Wishes or Escape??

[StephanieRN]

Hello all, longtime lurker here. I have read so many beautiful weddings from previous brides. I finally get to plan my own! I happen to need some advice from all you lovely ladies. I am trying to decide between an Escape wedding, inviting only immediate family, or doing a Wishes wedding and expanding our guest list. My must haves are the Wedding Pavilion, lots of flowers, and of course Fireworks!!! At this point in time, budget is not a problem so either option is available.

Here's my biggest ideas conflicting in my head, making my decision impossible:
1. Immediate family is the only ones who will truly get meaning out of being at the ceremony, I feel like the rest are just there for the party.
2. I have a new diagnosis of Epilepsy, and stress seems to be a trigger to set off seizures. My FMIL thinks that for stress reasons, I should have the Escape wedding because it will be less stressful.
3. I know that neither wedding option will not be stress free.
4. I like the Wishes collection because I am not restricted to a few choices.
5. Part of me wants a really big wedding with a big party and fireworks, yet part of me wants to keep it very intimate, almost like an elopement.

Any suggestions or advice would be appreciated! Thanks all!

 

[lurkyloo]

Welcome out of lurkdom!

1. Immediate family is the only ones who will truly get meaning out of being at the ceremony, I feel like the rest are just there for the party.

I'm not sure that's true. Think about all the friends' wedding you've been to. You went because you love them and wanted to participate in their special day, right? I know I did!

2. I have a new diagnosis of Epilepsy, and stress seems to be a trigger to set off seizures. My FMIL thinks that for stress reasons, I should have the Escape wedding because it will be less stressful.

Believe me, PLENTY of brides find Escape events stressful because there's so little they can control or customize. I guess it depends on what kind of planner you are. If you're a perfectionist who has to control every detail (like me!), it's going to be stressful either way, and you may find the Escape restrictions frustrating. If you're easygoing and happy to just check off your selections on a list and let Disney handle it (which you can do with Escape or Wishes), then you'll have a stress-free day.

5. Part of me wants a really big wedding with a big party and fireworks, yet part of me wants to keep it very intimate, almost like an elopement.

This I totally understand. For a long time I thought I wanted an elopement because I believed the wedding was exclusively about the couple and their commitment to each other. Then my brother eloped and broke my mom's heart when she found out they'd actually invited some of their friends—just not any family. I began to see how the wedding is also partly about celebrating with others, and that it can be just as important to them as to you.

Besides, just because you invite a few more people than family doesn't mean it has to be a huge blowout experience. We had 34 people at our event, and it was the perfect size for us. It was small enough that we could spend quality time with everybody who attended, but large enough that we could have a Wishes event, with all the customization that entails.

 

[StephanieRN]

Thanks for the reply. I am going back and forth with all my options. I have a vision in mind, and some of the choices with the Escape package don't quite fit. But the idea of a Wishes event seems overwhelming. Although I enjoy the fact that I can pick exactly what I want. In all honesty, I'll probably go with a smaller Wishes event so I can get the floral I want, plus I really want to use the Whitehall room! I think I am leaning towards a noon ceremony with a lunch reception and a small break before fireworks. I'll need a rest in there. Brunch sounds nice as well, just not sure I want to be up that early, lol! I am all for suggestions though. And I'm going to keep reading to see what others have done to get some inspiration. Thanks!

 

[lurkyloo]

Believe me, if you're feeling overwhelmed by choice, Disney does off-the-shelf Wishes events all the time. If you have no strong opinions about what may seem like myriad options, they will happily guide you into the standard options that most of their couples (i.e., the ones who never find the Disboards & Facebook groups) use!

 

[rachel09985]

I went through the same scenario when I first decided on a disney wedding. On one hand I wanted a small no frills wedding but the other hand I wanted a traditional wedding with the typical components. We went with a Wishes wedding and only had 24 people. It was perfect.

Based on what you said I would totally do a Wishes wedding. If money is not a concern definitely Wishes. The nice thing about a disney wedding is they do all the work for you you just have to tell them what you want.

 

[StephanieRN]

Thanks ladies! I believe I'm leaning more towards Wishes. I just am so indecisive, and play a dozen different scenarios out in my head, and I just can't choose! My fiance says that he will do what ever I want, as long as I get my dream wedding. My dad wants to host a grand event for 100+. And my future in laws keep telling me to do something small and simple. There are advantages and disadvantages to all of the choices, and I think I like one of them, but then I change my mind. Argh........... this is why I have been engaged since September, and still do not have a date, lol.

 

[epcotcenter1982]

I've been to a variety of guest size weddings....one was 400 guests, another about 150 guests, then 80 guest and about 60 guests. At none of these events was there ever really any interaction between the couple and the guests beyond table group photos and ceremony friend group photos.
There simple wasn't time.
Sure they were wonderful and special (and informative of what I would chose when my day came) as I caught up with school friends I hadn't seen in ages as some flew in from overseas. But if as the bride you care about the interaction between you and the guests you need to try and keep it under 50.

