Work Vacation issue. WWYD?

[Hrhpd]

We are picking vacation for next year. For reference, I work with about 12 woman give or take and only one of us can be on vacation at a time, whether we are full or part time.

The woman last to pick started about a year ago announced last month her daughters destination wedding is second week of August
She has to go . She will quit if she doesn't get the week off. Yada yada yada!
I understand. I know it's your daughter but that is a prime vacation week
Her daughter is a teacher and supposedly can't go any other time. The boss told her she will be lucky if that week is left when it's her turn.
So I'm in the middle of the pack to pick
I get the vacation pick sheet and guess which week is the only one left I can take ?
My son graduates high school this year middle of June . His party is the next Saturday.
So that leaves me the last week of June all of July and first 2 weeks of aug.
His college move in day is aug 17.
All are taken except the 2nd week of aug.
If I don't take it no summer vacation for us
If I do I'll feel bad
But it kind of makes me mad too she has put this guilt trip on all of us.

I considered Tganksgiving week but airfare , resorts are all inflated x3 because of the holiday.

Would you pick the aug week or not?
Oh FYI. There's at least 4-5 more after me to pick before wedding girl even gets her pick

Did you ever think that the week is still available because all your coworkers are graciously leaving it open for her?

How are you going to look to your coworkers when you are the one to take the week?

I guess I am different than the most. I think one's child's wedding is a once in a lifetime occasion and a no-brainer. I would honor the wishes of the person and not choose that week no matter how much I disliked her and thought she was not a team player. I would feel like a total jerk taking it and would also think anyone else taking it would be a jerk. It is just one summer to sacrifice.

But then, I also understand wanting a summer vacation. That is why I have never worked nor will ever work for a place that does vacations like that. Everywhere my husband and I have worked, we just announce when we are taking vacation.

 

[Hrhpd]

I know I would feel horrible thats why i haven't picked the week yet.

No the graduation party CAN NOT be rescheduled
I have family who were already told the date and are traveling , Plus I have a house at a park reserved for the party for that date.

Just like a wedding cannot be rescheduled. In fact, they are even harder to reschedule than a high school graduation party. Especially a wedding that has been in the planning for over a year. You can't just reschedule 8 months before the wedding. Deposits are lost, people have vacations and travel plans arranged, etc.

 

[mnrose]

I'm actually pretty surprised at these reactions. Come on, its her daughter's wedding!! Its not like they want to take a cruise or something. Its a once in a lifetime experience, how do you miss your child's wedding? I too am curious, how far is the "destination", are we talking Hawaii, or Fl? If the latter, then maybe she can negotiate certain days with you, kind of share the week. But if its long distance, I'd suck it up and just give it to her. How can you take that away from her? Its a no brainer for me.

She's not taking ANYTHING away from that lady. It was never "hers" to have. It would be one thing if the week was designated to her (which it most definitely is NOT) and it was "taken" from her, but she's announced a pre-emptive strike when it was not hers to take.

Sorry, that's the way these systems work. If the lady doesn't like it, she most certainly is within her rights to seek alternative employment. But, no, she doesn't get to "choose first."

 

[Mickeyluver37]

I haven't asked but myself and others have rearranged vacations when others have picked "our" week prior to others over the years.
I agree our vacation policy sucks and literally something comes up like this all the time. Maybe not a wedding but it's always something
Last year a girl did get a week off when another was on vacation because she begged and pleaded and it was when her whole family was going on vacation so yes exceptions are made

I would not take that week, but I would put my name down and be a place holder for her. Unless I hated her, then no favors.

I would really like to know what industry you work in that 11 of you must be there at all times, and someone even taking a few hours for a preschool program is a hardship. Not only is the picking of weeks absurd, but it sounds like you are saying, and many others are suggesting, that in the end, it's not really seniority that matters for TAKING the vacation, but just having the right to sell it to the highest bidder. Let's just say I'm the most senior member, and the newest employee is my best friend or family member. I know they want a prime week in July, so I can take that one, knowing I can just trade with them, and employees number 2-10 don't even get a chance at that week?

 

[bgirldeb]

I would take the week I want and am entitled to. It's up to the boss/ HR to handle her situation.

 

[lifesavacation]

Tough spot to be in.

I would probably take the week. It's really up to your coworker and the boss to work this out. I would assume he/she has the authority to grant 2 people to take vacation in the same week. If he/she doesn't allow it because it goes against company policy, that's not your fault.

I assume employees aren't fired if they call in sick. If I was the coworker and couldn't get vacation time, I would call in sick.

 

[Hikergirl]

I would really like to know what industry you work in that 11 of you must be there at all times, and someone even taking a few hours for a preschool program is a hardship. Not only is the picking of weeks absurd, but it sounds like you are saying, and many others are suggesting, that in the end, it's not really seniority that matters for TAKING the vacation, but just having the right to sell it to the highest bidder. Let's just say I'm the most senior member, and the newest employee is my best friend or family member. I know they want a prime week in July, so I can take that one, knowing I can just trade with them, and employees number 2-10 don't even get a chance at that week?

FTR, I'm a SAHM but I did work and I did have to pick vacation time along with everyone else, and yes we could only have one person out a week, but managers were willing to work with people under certain situations. The one in the OP most likely would have been taken care of by mgmt.
Anyway to the bolded, there is nothing wrong with writing your name down on an available week when it is your turn and switching with someone else. If that week is open you can take it fairly. If you choose not to use it for your own vacation time, it is yours to give to someone else.

 

[Darcy03231]

I would take the week I wanted and not feel guilty about it. You've obviously worked there long enough to have some seniority and probably had to take what was left when you were a newer employee (although I will say I think your vacation policy is lousy). It's between your coworker and the bosses as to whether or not they let her take the week off too. She obviously knew the vacation policy when she took the job, so if she finds it isn't working for her, then she probably should find another job that suits her needs better. FWIW, that policy would be a deal breaker for me and I wouldn't have taken the job.

