Would you attend this wedding?

[The Mystery Machine]

It's a Saturday...

Yes but my kids are in school on that Friday. I don't know if I could pull that off or want to for that matter.

That means I would have to leave Fri night or Sat morning to get to her wedding. And if there is bad weather you are hosed.

It is a risky proposal to shell out that kind of cash for not a lot of "leeway" for complications of weather.

 

[Rora]

Yes but my kids are in school on that Friday. I don't know if I could pull that off.

Oh.. whoops!! I'm currently on Spring Break and my mind is elsewhere. You're right! Sorry!

This is true and I will definitely mention this to her.

For the record, the majority of out-of-towners have no kids. This of course does not wipe away ticket prices and other family plans!!

Again, I thank you all for the responses. Feel free to keep them coming. I will be forwarding the bride the link to this thread!

 

[Planogirl]

Actually, getting away from the stress and havoc of the holidays might be fun. I would go.

 

[tlbwriter]

Again, I thank you all for the responses. Feel free to keep them coming. I will be forwarding the bride the link to this thread!

Maybe she just needs to join the DIS!

 

[snapppyd]

Maybe some of you remember the girl who I posted about awhile ago with the Orange and Silver wedding colors... we now have a new dilemma!

She and her DFi are planning their wedding for 12/22/12. Everyone is fussing about how "no one will come to the wedding because it's so close to Christmas". There are quite a few people that would need to fly in from out of town.

Before I go any further, children are invited to the wedding so it's not like families would be split up just days before Christmas.

Her reasons for choosing this date are good ones: she'll have just graduated a few weeks before, the majority of her family are teachers (they'll be on winter break), and her friends will be able to attend too as they have winter break. In addition, their date is sentimental to them. If she chose pretty much any other date, there's no guarantee that anyone would come then either (see: teachers), plus, she will have a teaching job and planning a wedding during teaching is not fun business- been there, done that. Also, no summer weddings as many family and friends teach year round school. AND, Florida summer weddings are sticky, hot, and typically no fun.

So, would you attend a wedding just days before Christmas?

EDIT: the majority of people who are upset about the date are close family members (cousins and aunt).

I would attend, and I would give cash

 

[Imzadi]

That means I would have to leave Fri night or Sat morning to get to her wedding.

Most airfare, to get a cheaper rate, requires a Saturday stay over at the destination. Anyone planning to leave late Saturday nite to get to their own holiday destination are screwed over that extra pricing, in addition to the holiday pricing.

Hotels are always more expensive on the weekends.

Actually, getting away from the stress and havoc of the holidays might be fun. I would go.

I guess you never experienced the stress & havoc of traveling over the holidays? Lots of grumpy, impatient people to be flying with.

 

[cluvsdisney]

If I had to travel for a wedding on 12/22, I probably would not attend. There are about 3 people I would travel to see married that time of year and the chance of that being necessary are pretty slim, especially since 2 of them are under 2 years of age...LOL

 

[Nik's Mom]

If it was in my home town, I would attend. We usually travel back to our home town for the holidays anyway. If I had to travel to another town, then no. We usually have to travel for Christmas to see family and I absolutely hate going during that time. Airports are horrible during the holiday season. Plus, airfare is more expensive.

 

[Planogirl]

I guess you never experienced the stress & havoc of traveling over the holidays? Lots of grumpy, impatient people to be flying with.

I have but it's been a while. I don't know, dealing with grumpy strangers sounds more appealing than dealing with grumpy relatives.

 

[PrincessSuzanne]

I guess it depends on how close I was to that person. I know most of Dh's family was mad when we moved our wedding from April 2002 to Dec 2001. We got married on Dec 8, our church wouldn't allow weddings in Dec after that weekend.

I did it to be cost effective for us, as the church was already decorated, so we didn't have to do much. I don't believe that the people that didn't come in Dec were going to come in April either. It worked out, we got married when we wanted to and will celebrate or 10th Anniversary on 12/8/2011.

The couple should do what is best for them and if someone can't come, oh well.

A co-worker of mine is getting married the day before Easter and although the wedding is only about 1 1/2 hours drive, I don't know if we will go or not, depends on what else is going on.

Suzanne

 

[Imzadi]

I have but it's been a while. I don't know, dealing with grumpy strangers sounds more appealing than dealing with grumpy relatives.

When you put it that way!

 

[Pumbaa_]

Count me as a no. Besides the fast that my DH is working (baker), there is no way in god's green earth I am traveling over Christmas. One snow anywhere in the country can disrupt travel for days. This past winter was a great example of that!

Plus the added cost of holiday prices.

I would be home and baking

 

[horseshowmom]

I think they absolutely have the right to choose the date they want, but they do have to understand that there will probably be quite a few people who decide not to come due to the timeframe.

In may case, I would probably go. It's not uncommon for us to be in Florida during that time anyway. I like to go out of town for Christmas (although we generally get back on Christmas Eve so our daughter and her husband can be at his grandparents that night). I don't mind the hustle and bustle of airports (although I HATE shopping at Christmas ). Honestly, I would view it as a vacation with a wedding on the side!

