Wiccan...... Kinda long.

[Evil Genius]

I swore I wasn't going to answer this thread, but I keep getting dragged over to it.

I guess my first question to the OP is what do you find so offensive about Wiccan? The answer to that will help you with your daughter.

I've been a Wiccan for 20 years. It has caused problems in my family and I have lost friends over it. Lack of knowledge being the key problem.

When my world was falling down around me last year, my faith got me through it. I knew the Goddess would make my feet and my heart strong and steady as I faced the days ahead. And she did. I prayed alot and still do. As suggested here, prayers are not spells, they are prayers.

I do not own a cauldron, I do not shape shift, I do not levitate, I don't have demons showing up in my house. I lead a quiet life, secure in my faith.

If you and your daughter would like to IM me and discuss this I would be more than happy to. It's not the glitz and glamour and danger that Hollywood has shown it to be.

I have one last question before I end this. When someone here loses a loved one, or is in need of comfort and I type something like "My prayers are with your family" do you think those prayers are tainted because I am Wiccan or do they have the same strength and power that Christian prayers have?

 

[Kath2003]

I do not own a cauldron, I do not shape shift, I do not levitate, I don't have demons showing up in my house.

Boooooorrrrriiiiiinnnnnggggg

 

[sdarwkcabemanmy]

DevilDuckie--Yup. The only way to survive my past (and my family) is to laugh at them.

Bumbershoot--He's been married to my mom for nearly *counts* 23 years now. He grew up Catholic (he's Hispanic) and turned Baptist before becoming a Lutheran.

 

[debbi801]

I swore I wasn't going to answer this thread, but I keep getting drag over to it.

I guess my first question to the OP is what do you find so offensive about Wiccan? The answer to that will help you with your daughter.

I've been a Wiccan for 20 years. It has caused problems in my family and I have lost friends over it. Lack of knowledge being the key problem.

When my world was falling down around me last year, my faith got me through it. I knew the Goddess would make my feet and my heart strong and steady as I faced the days ahead. And she did. I prayed alot and still do. As suggested here, prayers are not spells, they are prayers.

I do not own a cauldron, I do not shape shift, I do not levitate, I don't have demons showing up in my house. I lead a quiet life, secure in my faith.

If you and your daughter would like to IM me and discuss this I would be more than happy to. It's not the glitz and glamour and danger that Hollywood has shown it to be.

I have one last question before I end this. When someone here loses a loved one, or is in need of comfort and I type something like "My prayers are with your family" do you think those prayers are tainted because I am Wiccan or do they have the same strength and power that Christian prayers have?

I am Jewish, DH is Wiccan. Our kids are being raised Jewish, but are knowledgeable about DH's religion too. IMO, the two mesh well together.

The Wiccan religion is very beautiful and peaceful. A lot of the comments in this thread frighten me the way people who protest Harry Potter frighten me. Wiccan's are not out there sacrificing kittens, performing dark magic, etc. I don't understand the closemindedness.

OP, before you decide that this would be terrible for your child, why don't you do some reading and educate yourself. You might find that you like this religion too. There are a lot of rituals in Christianity that came from the Pagan religions.

I would also recommend you trying to locate a UU church in your area. Even if you decide it isn't your cup of tea, I think it is worth looking into for your child's sake.

 

[Evil Genius]

Boooooorrrrriiiiiinnnnnggggg

Ah but see I didn't tell you the things I do have.

 

[Laura]

Let her research Wicca and decide if it's something she really wants to be a part of. There's nothing she will learn or be involved in that will harm her. She may decide it's not for her, or it may last. But it's her decision, and her belief system that she's trying to develop.

If one has a religion, it should be an expression of one's own personality, not an expression of what one's parents would like them to be.

 

[Tiggernut_jadie]

My sister is a Wiccan and I am an athiest. We both moved away from Christianity as teenagers and are both happy with our own choices. Both of us did a lot of religious exploration before coming to where we are now and our parents were wonderfully supportive of our journeys.

