Work Vacation issue. WWYD?

[3 MEN AND A BOAT]

I agree where I work literally most people don't give a crap if u need off for a certain event even your kids wedding.
This woman has been here a year and in this year has manipulated many times to be off when she needed to.
She on more than one occasion has told people she would cover for them and then in the end it's oh yea I can't or I forgot.
One of our co workers needed to leave to go to her 3 year olds program at pre school, this woman 3 weeks before said she would cover then last minute tells her something came up.

Two weeks ago my daughter had a lacrosse tryout. One time one night thing. I was working late. My boss said try and find someone first.
Said person offered to stay if I needed her to.
The day ran late , I was stuck away from everyone else . But the place knew our group was still there.
When time was getting close that I needed to leave another co worker who is 6 months pregnant called and asked me if I needed her to stay.
I said where's so and so. She's like oh she went home she figured you'd be done.
Then she has the nerve to text me and ask if we were done. I said no
She replied oh I'm sorry I'm home I thought you'd be done.
Pregnant co worker stays for me. And I covered for her last time because it was her 3 year old that was in the program.

I could go on and on not just with myself and the other co worker but others too.
So good pick up that I certainly dont hold this person in high regard.

With this info, I'd take the week.
But in full disclosure I've never had an "actual" job. I've been self-employed my entire life, so I haven't had to deal with stuff of this sort.

 

[roliepolieoliefan]

I mean, I think the real question is, how would you feel if the position was reversed? If your son was getting married and you knew and let everyone in the office know so they could hopefully make their vacation plans for other times and then someone took that week instead?

Vacations come and go. This woman wants to celebrate her daughter's (hopefully) once in a life time event. I would not be the person to take that away for her. I mean, it sounds like you don't want to go that one week in June because of your son's graduation party (which, truthfully could be rescheduled for the following week more than likely) & you are debating about ta king the week you know she needs off to attend her daughter's wedding festivities?

I know I would feel horrible thats why i haven't picked the week yet.

No the graduation party CAN NOT be rescheduled
I have family who were already told the date and are traveling , Plus I have a house at a park reserved for the party for that date.

Another thing that leaves me hesitant is that last year a girl needed off for a wedding in Alaska. She was in it, very close family member.
Week stays open , she takes it then a month before quits.
I had other weeks to choose but people below me left it open , another prime week.

I also have a husband who knows how many years it took me to even get summer weeks through the seniority system. He said take it
We can't go any other week. Take it

 

[anniemae]

You are totally within your rights to take that week. It is a cruddy situation, but the whole vacation-picking system is not your idea, if she has a problem with it, she needs to take it to the boss (which she did and boss basically said "too bad.") Personally, I would not be able to do it, I would feel to guilty even though it's not your fault.

 

[dclpluto]

Does she have call off time she can take?

 

[FlightlessDuck]

Edit:

This is a stupid system and you should change jobs.

 

[Southernmiss]

That vacation policy stinks!

I think it really needs review and consider allowing 2 to be off the same week.

 

[brockash]

We are picking vacation for next year. For reference, I work with about 12 woman give or take and only one of us can be on vacation at a time, whether we are full or part time.

The woman last to pick started about a year ago announced last month her daughters destination wedding is second week of August
She has to go . She will quit if she doesn't get the week off. Yada yada yada!
I understand. I know it's your daughter but that is a prime vacation week
Her daughter is a teacher and supposedly can't go any other time. The boss told her she will be lucky if that week is left when it's her turn.
So I'm in the middle of the pack to pick
I get the vacation pick sheet and guess which week is the only one left I can take ?
My son graduates high school this year middle of June . His party is the next Saturday.
So that leaves me the last week of June all of July and first 2 weeks of aug.
His college move in day is aug 17.
All are taken except the 2nd week of aug.
If I don't take it no summer vacation for us
If I do I'll feel bad
But it kind of makes me mad too she has put this guilt trip on all of us.

I considered Tganksgiving week but airfare , resorts are all inflated x3 because of the holiday.

