Would you attend this wedding?

[daughtersrus]

If it was local, I would attend. If I had to fly, probably not. Trying to get back home in time for Christmas could be very difficult is there were any weather related delays.

 

[kwitcherkicken99]

DH and I got married Dec. 21, but we didn't have a wedding.

If the wedding in question was for an immediate or close family member, yes. Otherwise, we would send a gift.

I couldn't imagine holding a wedding on that date, just because people would be off from school. If most of the family members are teachers, I'd wait until summer vacation...

 

[Shyvioletisme]

If I was close enough to drive within a reasonable amount of time, then yes. If I had to fly (even if it was a close friend or family member), then no. I'm just not willing to spend the money it costs to fly these days. It has nothing to do with being that close to Christmas for me. That's just my stock answer for any wedding any time of year.

 

[Tink888]

In town? Absolutely. More than three hours away. No.

Christmas Eve is a big deal for us and would cut to close for me. Flights would probably be more expensive that close to the holiday. More travelers (which with my luck means I'll catch the flu just in time for Christmas). More likely to get caught in bad weather if driving.

I wouldn't be upset that they chose that date. It's their wedding, they should have it when they want. At the same time, I'd hope they'd understand my choice in not choosing to attend.

 

[jen0610]

If it was in town, I don't care. I got married at the courthouse on 12-21-90.

Anyway, not one will be there because the world will have ended anyway.

You are too funny!!

Rora - We got married on 12/21/91. Got married here in IN. We had people come in from CA, CO, TX, NE, MI, and OK - many were just family friends, not family. Those that wanted to be here and were able to travel made it. And those that couldn't travel, sent us warm wishes. All was good.

Back to TMM - DH has for several years now given me a rash of crap joking around, that our marriage is going to bring the end of the world. He says the numbers are stacked against us. 12-21-12 is our 21th wedding anniversary. He said that is too many combinations of 1 and 2.

 

[Pixiedust34]

Maybe. It depends upon how close we are to the family and travel costs. If it were a local wedding, we'd be more likely to attend.

I imagine airfare is pretty high the few days before and after Christmas. Transportation costs may price some guests out of attending.

 

[bunkkinsmom]

I absolutely would. We are in the "wedding business" and we did a wedding last year on Dec. 18th. It was beautiful! She had guests from as far away as Miami.

I think that it's their wedding, and if they want to schedule that date because it works for them then good for them! My situation was not quite as severe, but we got married on a Sunday night. I was in the restaurant business and my DH was a musician, so that was a day that would be no problem for most of our friends to be there. We had family from across the country come.

 

[Rora]

You are too funny!!

Rora - We got married on 12/21/91. Got married here in IN. We had people come in from CA, CO, TX, NE, MI, and OK - many were just family friends, not family. Those that wanted to be here and were able to travel made it. And those that couldn't travel, sent us warm wishes. All was good.

Back to TMM - DH has for several years now given me a rash of crap joking around, that our marriage is going to bring the end of the world. He says the numbers are stacked against us. 12-21-12 is our 21th wedding anniversary. He said that is too many combinations of 1 and 2.

Thank you for the first hand experience!!

And yes, you probably are to blame for the end of the world!

 

[golfgal]

It depends---if my kids were still little, I probably would not attend because it was so close to Christmas--yes, I know they are invited but when the kids were little we always had Christmas concerts and other things leading up to Christmas that they would miss if we went. With our kids being teenagers, if they were getting married somewhere fun, like Florida, we would probably plan a vacation around that wedding-maybe a cruise or something after the wedding.

From a practical standpoint, we wouldn't attend because our kids would still be in school on the 22nd. With Christmas falling on a weekend, many schools around here have school up to Friday and they would have to miss 2 days of school-and many tests (high school).

If they HAVE to have a winter wedding, I would plan it for the next weekend. That gives families time before the wedding to do whatever and they can then travel on Saturday or Sunday after the wedding to get home.

Also, being that the wedding is in 2012-they may NOT have the days leading up to the wedding off. Does she really want to work all day before her rehearsal dinner, etc.?? Is her school calendar out yet?

As for the date being sentimental, yes, it is, but honestly, who really remembers that stuff 10-15 years later?? Her wedding date will become much more meaningful down the road.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

In town? Absolutely. More than three hours away. No.