 

[MamaBelle4]

Tough spot to be in.

I would probably take the week. It's really up to your coworker and the boss to work this out. I would assume he/she has the authority to grant 2 people to take vacation in the same week. If he/she doesn't allow it because it goes against company policy, that's not your fault.

I assume employees aren't fired if they call in sick. If I was the coworker and couldn't get vacation time, I would call in sick.

If it is a destination wedding, calling in sick for 1 day likely won't cut it.
Neither would flying out on a red eye then back the next day. What about the rehearsal dinner and whatever other activities?

 

[lifesavacation]

If it is a destination wedding, calling in sick for 1 day likely won't cut it.
Neither would flying out on a red eye then back the next day. What about the rehearsal dinner and whatever other activities?

Call in sick for more than 1 day.

 

[MamaBelle4]

Call in sick for more than 1 day.

I don't know, a lot of places have a 3 day or more doctor note required policy. Plus everyone, including the boss knows that's her daughter's wedding.

Probably be easier just to quit. If I worked somewhere, boss told me I couldn't have off for my daughter's wedding, and my coworkers wouldn't help cover for me, I'd be gone. But to be fair, it doesn't sound like this coworker offers the same consideration to her coworkers whereas I would.
The woman still needs off for her daughter's wedding. And OP is in for an earful and a half if she takes this week.

 

[Caskett616]

Call in sick for more than 1 day.

And that can get fishy. Especially since this employee went on and on about needing that day.

 

[rigs32]

If the woman in question were kind, hard working, and a team player, I'd leave the week.

But if she won't cover for others and weasels out of helping out, then that makes the equation very different.

 

[mousefanmichelle]

You have other dates to pick besides the one for this lady's wedding. Why don't you pick what else was available - you said last week of June, all of July and first 2 weeks of Aug. Why are you honing in on the 2nd week of Aug? Kind of seems like you want to take it just to spite her.

Maybe the boss will have some heart and give her some time off that week anyway since it really is a special occasion then the problem is solved.

 

[Hrhpd]

And OP is in for an earful and a half if she takes this week.

Especially if the week is still open because the other coworkers who picked earlier left it open for her. Seems too much of a coincidence that this particular week is the ONLY week still available in the summer. It almost seems like everyone else avoided picking that week out of respect for the woman's plans.

I certainly wouldn't want to be "the one" in the office to take the Mother of the Bride's wedding away.

 

[Mizzoufan]

I'd let her have it. For whatever it worth what a horrible way to do vacation time.

 

[anniemae]

Especially if the week is still open because the other coworkers who picked earlier left it open for her. Seems too much of a coincidence that this particular week is the ONLY week still available in the summer. It almost seems like everyone else avoided picking that week out of respect for the woman's plans.

I certainly wouldn't want to be "the one" in the office to take the Mother of the Bride's wedding away.

That is what I was thinking, that people are leaving it for her. I would not want to be the one that takes that week from her either. It is a wedding, not just any vacation. I feel like I would never hear the end of it, then I would feel guilty.

 

[anniemae]

We are picking vacation for next year. For reference, I work with about 12 woman give or take and only one of us can be on vacation at a time, whether we are full or part time.

The woman last to pick started about a year ago announced last month her daughters destination wedding is second week of August
She has to go . She will quit if she doesn't get the week off. Yada yada yada!
I understand. I know it's your daughter but that is a prime vacation week
Her daughter is a teacher and supposedly can't go any other time. The boss told her she will be lucky if that week is left when it's her turn.
So I'm in the middle of the pack to pick
I get the vacation pick sheet and guess which week is the only one left I can take ?
My son graduates high school this year middle of June . His party is the next Saturday.
So that leaves me the last week of June all of July and first 2 weeks of aug.
His college move in day is aug 17.
All are taken except the 2nd week of aug.
If I don't take it no summer vacation for us
If I do I'll feel bad
But it kind of makes me mad too she has put this guilt trip on all of us.

I considered Tganksgiving week but airfare , resorts are all inflated x3 because of the holiday.

Would you pick the aug week or not?
Oh FYI. There's at least 4-5 more after me to pick before wedding girl even gets her pick

The first bolded part: Is that what is available for you to choose from? If last week of June, and all of July are free, why not choose one of those weeks, or the first week of Aug?

For the second bold: Is the 2nd week of Aug the ONLY week left available in the summer? They are contradicting statements, so I am confused.

ETA: Ahhh I think I know what you are saying. Your son is out of school mid June, so you have a limited time frame to take a family vaca while he is out of school. As of now, the only week available is 2nd week of Aug. I was confused by the wording, I thought all those weeks were open to take for vacation.

 

[sam_gordon]

I don't think so, otherwise, why would this be an issue. The OP clearly stated that there many weeks that would work for her family, but the only 2 left are this week and the week of her son's graduation party, so if more than 1 person could take the same week, then OP would just pick one of those. Sounds like OP can't because someone else already requested it. No way would I work for a place like this.

I was replying to why I think the vacation policy needs changed, not that it wasn't an issue in this case.

 

[mom2rtk]

Especially if the week is still open because the other coworkers who picked earlier left it open for her. Seems too much of a coincidence that this particular week is the ONLY week still available in the summer. It almost seems like everyone else avoided picking that week out of respect for the woman's plans.

I certainly wouldn't want to be "the one" in the office to take the Mother of the Bride's wedding away.

I get that. But the ones to pick earlier had more choices. I think it's far more likely to be chosen now that the other weeks are gone.

That said, I can definitely see both sides of this.