Would you attend this wedding?

[Becky2005]

You know what....no matter WHAT date you choose, people will have a problem with it.

It doesn't matter. It's just like anything in life, you pick the best you can with hoping the majority of the people can show up but good golly, if you actually try to plan something around everyone's schedule, nothing will get planned.

I got married in May, didn't even think it was the Saturday before Mother's day (and just so happened my colors were rainbow & pink & blue happened to be the main colors! I'm betting everyone thinks we did that on purpose but we didn't).

She has completely logical reasons for picking that date and making it work.

Heck, my niece got married on a WEDNESDAY last year because that was the only way we could make it work since we were all traveling to her and both my daughter and my niece (her other girl cousin) were the attendants and we are all in IL and they live in CT...I'm sure there were a lot of grumbling on that but the bride didn't mind and due to the situation it's how it had to be. She was actually happy because she wanted a June wedding and if we did it any other way it would have been a July wedding.

 

[Rora]

I think a lot of people have missed that the majority of the guests would have to FLY to this wedding. If it was within easy driving distance, yes we would go, but the FLIGHTS are a huge issue around here at Christmas time with cost and weather--and that our kids would still be in school.

This is true about flying. That's what she's most concerned about- out of town guests who have to fly in. It's not so much the cost that we are concerned about (except for some guests) but the hassle and weather conditions. Although, there is no snow here in FL!

For the record, kids are out of school down here by then and the majority of people invited don't have children, but you make an excellent point about kids still being in school.

I'm not sure what good asking here will do. It doesn't matter what people in general think, but what the invitees think.

It's not clear whether the close family members that are objecting are doing so on their own behalf, or out of fear that others won't attend. If it's the latter, the bride and groom should float the date with the people they are most concerned wouldn't be able to attend. If it is the former, then the bride and groom need to decide which is more important: their date or that these family members will be able to attend. (I don't think there is a right or wrong answer here. Similarly, these family members are going to have to decide which is more important to them, the inconvenience of the date or being at the wedding.)

As for kids being invited -- I don't think that really helps the situation. For many families, especially with young children, Christmas traditions are heavily centered around the home. Traveling at that time of year is generally pretty miserable with high crowd levels, weather delays, and more expensive tickets. The logistics of traveling at that time would very likely cause me not to attend, or to attend on my own, without my family.

Just looking for some general consensus and to gauge what the average person would do. But yes, all that matters is the invitees.

There is an objection that the date is so close to Christmas from family members but they still will attend regardless. They're just complaining.

 

[snykymom]

I'm not sure what good asking here will do. It doesn't matter what people in general think, but what the invitees think.

No, to me, it doesn't matter what the invitees think. There will always be people who don't like/can't make a particular date. What matters is what the bride and groom (and their parents, usually) think.

I'm generally appalled at "bridezillas" who think that they can do anything they want because it's THEIR DAY, but this is not the same thing. Setting a wedding date for one that is of sentimental significance to the bride & groom is perfectly appropriate. If people can't or don't want to go, that's their prerogative.

I won't answer whether I would go because we're Jewish so Christmas has little effect except for crowds/weather for flights. But I do have two stories:
First, I'm a December baby, which really is annoying since my birthday always gets forgotten in the holiday hoopla (even among Jewish families). When I was little, I always got the "combination gift" for my birthday and Chanukah and was told "Oh, it's a bigger present." It never was. The bride & groom may find the same thing happening to their anniversary. If they don't care, no one else should.

Second, we got married on a Tuesday in August (couldn't get a kosher catering hall for a Sunday, Jews can't marry on Saturday). According to Jewish tradition, Tuesday is the 3rd day of Creation and is lucky because, according to Genesis, God said "It was good" twice on the 3rd day. The extra added bonus? We were able to invite everybody, down to second cousins twice removed, no one was insulted not to be invited, and we still had a reasonably sized wedding we could afford!

Good luck to the bride & groom, and tell them that no matter what they decide, someone's going to be mad, so they should do it their way.

 

[luvmy3]

I think a lot of people have missed that the majority of the guests would have to FLY to this wedding. If it was within easy driving distance, yes we would go, but the FLIGHTS are a huge issue around here at Christmas time with cost and weather--and that our kids would still be in school.

I'd still go. I'm not sure people are missing that they would have to fly, the OP asked if *we* would go, so there will be people here that would regardless of the flight. That doesn't mean we don't think there will be guests who don't go because of it though.

 

[FireDancer]

A friend of mine got married on December 27th and I went. I don't recall a lot of people declining to come because it was within 2 days of Christmas either. I was living in FL at the time and the wedding was back in Ohio.

It would depend of course on who the person was and what my holiday plans were but most years a wedding right around Christmas wouldn't be a deal breaker on it's own. If it were my wedding I can only think of 2 people that would be coming from more than an hour away (on my side at least) so it wouldn't be an issue either.

 

[Bren's Mom]

There is a good chance that anyone coming from out of town might decline the invite, the bride needs to be prepared for that. You're talking about the weekend before Christmas; there might be local parties, work parties, last minute shopping, baking, house cleaning, etc. that needs to be done before a major holiday. Going out of town for a wedding will take a bare minimum of two days including travel. And is a major expense.

