Wiccan...... Kinda long.

[raysnkaysmom]

Here's another sort of weird tangent. Know how 2008 is all about being green & saving planet & doing things with less chemicals and more natural.........

Well maybe she's really got that green thinking in her head & wicca /nature thing came along at just the time she was looking for religion.

i told you it was a weird thought. lol

Well..yeah...thats why my OP was about finding something about nature...volunteering etc would be what she is 'really' looking for.

 

[minkydog]

We went through this with DS21 when he was a teenager. At the time he was very much into alternative music, goth dress, dark poetry, very emo. He had a gf who wanted to be wiccan, so he decided that he would be wiccan, too. DH & I are Christian. We do not share the beliefs of wiccans, though we love the earth and try to conserve.

I felt that DS was mostly just testing the waters, trying to see if he could get a rise out of us (he was going through a very difficult time )Because we feel strongly about our faith we told DS that while he was welcome to explore the wiccan religion, he would not be welcome to practice it in our home. He could practice it elsewhere, but we would not accept rituals or paraphenalia in our home. He agreed to that and we let the matter drop. In the meantime, we continued to practice our faith quietly and did not require that he believe or practice Christianity. If he wanted to attend youth group events, that was his choice.

DS experimented with paganism for a few years and then he got involved in a Bible study that a friend of his attended (I think there were girls there ) He began to ask a lot of questions about our beliefs and met with the youth minister for lunch several times. In the end, DS decided that he wanted to be a Christian and he thanked us for giving him the time to work it out for himself, without pressuring him or getting angry.

I know that some people will not agree with how we handled this, but I think it was okay. I was proud for DS for figuring it out on his own. and I was glad that DH & I were able to stand up for our own faith with integrity. DS is an adult now. Had he decided to continue to practice Wicca, then we would still accept him. We just would not worship together.

 

[raysnkaysmom]

I "converted" to Wicca about 5 yrs ago. Born and raised Southern Baptist, but never felt right in any Christian church. i shopped around for a long time and finally gave up. i know i believed in a diety/deities but not in the all powerful vengeful jealous old testament God.

Through several little twists of faith I was invited to a ritual and haven't looked back since.

Sure it might just be a phase inspired by a movie, or she might be using the movie to break the ice on the subject with you. There are several good sites and books out there, and a lot of bad ones too.

IMHO, she is going to look into Wicca whether you like it or not. Wouldn't it be better if you were well informed and offered to help her instead only of trying to get her to look at other options?

There are some groups out there that claim to practice Wicca, but they are really very far from it. I know of at least one group in the Atlanta area claiming to be Wiccan, but it is a sex and drug cult. Nothing they "practice" even remotely resembles Wicca.

This is one of the best basic explanations of Wicca
http://www.ravenwoodchurch.org/beliefs.htm


There are several branches of Wicca. I practice with an eclectic independent coven.

Here are a few sites and books
http://www.witchvox.com/

The best book IMHO for a very simple into into Wicca
http://www.llewellyn.com/bookstore/book.php?pn=L118

Since she is really interested in the nature connection
http://www.llewellyn.com/bookstore/book.php?pn=J181

I will try to find my copy of recommend reading for beginners.

Thank you for these.....I'm going to keep these links around...just in case. Like I said....I dont' want to alienate her...I just want her to know there is more out there...
but..I won't push her away if this (after careful consideration and long term knowledge) is what she wants....

 

[sha_lyn]

My old roommate became a Wiccan High Priestess. It's not devil worship. From what I've read, it's more about worshiping a goddess, nature..more of a Pagan belief. Casting spells is part of it, but they don't believe in casting "bad" spells. They believe any spell cast ( good or bad) will come back at them 3 fold.

I would do some research, as other posters have advised. Unless you live in Mass (as I used to!) she probably won't really have a coven to join.

the best definition of spell casting I heard was Spells are just prayers with props.

As for covens, you would be amazed at how easy it is to find a coven just about anywhere these days. Even right here in the middle of the bible belt.

 

[sdarwkcabemanmy]

What's wrong with showing her Christianity?