 

[ChrizJen]

I think that the best advice that has been given on this thread is for you, OP, to research the Wiccan religion with your daughter. As others have said, you do want to know and understand as much, if not more about it than she does. Not so that you can debate with her and counter her when she makes a mistake. But because she is young, and might misunderstand some of the things she reads. If you make an effort to understand it, then you can help her understand it as well.

Comments have been made like "this is probably just a silly phase", and "she doesn't know enough about it to know if it's right for her". It could just be a phase. But to call it silly and discard as unimportant would be like telling her that you don't care about her interests. (which is obviously not entirely true, or you wouldn't be here asking for advice. )

And she most certainly doesn't know enough about the Wiccan religion from watching "The Craft". But ideas and inspiration have to come from somewhere. She obviously did some research. She knew on her own that what she saw on the movie was not the whole truth, so she saught out more information. If this were my daughter (and she's not...), I would embrace her interest in the subject, take it as an opportunity to learn with her, and thank my lucky stars that she chose the Wiccan religion and not something like satanism. She's obviously an intelligent young person, and she needs to know that her parents can support her interests (within reason, obviously, providing that they're not harmful). In my opinion, redirecting her interest into other areas is almost the same as brushing it off and dismissing it altogether. It still sends the message that you don't approve of her interest, and you want her to do something else instead. If you dismiss something as (ultimately) harmless as choice of religion, then she may at some point stop sharing her ideas with you, for fear that you won't take them seriously.

Just my opinion, for what it's worth. She's yours.

 

[XTinabell]

I think now is the time to satisfy her curiosity with spirituality and religion. I would tell her she's not allowed to only pursue wiccan but that she should sit down with an evangalist and get the scoop on christianity and you're beliefs and perhaps she should sit down with a wiccan with you and get the scoop on that religion. She's young so what's black and white for you won't necessarily be for her, and that's where you become the parent and offer her guidance.

 

[chell]

First of all I have to say that your daughter's email to you sounded very mature. I agree with others that the two of you should research it together. It is great that you are trying to be open and not shun your daughter. It may only be a phase but it really may be what her heart feels is right. You can also present her with research on other religions to see how she feels about those and can even compare those. Maybe she sees being Wiccan as more of a way of life.

 

[LuvTigger]

I recently had a discussion with an older coworker (in his 70's, has 4 children who are all very successful and have good family lives), and he was telling me how he raised his children with regard to religion.

When his children were still children, he and his wife would take them to church. However, he encouraged them to explore all types of religion and to make a decision for themselves as to which they felt suited their individual personalities best. Sometimes his children were invited to attend church services with their friends, even if it wasn't the same school of religion, and they supported their children experiencing different things. As a result, none of them felt stifled or pressured to follow the same beliefs as their parents and some of them chose different faiths, but they all grew up to be wonderful, successful adults with great children.

I think the same could apply to your situation. Maybe let her explore Wicca (with your oversight), but also encourage her to also keep an open mind on other religions too -- in fact, why not cut a deal with her -- you'll keep an open mind to Wicca if she keeps an open mind about other religions as well. If she doesn't know about anything else, how does she know what other options she has? While I think she should be free to pursue Wicca if she truly believes in it, she should also be encouraged to look at a variety of options before settling on one, as opposed to choosing the first thing that comes along.

 

[raysnkaysmom]

I just wanted to say I have appreciated EVERY ONE of your words and after much thought at work today after I began this post...and reading the responses after my last... I believe I am more open to allowing her to research it. I believe a true Wiccan is much more peaceful than I gave credit for after hearing you guys... I'm sure their are shady Wiccans just as there are shady Christians. I have to believe my daughter is pure of heart and will do only good in whichever religion or way of life she chooses.