For me I couldn't justify going up in price for Wishes and getting the greater choice and I'm pretty happy with the selections on Escape. I'm putting the money I could have spent on that on a double park shoot the next morning. That's more important to me...
The choices on Escape suit me and our very small wedding well. But if you can afford it go to Wishes...just keep the guest count low still. Don't let it guide you into the large guest count. Let the guest count always be determined by you.

 

[Doodlebug25413]

I'm having an Escape Wedding. And we are able to do some customizing outside the initial package. There are certain things that I wanted no matter what, and yes, it's considered an add on to the package. My coordinator gave me prices on the pictures and ideas that I sent. Everything is easy. Yes, it's been stressful, but mostly on my part with what I want and my budget. Disney has made things pretty easy and smooth.

Take lots of bubble baths to de-stress.

My issue of inviting my large extended family was our budget, because I don't think we could have afforded a Wishes wedding. And travel expenses as my family has financial restrictions as well.
Currently there will be 7 including us at the wedding. It's really what YOU and your Fiance truly want. I know I only go to weddings that I am invited to because like LurkyLoo said, because I care and love that person(s)
and want to celebrate in their joy and happiness. I don't go for the party. That's just a bonus if there is one.

And hugs to you with dealing with your Epilepsy. My nephew was diagnosed last year and he's started to finally get his treatment under control. My sister has stressed out so much with this, but they are both super troopers.
Stay Strong!

 

[RockabillyBabeFl]

Thinking about Swan and Dolphin or Pavillon wedding at Grand Floridan...can I use any photographer I choose? Can't stand places that will only allow you to use theirs. TIA

 

[marsh0013]

Thinking about Swan and Dolphin or Pavillon wedding at Grand Floridan...can I use any photographer I choose? Can't stand places that will only allow you to use theirs. TIA

Yes, you can use outside photography for Swan/Dolphin or at the wedding Pavillion. I think the only wedding through DFTW that requires you to use Disney photography is at the Train Station in MK.

 

[Doodlebug25413]

We are using outside photographer and videographer. So yes, you can with a DFTW wedding. With the Train Station, I'm not sure on that, you would need to ask your planner/coordinator. But the train station is only available for Wishes weddings.

If you use your outside photo/video you just have them sign and submit a waiver to Disney. If you're having an In Park wedding (Like inside Epcot) you may need to pay a vender fee with Disney. It's not very expensive, but I'm not 100% on what it actually is since I'm having ours at Yacht Club.

You can still use Disney Photography if you decide to use your own photographer. We are doing a Family Portrait Session, there's no extra fee for this. We can't do wedding attire. You can also use them to do your photos for a Dessert Party if you choose to do that. That way you're not losing the service altogether.

You should look into LurkyLoo's ebook. It was super helpful for me. She breaks a lot of questions down for all three of the packages and the cruise weddings.

http://www.passporter.com/disney-weddings-honeymoons.php

 

[StephanieRN]

Thank you everyone for all your thoughtful replies! You ladies have given me so much to think about. I am so indecisive on the scale of the wedding. I do have a certain theme and feel I want for the wedding, just not sure of the size. I'm torn between large and small. Just need to think about this a little more.

 

[StephanieRN]

Does any one have any tips on how to turn the Escape package into more of a Wishes event? I was considering the escape package and adding on a private catered meal and a dessert party. Are there any other things I can do to make the day have the complete wedding feel? Any thoughts, tips, or ideas are greatly appreciated! Thanks!!!

 

[lurkyloo]

That's usually what folks do—add the 2-hour catered event and/or a dessert party. At that point, really the only difference between Escape and Wishes is that you have more ceremony choices for Wishes and can do a slightly more traditional reception with a DJ and dancing. On the other hand, you have to stick to those minimum expenditures, whereas an Escape catered event just has a flat food and beverage minimum based on the venue you choose.

 

[StephanieRN]

Lurky, thanks for all your helpful knowledge and insight! I have a quick question for you, did you like the flow of your day with an early morning in park wedding followed by brunch and then a DP later that night? Also, do you have info on a private event at Monsour Paul? Thinking about possibly using France as a venue choice as well...... I have way to many ideas!

 

[lurkyloo]

Yes! Early morning was a great time for photos, and it allowed us to have our ceremony at Epcot (a must for us). Having a break between brunch and the dessert party allowed us and our guests to nap, swim, play in the parks or tour the resorts. I loved having something else to look forward to later in the day, after the reception - it really extended the fun and excitement of the day. I think it also made our guests appreciate the dessert party more because it stood apart, instead of just being the second half of a really long reception.

Monsieur Paul has a food and beverage minimum of $5,000 for events ending before 4pm and $10,000 for events after. The venue fee is $250. If you have the PassPorter, all the details are in Chapter 3.