A lot, IMO. But I'll keep that to myself, since I don't want to start any fights.

 

[christiane]

I know someone who is Wiccan..and I knew her for about 3 years before I even knew that about her. She is a great person & all of her friends that I've met who are Wiccan seem like happy down-to-earth people. I would say that for this group, it is a philosophy and way of life; they are not heavy into rituals or into the formality of their Church. Their focus is definitely nature & its forces, not worship of evil.

I did attend a Wiccan wedding with them (I think it's called a hand-fast?) and it was beautiful. And again, it was about love & it's beauty..not anything evil.

So, if I wasn't strongly religious, I don't think it would bother me that my daughter chose Wicca, any more than choosing another non-Christian religion, such as Judaism, Hinduism or Islam.

Now having said that, our family has very strong Christian beliefs, so I guess I would be concerned if my children rejected Christianity...for whatever reason. So I don't know what I would do..

 

[pennst8r]

As for covens, you would be amazed at how easy it is to find a coven just about anywhere these days. Even right here in the middle of the bible belt.

I shouldn't be surprised by that. I liked your advice about being careful to find a coven that is truly Wiccan.

A lot, IMO. But I'll keep that to myself, since I don't want to start any fights.

DH liks to say the nuns in his Catholic School upbringing beat the religion out of him.

 

[sha_lyn]

Thank you for these.....I'm going to keep these links around...just in case. Like I said....I dont' want to alienate her...I just want her to know there is more out there...
but..I won't push her away if this (after careful consideration and long term knowledge) is what she wants....

ITA about wanting her to know what else is out there. In fact my DD would like to start exploring Christianity. We'll start with something I can tolerate (LOL) like the local Unity Church, and attending special events at the contemporary Methodist Church that several friends attend.

I just think it might be a good idea for you to offer to look with her at the information on Wicca, since there are many groups out there that claim to be Wicca but are very far from it.
Also any reputable coven will not allow a minor to attend without a parents permission.

 

[TheZue]

Ya when I said not just the one God religions, I meant to include them as well as others It's actually interesting looking at all of them. I'm an agnostic and I love looking at all the religions, they are all beautiful in their own way.

 

[sdarwkcabemanmy]

DH liks to say the nuns in his Catholic School upbringing beat the religion out of him.

Yeah...I went to a church that was pretty strict and my parents were really..weird about religion. My mother didn't want me to go to other churches (even with friends) because it would violate the covenant she made with God at my baptism.

Once, when we got into an argument over something, my stepdad barred me from leaving the room, held a Bible in front of him and yelled "SATAN GET BEHIND ME!" until I got so exhausted I gave up.

 

[momx2]

A lot, IMO. But I'll keep that to myself, since I don't want to start any fights.

I do disagree with the self righteous attitude that I find sometimes in churches, but really, Christianity itself is everything to me. Without the people that can bring it down, what do you find so offensive about Christianity? Feel free to PM me so we don't hijack the thread.

OP---I still think you should expose your DD to your beliefs and let her make up her own mind.

 

[KikiFan]

I know that some people will not agree with how we handled this, but I think it was okay. I was proud for DS for figuring it out on his own. and I was glad that DH & I were able to stand up for our own faith with integrity. DS is an adult now. Had he decided to continue to practice Wicca, then we would still accept him. We just would not worship together.

I think you handled it perfectly! I firmly believe you can't force someone to believe what you believe. If you try, you risk alienating them.

I'm sort of going through this with my daughter now. In 5th grade she started hating going to church. It really shocked and hurt me, because she'd always loved it. But I decided that forcing her really wasn't going to make things better. So for almost a year I'd leave her home while I went to church.

Once she aged up to the middle school programs, she decided to check it out. Now she loves it, and gets mad if she misses class. But here's the rub. If you ask her? she'll tell you she's atheist. She just doesn't believe in God. But I always tell her whether she believes in God or not, Jesus taught many useful tools for living a good life. For now, that's enough. I figure as long as she's engaged I'm happy with that. At least the door is open.

According to my minister, its really common for kids 12-14 to really start questioning religious beliefs and start searching for what they believe.