Would you pick the aug week or not?
Oh FYI. There's at least 4-5 more after me to pick before wedding girl even gets her pick

12 ppl. and only 1 person can be off at a time? If you don't mind me asking, what is the job? It just sounds so odd, that only 1 out of a dozen ppl. can be out on the same day/time. All places I've worked have been very different. Yes, it means extra work and covering for those that are gone, but I have to say, with 12 employees, and only 8 weeks of summer etc., it seems bizarre to me that an employer would attempt to only allow 1 of the 12 off at a time. I think you don't really have many other options other than to take that week, but I also think it's unreasonable for your employer to not be more understanding and I totally can see and feel ppl. would be justified for quitting place like this. I understand that currently it's not a huge issue for you, but if I were you, I would totally be looking for employment elsewhere, because at some point, it is going to be an issue for just about anyone. Completely ridiculous.

 

[sam_gordon]

Based on the update, I'd be tempted to take the week. BUT, a summer vacation is not a "must" for our family. So if we have to go a year without taking a big summer trip, it's not a big deal.

That vacation policy stinks!

I think it really needs review and consider allowing 2 to be off the same week.

I don't think it's the how many can be off the same week, I think it's the way it's picked. I'm a department manager. First come, first served. Vacations can take a year to plan/save up for. If someone wants to take a vacation in February (for example), should they have to wait for everyone else to select their time off if they're "low man"?

 

[brockash]

Based on the update, I'd be tempted to take the week. BUT, a summer vacation is not a "must" for our family. So if we have to go a year without taking a big summer trip, it's not a big deal.

I don't think it's the how many can be off the same week, I think it's the way it's picked. I'm a department manager. First come, first served. Vacations can take a year to plan/save up for. If someone wants to take a vacation in February (for example), should they have to wait for everyone else to select their time off if they're "low man"?

I don't think so, otherwise, why would this be an issue. The OP clearly stated that there many weeks that would work for her family, but the only 2 left are this week and the week of her son's graduation party, so if more than 1 person could take the same week, then OP would just pick one of those. Sounds like OP can't because someone else already requested it. No way would I work for a place like this.

 

[MamaBelle4]

I know I would feel horrible thats why i haven't picked the week yet.

No the graduation party CAN NOT be rescheduled
I have family who were already told the date and are traveling , Plus I have a house at a park reserved for the party for that date.

Another thing that leaves me hesitant is that last year a girl needed off for a wedding in Alaska. She was in it, very close family member.
Week stays open , she takes it then a month before quits.
I had other weeks to choose but people below me left it open , another prime week.

I also have a husband who knows how many years it took me to even get summer weeks through the seniority system. He said take it
We can't go any other week. Take it

You've already decided. You don't like this woman, you think she's unreliable and doesn't deserve the same consideration you would hope for were you in her shoes. I understand that, I've worked with people who have crapped out on me more times than I care to count.
But, it does kind of astound me that some of your posts seem to question the immovability of the wedding when you are SO adamant a high school graduation party cannot be flexed.

Just call it what it is: it's your turn to pick vacation, someone needs off for a wedding but you don't care for her, that's the week you want, you want to pick it, how to avoid a confrontation over it or feeling guilt over it.

 

[Happyinwonerland]

I would totally take the week. At the end of the day, your family's needs come before hers.

I get that its her daughter's wedding, but she could fly in red eye friday night after work and fly home sunday. She sounds like a manipulative piece of work.

I also would not feel the least bit guilty about taking her week, especially after the way she has bailed on you.

Have fun on your vacation!

 

[Hikergirl]

I would not take that week, but I would put my name down and be a place holder for her. Unless I hated her, then no favors.

 

[mom2rtk]

How are you going to feel when you pass on it only to have someone else take it before it's her turn?

You can see the mixed feelings here. Since it's the only summer week left and OP said she's middle of the pack, there are a number of others facing the same choice here.

 

[mom2rtk]

I would not take that week, but I would put my name down and be a place holder for her. Unless I hated her, then no favors.

That was my thought with it. If I pass, then nobody else is going to get it but her. Then decide if you want to negotiate with her.

