Worst 50th Birthday and Fathers Day Gifts

[undertheradar]

I just turned 50 in the past couple of days and my wife and kids(22, 17, 15) don't understand why I think they don't put much effort into gift giving. My combined Fathers Day and 50th Birthday presents included a bag of miniature peanut butter cups and a bag of mini mint Milano cookies. I've already told them I will never invest more than 2 seconds purchasing a gift for any of them! My wife honestly stated that I am needy if I think those gifts are lacking. I somehow thought that 5o might have been a little important.

 

[JessicaR]

I'm sorry. I agree with you. Your children are old enough to handle Father's Day and they did not! You turning 50 should have been a big deal to all of them.

They would all be in the dog house around here!

Happy 50th to you!

 

[kimblebee]

I just turned 50 in the past couple of days and my wife and kids(22, 17, 15) don't understand why I think they don't put much effort into gift giving. My combined Fathers Day and 50th Birthday presents included a bag of miniature peanut butter cups and a bag of mini mint Milano cookies. I've already told them I will never invest more than 2 seconds purchasing a gift for any of them! My wife honestly stated that I am needy if I think those gifts are lacking. I somehow thought that 5o might have been a little important.

Maybe they are trying to throw you off track and they actually have a big party planned for the weekend. Happy Birthday!

 

[indygirl99]

See that might be the problem you waited for them to do something.

I told my family that I was going to Disney for my 50th and the only one that got to come along was DH. The kids, all adults, said cool. The grands whined they couldn't come along but said have fun. DH said what do you want me to do and I said "say yes dear".

We had a great time last September at Disneyland.

 

[Breezy_Carol]

Happy Birthday and I think you are right to feel slighted.

DH just turned 60 a week before Father's Day. DD gave him a collage picture frame with a lot of photos of our pet dogs, something he had wanted. Not expensive but thoughtful and a lot of work to collect photos from the past 25 years. Then she gave a neck tie for FD. DS is coming home this weekend to celebrate and I know he has a book DH wants. I bought him several items of clothing and ice cream gift cards. All gifts we thought about.

 

[Caropooh]

Well, that is 2 more gifts than I received from my family for my 50th birthday 2 years ago. My DH said he didn't know what to get me.' I will say he had just lost his job of 26 years 3 weeks before my birthday.

 

[wdwmom3]

I just turned 50 in the past couple of days and my wife and kids(22, 17, 15) don't understand why I think they don't put much effort into gift giving. My combined Fathers Day and 50th Birthday presents included a bag of miniature peanut butter cups and a bag of mini mint Milano cookies. I've already told them I will never invest more than 2 seconds purchasing a gift for any of them! My wife honestly stated that I am needy if I think those gifts are lacking. I somehow thought that 5o might have been a little important.

Sorry your birthday sucked but some people don't get anything for their birthday and spend it alone. How about being grateful for what you do have.

 

[java]

My 50th is 3 years away and I have started planning. I don't want to be disappointed so I'm making sure I have fun!

Do you do birthdays big in your family? Did you do something to piss them off? Honestly the teens don't surprise me( mine basically ignored mothers day) and for Fathers Day my oldest went out of town to see his girlfriend. So you are not alone..

Happy Birthday! And thanks for the reminder my dh's is in December. I will plan something special. I get your hurt feelings, a thoughtful gift doesn't need to be expensive

 

[undertheradar]

Just wanted to see if my "hurt" was justified or not. I am the one who shops for the others and gets things going for them. I just somehow wanted something to be better planned than a bag of candy and a bag of cookies. Sorry if I appear ungrateful, I thought the four of them could try to get me something that didn't look like a mini-mart, last-minute, "quickie."

 

[honeydiane1953]

I too think your family is horrible in gift giving. If you can buy yourself what you want. Plain and simple and in the future REMEMBER how considerate they were and reciprocate. BTW I am a woman.

 

[CupcakeKelly]

Just wanted to see if my "hurt" was justified or not. I am the one who shops for the others and gets things going for them. I just somehow wanted something to be better planned than a bag of candy and a bag of cookies. Sorry if I appear ungrateful, I thought the four of them could try to get me something that didn't look like a mini-mart, last-minute, "quickie."

