Why would someone say this?

[Eeyore'sthebest]

And change the locks to your house..

NO!!!! Do not change the locks until you consult an attorney. This is considered keeping him from his marital assets. Nice, huh?! My sister just started the process in NJ and this is what she was told by her attorney. Please get one ASAP!
Now, if you do decide to throw his cheating behind out and he refuses to leave, you can get a court order for this.
My sister went through years of verbal abuse. She is now feeling stronger and standing up to him. It is wonderful to witness. Her motivation through the entire thing is to protect her DD. Keep thinking of your DS and the example your DH is setting for him. That motivates my sister! Yes, she has bad days but they are getting fewer and fewer.
Keep strong and learn your legal rights!!

 

[tinker&belle]

NO!!!! Do not change the locks until you consult an attorney. This is considered keeping him from his marital assets. Nice, huh?! My sister just started the process in NJ and this is what she was told by her attorney. Please get one ASAP!
Now, if you do decide to throw his cheating behind out and he refuses to leave, you can get a court order for this.
My sister went through years of verbal abuse. She is now feeling stronger and standing up to him. It is wonderful to witness. Her motivation through the entire thing is to protect her DD. Keep thinking of your DS and the example your DH is setting for him. That motivates my sister! Yes, she has bad days but they are getting fewer and fewer.
Keep strong and learn your legal rights!!

"Marital Assets"- Does that mean what I think it means? If so that really needs to be brought to the attention of someone who can change it...as if that is a 'right' of a man to have easy access!

Just had to say something. I guess it seems like so many things are equal and then you hear something backwards like this.

 

[Eeyore'sthebest]

No, it means its his home, his stuff, not the wife. Apparently this isn't as simple as one would like to think. I personally would love to see the cheating, manipulative so-and-so locked out and served with his divorce papers while romancing the hootchie on their "vacation". But alas, we have laws that don't always make sense. I'm sure there is a reason behind it and as soon as I figure it out I'll let you know.
To the OP, best of luck with everything!

 

[tinker&belle]

Eeyore'sthebest- Thanks for clearing that up... the house type stuff makes more sense (although not necessarily the best thing, but better than my first interpretation).

Getting a lawyer is the most important first step. Then the OP will know what she can do.

 

[Puffy2]

Some people just don't want to be responsible for anything. And they use passive agressive behavior to get what they want. It's childish and immature and hurtful, but common. Is he trying to make you so miserable that you throw him out?

Whatever, the point that really matters is whether or not you want him around any more anyway. If you don't, tell him it's over and you'd like him out.(but consult a divorce lawyer first because some of this is tricky when it comes to custody, property, etc....) If you want him to stay - tell him so and perhaps ask for/ require marriage counseling (so you'll know he's being serious about his effort to stay).

 

[tkd lisa]

As long as both names are on the deed, mortgage, or rental agreement, you can't deny entrance.

In my case, I had signed the new rental agreement by myself, since my soon to be ex was still convinced we could MAKE our builder sell us the house we were buying. So my soon to be ex- had no right to enter the property. I sorted out his stuff and took it to him.

But a good friend of mine ended up breaking into her townhouse to get her stuff on the advice of her lawyer. She couldn't be charged with B&E, because she had legal right to go there since she was on the deed. She did have to pay to have the window replaced. She also could have gotten a court order, but she was afraid her ex would have destroyed her stuff by then.

 

[rt2dz]

OP--I have not read the entire thread. All your posts & quite a few others though. I have a few thoughts.

I won't cancel the ressies. I would however, after the plane takes off, cancel all the credit cards. Try checking into the hotel with no credit card. I would also clear out the checking & saving accounts of my half and set it up in something he couldn't touch, an account in your sister's name perhaps? Then use what is left to pay for some things. Pre-pay that May trip--hotel, tickets, Disney gift cards for spending money. Whatever you can think of.

Pack all his stuff and put it in storage. Or at least boxes. When he gets back you can tell him he needs to decide to leave or stay, but if staying he has to end the other thing. And no matter what he decides, use that attorny to start divorce preceedings.