Thank you

 

[TomLovesBecky]

I don't think distracting her from it is the right answer. All that tells her is you do not respect her interests and want to give her something else to keep her busy. Kind of insulting and not something I would do to my daughter, NOT BASHING but being honest here. Let her research it and decide for herself what she thinks about it when she knows the real facts. If you have a problem with it try not to show it unless you think it's a very serious matter. It will probably blow over, but if it doesn't or even if it does she will resent you basically raining on her parade. From what you've said she's done only the most basic research on it, odds are she will be on to something else next month, but just in case it's a bad idea to badmouth wicca to her. That is the same advice I got about boyfriends/girlfriends, unless there is a SERIOUS concern about them do not state your opinion or that will just upset your child and make them feel like you do not trust or respect their judgment. Now for my personal beliefs, I don't "get" wicca, it seems harmless but cheesy to me--just being honest here again--but I would not discourage it from one of my kids if they wanted to try it. I seriously doubt it is devil worshiping like you said, that is something made up in movies or books (actually I'm not sure where it came from but I know it's wrong).

 

[chell]

I just wanted to say I have appreciated EVERY ONE of your words and after much thought at work today after I began this post...and reading the responses after my last... I believe I am more open to allowing her to research it. I believe a true Wiccan is much more peaceful than I gave credit for after hearing you guys... I'm sure their are shady Wiccans just as there are shady Christians. I have to believe my daughter is pure of heart and will do only good in whichever religion or way of life she chooses.

Thank you

I just wanted to add that I think it shows you have done a wonderful job raising a fine daughter the way she "spoke" to you in her email and the way she was able to come to you with this. You can tell she respects you. This speaks loads about you and your parenting skills too.

 

[raysnkaysmom]

I just wanted to add that I think it shows you have done a wonderful job raising a fine daughter the way she "spoke" to you in her email and the way she was able to come to you with this. You can tell she respects you. This speaks loads about you and your parenting skills too.

Thank you soooo much
I really think she is a good kid and I want her to always be able to talk to me.. thats why, when I began to 2nd guess myself and my judgement, I reached out for advice... Sometimes, us moms need a back up plan

 

[jenfur]

Wow! I went through the same thing when I was 14-16. My mom is Church of Christ, and I know when people want to stress strict doctrine they cite Southern Baptist or Catholics but believe me, they are no where near Church of Christ. I just knew it wasn't "right". So I went with Wicca, bought a ton of books, started hanging out with that crowd. I also realized I had a lot of ideas about it that were not correct. This is probablt true of your daughter if she was inspired by The Craft. I remember planting tulip bulbs with a candle and saying incantations under the stars...and then you realize that Wicca is not about some powerful force granting your wishes either. I then started researching a lot of religions and came back to Christianity with a better understanding of what Christianity really is.

Yeah, her email sounds mature, but kids can sound VERY mature when they want something. Help her research, don't criticize her choices, when she asks what you think, be honest without being condescending. Don't force your opinion, teens LOVE being "different". Her true motivations will surface. Giving her all of the facts and maybe praying a little yourself is the best thing you can do.

 

[bumbershoot]

Bumbershoot--He's been married to my mom for nearly *counts* 23 years now. He grew up Catholic (he's Hispanic) and turned Baptist before becoming a Lutheran.

Ah. Well then we're not related by marriage. But that means there are two people like that out there...

Ah but see I didn't tell you the things I do have.

Instead of Peeps, I want to hear about that in your next big thread.

 

[chell]

Thank you soooo much
I really think she is a good kid and I want her to always be able to talk to me.. thats why, when I began to 2nd guess myself and my judgement, I reached out for advice... Sometimes, us moms need a back up plan

You are very welcome.

 

[sdarwkcabemanmy]

Bumbershoot-- Maybe he is my stepdad's twin? Not that my stepdad has a twin, that I know of anyway. But he could. They say everybody has a double somewhere, right?

 

[GoldieSaysMeep]

I would probably just let it go and see if it is just a phase, maybe get her a book on relgions of the world and see if she is interested in something else.

Honestly, I live near Salem, MA. I spend a lot of time there. I'm more agnostic than anything else, but the Wiccans I know are some of the kindest, sweetest most caring people I have ever met. Salem is pretty much the US capital for Wicca. Peaceful is the best way I can think of to describe it.

But since she saw it in a movie, I understand your concern with not wanting her to choose her life's religion based on a film. Which is why I'd get her a book, and explain your beliefs. She's young. Let her learn as much as she can and then choose when she is older.

If Wicca is what she chooses, believe me there are WAY worse things.