So long as she's prepared for the fact that some people might not be willing or able to attend, she should go for it.

If it was local for me, I wouldn't have a problem with it. Assuming I could get a sitter, which could be an issue as that's a busy time for people going out on Saturday nights.

 

[Imzadi]

Flight prices alone for that time are crazy!

Other than Thanksgiving, that has to be the busiest travel weekend of the year. Plus the most expensive for airfare AND hotels. While travel expenses might not be a consideration for you, it will be to the guests who have to travel in.

Plus, if many of the guests are teachers, off from school, wouldn't they have made plans to travel to their relatives? So you are asking them to travel on the 23nd or 24th back home -which are even more expensive dates to travel, and not as many slots, as last minute travelers are also booking flights home.

I wouldn't do it, if I had to fly.

Anyway, not one will be there because the world will have ended anyway.

Oops!

Exactly. There's no real good time in December.

Also, their date has sentimental meaning for them. It was the first time they told each other they loved each other. I think it's pretty cute that the day works out to be on a Saturday, etc. They love the idea that they would be getting married on that anniversary. That's the reason they're so tied to the date.

If it is that important to be married on that date, maybe they can do a small, private ceremony at the Justice of the Peace, and then have the big, public wedding later. I assume they said they loved each other first time in private, so they can do their vows that way too.

 

[Rora]

I'm glad to hear the opinions! Keep them coming.

 

[Tinkermommy]

I have gone to a wedding just before Christmas. We had to fly and stay at the hotel where the wedding was. It was great. We got to see a lot of family we wouldn't have at the holiday time.

Whenever you get invited somewhere you always have to decide if you can swing the cost, time, etc.

 

[ilovemk76]

I would attend.

 

[shortbun]

This is March, they have plenty of time to plan their other family holiday activity around this date. They should keep quiet and do what works for them.

 

[Rora]

OP HERE:

The couple does plan on sending out their dates a year in advance to give people ample amount of time to plan.

She is aware that this does not take care of the possible weather conditions but she does hope this means they can make plans, secure more resonably priced airfare and hopefully a resonably priced hotel since they would have a lot of notice and can start looking.

 

[Imzadi]

OP HERE:

The couple does plan on sending out their dates a year in advance to give people ample amount of time to plan.

She is aware that this does not take care of the possible weather conditions but she does hope this means they can make plans, secure more resonably priced airfare and hopefully a resonably priced hotel since they would have a lot of notice and can start looking.

I don't think it matters when they book, those dates before Xmas are always going to be jacked up in price for airfare & hotel, because they are the few days before Xmas.


Just something to think about. In this economy, $200+ extra is a lot of money. Plus you are talking about two overpriced plane tickets, in addition to where they would be traveling to for the holidays anyway, which is is also at the higher Christmas travel rate.

 

[tlbwriter]

I don't think it matters when they book, those dates before Xmas are always going to be jacked up in price everywhere, because they are the few days before Xmas.

This. Even if they warn people five years in advance, flights and hotels that close to Christmas will always be more expensive.

 

[golfgal]

This is March, they have plenty of time to plan their other family holiday activity around this date. They should keep quiet and do what works for them.

But not everyone has a say in all of their holiday plans. Like I posted earlier, our kids' Christmas concert would have been on that weekend, extended families on the OTHER side of the family may have plans, etc.

The bride just needs to be realistic that probably half the people she invites won't come, if more do, great, but just don't EXPECT anyone to come.

 

[jrmasm]

OP HERE:

The couple does plan on sending out their dates a year in advance to give people ample amount of time to plan.

She is aware that this does not take care of the possible weather conditions but she does hope this means they can make plans, secure more resonably priced airfare and hopefully a resonably priced hotel since they would have a lot of notice and can start looking.

Even with advanced notice, people may still choose not to attend because of the date.

The bride and groom should pick what will make them happy and understand that their choice may not work for everyone.

 

[golfgal]

I don't think it matters when they book, those dates before Xmas are always going to be jacked up in price for airfare & hotel, because they are the few days before Xmas.


Just something to think about. In this economy, $200+ extra is a lot of money. Plus you are talking about two overpriced plane tickets, in addition to where they would be traveling to for the holidays anyway, which is is also at the higher Christmas travel rate.

Or more if they have kids--in our house it would be FIVE overpriced tickets. It would probably cost us about $2000 to fly out for a weekend wedding pretty much anywhere in the country.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

You know what? My kids are in school on the Dec 22 2012. Our "winter break" in 2012 is Monday, December 24 through Wednesday, January 2.

I think she may have a problem here. I will not pull my kids from school.

I think she is hosed with that date for teachers and out of towners.

 

[Rora]

You know what? My kids are in school on the Dec 22 2012.

I think she may have a problem here. I will not pull my kids from school.

I think she is hosed with that date for teachers and out of towners.

It's a Saturday...

 

[Imzadi]

Or more if they have kids--in our house it would be FIVE overpriced tickets. It would probably cost us about $2000 to fly out for a weekend wedding pretty much anywhere in the country.

I meant two overpriced tickets - one each way. (Or one overpriced round trip.) I hadn't thought about if extra family members go too, at the overpriced rate. Ouch!

I agree with everyone else. If that date is really that special to them, they just have to realize not everyone will make it.