Work Problem, What Would You Do?

[mommanne]

Hi there! I'd like to get opinions on a problem I'm having.

I have a woman that backs me up at work. When one of us is out, the other has to be there. There's no getting around it.

Every year, I take the same two weeks in August and rent a cottage on Cape Cod. It never varies, it's always the same two weeks. This will be our third summer working together, so she's covered this vacation period twice before.

Today my back-up informed me she's getting married smack-dab in the middle of my vacation time, and wants two weeks off. She claimed to have forgotten about my standing vacation and/or thought I usually go in September, and she's already planned the wedding. I don't know how she came up with that because I have kids and can't go to the Cape for two weeks in September, but whatever.

I was in shock, and told her I'd see if I could change my weeks to July, but I doubt I can as the cottage is always booked solid. I haven't heard back from the cottage owner yet.

As I've thought about it however, I'm getting ticked off. Changing my weeks means we wouldn't see the people we've befriended that always spend that time at the community we rent in.

Also, last year I added a vacation day prior to my two week vacation to get packed for vacation and to cook for my mother's retirement party which was held on the day my rental started. She decided she had to have that day off, so to accomodate her I worked that day and had the caterer for my mother's party cook the portion I was to cook, which cost me a fortune. I did it as a favor to her, as she was covering me for two weeks.

I should add that I have seniority over her, in position and time with the company. If I say no, it's no, but I don't want to be that way!! I'd like to be accomodating. By the same token, she shouldn't have planned a wedding without making sure she could get the time off.

I've spoken to her supervisor, who agrees that she should have cleared the vacation time with me before planning her wedding, and sympathizes with me. I told her I'm not happy and she agrees with me. I haven't told the big boss yet because he'll be pretty ticked off with her and I don't want that.

If you got this far and my post makes any sense, thanks for reading. What would you do?

 

[yearbook50]

Honestly, there could be another reason she had her wedding in August...

I truly doubt it was to spite you.

 

[EthansMom]

"Work Problem, What Would You Do?"

Like you, I would check to see if I could move my vacation to another time convenient to my family.

If not, then I'd tell the girl, "I'm sorry, I couldn't move my vacation time. You will need to move your wedding date."

There is plenty of time that she should be able to change the date if you ask me! Especially since she didn't check with you first. Frankly, I would be shocked if she had made firm plans (deposits, etc..) without first checking with you.

 

[Pumbaa_]

How do you plan a wedding and not find out if the dates work all around? I wonder if she has picked this date but not booked everything yet.

If you have already put in for your vacation timem had it approved and booked the cottage, I would be very sympathetic to her plight, but I would not change my plans.

I have my vacations all planned for 2008. I plan things out. (I can also tell you my tentative vacation plans for 2009 too )

Vacation is so important. I don't blame you for wanting to go back at the same time to see the friends you have made.

Good luck,

 

[Connieh]

What a dilemma, I would hate that to happen to me.

Where I work, vacations are bid on, seniority counts. We don't make plans till we know what weeks we can get. Sounds presumptious on your coworkers part.

Hope it works out for you.

 

[autumnbaby9]

I can't imagine even thinking about my co-workers vacation when planning my wedding. There is already enough people you have to take into consideration without adding co-workers into the equation.

My guess is she chose the best time for her and her groom and their families.

I highly doubt she was trying to ruin your vacation or cause problems.

 

[JR6ooo4]

It is only one year. The friends at the nieghboring cottage's are just one week friends, correct?

If you could get out of the deal with no monetary loss then I would change my vacation. A wedding is only once in a lifetime (sometimes).

as far as changing plans for a wedding... we booked the hall 1.5 years in advance and it was the last saturday available that year!!
(dw had it booked 2 days after I proposed)

Mikeeee

 

[I'mNoPrince]

We don't do anything without checking . We have 5 in our group now that we can have 1 off at any given time.

We won't pick for another couple of weeks but some have already sent out some E-mails. I was the first as I needed 2 weeks around the July 4th time . Another always take X-mas and then anothe the week before they are the top on the list.

No one would even think about making plans without a quick check.Then if all Oks it then they have nothing to say later on.

It's hard but your Vacation time is just that yours .

i would switch if i could get the same place moving it a few weeks but other ten that it's on her and you just have to be the Bad guy in her eyes and deal with it.

 

[tiggersmom2]

From my personal experience, I find that most people plan weddings around their families and what will work for them.....they don't do it to spite a co-worker....

 

[newcomer52]

I can't imagine even thinking about my co-workers vacation when planning my wedding. There is already enough people you have to take into consideration without adding co-workers into the equation.

My guess is she chose the best time for her and her groom and their families.

I highly doubt she was trying to ruin your vacation or cause problems.

I agree. Planning a once in a lifetime event as opposed to a yearly vacation seems to take priority. A lot can happen between now and August. Maybe you'll be covered by someone else by that time.

 

[mommanne]

Thanks for your opinions everyone! As I said, I've emailed the cottage owner and if I can change the two weeks to July, I will do so, though I won't be happy about it. That's not that big a deal.

The problem is, I'm pretty sure there's no availability and I won't be able to switch weeks. This cottage is booked solid for years in advance. Then I have to decide to forfeit my vacation, or ask her to move her wedding date. That's what I'm worried about. I understand that it's a wedding, but I really think she should have cleared the vacation time first. I don't know any details of the wedding as far as what is booked, etc.