I totally get where you are coming from. I'm the thoughtful planner in the family, and I think it just sets you up for more disappointment being that way. I always have that little glimmer of hope that someone will plan things like I do for them (spoiler alert: doesn't happen). I've learned to set the expectations a little better and ask if I truly want something, or else I'm setting myself up for a little disappointment. Maybe that's sad or cynical, but not everybody is the planning type of person

 

[Keli]

It would really hurt my feelings if my family did that. And I would have let them know about it too.
I don't think you are wrong to feel the way you do. I honestly can't understand how anyone wouldn't feel the same.

 

[sbtrfly74]

Maybe we're Dis soul mates

Im the opposite, Im over zealous in gift giving and feel slighted when its not appreciated.

My DH is never impressed with anything Ive ever given him (11 years). I even one Xmas spent over 40 hours scanning slides of his father (gone 36 years had only seen the pics once) and made 2 separate albums for him. Not even a wow, nothing.

But yet a distant cousin sent him a flag flown over some ship and he was over the moon impressed..... whatever.

Last fathers day I bought him a John Deer lawn mower and he made a snide remark i think about the cost. I finally broke down sobbing, telling him nothing I do is good enough and never has been and I was sick of it. He finally told me he didnt think he was good enough for spending that kind of money on him (it was the cheapest JD) and I explained he's been waiting for 11 years and was more than worth it. Yeah I caved.... I hate how my DH responds to gifts that I try so hard for and it makes me not want to GAS!

 

[undertheradar]

My wife was offended when I said that I would set all future expectations to zero. Sorry, they spend longer thinking about where to eat than they did on my gifts.

 

[bellarella]

Sorry your birthday sucked but some people don't get anything for their birthday and spend it alone. How about being grateful for what you do have.

Setting the bar low enough so people don't trip over it shouldn't be the way you go through life. There are always going to be circumstances that are worse. Comparing yourself to the bottom is a good way to find yourself slipping ever closer to joining it.

 

[Granny square]

Some people don't get gift giving. Are gifts really important to your wife? I love giving gifts but would far rather spend time rather than get a gift. Stuff just isn't my thing. Not sanctimonious!! Just know my nature. Now if my husband didn't want to spend time with me I would be a mess.

If they are generally good folk, then plan your own 60th, and appreciate them for their good.

If they always take you for granted then it is time to start talking.

 

[Anri]

I'm sorry your family seemed to blow off your birthday, I'd probably feel slighted too. Perhaps you need to start coming up with ideas that you actually want for birthdays, holidays, etc. My dad can be difficult to buy for, mostly because he always tells us not to get him anything. But for Father's Day this year he bought himself a new driver and went for a pro golf lesson. And why shouldn't he? He makes the money that my mom and siblings use to buy him things. I took him out for dinner at our favorite restaurant. That being said...for my dads 50th I bought him a cane and wurthers. But my dad knows a joke when he sees one, and I thought it went along rather well with his AARP card.

 

[StephMK]

I'm sorry, I'd feel slighted too. We don't do expensive gifts but do try to put some thought into them. There are plenty of ways to celebrate a milestone and a quick google search would bring up tons of ideas for anyone having trouble.

Happy Birthday to you!!!

 

[tinkerbellandeeyor]

My 50th is 3 years away and I have started planning. I don't want to be disappointed so I'm making sure I have fun!

Do you do birthdays big in your family? Did you do something to piss them off? Honestly the teens don't surprise me( mine basically ignored mothers day) and for Fathers Day my oldest went out of town to see his girlfriend. So you are not alone..

Happy Birthday! And thanks for the reminder my dh's is in December. I will plan something special. I get your hurt feelings, a thoughtful gift doesn't need to be expensive

My 30 is just two days shy of being two years away and already started planning that

 

[sbtrfly74]

Sorry but have to chime in again... every holiday, bday etc when I ask my DH what he wants he says "nothing". I personally hate that because I love to give presents more than get them... probably why im so disappointed.

I started to set my expectations way lower a long time ago, which really isnt fair to me but its not just him other things disappoint me also when I set the bar too high. (we went to the poconos for my 30th and I expected an elaborate resort.... didnt happent)

This is the first year I asked him what he wanted to do for his bday, 40th! Finally he said I dont know instead of Nothing!....

Now see, Im raising the bar to expect something else when he might just want a steak dinner?

I would be setting some peanut butter cups on fire though