Thank you for these.....I'm going to keep these links around...just in case. Like I said....I dont' want to alienate her...I just want her to know there is more out there...
but..I won't push her away if this (after careful consideration and long term knowledge) is what she wants....

Please don't take offense to this; but your comment doesn't seem like you're very open. It still seems like you're determined to steer her away from Wiccan. I'm not suggesting that you steer her towards it, just that you show her that you truly respect her interest and are willing to explore it with her. This may turn out to be a phase, but as long as she's convinced its what she believes, you've got to respect that. Otherwise she may just dig in her heels just to prove you wrong.

I think you're sort of in an awkward position. You made the decision not to practice your own religion, nor did you allow her to attend church with her friends. If you now try to force her towards Christianity, she'll probably see it as being hypocritical.

In your situation, I'd probably try to make a deal with her. Since she hasn't been exposed to religion very much, agree to look into Wiccan -if she'll also look into other religions, including Christianity. I think you'll have much better luck influencing her if you're part of the process and she sees you as being open and fair.

 

[Cool-Beans]

I'd figure it was a phase and while I wouldn't encourage it, I wouldn't make a big deal out of it.

Or maybe I'd buy her a cauldron.

When one of my boys was 12 years old, he wanted to work at Disney Quest when he grew up.

They outgrow their goofy ideas. And they outgrow them sooner if you don't force them to dig their heels in and fight to be a Disney Quest employee or a witch or whatever.

"That's nice, dear" will talk them out of it quicker than, "Over my dead body."

 

[DevilDuckie]

Okay, start with, at 13 your daughter doesn't even really understand her new purported religion- otherwise she'd realize that Wiccans frequently refer to themselve as witches and thir religion as "the craft".

Wicca as a religion is a broad specturm- broader than the full gamut of Christianity from Unitarians to Pentacostals. It's a HUGE catchall term.

While some of the sects or "traditions" out there can get downright silly, in the ten years I was a practicing witch I never found one that was evil or deliberately harmful. (We will avoid my personal beliefs as a born again Christian re: false gods and the harm of worshipping them- not germane to this conversation.)

Your daughter sounds like she's being a silly "you just don't understand me" teen at the moment but you should be prepared for the possibility that this will be more than a phase. I recommend doing some reading. Starhawk's "Spiral Dance" is an excellent source and Silver Ravenwolf (I swear I didn't make that up, she really calls herself that) writes some very accessible stuff that will shed some light on what this is all about. "To Ride a Silver Broomstick" is probably where you want to begin. I know she wrote but I never read "Teen Witch"- I suspect that's a good way to go as well.

You want to know more about this than she does. You want to be able to counter "oh, you don't get it" with "I DO get it and here's what my problem is." Her chances of getting into something weird that calls itself Wicca are higher if nobody in her house understands it. You want to be able to watch a nonsense film like "The Craft" with her and point out the fallacies and the misinformation. If she's serious, you want to steer her right. If it's a phase, you knowing all about it will kill the glamour.

 

[DevilDuckie]

Once, when we got into an argument over something, my stepdad barred me from leaving the room, held a Bible in front of him and yelled "SATAN GET BEHIND ME!" until I got so exhausted I gave up.

The correct response to this is, of course, "I CAN'T! You're blocking the door!"

I'm sorry, it's one of those things where you have to laugh so you don't cry.

 

[bumbershoot]

Satanism is NOT a pagan religion. Satanism, like it or not, is an offshoot of Christianity. Since pagans do not worship the God of the Bible, they certainly wouldn't worship the devil from the same theology.

And, FWIW, there ARE Christian Wiccans. Wiccans can certainly worship God--and you'd be likely very surprised that Wiccan ritual is *very* much like liturgy in Christian churches. It's hardly "evil"--but it is very, very misunderstood.

Ayep.

Yeah...I went to a church that was pretty strict and my parents were really..weird about religion. My mother didn't want me to go to other churches (even with friends) because it would violate the covenant she made with God at my baptism.