I don't want to be a jerk and make her change her wedding plans, but should I have to forfeit my vacation due to her lack of planning?

Thanks again.

 

[christiane]

I know you mentioned one of the two of you must cover your position, but isn't there a way for a third person to be available to cover the 2 weeks so both of you would be free.

You have about 7 months to find & train somebody, either internally or externally. There are temp. agencies for many different occupations ..I'm sure you could find someone!!

In my business, I ensure I cross-train for multiple positions..so if 1 or 2 people can't work, I am still covered....

 

[pepperw23]

Well since you asked. Sadly although I sympathize with you, I do not agree. I do not know the history of the other woman, but she may have planned her wedding around family availability.

I always tell my employees to pretend they are on the opposing side and see if they would have the same view, if not come "bug" me then . She only has one wedding day.

When your DH first proposed to you what would you have said (honestly now) if a coworker had asked you to plan your wedding around their vacation?

Either way, I hope you guys work it out. I bet you are both nice people

 

[tiggersmom2]

Thanks for your opinions everyone! As I said, I've emailed the cottage owner and if I can change the two weeks to July, I will do so, though I won't be happy about it. That's not that big a deal.

The problem is, I'm pretty sure there's no availability and I won't be able to switch weeks. This cottage is booked solid for years in advance. Then I have to decide to forfeit my vacation, or ask her to move her wedding date. That's what I'm worried about. I understand that it's a wedding, but I really think she should have cleared the vacation time first. I don't know any details of the wedding as far as what is booked, etc.

I don't want to be a jerk and make her change her wedding plans, but should I have to forfeit my vacation due to her lack of planning?

Thanks again.

You certainly don't HAVE to, but I do believe it would be the gracious and "right" thing to do. Like I said, I doubt she picked the dates to spite you...it just panned out that way.

 

[Honu]

I can't imagine even thinking about my co-workers vacation when planning my wedding. There is already enough people you have to take into consideration without adding co-workers into the equation.

Wouldn't you make sure with your employer that you could actually take those days off though? If her only responsibility in scheduling days off is to check the dates with her coworker, then she should have done it. I feel bad for her, but it's her fault. Hopefully the cabin will be available in July.

 

[mommanne]

I know you mentioned one of the two of you must cover your position, but isn't there a way for a third person to be available to cover the 2 weeks so both of you would be free.

You have about 7 months to find & train somebody, either internally or externally. There are temp. agencies for many different occupations ..I'm sure you could find someone!!

In my business, I ensure I cross-train for multiple positions..so if 1 or 2 people can't work, I am still covered....

I wish we could, that would be great! We tried that last time she wanted to be out at the same time as me and my boss said absolutely not. She was hired to back me up and if I'm not there, she's to be there. It's not negotiable. Ridiculous, I know.

 

[pepperw23]

Wouldn't you make sure with your employer that you could actually take those days off though? If her only responsibility in scheduling days off is to check the dates with her coworker, then she should have done it. I feel bad for her, but it's her fault. Hopefully the cabin will be available in July.

I see your point in a way, but it seems like she pretty much is checking. Aug is 7 1/2 months away. Plenty of notice for vacation.

Personally I also fault the supervisor a tad. The supervisor should not be discussing one employee with another for starters.

If it were my decision, I would tell them both that they have 60 days to cross train another employee and report back to me. If there is no one to cross train..well, guess who gets to do it? Me. (okay realisticaly I would probably hire a temp lol but I would do it if I had time...honest.)

 

[kidzmom3]

OP a question. Do you honestly think that she picked these dates on purpose to cause you harm/distress?

Is that the relationship that you have with each other?

 

[LisaZee]

I'm sorry, but there is no way I would dream of asking her to move a once in a lifetime occasion that is probably costing her $10-20k to accommodate your vacation.

Question - was your vacation time "booked" at your job? Had you put in for it already and had the time off approved? If your vacation slip was not filled out, I don't think you have any leg to stand on here. If I were her, I would certainly not keep track of what 2 weeks out of 52 that you take your standing vacation each year. That's not her responsibility to remember. And she needs to make plans now for a wedding in August, so she can't bank on the fact that you may be taking those weeks off (I say "may" if you haven't gotten approval and those weeks aren't on a calendar somewhere. It's all theoretical til your slip is filled out.) So, if she took the days off before you, it's kind of a "you snooze, you lose" thing. Even if you have senority. Otherwise, people would never be able to truly plan time off because there would always be someone with more senority than them that could request the same time off and bump their vacation.

Let's say you did reserve those weeks. You got specific approval for those exact dates and it's on a calendar. People plan weddings based on family availability as well as location/church availability. Maybe this date was the only one available. Maybe it was the only one she could afford. You don't know that. If the supervisor can't/won't cover it (as a supervisor I wouldn't deny someone time off for their wedding, no matter who already had off!) and no one else can cover, I still would not "bump" her wedding.

What would your supervisor do if you were on vacation and she got sick for a week and called off?

I really am sorry that your vacation won't be what you imagined it to be, but I'm guessing you can find some way to be happy for your co-worker.

 

[freckles and boo]

Sounds like a great opportunity to shake up the vacation a little bit and maybe do something completely different. I don't mean to be obnoxious, but you don't "own" that time. It is just a routine you have fallen into and perhaps you could give a little. I am sure she would appreciate it.