 

[Southernmiss]

Based on the update, I'd be tempted to take the week. BUT, a summer vacation is not a "must" for our family. So if we have to go a year without taking a big summer trip, it's not a big deal.

I don't think it's the how many can be off the same week, I think it's the way it's picked. I'm a department manager. First come, first served. Vacations can take a year to plan/save up for. If someone wants to take a vacation in February (for example), should they have to wait for everyone else to select their time off if they're "low man"?

Completely get your second paragraph. But op said only one could be off in a week. That's creating the dilemma.

I also managed vacation time and scheduling of employees. To be pigeon holed into 8 weeks of school vacation time for 12 employees is unfair. Fortunately, in my prior employment there were folks without children who graciously opted for time off outside of school holidays to make vacations work. And 2 could schedule vacation at the same time, especially for family milestones. We took up the slack for the good of the team.

In an age where 'work life balance' is being touted, I think it's time the company vacation policy be looked at.

Op's relationship with this employee is also figuring into her dilemma. To me a wedding trumps a high school graduation, and I have two sons accomplishing both in 2017.

 

[SC Minnie]

I would take the week you want/need. You said there are 4 or 5 other people behind you to pick before it gets to her so the chances of this week being open when she gets to it are pretty slim. The boss already told her it was a long shot. You said others have negotiated before for 2 off at the same time, this woman will too. This is cold but it's really her problem not yours.

 

[Poohlove]

Not to be insensitive to the fact that her daughter is getting married but if that were the only week that worked for me I would certainly take it. Like @tvguy said I am sure that the powers that be have some leeway when it comes to life events and they can handle the predicament, that is why they are management. Your coworker needs to have a talk with your higher ups like a big girl and tell them maturely what is on her mind rather then trying to lay guilt trips on her coworkers and threatening to quit. If I heard one of my employees threatening to quit over something, especially if they hadn't tried to resolve it first, I would make the decision for them. That is about more than a wedding, it effects team morale and isn't fair to the 11 other people who she works with.

 

[Bren's Mom]

I would take the week, first and foremost for the reason mentioned above...that someone after you but before her might take it. Second, because if the wedding isn't booked yet it could change, and then you'll be left without a week you want and she wouldn't need that week anyway. Third, because it sounds like you're a caring, reasonable solution and if you have 'control' of that important week it sounds like you'll at least try to work with her. (i.e Talking to boss about an exception, working on swapping a week or working out some other deal to help the co-worker out.) No guarantee if you pass it up and someone less senior to you takes it that they'd even consider working it out with her.

ETA: OH, and fourth, poor planning on her daughter's part does not constitute an emergency on your part. If my kid planned a destination wedding without making sure I could attend, I'd string him up by his toes!!!

 

[ronandannette]

I would not take that week.

Since the OP asked WWYD, I agree with Rylee - I wouldn't take that week. Of course, given what a sucky system the OP's workplace has, that's absolutely no guarantee the MOB will get the week either. But for my own peace-of-mind, I'd do my part by foregoing it.

...I am not saying you're not entitled to also request that week off and have a vacation, just that the way you've written your post doesn't make you come off in a very gracious light. Chances are even if you don't choose those dates, one of the others before her will, which is unfortunate for her. She'll have to try to trade or I guess quit is what it comes down to, it's just not very fair to be upset with her.

I do agree with sonnyjane though that it's unreasonable to be annoyed that the MOB tried to lobby for the week she needed. That said, given all the information, OP is not "wrong" to take it and if I was the MOB I would understand that I couldn't have hard feelings if things didn't go my way. Although I wouldn't ever YAGE out of there, I would probably make the tough choice to resign rather than miss my child's wedding.

 

[mom2rtk]

I would take the week you want/need. You said there are 4 or 5 other people behind you to pick before it gets to her so the chances of this week being open when she gets to it are pretty slim. The boss already told her it was a long shot. You said others have negotiated before for 2 off at the same time, this woman will too. This is cold but it's really her problem not yours.

Exactly. The company will likely make an exception for her daughter's wedding. But would not do so for the OP's run of the mill summer vacation. OP, take your week. If they don't negotiate with her and you are so inclined, give her the week.