Once, when we got into an argument over something, my stepdad barred me from leaving the room, held a Bible in front of him and yelled "SATAN GET BEHIND ME!" until I got so exhausted I gave up.

Oh gracious.

Your stepdad hasn't only been in your life for 5 years, has he? Because if he has then we might be related. Sounds like something my stepdad would have done, and he's now married to a woman so far beyond where my mom (she's been dead 8 years) ever was in religion, and I can see the wife of my stepdad saying something like that...



OP, I'm just pained that ANYONE would base ANY life decision on such a horrid movie as The Craft. That movie was Heathers with a twist, and not a well-acted one, either. Basing decisions on anything Fairuza Balk was in is just a bad choice.

 

[maelstrom]

Speaking as someone who went through this herself as a young teenager, you'd do well to educate yourself on the religion and speak openly about it with your daughter. She's going to continue to research it and be interested in it whether you like it or not (tis the nature of a teenager). I highly recommend the book "Wicca: A Guide for the Solitary Practitioner" by Scott Cunningham; it's basically a primer on Wicca and gives you the rundown on what it is (and what it is not). Wiccans do NOT worship the "devil", as no such entity exists in Wicca. It is a very nature oriented religion. Many Wiccans do call themselves witches and refer to their rituals and spells as witchcraft. It is part of the Wiccan creed that you harm none and that whatever you do will come back to you threefold. Wiccan spells are a lot like prayers, but they tend to involve candles, gems/rocks, and other props.

Your daughter may decide that Wicca is not the religion for her (that's what happened with me; I am now a happy atheist). Or she may come to feel a closeness to it and feel that she is meant to be Wiccan, as many people feel they are meant to be Jewish, Muslim, or Christian.

While your daughter's initial interest in Wicca appears to have come from the movie "The Craft", which is a terrible misrepresentation of the religion, it sounds like what she researched online was correct information.

 

[raysnkaysmom]

Please don't take offense to this; but your comment doesn't seem like you're very open. It still seems like you're determined to steer her away from Wiccan. I'm not suggesting that you steer her towards it, just that you show her that you truly respect her interest and are willing to explore it with her. This may turn out to be a phase, but as long as she's convinced its what she believes, you've got to respect that. Otherwise she may just dig in her heels just to prove you wrong.

I think you're sort of in an awkward position. You made the decision not to practice your own religion, nor did you allow her to attend church with her friends. If you now try to force her towards Christianity, she'll probably see it as being hypocritical.

In your situation, I'd probably try to make a deal with her. Since she hasn't been exposed to religion very much, agree to look into Wiccan -if she'll also look into other religions, including Christianity. I think you'll have much better luck influencing her if you're part of the process and she sees you as being open and fair.

2 things...
I think you are right in the sense I might be trying to 'steer' her away... but hey...I'm trying!!! I came here for advice didn't I?!??!

2nd... I never said I was forcing her towards Christianity..... No intentions of doing that either... I want her to see more options now as I see she jumped on the first option she saw....

 

[Kath2003]

Surely the more both you and your daughter can learn about Wicca, or any another religion, the better, even if neither of you decide to practice it?

I would encourage her to explore any religions she wants to. She probably won't make up her mind until she's older, but she needs the facts in order to make that decision.

She didn't jump on the first option she saw, because that would have been Christianity The girl's thinking for herself, she just needs a little more 'range'!

 

[ckay87]

My DS, 15, is a lot like your daughter. We took him to (Lutheran) Sunday School every week from toddlerhood to age 13. We still attend church, but he is very curious about other religions.

The way I see it, educating oneself about other religions is very valuable, especially in today's world. I encourage him to do so and to think for himself. He's currently interested in Buddahism and is reading through books by the Dahli Lama. I'll admit, I've just flipped through them, but how can I get in the way of him reading books about compassion and finding peace in your life, etc.? Even though we raised him Christian, I'd be supportive of any peaceful religion he chose.

Aside from Satanism, I feel like any religion (including Wiccan) is better than none. That's just IMO. I don't think your doomed without a religion, don't get me wrong. I just think, generally-speaking, it's a helpful tool to help you navigate through life.