Work Problem, What Would You Do?

[maelstrom]

I doubt that your co-worker planned her wedding in August to spite you, and she probably just forgot all about your vacation, with all the fuss going on with planning the wedding. I'm a little confused about why you'd plan a wedding without making sure you could get the time off, but whatever. I'd say if you're comfortable with it, try changing your vacation dates. If it doesn't work out, too bad. You had your vacation dates in already and she made an error. Yes, you'll probably look like the mean old witch who completely and totally ruined your co-worker's wedding, but that isn't your problem. As they say, an error on your part does not constitute an emergency on mine.

 

[maddhatir]

There seem to be many issues going on here: how you feel about the coworker, the supervisor's wonky attitude about discussing her with you, your feelings about "your" weeks, her feelings (which we really don't know, since we only have access to your side).

Be nice, let her go ahead with her plans. Consider it a karmic bank deposit.

Too much drama. Let it go- tell her to enjoy her wedding.

IMO- WEDDINGS trump vacations.

 

[LurkerLisa]

HELLO??????

Doesn't that fact that this is NOT her first wedding make a difference???

I'm just saying...

 

[mickeyfan2]

I have only read the first page. This may have already been brough up.

I agree with the wedding is only once group.

BUT there is another problem with wedding/vacation clash can cause. As long as the two of you work at this company every year your vacation and her anniversary will conflict. How will you handle this? Will you never allow her and her husband to go away on their anniversary?

 

[maddhatir]

HELLO??????

Doesn't that fact that this is NOT her first wedding make a difference???

I'm just saying...

OP- why is this woman not married anymore? I am just curious.

 

[TennVolTony]

Change your vacation time and go some place else.

 

[jrmasm]

This is not directed at the OP....


This thread has been a real eye opener for me. I feel very lucky that DH and I work in professional offices, with adults. 'Mine!' or 'I was here first!' attitudes are not tolerated. We are expected to work things out like the big people that we are.

I should probably buy my boss lunch today.

 

[va32h]

HELLO??????

Doesn't that fact that this is NOT her first wedding make a difference???

I'm just saying...

No it doesn't, not to me.

 

[mickeyfan2]

HELLO??????

Doesn't that fact that this is NOT her first wedding make a difference???

I'm just saying...

It would only matter to me if the coworker planned a new wedding each august.

 

[DMickey28]

In my previous jobs there was a group of us that could do the work so we didn't really run into the problem.

When I planned my wedding, I did not think about my job even once. I just went in said I am getting married x date and need two weeks off after.

However this circumstance is clearly very different. I have never ever been turned down vacation time. The only time it has been a issue is Christmas time but I have always gotten that as well. Since she is in a position where she KNOWS that one of you HAS to be there then I do think she should have at least tenitively checked if that date was ok before going ahead and planning it.

Maybe worse case is she can move her wedding forward one week and then she gets married on the weekend you return from your vacations. She's gone Monday and you come back in.

 

[jrmasm]

It would only matter to me if the coworker planned a new wedding each august.

That would definitely be relevant.

 

[KimAshton]

This is not directed at the OP....


This thread has been a real eye opener for me. I feel very lucky that DH and I work in professional offices, with adults. 'Mine!' or 'I was here first!' attitudes are not tolerated. We are expected to work things out like the big people that we are.

I should probably buy my boss lunch today.

I agree with you. I am very lucky to work where I do. Mind you I work in a nursing home with old people. But everyone in the business office and admissions office get along like family. We joke around but we get our work done.

 

[EthansMom]

I don't really get the "Wedding Trumps Vacation" point of view, I guess.

The OP has a standard vacation time. She had Supervisor approval to take that time off again this year, is my understanding, and probably has non-refundable deposits made for a house rental.

The coworker, knowing that the OP takes a yearly vacation "sometime during that time of year" made plans for her wedding. Knowing that the she and the OP have to coordinate vacation times, the coworker didn't check with the OP to see if she already has a vacation approved before making her plans.

IMO, whomever had approval for the vacation time first should get it off.

I don't understand the folks who think that a coworker's wedding should trump the OP's family vacation plans just because it's a WEDDING... it's not the OP's wedding... It would be a nice gesture if she could/would change her vacation time, but she shouldn't be out any money because her coworker didn't check before making her plans.

 

[Minnie]

Work trumps Wedding. Period.

A responsible adult would check their work schedule and vacation time availability before making ANY type of firm plans. This is part of being an employee.

To assume that a co-worker should incur a financial penalty so that she can have the time off for her wedding is beyond selfish and immature. Wondering how long this marriage will last....

 

[The Mystery Machine]

I don't think she did it to cause me harm, I don't think she gives a crap though. We have a cordial relationship at best, but we aren't best friends.

She hates her job and she's trying to get a transfer/promotion but she's not able to transfer/promote out due to poor job performance. She's been told that she can't be transferred or promoted, so I know that she's looking for a job outside the company. She hates our office.

I could make these changes and she could quit any day.

Based on this info, I would say tough nuts to her. This does not sound like someone I would give a favor too.

 

[Beth76]

IMO- WEDDINGS trump vacations.

Well when you think about it, the wedding is only one day. And usually a Saturday (although perhaps this isn't a M-F job). The rest of the "wedding" is also just a vacation.

 

[heart4pooh]

Just my opinion, but the bride to be probably has no intention on being at that job come August and that is why she didn't feel the need to make sure she can get the time off. Otherwise, any fool knows that you need to make sure with your boss that you can take TWO WEEKS off work!!! She's not asking for a long weekend!!! I say you should tell her that since she didn't ask before hand you are assuming she isn't planning on working through August anyhow so you don't feel the need to change your plans. I think it will be safe to assume you won't be invited to the wedding She has to grow up one day. Might as well be today.

 

[mickeyfan2]

OT question

How does this company handle emergencies.

The OP is on their scheduled two week vacation. The coworker is on her way to work and gets in an auto accident on the first day of the OP's vacation. What would they do in this situation?

It seems the BIG problem is that the boss needs a plan for this emergency and they us that same plan to solve this problem.

 

[MELSMICE]

Well, I asked for opinions and I got them, thanks everyone!

I'll have to wait for the cottage owner to get back to me about July availability. If I do forfeit those weeks I'll just have to hope she doesn't jump ship (which she's been trying desperately to do for months) and make it all for nothing.

As far as getting a comparable job, she could probably get one outside the company, but she's not eligible for promotion or transfer due to poor performance. That's would be a whole 'nother thread.

Well, I haven't read every response - only the first 2 pages & while I know I'll get flamed for this, I agree with you.

Before making plans, whether it be a wedding or something else, she should have gone through the proper channels of making sure she could have the time off, especially if she knew someone else had seniority over her.

Personally, if it were me I would just tell her I was unable to rent the cottage at another time & let the chips fall where they may. If you went through the proper channels, asked for the time off & were granted it & she did not, then it's her issue to deal with.

OK - flame suit on!!!

 

[LindaM]

Could her supervisor not help out during the vacation/wedding time? I have a department of 13 people, everyone wants holidays in the summer (who doesn't), I have made sure that each desk has crossed trained with at least 2 other people. But there has been times that I have had 3 people wanting to take vacation at the same time, even though I know it will be tough of those of us remaining, but as a manager I feel it is also my job to help out when needed. Compromise = a happy department and to me that is more important that me being extremely busy for a couple of weeks.