but accused him of hypocrisy. Why is it ok for his son, but not for his daughters?

 

[livie1205]

can you say JAMIE LYNN?

 

[bettyann29]

My DD is 16 now and there would be NO sleepovers with her boyfriend

 

[poohandwendy]

I am not talking about your daughter, I'm sure you know her better than anyone, but don't kid yourself into thinking that kids won't have sex down the hall from their parents. I had friends who had sex in the next room while their parents watched TV in the other room. Personally, there is no way I would allow my daughters or son have a sleepover with their boyfriends or girlfriends. My two older are adults, but my youngest is a senior in high school, and I do trust her. But why on earth would I allow her to spend the night with her boyfriend? Can they not be apart for one night? I don't understand the reasoning behind it.

I totally agree.

I don't understand why they can't just have their date and call it a night, at a reasonable hour? And why put the parents in that kind of position? I know I wouldn't be able to sleep comfortably, my DH wouldn't sleep at all. (again, I am not talking about extenuating circumstances, like dangerous weather conditions where it is impossible to drive home)

 

[shortbun]

My son's girlfriend could sleepover as long as he's not here.

 

[kaw1218]

Yes. The only exception I would make would be a blizzard with 12 ft high snow drifts or flowing hot lava obstructing the route back home.

I would have jumped on here and just said no. But after reading this, it reminded me of when I was younger.

When DH and I were about 17, he was over and it started sleeting outside. We didn't realize it. When he went to leave about 2 hours later, the entire roads were covered in about 1/4 inch of ice. There was no way any vehicle was safely driving that road.

He stayed in our family room that night, I stayed in my bedroom. And my parents room was in between both.

We also stayed over friends homes after dances and proms, but the girls stayed in one room and the guys crashed in another. And it was well supervised by the parents. (my friends mom stayed in the room with us)

So I would have to say it all depends on the circumstances.

But as an everyday thing? No way.

 

[barkley]

Perspective from an 18yo in a commited relationship:

I've been with my boyfriend for quite a long time, and my mom has come to trust both of us, but never to the extent of sleepovers. UNTIL, he went away for university and I barely get to see him. So if I get a weekend off work, she'll let me go up and stay with him for the weekend (GASP! I know)
And she's let him sleepover here a couple times when he comes down to visit (not in the same bed mind you)

She never lets us have sleepovers when he's actually at home though

Anyways, he and I sleep together ALL THE TIME.
(AAAAHHH! BY "sleep together" i mean literally take naps together--because THAT'S how fun we are!)
We fall asleep all over the place in the day, so I guess my mom figures it's no different at night (and she is correct)

But I DO see why people wouldn't want to let their teens sleep @ their bf/gf's house. And at 16 my mom would never have let me I'm sure!




Just out of curiousity, what would you guys do in my mom's situation (with my boyfriend far far away @ university) would you let your teen go visit for the weekend?

since you are 18 and an adult-if you were my dd and wanted to go to visit your bf at university it would be your choice (this is to say i would not be the one funding any travel expenses). as far as the bf staying over when he visits-it does'nt make sense to me. if he is from your area and is periodically 'at home' (i'm guessing at his parents), i would'nt see the need. he could just as easily stay at his parents. if he does'nt care for that-he as an adult can choose to pay from his own funds to stay at a local motel, where you as an adult can choose to stay overnight with him (although i think that would be rather 'telling' as to weather the intent was to simply spend time with him or to share his bed-sexualy or not).

i figure at age 18 my children are adults-and they've had 18 years of exposure to MY belief system. i will respect their right to make their own decisions about their personal lives-but they have to understand it goes both ways-if i'm uncomfortable with or do not wish to allow them to have their boyfirends/girlfriends sleep over in my home-as an adult they must respect my decisions as well.

 

[Mouse House Mama]

If you are really ONLY sleeping then there is no reason to stay over. Go home and sleep. You have your own bed. It's not like you will even know anyone else is there if you are REALLY ONLY sleeping.

 

[Launchpad11B]

My son's girlfriend could sleepover as long as he's not here.

Hilarious!

 

[disneyjunkie]

Just out of curiousity, what would you guys do in my mom's situation (with my boyfriend far far away @ university) would you let your teen go visit for the weekend?

NOPE

Chances are the person away is dating other people. I believe the one at home should do the same.

I will not encourage my teen to be in a serious relationship. There's plenty of time for that later on in live.