ETA: I know that I am the oddball, but I would never expect somebody to fly in for a wedding regardless of the date. There are very few (probably none) that I would go to if I had to fly in and the wedding was the only reason. It's just too expensive. I would just send a nice gift and my congratulations. If it's somewhere that I can tie a vacation in (assuming it's not prohibitively priced), I would be more likely to attend if it requires flying.

 

[Rora]

I think they absolutely have the right to choose the date they want, but they do have to understand that there will probably be quite a few people who decide not to come due to the timeframe.

In may case, I would probably go. It's not uncommon for us to be in Florida during that time anyway. I like to go out of town for Christmas (although we generally get back on Christmas Eve so our daughter and her husband can be at his grandparents that night). I don't mind the hustle and bustle of airports (although I HATE shopping at Christmas ). Honestly, I would view it as a vacation with a wedding on the side!

That's how she and her parents are going to play it up to out of town guests!

We'll see what happens. She just called me and told me she's fine with people not coming but also doesn't want to be sitting their awkwardly with like, 20 people at her reception. They are inviting around 80 people and are hoping for 50-60. Cross your fingers for her!

 

[SC Minnie]

If it wasn't too far to drive, yes. We wouldn't drive if it was more than 500 mi away. It would also depend on how close we were to the people getting married. They would have to be family member or very, very close friend. We would probably make a week vacation out of it too.

 

[tlbwriter]

That's how she and her parents are going to play it up to out of town guests!

We'll see what happens. She just called me and told me she's fine with people not coming but also doesn't want to be sitting their awkwardly with like, 20 people at her reception. They are inviting around 80 people and are hoping for 50-60. Cross your fingers for her!

I think her hopes are up too high. People who are planning a destination wedding (and for her guests, that's what this is) often assume their guests will be happy to take a vacation that just happens to coincide with their wedding, but the truth is, most people have a limited amount of time and money for vacations, and would prefer to take them at the time and place of their own choosing. No one is going to come because it involves travel. Some will come despite the fact that it involves travel. Strike one. And she's having it at one of the busiest and most expensive times to travel. Strike two.

I'm sure there's a rule of thumb somewhere that says you should only expect X% of invitees to attend a destination wedding, and only Y% of invitees to attend a wedding very close to a major holiday. She needs to account for both of those factors. And the fact that family members are already saying "You want me to travel at Christmas?" instead of "Cool, Christmas in Florida!" is not a good sign.

Your friend needs to decide what is more important - getting married on that special day, or having a certain number of people attend. I do not believe she can have both.

 

[PrincessSuzanne]

That's how she and her parents are going to play it up to out of town guests!

We'll see what happens. She just called me and told me she's fine with people not coming but also doesn't want to be sitting their awkwardly with like, 20 people at her reception. They are inviting around 80 people and are hoping for 50-60. Cross your fingers for her!

We sent out over 100 invitations (mostly DH's large family), many of whom we knew weren't going to come, and had an open invitation in the church bulletin and I would say there were all in all, maybe 40 people that actually showed up. It was really nice, because that way we got to spend more time talking and mingling with everyone.

Many of the church elders told me later that they would have been there had the service not been at 6pm in Dec, because they don't drive after dark.

Suzanne

 

[disykat]

Since when do out of town guests always attend?

I got married on the 22nd of December and I don't regret it one bit!

We checked to see if it worked for our parents and siblings, (most of whom had to drive 4 - 10 hours) then booked the church. We actually had a lot more people come than we thought would. Then we had a snowstorm and quite a few of our local friends/ church family had to postphone travel plans, so they came despite having planned not to. I still am amazed, knowing people often prefer to stay home in the snow, that the church was packed. I think it became sort of an adventure.

I'm in the "it's the bride and groom that matter" group. I can't imagine having postphoned my wedding until summer (over six months!) just in case a few more people could make it.

There could be multiple reasons on ANY date that people can't make a wedding. One of my best friends got married on Christmas Day and I missed it. No hard feelings. Another one got married in June but I couldn't afford the plane ticket so I missed it. Honestly - no big deal. It wasn't about me.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

Since when do out of town guests always attend?

I got married on the 22nd of December and I don't regret it one bit!

We checked to see if it worked for our parents and siblings, (most of whom had to drive 4 - 10 hours) then booked the church. We actually had a lot more people come than we thought would. Then we had a snowstorm and quite a few of our local friends had to postphone travel plans, so they came despite having planned not to.

I'm in the "it's the bride and groom that matter" group. I can't imagine having postphoned my wedding until summer (over six months!) just in case a few more people could make it.

There could be multiple reasons on ANY date that people can't make a wedding. One of my best friends got married on Christmas Day and I missed it. No hard feelings. Another one got married in June but I couldn't afford the plane ticket so I missed it. Honestly - no big deal. It wasn't about me.

And that is fine. However some people do not think like that.

They get worked up if people do not show despite the fact there are obvious issues with the date that is chosen.

You can pick any date you want, however don't complain when your wedding and reception does not have the amount of people that you wanted.

 

[okeydokey]

If I had to travel, probably not. air travel that time of year is a huge crowded hassel and quite expensive.

If it was local and i was close to the couple, absolutely.