Christmas Eve is a big deal for us and would cut to close for me. Flights would probably be more expensive that close to the holiday. More travelers (which with my luck means I'll catch the flu just in time for Christmas). More likely to get caught in bad weather if driving.

I wouldn't be upset that they chose that date. It's their wedding, they should have it when they want. At the same time, I'd hope they'd understand my choice in not choosing to attend.

I think this about sums it up.

OP, your friend has to understand that most likely people that are out of town will probably not attend. Between bad weather, illness, cost, and Christmas it will end up being mostly attended by locals.

However there is no guarantee that they would attend with a summer date either.

Now the fact that it is Christmas, does not make me bat an eye. I would be happy to get out of that and go on a vacation.

 

[Agri]

As others have said, I wouldn't if I had to travel. Airfare that time of year is very expensive and in these economic times would be a lot to ask. I would hope that in setting that date she would accept the fact that three days before a major holiday is not exactly great timing. If she wants more people to be there, then she'll have to change the date. Otherwise, just accept that not everyone is going to be happy or able to attend any date she sets and move on.

Families related to them might not be split up, but what about those families in-laws? We always spent Christmas at my house and my maternal grandparents came over and we unwrapped presents. If it was a wedding on my dad's side of the family, what I knew as 'our family' for Christmas WOULD be split up.

I'd think she'd have better luck setting a date where a few people had to take off from work rather than hoping people to be away from home 3 days before Christmas.

 

[golfgal]

I think this about sums it up.

OP, your friend has to understand that most likely people that are out of town will probably not attend. Between bad weather, illness, cost, and Christmas it will end up being mostly attended by locals.

However there is no guarantee that they would attend with a summer date either.

Now the fact that it is Christmas, does not make me bat an eye. I would be happy to get out of that and go on a vacation.

This would be another issue for me. If we were going out of town specifically for the wedding (flying from what it sounds like for the OP) and fights were delayed even a day, you miss the wedding and you just spent all that money on airline tickets for nothing. It's just too risky with no leeway for travel issues that may happen, which is why the following weekend would be MUCH more practical.

 

[MichelleVW]

I would go, I don't see a problem with the date. I got married on July 31 and there were people that couldn't attend on that date, there's always going to be conflicts.

 

[palmtreegirl]

I'd attend.

 

[luvmy3]

Yes, I'd go, its close to Christmas, it isn't on Christmas. Besides, to me, spending time with family and friends is the best part of the holiday season.

 

[bgirldeb]

Close relative or friend yes.

 

[NMAmy]

When I married my ex, we got married on 12/21. He was in the military and, at the time, it was difficult for him to get leave at any other time. His leave had been changed several times and was finally set for three weeks in Christmas and that was the day the church had an opening.

Our only complaint came from the best man's girlfriend who insisted that I needed to change the date because that was her 21st birthday and the best man had told her he preferred to come to the wedding.

Everyone else in the family understood the circumstances and came to the wedding. The best part was that the church was already decorated for Christmas so we really didn't have to do a thing.

 

[marmalade]

If it was in town, I don't care. I got married at the courthouse on 12-21-90.

Anyway, not one will be there because the world will have ended anyway.

That's the first thing I thought too!

I would attend the wedding as long as I lived within driving range. Plus it wouldn't be a wedding if someone in the family didn't complain about what the bride/groom are doing.

 

[golfgal]

I think a lot of people have missed that the majority of the guests would have to FLY to this wedding. If it was within easy driving distance, yes we would go, but the FLIGHTS are a huge issue around here at Christmas time with cost and weather--and that our kids would still be in school.

 

[bellarella]

I'm not sure what good asking here will do. It doesn't matter what people in general think, but what the invitees think.

It's not clear whether the close family members that are objecting are doing so on their own behalf, or out of fear that others won't attend. If it's the latter, the bride and groom should float the date with the people they are most concerned wouldn't be able to attend. If it is the former, then the bride and groom need to decide which is more important: their date or that these family members will be able to attend. (I don't think there is a right or wrong answer here. Similarly, these family members are going to have to decide which is more important to them, the inconvenience of the date or being at the wedding.)

As for kids being invited -- I don't think that really helps the situation. For many families, especially with young children, Christmas traditions are heavily centered around the home. Traveling at that time of year is generally pretty miserable with high crowd levels, weather delays, and more expensive tickets. The logistics of traveling at that time would very likely cause me not to attend, or to attend on my own, without my family.